12:30 AM - Aug 17, 2016 #915
From: worktowin
A few months ago Todd asked me to read a eulogy at his services - I wanted to share one last post, as I shared with his family and friends here in Minot ND, to send Todd out in true KTC-style. Don't ever forget what tobacco did to this great man, or his family. Use his memory to help you, and others, win.
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Todd asked me to speak on his behalf several months ago. Some of what you will hear today is from me, but most is from Todd. He had a way with words and life that most of us can never hope to match, so please bear with me while I try to do my best.
When did you first meet Todd Garcia? Some of you have known him his whole life, some for decades, some for many years. I had the honor of meeting Todd in person only one time, just a few months ago in March for a Vegas getaway. For 4 days a small group with a shared brotherhood tore up Las Vegas. I first spoke with Todd 1,160 days ago. From that point until the middle of last week, we texted or spoke to each other almost daily – usually several or many times each day.
Todd was one of a kind. There was no wishy washy, politically correct, everything’s a shade of gray - with Todd. When you talked with him, there was no judging. There was no hate. But there was a clear sense of right and wrong, just and unjust, fair and unfair. In today’s society, this is not a common trait. Todd didn’t believe everyone deserved a gold star or a big trophy. He was “all in on everything he did.” When he played, he played hard. When he worked, he worked to win. That’s not to say that he cheated or cut corners – it means that he lived life to the fullest. My example of this is that – if Todd was at a buffet eating chicken wings, first of all he would eat more than anyone else, but if he saw a member of ISIS across the room, he would charge them with one of those little plastic forks and take them out. Then he would duck behind something so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the press, and eat more chicken wings. That was Todd.
I wanna talk a little about some of my favorite memories, because I’m sure each of you have your own which are similar to mine. Todd would want us to laugh today, and these stories never fail to make me laugh. In March, right after returning home from the Vegas trip, Todd discovered that his cancer was back. He launched into treatment almost immediately, and the afternoon that he returned home from his initial treatment, surprised several of us with a text and a picture of himself in a tiny little 2 piece blue bikini. Now, if you’ve never seen a picture of Todd in a bikini, let me assure you – it’s something that is not easily forgotten. This isn’t something that you can just un-see. That bikini was stretched to its limits, in ways that bikinis were not meant to be stretched. I had a mouthful of water when I opened the text – and spit it all over my living room with it when I saw the picture. That was Todd!
Around this time, Todd and Brenda bought a pig named Wilbur. Todd ripped the living crap out of his port while building Wilbur a house right after surgery. Anyone else would have laid on the couch moaning about what was going on, but Todd was busy building a pig house in the middle of a North Dakota winter like it was just any other day. I’m sure Brenda was fit to be tied, but when Todd got a project started, you might as well stand back and let him finish, because he was on a mission and it would not be deterred. A couple of months later I received a text that Brenda was really upset, and that Wilbur was dead! I crafted this really sympathetic note about what a great pig Wilbur must have been, what a loss they must feel, how Wilbur must be in a better place… and promptly hear back: yeah I’m sad too if Wilbur is dead! Animals are for work or food and I was looking forward to eating Wilbur! Again, I almost coughed from laughing, but come to find out, Brenda was wrong and Wilbur was fine. Well, he was fine until a couple of weeks ago. One of my last texts from Todd was a picture of a pork roast straight from the oven with the words “Wilbur on the half shell. Yum!” That was Todd.
From memories of tough guy carrying Brenda’s little pink flowered bag through the Las Vegas airport, to memories of heated debates that Dodge trucks are better than Chevy trucks are better than Ford trucks, to memories of watching Todd eat more crab legs than any one person should ever be able to eat, to the day Todd bought the ice castle that looked more like a Marriott than those little igloos I thought you guys in North Dakota used to go ice fishing, or photos of him and Seth and what looked like every goose in existence laying out on the grass after a successful hunt, Todd was one of a kind. He couldn’t claim victory on the zipline race down Fremont Street, but he was quick to tell me that is only because I weighed too much. That was Todd!
Todd was a remarkable soldier and worker. He fought for the greatest country on earth in Desert Storm, and undoubtedly saw, and did, some incredibly difficult things in service for this country, without any expectation of reward in return. Upon returning from his military service, Todd worked in the medical field and then moved over to the missile maintenance job – which he absolutely loved! His coworkers over the years saw and knew what a rare gem Todd was, and they were lucky to have had the chance to work with him. One of Todd’s biggest mental challenges through this horrible disease was his concern that he wouldn’t be able to work at the job that he loved and felt so lucky to have. That was Todd.
Brenda has been an incredibly supportive and loving wife, keeping her patience and composure though some times that those of us in this room honestly cannot even imagine. She juggled many responsibilities but always made sure Todd was getting the care he deserved. Todd was quick to call Brenda his rock, and frequently said that she was the reason he fought so hard. My last real text from Todd was on August 4th, and it was a conversation about how proud he was of Seth. How grown up he is, and how he has really grown into a responsible and respectable man of honor. Those are the qualities that defined Todd, and that is what he saw in Seth in my last conversation with him. Dalton and Ryker lost their role model, but they have his genes. With the support of everyone in this room, they will grow to be like their dad.
Back to the beginning, by now several of you must be wondering… how did this dude that I’ve never seen or heard of come to stand up here today? Well, I first met Todd because both of us were fighting an addiction, an addiction that many of you in this room are harboring. Todd and I both dipped tobacco – we were nicotine addicts. Both of us were heavy users for decades. We met in an internet forum where thousands of us found support, and each other. Together we fought an addiction as hard to break as heroin. 4 addicts and our spouses met for 4 days in Vegas, and thank God we did. I asked Todd 2 weeks ago if he thought tobacco caused his cancer, and he gave me a long scientific medical answer that I didn’t understand, but it all boiled down to “absolutely.” Several of you guys, and maybe ladies, have a tin in your pocket. Even more of you have a pack of cigarettes and you are beginning to feel that little withdrawal from not having a puff for the last hour or so. There are the high school football players that are close friends of Seth that will throw one in after practice just to be cool. Todd and I did the same thing when we were your age. It took us DECADES to break that cycle.
I’m not judging any of you, because Todd and I WERE you. Telling you that Todd was a victim of the same thing you are inwardly itching to get outside and get a fix of won’t make a single one of you quit – because Todd and I heard these stories for decades. I can quit any time. But we both know – you really can’t. Yeah tobacco might cause cancer, but that happens to other people. Todd and I both said this stuff. But one day, we both decided to wake up and quit. And that is how fate came together to make this nerdy business guy from Kansas City and Todd forge a lifelong friendship. If you are in the throws of addition, I pray that you quit before it is too late. That, my friends, was Todd’s last wish that he typed on the support website “Kill The Can”. He hoped that his story would save at least one of you from being in the chemo chair, or having port after port installed. There have been almost 1,000 responses from quitters from California to Connecticut, Texas to Toronto - to Todd’s story on the website - and most have said that his words, his strength, and just him being him strengthened their resolve to quit and fueled their hated of tobacco. Honor Todd’s memory just like these people are, and talk with your children early and often and let them know that what seems cool at the time is nothing but a lie, and one with serious consequences.
Life without Todd will be very difficult for Brenda, Seth, and all of his family and friends going forward. That being said, Todd would not want us to be overwhelmed with sadness. He was a very strong and hillarious individual and would always look for the humor in any situation and would want us to do the same. Let’s remember Todd for all of his great qualities and appreciate the time we spent with him. We should make sure that his memory lives on in all of us for as long as we live.
