day 3

[traumagnet]

1:28 PM - Jul 11, 2015 #597

From: user29029

Traumagnet, I've been here less than ten days. I just read your intro thread from beginning to end. You are on an incredibly inspiring journey, and we are very fortunate that you have invested so much of yourself into this site and documented the past 2+ years. I am going to recommend to the people I reach out to, and the people who read my intro, that they read your thread. Reading about your process is very, very, humbling. The fact that our troubles aren't over on quit day, or at 100 days, or at 700 days, is a punch in the gut. We were all fools to start this drug and permit this addiction. I know why you started gutting it, and I know you were proud of it, and so was I. I fucking hate the part of me that allowed this into my life. Thank you for allowing me and everyone on this site to share your journey. I am pulling for you harder than I've pulled for family members fighting a serious illness. This site, and it's community, does that to us, I suppose. I am in your fucking corner permanently, thank you for letting me join your other brothers there.

6:18 PM - Jul 14, 2015 #598

I am humbled that you took the time to read my thread from start to finish it gets sketchy now and then as it probably does in all threads of addicts but I did want to say that I am honored.

I am just a guy that has some decisions to make I could lay down and give up or I could rally the troops and fight for all I got. I have never been good and just letting shit run me over so I only had one choice. As you have read I took the fight road and on this road it was full of great leaders motivators and some of the best men and women that I have ever conversed with. I believe that if it wasnt for KTC and my education that I received here I would not have the mental capacity to defeat cancer. I am hardened now I have been forged I know that I will always be an addict but for 820 days I have been in control of my addiction and for today only wake tomorrow repeat. I was then able to apply everything that I have learned here and dig deep there are days when the 400-430 alarm goes off that I wanted to say fuck it stay in bed but you know you give up and not get up its just like letting the mistress we left behind whisper in your ear just one day just one dip...bull fuckin shit you pull your ass up by your bootstraps and sack up you got people depending on you and they dont have time for your short comings. I have not missed one day since I have taken my new job...granted there are days I probably should have tossed in the towel but I didnt I stood fast for I am an addict I cant ever give myself a break.

Would like to mention today was especially tough to get rolling but here at 415 am I am getting a text from my ol' pal Worktowin I dont know how he does it but he knows when I need a pick me up. One text all it took sacked up got my shit together and out the door. Cant tell all the new people enough these are the type of people on this site. You get to where you can tell just from text what is happening with your close group so my suggestion for newbies is grab on to a cornerstone here and never let go.
Rambling now
Trauma out.

[traumagnet]

1:28 PM - Jul 11, 2015 #597

From: user29029

Traumagnet, I've been here less than ten days. I just read your intro thread from beginning to end. You are on an incredibly inspiring journey, and we are very fortunate that you have invested so much of yourself into this site and documented the past 2+ years. I am going to recommend to the people I reach out to, and the people who read my intro, that they read your thread. Reading about your process is very, very, humbling. The fact that our troubles aren't over on quit day, or at 100 days, or at 700 days, is a punch in the gut. We were all fools to start this drug and permit this addiction. I know why you started gutting it, and I know you were proud of it, and so was I. I fucking hate the part of me that allowed this into my life. Thank you for allowing me and everyone on this site to share your journey. I am pulling for you harder than I've pulled for family members fighting a serious illness. This site, and it's community, does that to us, I suppose. I am in your fucking corner permanently, thank you for letting me join your other brothers there.

[traumagnet]

12:56 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #591
Talked to my oncologist yesterday all labs look good. He said that 5 cycles of the heavy duty shit was good I told him I could do one more cycle of the heavy shit and he said that would be fabulous so this is the last cycle of the hard stuff then it will just be lighter chemo doses for good measure. I still will do the 12 cycles then I get a two month break so no chemo during Nov Dec. This cycle still getting the weird nerve shit but when we quit the oxilaplatin that should all go away. I still will keep the pump with FU5 but was informed yesterday that all the VA assistance the clowns on the hill promised may come to an end. Based on the call I had yesterday you have to call some chioce office and they will either approve or not approve coverage that the VA doesn't have like my pump and PET scans. We will see by the time I need tye PET scan it will be a new fiscal year for the Gov't. That a whole new ball of worms n will cross that when we get to it. Once again thank you all for the support it helps very much while strapped in w the big infusion pumps just buzz into KTC and get my dose of spinach and press on!
Trauma
817

5:12 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #592

From: ChristopherJ

Glad to hear about the continued progress Trauma. I hope the VA insurance coverage cluster gets worked out so you don't have to worry about that while fighting the cancer. Proud to be quit with you. CJ

6:20 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #593

From: jimthins

Damn proud of you Trauma. You're one of the strongest people I know. Keep it up. We'll be right here beside you.

6:51 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #594

From: B-loMatt

Keep winning the fight brother. Kick cancer to the curb just like the nic bitch; they deserve each other...

7:33 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #595

From: Pab1964

Crying ass shame how big Government works! Keep crushing this trauma, we're all with you! Prayers to you and yours!

12:42 PM - Jul 11, 2015 #596

From: worktowin

Awesome news! Keep kicking ass!

[traumagnet]

12:56 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #591
Talked to my oncologist yesterday all labs look good. He said that 5 cycles of the heavy duty shit was good I told him I could do one more cycle of the heavy shit and he said that would be fabulous so this is the last cycle of the hard stuff then it will just be lighter chemo doses for good measure. I still will do the 12 cycles then I get a two month break so no chemo during Nov Dec. This cycle still getting the weird nerve shit but when we quit the oxilaplatin that should all go away. I still will keep the pump with FU5 but was informed yesterday that all the VA assistance the clowns on the hill promised may come to an end. Based on the call I had yesterday you have to call some chioce office and they will either approve or not approve coverage that the VA doesn't have like my pump and PET scans. We will see by the time I need tye PET scan it will be a new fiscal year for the Gov't. That a whole new ball of worms n will cross that when we get to it. Once again thank you all for the support it helps very much while strapped in w the big infusion pumps just buzz into KTC and get my dose of spinach and press on!
Trauma
817

5:12 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #592

From: ChristopherJ

Glad to hear about the continued progress Trauma. I hope the VA insurance coverage cluster gets worked out so you don't have to worry about that while fighting the cancer. Proud to be quit with you. CJ

6:20 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #593

From: jimthins

Damn proud of you Trauma. You're one of the strongest people I know. Keep it up. We'll be right here beside you.

6:51 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #594

From: B-loMatt

Keep winning the fight brother. Kick cancer to the curb just like the nic bitch; they deserve each other...

7:33 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #595

From: Pab1964

Crying ass shame how big Government works! Keep crushing this trauma, we're all with you! Prayers to you and yours!

[traumagnet]

12:56 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #591
Talked to my oncologist yesterday all labs look good. He said that 5 cycles of the heavy duty shit was good I told him I could do one more cycle of the heavy shit and he said that would be fabulous so this is the last cycle of the hard stuff then it will just be lighter chemo doses for good measure. I still will do the 12 cycles then I get a two month break so no chemo during Nov Dec. This cycle still getting the weird nerve shit but when we quit the oxilaplatin that should all go away. I still will keep the pump with FU5 but was informed yesterday that all the VA assistance the clowns on the hill promised may come to an end. Based on the call I had yesterday you have to call some chioce office and they will either approve or not approve coverage that the VA doesn't have like my pump and PET scans. We will see by the time I need tye PET scan it will be a new fiscal year for the Gov't. That a whole new ball of worms n will cross that when we get to it. Once again thank you all for the support it helps very much while strapped in w the big infusion pumps just buzz into KTC and get my dose of spinach and press on!
Trauma
817

5:12 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #592

From: ChristopherJ

Glad to hear about the continued progress Trauma. I hope the VA insurance coverage cluster gets worked out so you don't have to worry about that while fighting the cancer. Proud to be quit with you. CJ

6:20 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #593

From: jimthins

Damn proud of you Trauma. You're one of the strongest people I know. Keep it up. We'll be right here beside you.

6:51 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #594

From: B-loMatt

Keep winning the fight brother. Kick cancer to the curb just like the nic bitch; they deserve each other...

[traumagnet]

12:56 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #591
Talked to my oncologist yesterday all labs look good. He said that 5 cycles of the heavy duty shit was good I told him I could do one more cycle of the heavy shit and he said that would be fabulous so this is the last cycle of the hard stuff then it will just be lighter chemo doses for good measure. I still will do the 12 cycles then I get a two month break so no chemo during Nov Dec. This cycle still getting the weird nerve shit but when we quit the oxilaplatin that should all go away. I still will keep the pump with FU5 but was informed yesterday that all the VA assistance the clowns on the hill promised may come to an end. Based on the call I had yesterday you have to call some chioce office and they will either approve or not approve coverage that the VA doesn't have like my pump and PET scans. We will see by the time I need tye PET scan it will be a new fiscal year for the Gov't. That a whole new ball of worms n will cross that when we get to it. Once again thank you all for the support it helps very much while strapped in w the big infusion pumps just buzz into KTC and get my dose of spinach and press on!
Trauma
817

5:12 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #592

From: ChristopherJ

Glad to hear about the continued progress Trauma. I hope the VA insurance coverage cluster gets worked out so you don't have to worry about that while fighting the cancer. Proud to be quit with you. CJ

6:20 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #593

From: jimthins

Damn proud of you Trauma. You're one of the strongest people I know. Keep it up. We'll be right here beside you.

[traumagnet]

12:56 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #591
Talked to my oncologist yesterday all labs look good. He said that 5 cycles of the heavy duty shit was good I told him I could do one more cycle of the heavy shit and he said that would be fabulous so this is the last cycle of the hard stuff then it will just be lighter chemo doses for good measure. I still will do the 12 cycles then I get a two month break so no chemo during Nov Dec. This cycle still getting the weird nerve shit but when we quit the oxilaplatin that should all go away. I still will keep the pump with FU5 but was informed yesterday that all the VA assistance the clowns on the hill promised may come to an end. Based on the call I had yesterday you have to call some chioce office and they will either approve or not approve coverage that the VA doesn't have like my pump and PET scans. We will see by the time I need tye PET scan it will be a new fiscal year for the Gov't. That a whole new ball of worms n will cross that when we get to it. Once again thank you all for the support it helps very much while strapped in w the big infusion pumps just buzz into KTC and get my dose of spinach and press on!
Trauma
817

5:12 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #592

From: ChristopherJ

Glad to hear about the continued progress Trauma. I hope the VA insurance coverage cluster gets worked out so you don't have to worry about that while fighting the cancer. Proud to be quit with you. CJ

[traumagnet]

12:56 AM - Jul 11, 2015 #591
Talked to my oncologist yesterday all labs look good. He said that 5 cycles of the heavy duty shit was good I told him I could do one more cycle of the heavy shit and he said that would be fabulous so this is the last cycle of the hard stuff then it will just be lighter chemo doses for good measure. I still will do the 12 cycles then I get a two month break so no chemo during Nov Dec. This cycle still getting the weird nerve shit but when we quit the oxilaplatin that should all go away. I still will keep the pump with FU5 but was informed yesterday that all the VA assistance the clowns on the hill promised may come to an end. Based on the call I had yesterday you have to call some chioce office and they will either approve or not approve coverage that the VA doesn't have like my pump and PET scans. We will see by the time I need tye PET scan it will be a new fiscal year for the Gov't. That a whole new ball of worms n will cross that when we get to it. Once again thank you all for the support it helps very much while strapped in w the big infusion pumps just buzz into KTC and get my dose of spinach and press on!
Trauma
817

[traumagnet]

2:36 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #584

Round 6 tomorrow halfway point after that all small numbers...

3:33 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #585

Nice job dude! Small numbers and getting smaller!

5:08 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #586

From: Pinched

Awesome Todd, keep kicking ass daily brother!

5:29 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #587

From: Nolaq

Gets some, Todd!

5:52 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #589

From: jimthins

Way to go Trauma. Keep up the fight. We're right here for ya!

7:06 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #590

From: Pab1964

Fight on trauma! Prayers to you and yours!

[traumagnet]

2:36 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #584

Round 6 tomorrow halfway point after that all small numbers...

3:33 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #585

Nice job dude! Small numbers and getting smaller!

5:08 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #586

From: Pinched

Awesome Todd, keep kicking ass daily brother!

5:29 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #587

From: Nolaq

Gets some, Todd!

5:52 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #589

From: jimthins

Way to go Trauma. Keep up the fight. We're right here for ya!

[traumagnet]

2:36 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #584

Round 6 tomorrow halfway point after that all small numbers...

3:33 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #585

Nice job dude! Small numbers and getting smaller!

5:08 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #586

From: Pinched

Awesome Todd, keep kicking ass daily brother!

5:29 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #587

From: Nolaq

Gets some, Todd!

[traumagnet]

2:36 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #584

Round 6 tomorrow halfway point after that all small numbers...

3:33 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #585

Nice job dude! Small numbers and getting smaller!

5:08 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #586

From: Pinched

Awesome Todd, keep kicking ass daily brother!

[traumagnet]

2:36 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #584

Round 6 tomorrow halfway point after that all small numbers...

3:33 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #585

Nice job dude! Small numbers and getting smaller!

[traumagnet]

2:36 AM - Jul 09, 2015 #584

Round 6 tomorrow halfway point after that all small numbers...

[traumagnet]

6:35 AM - Jul 02, 2015 #581

From: Hogan

Trauma,
I am newer to this site and I just spent all morning reading your story. Inspiring, I admire your quit and I admire even more your tenacity that you are taking to your current enemy. Prayers and well wishes as you continue to beat this thing.

Hogan

5:46 AM - Jul 03, 2015 #583

I am humbled that you took the time to read my thread. This journey is not much different than any other journey on here. You get here you meet people dedicated to saving your life you commit and give your promise for today only that you will not use. Get up tomorrow and repeat. Some of the greatest people you will meet will be right here. Hogan keep sticking it to big tobacco and help others to do the same.