May 13, 2016
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/qs_xtreme/quit4good-again-t11076.htmlHi folks
I've been dipping Since I was 14. I turned 50 last week. In the last 30 years I've quit for 8 or 9 months maybe 10 or 11 times. It seems like When I get 8 or 9 months down the road I get sidelined by a really strong craving out of nowhere. It's my hopes that maybe here I can learn from some others who've had the same experience and learned how to handle those cravings.
This may be too much material for most to want to read, I started writing this for my own sake, then decided to post it anyway.
I started dipping when I was 14. Someone had told me that it was as addictive as cigarettes and I can still vividly remember that day and where I was at, thinking, “at the 1st sign that I’m becoming addicted to this stuff, I’ll quit!” What I wouldn’t give if I could turn back time and tell that 14 year old what I’ve learned. If I could change 1 thing in life, experimenting with tobacco is at the top of the list. Over the last 36 years I’ve tried to quit hundreds of times, most of those attempts lasted only a week or less.
My reason for quitting is because while I’m dipping, 95 percent of the time or more I wasn’t dipping because I enjoyed it. For me, the nicotine buzz just isn’t there anymore, most of the time. It’s usually inconvenient to be dipping but I’m dipping to avoid the feelings of withdrawal. When I did enjoy it, it was usually a very small percentage of the time.
And that’s been my reason for quitting. Oddly, when I quit, it’s as if my brain starts to lie to me and I remember dipping as being one of the most enjoyable things I used to do throughout the day. I begin to think, “Why did I quit the only thing in life that brought me enjoyment.” At the time, I know that statement is wrong on so many levels, but it feels true during the withdrawal period and months later during periods of cravings. To fight that thought I’ve compiled a list of reasons I don’t enjoy dipping, and I why I originally chose to quit:
- •talking around a mouthful of spit,
•always having to be within arm’s reach of a spit cup,
•Spit cups all around the house
•Bad breath and worrying about tobacco in my teeth when I smile
•hiding it from people I work with,
•experiencing withdrawal at work cause I’m around people I can’t dip in front of
•being angry and short tempered because I haven’t had a dip in the last couple of hours
•5 dollars a can for a 1 can a day habit
•having to make that last minute run to the store before bedtime so I’ll be able to have that first dip in the morning before work
•looking forward to friends and family visiting, but 2 hours later thinking, "When are these people going leave!" So I can get my nicotine fix and put out the fire of withdrawal.
I’ve quit/stopped several times (made it through the withdrawal and on to 6 to 9 months) on my own over the last 30 years. The 1st few times I quit I can remember thinking, “If I can just make it through this withdrawal phase, I will never take another dip.” Every time I’ve been able to quit for 6 to 9 months I starting feeling really good about not being chained to the can. Getting to the point where I’ve gone a whole week without thinking about nicotine or the fact that I’m trying to quit nicotine is an incredible feeling of freedom.
But also around this 6 to 9 month period after feeling so good about being free from the ball and chain of the Can, sometimes as little as hours later, my mood can swing the opposite direction and I begin to feel very depressed and in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “Why did I quit the only thing that brings enjoyment in my life”. As I’ve said, I know it’s wrong on so many levels, but it feels true. Usually this will hit me in the evening after work and will go on for a couple of days. It’s like my brain lies to me. I remember dipping as being a so much more enjoyable than it was. After feeling this way 2 or 3 days in a row, I’ve always thrown in the towel on my quit. All the while, my brain has been reminding me of how wonderful it used to be dipping. And every time I take that 1st dip I think, “That's it?!?! I threw months of freedom away for this?” It’s never as good as I remember it. But with just one dip I’m hooked all over again.
So that’s what brings me to this community. I’ve tasted freedom and I like it 8 or 9 times over the last 30 years. But I don’t have a game plan to make it through that 6 to 9 month wall. It’s my hopes that KTC can help make this quit my last one.
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/qs_xtreme/quit4good-again-t11076.html
