SRains918

[SRains918]

1/19/18 @ 11:43

Day 113

Whelp, I'm a dumbass.

No, I didn't cave...

I ignored myself. I ignored one of the things I constantly say and try to remind people. I forgot something I wrote in my fucking HOF speech (posted above so I can find it easily) a week or so ago.

One thing I learned early in my quit is that I'm not special, and neither are you. I spent a LOT of time that first week (and since) pouring through the info here on KTC, particularly the what to expect stuff found here and here. Anyone that says they don't go through those things at roughly the same times is full of crap. The DEGREE to which you experience it may vary, but you will go through it.

Welcome to my post-HOF funk!!! It's real folks...

The last few days I've wondered to varying degrees why the hell I'm still here and posting like I do.

Roll? Yeah, I'm going to keep doing that. I know it's important.
Support? Yeah, I'll keep posting below the line in the 2018 groups. I know that's important too.
Beyond that? No thanks. I'm done. Done with the drama. Done with watching everyone fog and rage and post ridiculous crap and fight over stupid shit. DONE!!!

Bullshit. That's what that is. It's the nic bitch picking at a small chink in my quit armor. It's that post-HOF fog that everyone (else???) goes through (but surely not ME)!!! Fuck that. That's bullshit.

I'm not through it yet. I'm still in the middle of it. I don't want to forget it though, so here I am in my intro posting about it. I recognize it so that must be good, right?

I WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOO!!!

[SRains918]

1/19/18 @ 11:22

My HOF Speech

I'm Steve, and my last dip was Friday 9/29/17. I have been nicotine free since.

I have been dipping for far longer than I care to admit (30 out of the last 31 years). I quit for over a year 8 years ago, but caved. If I had known about this site and had these kinds of resources I think I would have been able to get the help I needed then to stay quit. I'm glad that I've found it now and will be on here daily checking in, encouraging others, and looking for help when I need it. I have been trying to read and research through the fog and the moods and the lack of focus over the past couple days and have already found incredible stories and have seen how supportive everyone is of each other. It's amazing how dead accurate the list of symptoms is for me so far, and I appreciate that as a resource to know what to expect in the future.

I joined my quit group and added my name to roll call. Thank you to everyone that has encouraged me so far!!!

Today has been my best day so far, but I can feel the "fog" rolling in. Hopefully it didn't cause me to ramble too much!


With that simple intro post I showed up here at KTC like most everyone else before me. A FAILURE and an ADDICT.

What? Does that sound harsh? I had tried to quit repeatedly over the course of those 31 years and had FAILED. I stopped for a year and a half or so (notice the word "stopped" instead of "quit" or "Quit", there is a difference) during that time (pre-KTC) and had CAVED (a word I didn't know at the time) and FAILED. As Quitters go, I was a FAILURE. Let's be honest, everyone that posts a Day 1 here has been a FAILURE at QUITTING. So, what's different for me now??? KTC.

When I first showed up on the KTC scene, I had a number of "vets" reach out to me. I'm gonna kick myself in the ass if I miss any, but INKcogKNEEdough, FISHFLORIDA, and JeffW were the first three to welcome me. I didn't know it at the time (how could I???) but those are some badass quitters to have welcome you to the site!!! They all sent me their digits, I sent them mine. We started texting a little. They made me promise to send my day # every day in addition to posting roll. Fish made me promise to do it every single day until I made HOF (and still won't let me stop now that I'm here). I have texted all three of them (whether they wanted it or not) every day since. Scratch that, I think I may have missed one or two days out of those first hundred, but I have NEVER missed a roll post.

One thing I learned early in my quit is that I'm not special, and neither are you. I spent a LOT of time that first week (and since) pouring through the info here on KTC, particularly the what to expect stuff found here and here. Anyone that says they don't go through those things at roughly the same times is full of crap. The DEGREE to which you experience it may vary, but you will go through it. Why does that matter? Because KTC separates Quitters by Quit date into Quit groups so that our brothers and sisters are experiencing the same things we are, at around the same times, so we can support each other and help each other through it. We rage together. We fog together. We funk together. We hit HOF together. We bond over this addiction and what it takes to Quit it.

I am a proud card carrying member of the January '18 F.U.R.Y., and if you don't know what that is (or it doesn't scare the ever loving crap out of you) I very, VERY highly suggest catching up with us here. These crazy bad ass quitters have been by my side from the day I got here and there is no way I'd be writing this speech if it hadn't been for them. Everyone thinks their own particular group is the best. I know mine is. I exchanged digits with as many of them as I could (not quite all, but most). JTL and Donewithit share my quit date and we hit HOF together. A few more "vets" reached out and I reached out to them and others. My daily text list grew to over 45 people. I don't send group texts so it takes a minute or two every morning, but it gives me that much more accountability. My Quit is that much stronger. I watched my brothers and sisters rage (because I never did myself), watched our group expand and contract as people joined and people caved, and formed bonds I never knew possible with a bunch of "internet strangers" all because of our addiction to this horrible bitch called nicotine. I turned as many of these people as I could into "text friends" and "online friends" rather than "internet strangers". Ultimately I was able to even meet up with one (Montovon) when he was on my turf for business.

Of all of my F.U.R.Y. brothers and sisters I have to admit I'm probably closest to CNC, Dog, Probe, Brick, and Kyle. These five guys have caught all of my crap almost since the beginning, and I'm here for theirs. I very honestly owe a LOT of my Quit to them. Why? Because they are not internet strangers to me, they are brothers. I know that if I am struggling, they are going to be there to kick me in the ass and keep me Quit. How do I know that? They've proven it! I was headed to work one morning (and hadn't posted or texted anyone yet - shame, shame) and needed gas. Right about the time I was pulling in I had a HUGE crave, so I sent them all texts. Before I stopped at the pump 3 or 4 of the 5 had replied, at 5:00am or so my time (so around 7:00am their time). "Be strong", "You've got this", I honestly don't remember exactly what was said but it was along those lines. Crisis averted. Quit saved. Every single one of them replied, some faster than others.

If I can offer one single piece of advice to new quitters it's this: Reach out. Send your contact information to as many people as you can, both in your group as well as outside of it. PM me, I'll give you mine. Don't stop there though. That's not good enough. Text them. Make it a point to call them at least a couple of times here and there. Meet them if you possibly can. Why? Because posting roll isn't always enough. Because texting someone here and there isn't always enough. If you can turn people into friends the same way that I have you simply CANNOT fail to QUIT. They won't let you.

I posted this story into my intro a while back. I re-read it periodically because I think it demonstrates the difference between KTC and most other things I've tried in the past.

An addict fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The addict called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him to buy a ladder, but the addict could not find a ladder in this hole he was in. A doctor walked by. The addict said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him some drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The addict said thanks, but when the pills ran out he was still in the hole. A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the addict's cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get in there? Were you born there? Did your parents put you there? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the addict talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The addict thanked him, but was still in his hole. A priest came by and heard the addict calling for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said, "I'll pray for you." The priest got down on his knees and prayed for the addict, then left. The addict was very grateful and he read the whole Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole. A recovering addict happened to be passing by. The addict cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering addict jumped in the hole with him. The addict said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here!" But the recovering addict said, "It's okay. I've been here before. I know the way out."
- Anonymous

I am a recovering addict. I will never be cured. 100 days is freaking awesome and I'm proud of it, but my journey isn't over. I promise you this: If you drink the KTC Kool-Aid, if you do everything you can to listen and learn and turn these random internet strangers into your friends, you will not fail. You will Quit. You will be QUIT. If you don't have enough people down in the hole with you, reach out to me. I'll jump in. I know the way out, or at least the beginning of the path. We'll figure out the rest together.

SRains918 (Steve)
Proud Member of the January '18 F.U.R.Y.
106 Days Quit And Counting (As of writing this)

[SRains918]

12/11/17 @ 07:47

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Episode VII.V - FUCS and the F.U.R.Y.

Written by Coach Steve, Title by SRains

{FUCS and RWB are scouting the FURY Compound when they hear a rustling in the bushes behind them}

RWB: {turning around} What the hell was that?
FUCS: I have no idea, probably just another tweaked out new quitter
{Just then, Enough emerges from the bushes}
Enough: Hey guys
FUCS: Dammit Enough, you scared the shit out of me!
Enough: Sorry Coach
RWB: Hey I thought you weren't allowed to enter the 2018 Pre-HOF groups?
Enough: Yeah...I thought about what you guys were talking about in the car and decided I couldn't leave you hanging. Plus it seemed like Coach was under the impression I was still a part of Nov 09 instead of Oct 17
FUCS: {perplexed}Wait....what? I'm fake news?
Enough: Yeah...
RWB: Alright let's get back to the plan
FUCS: What is the plan?
RWB: I thought you had the plan?
FUCS: Me? Why would you think that? You're the one that dragged me out here
RWB: Well it's your narrative Coach, therefore it's your plan
{Just then, the power goes out in the FURY Compound and the quitters notice a commotion at the front entrance. Apparently Probe has been laid out by someone with a large rock and Srains, JTL and Dog are standing around laughing at him}
FUCS: Is Srains drinking a canned White Russian?
RWB: {gagging}I think I just threw up in my mouth
Enough: Alright guys...this is our chance
FUCS: Chance for what?
Enough: To get into the Compound...
RWB: How exactly do you plan on doing that?
Enough: I gave a few of the FURY quitters a KUBER ride one night after they'd been out drinking canned White Russians
RWB: And....
Enough: And...they were taking about CNC and how he rules the FURY Compound with an iron fist and keeps dying then reincarnating to make everyone afraid of him
FUCS: Are you talking about Jim?
RWB: {confused} Wait...who is Jim?
FUCS: CNC is Jim, and he's harmless
RWB: He certainly doesn't look harmless
FUCS: Look..once you get past the gruff exterior, he's a gentle soul longing to be accepted
RWB: So what does this have to do with getting into the Compound?
Enough: {rolling his eyes} I've had Enough! If Mr. Narrative over here would quit interrupting me I could finish!
FUCS: {snickering} Have you...had "enough"
Enough: Dammit Coach...
FUCS: Sorry, sorry, please continue
Enough: As I was saying...these drunken FURY quitters basically gave me the keys to the front door
RWB: Is that a euphemism?
Enough: {pulling something out of his pocket} Nope...they literally gave me the keys to the Compound!
FUCS: {rubbing his hands together} Oooohhh...this will be masterful!
{Just then, the quitters hear a "ding"}
RWB: What was that?
FUCS: I think I have a PM..hold on a minute {checks his PMs}
RWB: Who is it Coach?
FUCS: It appears to be from CNC...something about me planning a covert attack on the Compound
Enough: Oh god! He's know we're here {turns to run}
RWB: {grabbing Enough's shirt} Hold on there pal...we need those keys
Enough: Ok..you're right, can I leave know?
FUCS: Nope...we need you to waltz in the front door
Enough: You need me to do what?
FUCS: You heard me...the plan is becoming clear
{The quitters huddle up as FUCS discusses "The Plan"}
{Cut scene to inside the FURY Compound kitchen. Probe, JTL, and Srains are enjoying scallops and canned White Russians}
Probe: Who's idea was it to drink canned White Russians?
JTL: {chugging the last bit and gagging} I believe that would be me
Srains: I dunno guys, I kinda like them
JTL: You would...
Srains: What's that supposed to mean?
JTL: {standing up out of his chair}You heard me Sally!
Probe: {still woosy from taking a rock to the head earlier} Guys..guys...no need to turn against one another
{Just then, Rob W walks into the kitchen with his head phones on, doesn't say a word, pops some popcorn, and walks back to his room}
Srains: Ok...that was weird
Probe: Speaking of weird...where in the hell is CNC?
JTL: {sitting back down}I haven't seen him for awhile...I gotta be honest guys, these last few days have been weird. It's almost as though we have competing narratives that don't seem to follow any defined chronology
{Just then, Dog walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge}
Dog: Can any of you rootin tootin rascals tell me why we only have canned White Russians to drink around here? What I wouldn't give for a Bud about now!
JTL: Like I was saying...we're sitting here trying to figure out what happened to CNC and then Dog walks in, starts talking like a cartoon and we have a fridge full of canned White Russians and scallops...what in the actual fuck is going on here?
{Just then, the power goes out...}
JTL: {turning on his phone flashlight}You see..this is the crap I'm talking about
Probe: To be fair...I think the power goes out in your version of events..
JTL :Oh...right...well it's still weird
Dog: Hah! It's not weird when it's *your* dog...get it...your dog?
Srains: Yeah...we get it. I'm going to check the breaker panel in the basement
{Srains walks down he basement stairs, being sure to avoid the nails placed there by CNC to deter invaders. As he reaches the bottom of the stairs, he feels the hair stand up on the back of his neck}
Srains: Is somebody there....hello?
{Srains looks around and makes his way towards the breaker panel. He opens the panel and reaches for the breaker when he feels cold steel being pressed to the back of his neck}
Voice: Don't move an inch?
Srains: {raising his hands in the air} Colonel...is that you?
CNC: Yes...and I'm not going to let you ruin this for me
Srains: Ruin what?
CNC: That dastardly Coach Steve...he's going to rue the day he messed with me!
{CNC proceeds to knock Srains out with a chlorophyll rag and drags his body behind the dehumidifier}
CNC: {patting Srains on the chest} Sorry old pal...but this needs to happen
RWB: {cocking a shotgun and pointing it at the back of CNC's head} What needs to happen?
CNC: You're making a big mistake
RWB: Am I?
CNC: Yes...do you know how much of a sanctimonious prick I am?
RWB: I hear that's what you call yourself...I've heard differently from Coach
CNC: What does he know?
RWB: Apparently a lot...Jim
CNC: What did you just call me?
{Just then, JTL comes down the stairs with his phone flashlight}
JTL: Um...what the hell are you guys doing?
{CNC takes advantage of the distraction and turns to grab the shotgun from RWB and knock him out with the butt of the gun}
JTL: {stunned} Why'd you do that?
CNC: He was going to ruin the entire narrative!
JTL: What narrative?
CNC: My narrative! I know FUCS is waiting for me in the back seat of my SUV, he just doesn't know that I know that
JTL: Wait...I'm confused...so FUCS is inserting himself into *your* narrative?
CNC: Why wouldn't he?
JTL: I dunno...maybe he's not that stupid. Hold up...would you say you were trying to set up a *booby* trap for Coach?
Probe: {yelling from upstairs} What's the deal with the breaker panel? The canned White Russians are getting warm!
CNC: But he *is* that stupid and he loves booby traps!
JTL: {snickering} You said booby!
CNC: Dammit!
{Just then FUCS emerges from the shadows}
FUCS: Hello Jim...
CNC: Oh for fucks sake. Um...Coach..why aren't you wearing any pants?
FUCS: Let's not worry about the pants right now. Did you really think I would be waiting for you in the back of your Honda CRV?
CNC: Well...I just...it made the most sense
FUCS: Did it make sense? Especially given my inferior understanding of how to make an AR-15 fully automatic?
CNC: You have a point
JTL: {with a handful of frozen scallops and canned White Russians} Are you guys still talking?
FUCS: You mind if I get one of those Russians?
JTL: {tossing FUCS a can} Sure thing...Trump loves those things you know...
FUCS: {cracking open the can} Did you just....
JTL: Yeah I think I did
FUCS: {taking a sip and gagging} Oh my god...how do you guys drink this crap?
Dog: {from upstairs} That's what the shit I'm talking about!
CNC: So...what do we do now?
FUCS: {shrugging his shoulders} How about building a giant bonfire in front of the Catalina Wine Mixer house?
JTL: I'm down
CNC: Me too

{I'm not sure I can continue this absurdity, and definitely can't follow Probe's f-ed up storyline}

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Episode VIII - Pre-BBQ Reflections

Written by CNC

Episode VIII - Pre-BBQ Reflections

All of the brothers of FURY are sitting around a bonfire and enjoying a nice quiet night for a change... before the long anticipated BBQ.

Some guys are drinking their favorite beers, and some are choking down the canned White Russians that JTL continues to stock in the fridge.

Oddly enough, its a silent night.  No one is shooting off their guns... nor shooting off their mouths.

What appears to have been the core crew huddles close around the fire.  

The Veteran surveillance cameras capture Q-Dog, Srains, Probe, and the Colonel doing as expected... sitting close to each other, and discussing important matters in low tones.

JTL and Monk are hovering not far away... pretending to enjoy each other's company, but keeping a close ear on what the "core crew" is saying.

"Hey Monk," JTL whispers.  "Did you ever suspect these guys were the Council?"

All Monk does is giggle and incomprehensibly roll his eyes as he continues to fiddle with a lighter while sitting atop the bonfire pile for the upcoming BBQ.

JTL realizing that he is talking to an idiot, tries to extract himself from the situation... unsuccessfully though.

Monk just then explodes with excitement as Josh tries to extricate himself, "I hate you Josh... but I think you are the sexiest guy in THE FURY!!!"

Uncharacteristic of JTL (well kind of), he strips off all of his clothes and runs away... waving and screaming "I love you too Monk but I have something better to do.  So, bye bye sweety!!!"  Josh goes from a run to a sprint as he rounds the corner, screaming down the road, "I AM QUIT, I AM QUIT!!!"

Meanwhile, back at the bonfire, "just what the fuck was that?" Srains asks as he glances left and right.

"Fuck it... I don't care, its probably that kid whose name I never remember, Carry on." Probe answers as he rolls his eyes, returning to poking at the burning embers... growling with satisfaction.

"Gentlemen, I have kind of a deep question to ask... do you mind" asks the Colonel as he casually returns his favorite pistol into its nicely oiled leather holster.

"Go ahead Colonel, the only bad things are those that you do not share with us..." states Q-Dog, referencing some awesome intellectual Icon of recovery science.

"Yeah go ahead Colonel, we've been thru hell and back... no sense holding back now," agrees Srains.

"Fucking-A sir, lets get it all on the damn table.  Carry On" adds Probe.

Feeling that the time was right, the Colonel notices some of the FURY brother standing at the sidelines... as if they did not feel invited.  He waves them all over.

Guys like Kyle, Brick, JTL, Monk, Chief,  and JP approach the fire... its no mistake that these guys also happened to be the few that conversed with the Colonel during his most difficult days

Hell, most (not all) even fought alongside the FURY Council back in the day.

The Colonel sighs as if he has a very difficult item to share, "Well guys, I know you have been thru hell... and many of you are still going thru some FUNK and RAGE."

"I have brought an awful lot of this violence and combat into our neighborhood... because I have so SO many enemies.  They will never completely leave me alone... leave US alone."

As the fire grows larger, the glow strikes each of their faces in their individual and unique ways... highlighting the sincerity of the moment.

The Colonel then unknowingly and instinctively pulls Phred (his favorite nickel plated .357 revolver) from its leather shoulder holster and just waves it like a baton.  

"Hell, I don't know why I keep getting resurrected... nor why everyone still wants to kill me... but, here I am" the Colonel finishes while spinning his pistol like an old west gunfighter.

CNC then tries to wrap things up... "not sure why Coach Steve denies the reality of what is happening around here... RWB did in fact kill me that night... and FUCS was in fact there."

"Anyway guys, I will support all of you... and fight like we always have.  FUCS is up to something... on some kind of mission..." the Colonel suggests with absolute certainty.

Lowering his head in deep thought, the Colonel then raises a finger... "but its up to you guys... it always has been."

Without hesitation, the Colonel finishes his remarks by using Phred to shoot a smiley face into the side of February's house... unsatisfied, he reloads and pitches his empty Miller Lite can into the air... putting 4 rounds into it before it lands into the garbage can.

"Gentlemen, don't we have a Barbecue coming up?"

TO BE CONTINUED...


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Episode IX - No BBQ... just another Roasting

Written by CNC

The FURY, having been threw a crap load of drama over their first 2 months, have yet again endured another assault... a real fucking mess too.  The house is left dirty as sin, and the yards have been destroyed by invading Vets... driving their Prius's all over the lawn trying to bust into the perimeter.  Fortunately the collective defenses held, and many a wrecked hybrid car is abandoned at the curb.  But still, the FURY is left wondering why they remain the "ground zero" of the new KTC Chase Development... all while trying to plan the BBQ with their neighbors.

"Holy shit guys, I try to gather supplies for our BBQ and come back to a wholesale slaughter?" the Colonel exclaims.  "I mean, seriously guys, couldn't it have waited until I got back?"

The Colonel points at all the carnage around the January property.  Smoldering Toyota Pri-i along every curb, bodies of Veterans scattered about the lawn, and bullet holes everywhere... even a few select Vet heads freshly spiked near the front door.  Looks of disdain locked on their faces, frozen in time thru their grizzly deaths.

"No way Colonel... this had to be done," chimes in Srains.  "Besides, they deserved it..."

"Fucking A Colonel, from the start we had to do this..." exclaims Probe.  "Besides, without you around to draw fire, it was absolutely necessary that we fight them on our own terms.  Carry on!"

The Colonel continues to walk the battlefield... trying his best to conceal his smiles of satisfaction.  

Out of nowhere a handful of visitors round the corner... the Colonel instinctively grabs for his sidearm, while at the same time realizing that its only his crazy neighbors.

Doc, Josh, Lumber, and Dizy saunter onto the FURY property... apparently uninvited.  

As Doc is staring down the barrel of the Colonel's nickel plated .357, he speaks up... but uncharacteristically calm this time.  "Look CNC, we've been here before, remember?"

"Uh, yeah... I do" the Colonel stammers.

"Come on man, we all have some serious shit going on too... you know?"  Lumber offers with a look of absolute sincerity.  

The Colonel squints at the intrusion and supposed offerings.

"Damnit Colonel, we aren't your enemies..." Josh the Lineman spouts off.

The Colonel still cannot re-holster his favored weapon, but uncontrollably blinks... trying to get his bearings.  Unsure what "friends" are anymore.

"Look man, the Catalina Wine Mixers are here for you," says Doc.  

"Sure we think your house is whacked out... but we are always right here for you guys," adds Lumberguy.  "But shit Colonel, look at March."

Josh the Lineman cautiously steps forward, towards the Colonel... leery of the large caliber handgun directed at him and his brothers... "look man, we are okay here..."

"Yeah Colonel, you and the FURY ought to look at your other neighbor..." interrupts Doc.

In unison, the Wine Mixers exclaim... "FURY, you need to watch out for the March Madness... there are some trouble makers in there."

"Really?" answers the Colonel.

"I think we have something to say about that shit," Probe exclaims with total satisfaction and anticipation.  "I think I have something to add for a change.  Carry on."

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Episode X - The Colonel meets Q-Dog (The Retrospective)

Written by CNC

Once upon a time, these quitters did not know each other.  Yet, at some point... some how... some where... they came together and built a team.

During those early days, Dogonhunt was hammering away at folks... doing his best to sell his story.  Telling the tail of addiction recovery... yet, no one was listening...

This guy was top notch... only the biggest idiots would ignore him.  And plenty of them were turning a blind eye.

Well, along came the biggest PRICK in all of KTC history... The Colonel.

History is not 100% accurate in its recounting, but what is obvious and clear... somehow the connection happened.

"Hey Q-Dog, I see what you are gunning for... I love it..." the Colonel offered.

DogOnHunt, unsure of this tainted jackass decided to reply... he took a chance.

"Colonel, I see what you are going thru..." Mr Dog shares.  "What is your deal?"

The Colonel sees an opening... a chance to help a Brother.  "Q-Dog, I have some history here... its not good, I am poison around here, but I believe in you... you can do this."

Hesitantly Dog speaks up... "Colonel, I am not sure about you... if you are quit though, I will quit with you."

SO ENDETH THE RECOLLECTION.

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EPISODE XI - CNC meets Probe (The Retrospective)

Written by CNC

These two really just bumped into each other... nothing was meant to be, just a clear case of FATE!  
It all pretty much boils down to this... they have a shared military history... AND a "fuck you" type mentality.

"Hey Probe, this is the Colonel... can you talk?"  the Colonel asks during their first phone call.

Probe, true to form, really doesn't give a shit about who he is talking to.

"Hello?" the Colonel repeats?

"Yeah what do you want?" Probe asks, still unsure who he is talking to.

Colonel No Cope persists, "Hey Probe, I know you are military, and I respect that... I need someone like you to understand what I am saying... are you game?"

Probe delays in answering for quite some time... but eventually chimes in.

"Okay you serial caving fucker... what do you want from me?" Probe asks.

Undaunted, the Colonel knows exactly what he needs to say...

"Fuck all that shit Probe... you damn well know we have bigger fish to fry... bigger battles to fight" blasts out the Colonel.

Probe remains silent for quite some time... and the Colonel can here it over the phone.  

"Well brother whether you like it or not... I am here for you... fuck the Vets..." states the Colonel.

Probe sits back in his chair and considers the Colonel's offerings.

No one on KTC has done this before to his knowledge... Probe, the brutal fucker that he is, signs up.

Muttering under his breath, "fuck all of you".

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Episode XII: The Aftermath

Written by CNC

Before reading this story, I would like to send out my prayers to Jesse and his wife.  I sincerely hope everything gets back to normal for you and remains that way.

A number of weeks have passed since we last heard about our friends in January… the house that FURY built.  Back when they were actively preparing for the mega-BBQ event with their friends in February.
Now, tumbleweed bounces across the cratered lawn passed a massive pile of bonfire wood which goes untended… and unburned.  Where a casual passerby only notices the wrecked and torched out Priusi around the property and accompanied by thousands of bullet casings of varying calibers.  The dead bodies and spiked heads have since rotted beyond recognition and remain only as a reminder of what had once occurred here.
The house remains occupied however… by number of the original FURY of legend.  Nowadays, the property is more like one of those rundown places where grumpy old men shoo away salesmen by waving shotguns or screaming at neighborhood kids to get off the lawn.  Something has indeed changed… and what follows is derived from what WKTC’s investigative reporters have uncovered.
---
It’s a very cold January day in KTC Chase as the members of the FURY go about their daily business quietly.  No action to speak of… very little talking.  Just the guys doing their own thing.  Probe keeping himself busy picking up recyclables; Kyle surfing fat chick porn; and Brick paging thru the latest issue of Bon Apetite magazine.  

Srains is pacing back and forth in the kitchen debating with himself between what he wants to cook for everyone or rehearsing his KTC Burrow 2018 Mayoral campaign speech.  So, he elects to multi-task and do both… much to the confusion of his FURY audience.

Outside, the sounds of the occasional up-armored Prius break the silence as the authorities continue to patrol the neighborhood… the drivers and gunners on constant guard, white knuckled and nervous.  Eager to get passed this block, yet vigilant enough to maintain “the peace” by whatever means they deem necessary.

Probe growls out a few choice insults as they roll passed him, then he dumps a bucket of beer cans into the mandatory KTC recycle bins, next to the recycled paper collectors, stacks of recycled cardboard, piles of bottles, and even a bucket for recycling human feces.  

“Waste not want not” being the logo stamped on the containers.

“What the fuck has happened around here,” he mumbles as he turns towards the perimeter gate… which has also fallen into disrepair.

Just then around the corner bounds JTL… “whats up Pops?  I just love these nice quiet days, don’t you?”

“Who are you again?” Probe snorts out.

“Yeah, I see that I already missed the KTC Courtesy Patrol… I try to wave and smile at them every time they…” but before JTL can finish his sentence, Probe swings the beer can bucket.  Catching JTL right alongside his head.

As his eyes are literally spinning in circles from the impact, JTL just rubs this head and whines, “OOOooowww, what was that for?”

“I fucking felt like it… now carry on.”  

About that time, a relatively new friend to our heroes comes onto the property… easily dodging the landmines and snickering at the spiked heads, stopping on occasion to point at one, “I knew that guy… what a douche too.  Yo Probe, whats up asshole?  Wanna go pick a fight?”

Probe looks over to see CanofBeans walking thru the wreckage and grimaces… “maybe, whatcha got in mind?”

“Well, I heard about this new guy down the road in April… I bet we could stir up some great shit over there,” he says with a devil-may-care grin and a wink.  Probe hesitates… then COB drops the clincher, “I hear that the Mods are gathering already and spouting all sorts of stuff.”

“I’m in, just let me grab a few things and let the others know about…” just then he is interrupted by the arrival of a what appears to be a Brinks armored car painted jet black with fully tinted windows.  The rig rumbles up to the curb in front of January and stops… engine then sputters into silence.  

With a quick glance up and down the street, COB notices a few Mod Priusi stationed in overwatch positions a couple houses down in each direction.  “Hang on Probe, I’ll let the rest of your brothers know… be right back,” he says then sprints into the house to grab everyone he can find.

Probe stands there gazing at the stationary security detail… thumbing the safety off of the concealed automatic in his pocket.

One by one, the FURY members cautiously join Probe in the driveway… Srains, Brick, Kyle, MattyB, TrainerJesse, and even TexasChief strolls out polishing what he calls his Liberal Re-education Tool… a bat wrapped with barbed wire.  JTL huddles nearby… squinting to see if he knows any of the visitors.

The silence is deafening.  The situation uncertain.

All that is clear, is that something unusual is about to happen.

Coming soon... Episode XIII: The Return of the Colonel...?

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Episode XIII: The Return of the Colonel… ?

Written by CNC

Screw it... so much new material, I already have enough for an episode XIV.  Might as well post this one.

When we left The FURY, they were gathered just outside the garage door of the January house.  Watching as a KTC security detail has stationed itself along the curb.  Silent with no movement or activity of any sort.  
-----------------------------
“What the fuck is this all about,” asks Chief.  

“I know I am relatively new compared to you guys, but have any of you ever seen anything like this before?” asks MattyB.

CanofBeans shakes his head slowly… uncertain.  “I have seen lots of shit around here… and heard a lot of stories, but this is fucking weird Mod shit right here.”  He clenches his firsts and cracks his neck to each side, “you guy had best be ready for anything.”

“Let them come get some… I don’t give a fuck” growls Probe, his steely eyes focused on the armored car before them.

“Hey guys, maybe if I just walk down there and see what they want?  Maybe I can help without any unnecessary…” Srains is drowned out as two black helicopters blast into view… hovering just above the Brinks truck… rotor wash blowing debris and recyclables everywhere.

“Damnit, I just organized that shit…” yells Probe over the sound of the prop blast.  “Fuck ‘em, they can clean it up themselves.”

Just then, the back doors of the rig swing open slowly and out climbs four mean in black leather, with sun glasses, and those black leather police hats… complete with studs and chains.

JTL lets slip an audible sigh of approval before Probe slaps him on the back of the head with a shush.

The lead helo, outfitted with a public address system, volume turned up to 11, broadcast the following announcement:
“Do not be alarmed.  We are your friends.  We have taken all the steps necessary to ensure your safety.  This is for your own good.  After receiving hundreds of rumors… et em… factual reports, we apprehended a few suspects for re-education.  Again, this was done for the safety of the community and to protect you from yourselves.  We are now returning one of them in as quietly and unceremoniously as possible to prevent any misguided accusations or further bloodshed.  Once we leave, we wish you all happy happy thoughts and shiny smiley days.  Thank you, now carry on.”

One of the leather clad security men then reaches into the truck and pulls out a sledgehammer and a 6’ steel rod and walks up to the FURY’s front lawn.  Stunned and confused, the group watches as he hammers the rod into the ground.  Another guard affixes a chain and collar to the end and returns to the back of the truck.

In unison, the four guards lean into the truck and remove a two-wheeled handcart, with what looks like a man strapped to it.  He appears to be wearing a filthy white straight jacket, and a leather muzzle strapped over his mouth… secured with a 2500 series government padlock.

They wheel the cart over to the yard, where they put the collar and chain onto the “prisoner”, securing it again, with a similar unbreakable padlock.  Once properly attached, three of them draw their cattle prods from their utility belts, while the fourth cautiously unstraps the figure from the cart and backs away.

The “the prisoner” then turns to look at each guard, then scans the group as they watch in stunned silence.

“Hey… hey guys, isn’t that the Colonel?” asks Brick.  “I would recognize those fucking eyes and his I’m-Gonna-Kill-You gaze from a million miles away.”

“Where the fuck has he been?” asks Kyle.

“Better yet… what the fuck have they done to him?” adds Srains.

The “Colonel” tests the chain, then sits down on the nearest pile of sandbags as he watches the security detail back out of the neighborhood, slowly and carefully.  Once the ground forces are out of range, the helos race out of FURYan airspace as quickly as they arrived blasting the LEGO Movie song “Everything is Awesome” over the PA on their way out.  Leaving nothing but deafened ears and confused looks.

“Now I’m pissed,” Probe hisses as he backhands JTL out of frustration… “this kind of explains a bad dream I had about the time of The Colonel’s disappearance.  I thought I was abducted and experimented on by a bunch of guys dressed like those jokers… all the while, I could not talk or fight back.  Very weird.”

Despite the seriousness of the events, everyone starts laughing hysterically.

“What!!!  What the fuck are you losers laughing at?” Probe looks around the group trying to figure it out.

Then COB chimes in on behalf of the crowd… “So, let me get this straight.  You were abducted by a bunch of gay looking guys, in tight black leather clothes, then ‘experimented’ on?  Were they by chance wearing ass-less chaps and singing YMCA?”

“FUCK YOU.  Who are you anyway,” Probe grunts, then walks back into the house to watch more Figure Skating.

“So guys, what do we do now?” asks Kyle.

“That’s a very good question, I need to make a few phone calls first,” says Srains as he reaches for his cell phone.  “One way or another, we’ll get to the bottom of this.”

Then an unfamiliar character pushes his way thru the crowd to the front.  “Hey guys, I’m Zyx… I just moved in and don’t know much about this neighborhood, but if you ask me, thats some pretty messed up stuff right there.”

“Damn right,” says Mr Persson… some call him Roger.  

Then as usual, JTL bounces back around the corner innocently enough.  “So, does anyone want to talk about their day?  Or about boobies?”

Coming soon - Episode XIV: Caged Like A "Dog"

[SRains918]

12/8/17 @ 06:59

I don't want to lose track of this, so I copied it here...  I'll try to keep this updated as people add to the story. If I miss anything, please text me and let me know (if you don't have my digits, they're just a PM away)!!!

As per RWBullet's suggestion I've started crediting the author within each section rather than here at the top.

Enjoy! I know I am...

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JANUARY FURY meets the FEBRUARY WINE MIXERS

Written by CNC

After an irritating day in the January house of FURY, the Colonel, Dog and Srains decide to slip away from Josh's incessant rambling.

They decide to visit their brothers over in February for a change... the house that has always been the most quiet neighbor in the entire development.  Then again, who could make enough noise next door to drown out the shit storms in January.

Upon arriving, they find the front door left wide open with no heightened security against riots or demonstrations, no sandbags to protect the sentries... nothing of the sort.  Hell, the door is still attached by the hinges and fully functional.

So, they just invite themselves in.  Once thru the door, they are overwhelmed by a nicely scented house, with very elegant decor.  

"You have got to be fucking kidding me", mutters the Colonel.

Q-Dog immediately starts inspecting the nice wooden furniture and hand-made knick-knacks throughout the foyer.

Srains walks confidently into the next room to find a handfull of February's quitters perched throughout the room, again on nicely crafted wood furniture, sipping delicately at their wine and wine spritzers.

"Greetings fellow quitters, and welcome to the Catalina Wine Mixer, glad to see you have finally come over for a visit," Doc excitedly announces as the visitors cautiously take in the scenery.

"Dog, you've got to get in here and check out this shit... and Colonel... well, you might want to close your eyes and ears," suggests Srains.

"Whoa man, these guys got this stuff down... I have to add this to my video collection" responds Q-Dog as he instantly decides to handle each piece of furniture, running his hands along each surface... fully impressed by the craftsmanship.  "I don't know Colonel, you might actually want to see this afterall."

Hesitantly, the Colonel rounds the corner still vigilant for boobie-traps or hidden weaponry, "what the fuck is this?"

Just then Lumberguy chimes in, "Hey Colonel grab a drink and take a seat with us, we are just about to watch another Will Ferrell movie... you interested?".

"Uhhhhhh," replies the Colonel, doing his best to take in the situation before him.  "You have no bullet holes in your walls?  No burn marks on your carpet or furniture?  No damn spent shell casings everywhere?"

"Thats right Colonel," says Josh605 as he carefully places his wine glass on the elegant coffee table in front of him so he can unlace his lineman boots.  "Pretty nice eh?"

Doc continues with the greetings, "thats right guys... we have a nice quiet house here, and we like it that way.  We didn't need all that rough stuff, we are just here in the neighborhood quitting like everyone else.  We love it here in KTC Chase... great place to settle in."

The Colonel stands motionless, gritting his teeth... still stunned that no one is shooting at him or chucking grenades back and forth.  "Just cry me a fucking river... how is this possible" he whispers under his breath.

Seeing what is happening, Q-Dog grabs the Colonel's arm and starts quiding him towards the front door.  "Hey CNC, this might be a bit much for you right now... lets go back to the FURY and have some target practice okay?  I'm sure we can find someone you can shoot at.  Sound good?"  

"Yeah, that sounds good Dog... but did you see this place?  Fuck me to tears already, I have never seen anything quite like it" the Colonel admits as he walks out of the February house shaking his head in disbelief, waving goodbye without looking over his shoulder.

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Srains conducts his usual diplomacy with the neighbors, "sorry about that guys... we've seen a lot of action over in January.  The Colonel was not intending to be rude... we all love your house.  Keep it up, and we will stop by again sometime... we might even drag Probe along next time."

To be continued...

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Part 2: Feb to F.U.R.Y.

Written by DrB

Several days later in the Catalina Wine Mixer house, the gentlemen are still talking excitedly about their recent visitors.

“Did you hear what they said? Bullet holes? Can you even IMAGINE?” Flyboy exclaimed.

“I know what you mean, brother. It sounds terrible - but yet I’m oddly excited by the thought. Perhaps we should pay them a visit?” suggested the Doc.

Just then Will Ferrel realized that Legos were meant to be played with, and the credits started rolling. The Mixers decided to brave the elements and see what really caused all the bangs and thumps from their neighbors’ house.

“Be sure to wear slip-on shoes, guys, so we can take them off easily when we enter their house!” advised Graham.

As they approached they house, bullets began ricocheting off the ground at their feet. “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” cried a voice through a bullhorn.

“We’re your neighbors in February. We came to say hi. We brought a bundt cake and some Yellow Tail!”

Just then the Colonel’s head flew out the window of the F.U.R.Y.’s house, followed several seconds later by his body.

Nervously, the Mixers proceeded past the sandbags, heads on spikes, and bulls with inexplicably torn anuses, to the front door. Multiple gunshots were heard, and amid the sound of shattering glass, the Colonel opened the door for them.

“Holy shit…” the Dr. said in awe, “I’m no doctor, but didn’t we just see your severed head go through a window?”

“FUCK YOU” replied the Colonel with a twinkle in his eye.

From the couch, Srains noticed the new visitors. Grudgingly, he moved the hooker’s corpse over to one side and, noticing some stray white powder, quickly scooped it up and inhaled it before standing up.

He picked up an Anvil and in one quick motion bashed the Colonel’s head in. While dismantling CNC’s corpse and soaking it in acid, he said “Don’t get us wrong, guys. We’re all really, genuinely nice people on our own. But in this house you won’t survive unless you have committed at least one felony by breakfast.”

“That’s right”, said the Colonel from behind them. The entire February contingent instantly defecated while the Colonel went on. “I’ve been at this a long time,” he said, skinning a live goat and weaving its hide into a jacket, “and if you’re not fighting for your survival every day, you’re fucked.”

After several hours of witnessing torture, multiple beheadings and resurrections, and the rapid departure of a busload of embarrassed but satisfied nuns, the Mixers returned to their hideout.

“I’VE FOUND MY PEOPLE!” exclaimed Lumberguy. “WHAT A RUSH!” uttered Doc. “I hope that iguana was okay” said Medic.

“We need to bring some excitement to our house…”, said Flyboy. “What if we… hear me out… call ourselves the FUCKING Catalina Wine Mixer?”

“Ooooh, I like it!” said Doc.

Just then, Buddy the Elf came on TV and all was right with the world.

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Part 3: REVENGE OF THE F.U.R.Y.

Written by CNC

After an interesting visit, the house that FURY built is contemplating the overall scene... which is to say, conducting business as usual.

"Damnit Josh, why do you keep encouraging these people?"  asks Srains, while he is sweeping up after that latest vortex party.

With a sheepish grin, JTL just shrugs and says "but I was just out to share some love, nothing wrong with, that is there?"

Just then Probe enters the room, shuffling thru the mess on the floor, "just who the fuck is responsible for THIS mess?  Carry on."

The whole room just rolls their eyes, with a couple head nods in JTL's direction.

"Hey there cutie," JTL says as Probe works his way across the room trying to get to the fridge.

Without missing a beat, Probe stares right at him and growls "who the fuck are you again?  Carry on."

"But Dad, I'm..."

Before he can finish, Probe swings his basketball sized fist knocking JTL thru the wall and into the next room.  With a grunt and smirk, Probe then mutters, "just get the hell out of my way, I'm thirsty.  Carry on."

About that time, the Colonel enters the room, realizing that the house has been busy since the Wine Mixers had left.  Surveying the damage, he raises his hand just in time to catch the cold beer Probe just threw at him... and says without batting an eye, "thanks Probe, I was just about to ask for one."

After opening his ice cold Miller Lite and taking a couple thoughtful drafts, the Colonel continues, "well guys, what did you think about our new neighbors?"

Srains props his head up with his broom and with a contemplative gaze, he says "well, they seem like a nice enough bunch, except they shit all over our floor... I'm not gonna say they were bad neighbors for doing so, because afterall, you literally scared the shit out of them Colonel."

"Well, if you ask me, I think they must all love fat chicks," Kyle chimes in as he enters the room flipping thru his recently purchased porno mags.  "Thats just me though," says as he continues flipping thru pages and walking right out of the room.

"Yeah, I suppose we ought to try and normalize diplomatic relations with them," offers Srains, "just to ensure they know we are just like everyone else."

"What?  Fuck them all... I'm not gonna coddle those young-un balls," Probe grunts out.  "They just need to quit like us.  Carry on."

Just then, the front door swings open putting everyone on alert... the Colonel's trigger finger begins to twitch.  A collective sigh of relief is audible as they realize its just Brick coming back with the groceries.

"Hey guys, guess what?  I just got a great deal on steaks and all the fixings... wanna fire up the grill today?  Hey, maybe we can invite the Wine Mixers over," Brick suggests, though hardly finished, "I also visited this new house a little further down the road.  Not a whole lot of residents in there yet, but they seem nice too.  Maybe we can just plan a great big block party?"

Undaunted, Probe repeats his earlier statement... "What?  Fuck them all... I'm not gonna coddle those young-un balls," Probe grunts out.  "They just need to quit like us.  Carry on."

"Hey Brick, how about we just handle one potential hazard at a time... I am still worried about these Wine Mixer guys," the Colonel remarks with total skepticism.  "I mean come on guys, think about it.  Look at our house... its got more battle scars than Gettysburg.  We have an awful lot of graves out back as well, yet these guys live in a beautiful house... no violence, no drama... no dead bodies.  There is just something suspicious about that."

Just as the Colonel finishes his thought, JTL comes crawling back thru the rubble of the wall he had most recently flown thru, "I love them... they are fun.  Unlike you guys.  I really like that LumberGuy... and Doc... and Josh... and Dizzy... and..." his list just continues on until the entire roll for the Wine Mixers has been recited, then he just crosses his legs on the carpet and sits with a stargazing smile and twinkle in his eye.  "Yeah... Catalina... Mmmmmmmm."

Q-Dog, who had been sitting silently in the corner, planning his upcoming videos, finally chimes in, "Anyway FURY, they will certainly benefit from our profound wisdom... and if they can handle us, then I suggest we give them that chance." He then takes a deep breath, straightens his photo-activated reading glasses, and exclaims, "besides, I need to shoot a video in that house.  The furniture was just to die for.  Fucking talk about Man Glitter Central, that place gives me lots of ideas."

The Colonel nods and decides to summarize what the group wants.  "Okay guys, I also agree.  Lets all go back other there sometime and deliver the BBQ invite.  I think that will..." suddenly the front slams open again, everyone reaches for their guns... the Colonel gets into his combat stance, nickel plated .357 at the ready... trigger finger twitching once again...

Probe begins pounding his fists together... Srains limbers up his diplomacy skills... and Dog gets his Zen warmed up.  And JTL?  Well, he just remains starry eyed with a shit eating grin on his face eager to see who the new visitor is.

But all they hear is a quickly spoken "Hi guys... bye guys", then the back door slams shut.

Rolling his eyes and clenching his teeth, the Colonel hisses out his displeasure... "FUCK ME TO TEARS ALREADY!!!  Those damn P&Gs piss me off every time."

In unison, everyone in the house just shakes their heads and exclaim, "Colonel you are just a sanctimonious prick."

"Thanks guys... now off to February we go then.  But this time, they get to meet Probe AND... we'll release... The Monk."

To be continued...

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Episode IV - Return to Catalina

Written by DrB

"Damn..."

"I know, right?"

The next 24 hours were tough in Wine Country. The Mixers sat staring at the floor or off into space, mentally reliving what they'd just experienced. For most, it had been months or even years since they'd actually filled their pants with feces. But how could any sane person have avoided it? Who but the most depraved soul could watch a grown man be dismembered and dissolved in acid, only to reappear moments later behind them as if nothing had happened?

Questions swirled in their brains... Who was the hooker, and how long had she been deceased? Why did they keep an anvil in the middle of the floor? Who the fuck is Kyle?

The television was showing static. Wine glasses sat unfilled. The only sounds were grunts, sighs, and the occasional necessary flatulence.

Mike looked up and, with a forlorn air, said "Something's missing, guys." Everyone nodded in agreement. "We used to be so happy with our peaceful lives, but now even if Will Farrell showed up it wouldn't be the exciting party we were hoping for..."

"Don't you DARE take the lord's name in vain," said Doc. "Will Farrell WILL return, and his return will be TRIUMPHANT, and we will ALL go to Catalina Island with him!". But his words sounded hollow, even to his own ears...

Suddenly, and without warning, the door blew off its hinges and shattered on the opposite wall.

"DIDJA MISS US, SPIT FUCKS?!" said a wild-eyed man who reeked of January. "I'm motherfucking PROBE. That's right. Bend over, Lumber, I'll show you how I got my fucking name!"

"Whoah, easy there big fella" said a familiar voice. The Colonel strode in and put a calming hand on Probe's shoulder. "Sorry boss," said Probe, "But these young-uns have the coddliest balls I've ever seen..."

In walked a man filming himself with a video camera. He sauntered over to the couch, sat down, and murmured with a delightful southern twang about this and that. DZismann72 hurried over, lifted up Dog's feet, and put them on the footrest. Then, unbidden, his rage boiled over and he ran from the house, screaming "I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH FOOTRESTS!"

"Guys", said the Colonel, "We're having a party. You know what that means. We're gonna grill some shit. Then we're going to shoot some shit. Hookers and blow, with a side of necrophelia. And we've rented a bouncer for the kids! Here's the flyer, please RSVP so we know how many cows we'll need to slaughter."

And they backed out, looking all around them. Clearly they were not used to leaving places without being under heavy fire. "Sorry about your door. Nice balls though" said Probe.

The Mixers stood still for a moment. Then they slowly began looking at each other, and their smiles grew wider. They started giggling, laughing, and fist-bumping. Then, as if choreographed, they all leaped into the air at the same time and...

FREEZE FRAME.

CUE OUTRO MUSIC.

SCROLL TEXT: "To be continued..."

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Episode 4.5: THE VISIT

Written by CNC

As the FURY all cautiously backtrack to the house, covering all corners and open spaces, the Colonel veers off to head for the store... unescorted.

The sun has just set, so he checks all of his flanks before sliding into the front seat of his SUV.

Just as he starts the engine of his rig, his spider-senses begin to tingle. Something is not right...

Right about the time the Colonel is ready to go on high alert, this low gravely voice comes from the back seat, "hello CNC... I've been watching you."

"What the FUCK???" The Colonel reaches for his gun, but its obviously too late to engage the intruder... he is caught off guard. "Who are you and what do you want?"

The shadowy visitor answers quietly, but sternly, "you have hijacked something that is rightfully mine, and I want it back."

"What? I don't know what you mean... I don't even know who you are, let alone what you are talking about," responds the Colonel.

"Fine, you wanna play that way? Go ahead, turn on the cabin lights then."

Hesitantly the Colonel does so, though steeled up for immediate physical combat. Suddenly, the cab of his truck is filled with a brilliant light... finally illuminating the "visitor".

The Colonel focuses his eyes... staring into the rearview mirror, stunned to see a familiar face glaring back at him.

The figure in the backseat sees this and breaks the silence, "so Colonel... now you know who I am... but YOU were supposed to be dead."

Un-rattled, the Colonel plays along, "yeah, I get that a lot!!! So, Coach Steve, what brings you to the 2018 block of KTC Chase?"

A moment of uneasy silence ensues... then the answer comes... "You do Colonel. I am here for you."

Then the lights go out... the engine shuts down... and nothing but silence.

To be continued.

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Episode 4.51: Flash back: HE'S BACK

Written by Coach Steve, title by SRains

Coach Steve aka FUCS is napping on the couch in the living room of the Glass House of April 2012 when the phone rings. FUCS waits a few rings to see if anyone else will pick it up...ring....ring....ring...realizing that Beast is enjoying the weekend of 69s with his wife, Vadge is working the late shift at the vagina sanctuary, and CBird is running his 15th marathon in as many days, FUCS begrudgingly gets off the couch to answer the land line...

FUCS: {muttering to himself} Who the fuck uses a landline anymore... {FUCS picks up old rotary phone} Hello?
Caller: Coach! Is that you?
FUCS: Yes...{still groggy from his nap and clearly irritated}
Caller: Hey Coach its RW Bullet from October 2017
FUCS: Oh..hey what's up?
RWB: Have you seen them yet Coach?
FUCS: Seen what?
RWB: The new narratives in October 2018?!
FUCS: {scratching his ass} Um...no can't say that I have
RWB: Oh Coach you gotta see these...they remind me of your narratives
FUCS: {perking up} Wait...what? You can't be serious.
RWB: Oh I'm very serious Coach...you need to check it out yourself!
FUCS: {yawning} Eh...I dunno man...I'm pretty busy right now
RWB: Busy doing what?
FUCS: {looking around and realizing he isn't wearing any pants} Um...you know...stuff and things
RWB: {sounding dejected} Well...ok...but I really think you oughta check it out
FUCS: {sighing} Alright man...just stop by the Glass House when you're ready and we'll go together
{Just then, the doorbell rings}
FUCS: {perplexed} RW?
RWB: Yes Coach?
FUCS: Did you just ring my doorbell?
RWB: Maybe...
FUCS: {walking to the front door and opening it}
RWB: Hey Coach!
FUCS: Dude seriously?
RWB: Sorry Coach but I'm really excited! {looking down} Coach...why aren't you wearing any pants?
FUCS: {shrugging} Do I really need pants? This is KTC Land and its my narrative
RWB: You have a good point. Well do you want to get dressed before we go?
FUCS: Nah...I'm good. Can you drive?
RWB: What's wrong with your car?
FUCS: Well...it's a long story...let's just say in all the narratives I've written I'm not sure I ever wrote myself a car
RWB: That's strange
FUCS: Not really, back in those days we could walk or ride Hipster's bicycle everywhere in KTC Land. Either that or Gmann aka "G" would try to pick me up in his pink VW Beetle. Now KTC has expanded into the suburbs and there's the new CHEWIE EXPRESSWAY
RWB: Well...I had to KUBER here
FUCS: KUBER?
RWB: Yeah it's the KTC version of UBER
FUCS: Ah..well KUBER it is I guess
RWB: {taking out his phone} I got it! You sure you don't want to put on any pants Coach?
FUCS: Does it really matter in the long run?
RWB: {shrugging} I guess not
{Just then, a black Audi with tinted windows pulls into the driveway}
RWB: Looks like our ride is here
FUCS: Certainly looks that way doesn't it
{FUCS and RWB make their way down the glass stairs and into the backseat of the Audi}
Enough: Howdy folks! I'm Enough from the Nov 2009 group, how are you fine quitters this evening?
RWB: Hi Enough! I'm RW Bullet and this is Coach Steve!
FUCS: Please...call me FUCS
Enough: {adjusting the rear view mirror} Um...Coach...you do realize you're not wearing any pants right?
FUCS: And...
Enough: {backing out of the driveway} Works for me chief!
{Enough pulls out of the 2012 HOF Neighborhood, onto KTC Boulevard and then the CHEWIE Expressway}
Enough: Yeah....I remember the good ole days when we were just a small community of quitters {pointing at a new retirement community under construction} Now we're just building and building
FUCS: Hell I remember when KTC Boulevard was just a dirt road that dead ended at LOOT's farm
RWB: What is LOOT's farm?
Enough: {looking in the rear view mirror} He was a quitter from the old days...one of the founding fathers
RWB: What happened to him?
FUCS: {putting his hand on RWB's shoulder} That's not for you to worry about right now, we have better things to do
RWB: {leaning back on the headrest} Ok Coach...
{Enough takes the 2018 HOF Group exit off of the CHEWIE Expressway. FUCS notices the exit sign has been painted over with black spray paint..."Welcome to the FOG"}
FUCS: Well that's comforting
{Enough pulls the car onto the shoulder at the end of the exit ramp}
Enough: This is as far as I go folks
FUCS: {looking at RWB} How far away are we?
RWB: Just a few blocks Coach
Enough: I would take you myself but KUBER guidelines prohibit us from entering the pre-HOF zone due to the hazards
FUCS: What hazards?
Enough: {Adjusting the mirror to check out FUCS's Ex Officio boxers} You will soon see for yourself
RWB: C'mon Coach, let's get going!
FUCS: {to Enough} Will I ever see you again?
Enough: You know where to find me...just post in Nov 2009 and tell us why you still post on KTC
FUCS: {getting out of the Audi} That I can do
{FUCS closes the door and Enough peels out into a 180 and accelerates onto the CHEWIE Expressway}
RWB: Let's get going Coach...it's not safe out here in the open...
FUCS: I'm starting to doubt this whole idea RWB
RWB: Just trust me Coach...
{Just then, a new quitter streaks by screeching "I'm quit, I'm quit, holy shit this sucks....ahhh....shit...I'm dying!" and then starts to run into the woods before stopping and turning towards FUCS. "Hey you there...you do realize you're not wearing any pants right?"}
FUCS: {cupping his hands} Hang in there bro it gets better!
New Quitter: {head turns 360 degrees} Thanks for the advice {then bounds into the brush}
FUCS: Hmmm..I can see why KUBER rules prohibit drivers going into this area
RWB: I promise it gets better Coach
{FUCS and RWB make their way towards the Jan 2018 FURY when they hear gunshots}
FUCS: {ducking} What the fuck was that?
RWB: That...my good sir...is the Jan 2018 FURY
FUCS: The FURY?
RWB: Yes...led by your favorite caricature
FUCS: {eyes widening} No....
RWB: Oh yes Coach...it is time
{FUCS and RWB make their way towards the Jan 2018 FURY stopping only to observe "Time to Say Goodbye" karaoke being performed by the Feb 2018 Catalina Wine Mixer group}
FUCS: What's up with those guys
RWB: Not really sure...but that's not why we're here
FUCS: So...why are we here?
{Just then, RWB ducks behind some brush and pulls FUCS with him}
FUCS: WTF dude?
RWB: {gesturing} Shhhh...look
FUCS: My dear god...
{FUCS gazes upon the compound of the Jan 2018 FURY. Surrounded by barbed wire fence and equipped with lookout sentries, the Jan 2018 FURY is aptly described as a hellscape. The decapitated heads of reincarnated quitters are mounted atop stakes surrounding the compound and shrill screams can be heard emanating from within}
FUCS: {eyes wide open} What...is...this...place?
RWB: This my dear Coach...is CNC's world
FUCS: {snapping his head towards RWB} What did you just say?
RWB: You heard me Coach...
FUCS: But...it can't be...
RWB: Oh but it is Coach. CNC has created new narratives to fit his shall I say...narrative
FUCS: So CNC is like CNN?
RWB: Sort of...but without the shitty cable news network
FUCS: Ah...I see...so what do you need me for?
RWB: Well Coach....you are the only one that can defeat him
FUCS: But I'm retired...
RWB: Are you?
{FUCS and RWB turn toward the camera}
FUCS: I guess not....

{To Be Continued...}

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Episode V: Murky Night

Written by joshthel0ser

Upon nightfall, Srains, and the Dog enter the FURY house after returning from their visit to the Wine Mixers.

They're greeted with a, "Hey fukers" from Monk and an insincere wave from JTL.

Srains, giving them the finger, says "Hi.." while Dog is still in awe over all the nice wooden furniture his new neighbors have throughout their home. Probe, in his old age, is walking slower and has not yet made it across the moat and to the front door.

JTL asks the guys how they enjoyed their latest encounter with the Winos. Srains says, "Yeah, I'll tell you in a second, Josh" he says as he searches the fridge for scallops and a White Russian in a can. JTL is thinking that doesn't sound like a great combo, but there isn't a better combo than boobs so what does it matter?

As Srains sits down and begins his tale, all of a sudden, the power goes out.

Dog explodes in a rage after all he's been through to get electricity in the first place. "What. The. Fuck. Guys?" he asks, expecting an answer none of the FURY could provide.

He takes a deep breath and says, "ommmmmm." That goes on for about three minutes. He pops in a stick of Trident Cinnamon, and resumes his meditation briefly before finally speaking again.

"You know what, this is okay. It's not.. we're paying for electricity, yet, it's out! But it's okay, we have to live life on life's terms" says the Dog.

JTL assures him and the rest of the fellas that it will be alright, and suggests they look for flashlights and candles.

Just then THE FURY hears some sort of moaning outside. "The fuck is that?" wonders Josh. "I don't know man, sounds like a beached whale .. or an old man out of breath." added Dog.

Feeling buzzed and brave on his canned vodka, Srains jumps up, opens the door, and peers out to see just what the hell was going on out there.

He sees Probe on the ground and a large rock just behind him. Srains, now laughing, slaps his knee and exclaims, "Guys, you were both right, it's an old man AND a -" he pauses from laughing so hard to the point it sounds like a tea kettle - "an old man AND a beached whale!"

All of the FURY begins to chuckle.

Josh gets up and rushes out to Probe, offering his hand. "C'mon daddy, let's get you up and inside!"

Rolling his eyes, Probe asks, "Who the fuck are you?" and reaches for Josh's hand. They proceed into the house and the old man notices the lack of light. Seeing Dog pacing on the phone, he realizes what's happened and chooses not to comment.

JTL gets Probe settled in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot black coffee and hands him the remote.

Meanwhile, Dog is on the phone with the elusive Duke Energy company. Tempers start to rise as patience dissipates.

At this time, a light begins to flicker, and power is restored to the FURY house.

The FURY hears a faint laugh. It gets louder and louder. A hysterical Brocc emerges from the basement where he flipped all of the breakers back on.

Too tired to rage, everyone is just glad that it's all over.

Mr. OnHunt says goodnight to the Duke lady and suggests Brocc go home for the night.

As some time passes by channel surfing and polishing guns, things begin to wind down.

Srains begins to sober up and breaks the silence with, "Hey, where the hell is the Colonel?"

"The Colonel is a sanctimonious prick, who needs him?", Josh asks facetiously and winks.

To be continued...

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Episode VI: The Wine Mixer has a discussion.

Written by Dzismann72

(((I have thoroughly enojyed the story so far and i thought I might like to add a piece to the saga.  Someone, anyone is welcome to adjust formatting because I don't know code. Wine Mix on!)))

The night before the big block barbeque, the Catalina Wine Mixers had a house meeting.

The men gathered in the chairs and couches looking at the CNC sized boot marks on the floor.

Jwebb can't find his favorite wooden chair since the January boys left...

The group seems divided, some wide eyed and excited while others are pale faced and unconvinced.


Dr. Bottux rose from his chair to say loudly:
  Guys, this is going to be a good thing! We get to cut loose and earn that "Fuckin" we've been thinking about hanging outside. Lumber has already started redesigning the sign.

Jmedic talks while waving his half empty pint glass
 Doc, let's think this through. We've got a great thing going here and doesn't every kid these days wear a 'Stones t-shirt when they can't tell paint it black from satisfaction?

Dr.: But there are so few of us, we need to get out more and make our presence known!

Jmedic: Then why not start by making inroads with march? In a nicer part of the neighborhood! someplace that maybe doesn't have more bullets than the Cinton foundation?

Lumber: Because January is Fucking Awesome! They have target practice in the hallway! Axe throwing in the kitchen! And they have pictures on the walls!

Josh605 chimes in from the back: "we have pictures on our walls!" and he points to the famous Dogs playing poker painting

Lumber: Pictures of tits! JTL and CopeFiend have that place swimming in beautiful, tanned, smirking, smiling, long haired, covered in red, delicious, popping titties.  Where can we hang that good shit around here?

Beebee addreses the group with conviction and desperation: You guys aren't even a little worried about bringing their mess into our house! Look at how tidy it is! We pay our bills on time, we follow the HOA CC&R's, we have intact drywall!

From outside, A loud crack follwed by the smell of cinamon preludes the entrance of the all seeing Drome.

As he talks, he strolls through the room, looking at each of the wine mixers, seeing through them and knowing their story:

"I ben here uh long time n I seen jus bout it all.  I think that uh bbq is a helluva way ta build comunity. Ya otta take the oppertunity ta go n git yer quits on."

He went around the corner and left the way he came with a crack and another strong whiff of cinamon.

Dz: Maybe we can- I don't want to overstep here - maybe we can bring some sides, have a beer or two, and then politely leave before it gets too late?  

J Webb: and maybe we can ask Dog about my chair....

Pike hunter, sitting by the window gets the attention of the group, " What in the fuck are they doing?!"

The group squeezes closer to window to behold the truly incredible scene.

Outside the January house, CNC and JTL are stacking every piece of wood that isn't nailed down on the heaping mountain of firewood in the front yard and spilling into the street.

Dog is sharpening ten foot long skewers and muttering about man glitter.

Probe is sitting on the front porch between two 8 foot speaker towers blaring the Doors and manning the .50 incase anyone gets out of line.

Srains is working a small herd of cattle towards a makeshift corral with a cattle prod and the Colonel's spare service pistol.

"oh, there's my chair!"  JWebb exclaims noticing Monk, sitting naked and sideways on top of the bonfire pile playing with a butane torch.....

To be continued..........

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EPISODE VII: THE SHOWDOWN - FUCS versus CNC

Written by CNC

The following is based on a true story.  KTC Invetigators from the Department of Quitter Safety have been able to piece together many of the events from oral and written eye-witness accounts.  While no one is certain about all the details, and many questions go unanswered to this day, all that can be said is "let the reader decide for themselves."


As many recall, the events of The Visit and The Mirky Night transpired immediately following the second visit to the Wine Mixers house of chill.  Where the Colonel was confronted by someone from his past, with a mission of their own.  It appeared to the Colonel that this person was a hitman from 2012 HOF side of town to silence him... permanently.

Caught off guard, the intruder had gained the upper hand while concealed in the backseat of CNC's SUV.  Waiting in the dark... the perfect ambush.  This is what happened next.

Many things happened all at the same time, as many combat veterans can attest to, things get confusing (and even harder to decipher after the fact), but the Colonel knew he had to act fast and decisively before his opponent.  The chances of coming out this were understandably slim... the numbers just did not add up in his favor.  His .357 still in its leather under his jacket, and his highly modified AR-15 sitting inconveniently on the passenger seat... what weapons he had leveled at him by Coach Steve?  Absolutely unclear.  The Colonel just knew though, it took some serious balls to pull this off... and it would make zero sense to attempt it while unarmed.

The numbers continued to count off... he was running out of time.  "LETS ROCK!!!" the Colonel growls as he grabs for leather.

At the same time, the passenger door flies open revealing yet another bushwacker.  RWB, who had been observing from a safe distance, determined that things were about to go South for his friend FUCS.  He was hoping to disarm the Colonel and defuse the situation before it escalated to a high intensity conflict of epic proportions.  He was seconds too late... the action had begun.

Fumbling with the Colonel AR-15, RWB didn't realize that the Colonel had asked Probe to modify the trigger and fire selector... it was now a full-auto weapon with a hair trigger.  There really is no way RWB could have known this while he tried to balance the heavy weapon that was sporting a double-barrelled 100 round magazine, optics of every type mounted everywhere possible, and a 37mm flare launcher attached in the over-under configuration.  

As he was trying to gain control of the Colonel's machine gun his finger brushed against the trigger... with next to no zero trigger pull required, the weapon exploded into action.  Spraying lead all over the inside of the SUV.  Punching holes in the windshield, all the paneling, and destroying the dashboard.  The cacophony was deafening... like nothing RWB had ever experienced.  At this point the magazine was already half-empty, so he just decided to ride it out... but the runaway weapon seemed to have a mind of its own.  

So, reaching up with this left hand, RWB tried to grab at the handguard to at least direct his fire away from Coach Steve... but instead he grabbed the trigger of the Havoc Flare Launcher, sending a Super Blaster flare bouncing all over the inside of the cab.  Then the whistling started... like incoming artillery... RWB dropped the rifle and ran to gain cover before the round exploded.  Hitting grass just in time, the Blaster round went off, exploding like a 1/4 stick of TNT, sending sparks and smoke everywhere... the color scheme was bedazzling.  

RWB glanced up, crawled up onto his elbows, and actually admired the fireworks show for a few moments.  

Muttering outloud, "wow, that Colonel sure knew how to outfit a weapon.  That is some pretty shit right there."

When the AR-15 finally ran out of ammo, and the echoes from the Super Blaster subsided, the neighborhood was deadly quiet... like a cemetery at midnight.  No bugs, no birds, no traffic, no nothing.  Just smoke and the smell of cordite.

From around the side of the SUV creeps Coach Steve... apparently unharmed.  "Just what the hell did you do RWB?  Holy cow."

RWB just shakes his head... ears still ringing... "I am not sure of anything now.  That was the craziest thing I was ever witnessed."  Tapping the sides of his head with his palms.  "What about the Colonel?"

Coach Steve looks inside the still smoke filled cab... waves some of it away until he sees what it was he was looking for.

The Colonel pinned against the door with about 20+ bullet holes covering his body while clenching his favorite pistol... blood splatter everywhere... gore covering the seats and dash... he was obviously dead.

But the vision that Coach Steve will never forget, was the look on the Colonel's face... a grizzly looking mixture of rage and a smile.

"Uh, RWB you probably don't want to look in there... its not pretty," FUCS says as he turns to walk away.

At that very moment, members of The FURY and Catalina Wine Mixer begin to arrive at the scene to investigate the "hell-on-earth" that was unleashed only yards away from their respective houses.

Coach Steve sees this and makes an announcement to the growing crowd, "Brothers... please... let me explain.  I am Coach Steve from 2012, I was summoned here to take care of a problem... unfortunately it didn't quite go down as I planned, and well... the Colonel is dead.  I am sorry for your loss."

The members of FURY look back and forth at each other... seemingly in shock over the news, while the Wine Mixers are flabbergasted at the fact that they were living next door to an active combat zone the whole time.  Each taking a moment to glance inside the cab to confirm the brutal tale as told by this character called Coach Steve.

Once convinced of the validity of his story, a long drawn out silence followed... no one moved or spoke a word.

Then, breaking the silence with a thunderous roar... "WELL JUST FUCK ME TO TEARS ALREADY" the Colonel bellows out as he strolls around the corner, with the illumination from the SUV's lights casting an eerie glow across his face... Coach Steve noticing the facial expression was the same as he saw on the "Colonel" in the truck.  

Gasps are heard throughout the assembled group.  Eyes widen and jaws drop open.  The FURY all smile.  Probe speaks up first... "THAT'S our Colonel... the Sanctimonious Prick!!!"

As for the Wine Mixers?  Just as before... almost in unison, they collectively shit themselves.

And this is what the investigators have entered into the official records at KTC City Hall.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To be continued???

[SRains918]

12/6/17 @ 12:38

Day 69 - It's a little strange that I showed up again 23 days later to post. I really meant to be better than that when I started this intro but life has been moving pretty fast.

I'm still posting roll at 100% and I intend to keep it that way. I'm texting 36 people my promise to quit every morning (including two that aren't even on KTC, but one of THEM is still quit and sends me his number every morning). I had the great pleasure of meeting Montovon a few weeks ago and I'd like to be able to meet more of my quit brothers and sisters.

It's hard to believe tomorrow is 10 weeks. It seems like it's gone by so fast, and also so slowly. I haven't had entire bad days recently but still do have stretches where I'm miserable as FUCK for no apparent reason. Well, I know what the reason is I suppose... It's hard to describe really because it doesn't always involve actual craves. More of just a general "funk". It passes. Overall I have to say that I feel better than I have in YEARS. I do have to admit that I've put on a few pounds with this quit and I'm not happy about that, but it beats not being quit. That's the next part of my life that I'll be working on.

If my recent pattern holds I'll be back here on Day 92 posting my next intro update. Keep on quitting!!!

[SRains918]

11/13/17 @ 06:56

Day 46 - It just occurred to me that I haven't actually posted much here lately in terms of using this as a "journal". In fact, it's been 23 days (which is odd, because my last journal post was day 23).

The last 23 days have not been completely smooth. I've had some INCREDIBLY bad craves but have fought through them by texting my newfound friends here and by hanging out and posting in our trainwreck of a quit group (Jan '18, and I am proud to quit with every single one of those roll jacking mofos). I've had a couple of foggy days, but nothing anywhere near as bad as it was for my Day 23 post.

I've complained about the mess in January a few times (here as well as in the group), but truth be told it's a bad-ass group to be a part of. I think we're still 45 or so strong (pissed about the two caves last week) and everyone in the group is at or past the three week mark (still early, but I'm pretty happy we're 45 strong through 3 weeks). It's a great mix of personalities and strengths and sometimes that means that things get a little crazy... If you're truly bored, I highly recommend reading through there. Is there a lot of bullshit? Yes. Is there a TON of incredibly good information? You bet! With the crowd we've drawn on a pretty regular basis there are people with a whole lot of quit days that are posting advice, and that's going to be a lot of help going forward.

If you're reading this and haven't made contact with a bunch of people you're doing KTC wrong. I'm texting around 30 people every morning in addition to posting roll, which makes me that much more accountable.  I'm online as much as I can be posting in the group. This place is about forming relationships with people so that you CANNOT fail. I have probably 50 contacts overall now. I'll text/call every single one of them before I put that crap in my mouth, and that is going to help me stay quit.

I'm quit, ODAAT.

[SRains918]

10/21/17 @ 10:12

Day 23 - I wasn't planning on posting over the weekend, but needed to post this one.

The fog rolled in HARD this morning. Just randomly, and out of the blue. I can't concentrate on anything this morning. Forcing myself to get through the things I need to accomplish today as best I can but it's after 10am and I haven't been able to get out of the house yet. I did WUPP and sent my 10-12 morning day count texts, so that's good... I'm much better at recognizing the bullshit when it happens. Now I just need to get re-wired and figure out how to deal with it better.

Future self (and others that stumble in here): This took me 10-15 fucking minutes to type, and then I realized I have been sitting here staring at the screen for who knows how long... Wow... Just wow...

[SRains918]

Reminder that I do want to grab as much of Irish's intro as possible and fix these broken links...

This came up in our quit group today and I didn't want to lose it. GREAT info!!!

Nice
Now that we got that all cleared up.
Answer the three questions.

....

The Three Questions

and

Answering the three questions - Reprise

These links might help you understand what we're asking.

While you're reading those, feel free to read the rest of my intro.  Like you, I am documenting my quit with an "Intro-journal".

It's therapeutic and will also help those close to you at KTC.

[SRains918]

10/19/17 @ 08:56

Day 21. Three fucking weeks!!! Damn, it feels good to say that.

The cravings aren't as bad as they were. Still there obviously along with a LOT of the normal things people go through at this point. Gotta love all the "What to expect" info on KTC. It makes me feel as "normal" as possible I guess.

Weirdest thing to happen in the last few days was that I reached for a can (that didn't exist) after I finished eating lunch at my desk one day. Bent over and started opening my laptop bag before I realized what I was doing. The crazy thing is that I wasn't even CRAVING, it's just such a habit that I did it instinctively. That's the only time I've reached for a can that wasn't there over the last few weeks, so I guess I'm doing pretty well as far as that goes.

I'm starting to try to be more active in my quit group. I honestly believe that it's going to help make my own personal quit stronger, and I feel like it's time to start helping the newer newbies while all this crap is still fresh in my mind. Not that I'm ever going to forget it... I also appreciate everything the vets on this site have done for me, and I want to give back as much as I can. I see this (KTC) as something that takes up a fair portion of my time going forward, although I AM probably going to have to get some actual work done at some point.

Day 21 (And Counting). I quit with you today!

[SRains918]

10/16/17 @ 07:39

Day 18 - Made it through my third nicotine free weekend! The first one I can honestly say I don't really remember. Last weekend was tough simply because of all of the real nicotine free "firsts" that were bigger triggers than I expected. Weeding, mowing, trimming bushes... It seems crazy that these were things that triggered cravings. This weekend was far better, although there were still a few that were really intense. I think I can chalk part of that up to trying to wean myself off of sunflower seeds over the weekend. Big mistake, even though I tried substituting hard candies in their place. Stopped for more seeds on my way to work this morning and ditched the candy for now...

I have felt much better the last few days. I'm not really sure whether or not my sleep patterns are still off because my allergies kicked in and I've started on Benadryl before bed so I can breathe all night... Either way, I've slept well for the last few days.

I know I'm only 18 days in, but I have yet to miss a roll post since my first (I think day 4 or 5). If you've stumbled across this while thinking it's time to quit (or I'm rereading so I can remember what I went through) - Posting roll daily makes all the difference. Don't miss a day. For any reason. Ever. Make that daily promise and then keep it. Thinking about quitting dip forever is incredibly daunting and will send you into a panic attack (at least it does for me). Quitting one day at a time? That's comparatively easy. Just make that promise every fucking day and keep it.

Support from people on KTC has been incredible and I have singled a few people out in previous posts and thanked them. I need to acknowledge two people at home though... My S/O Patty (who I have also thanked before) has been so incredibly supportive of this quit. She has done at LEAST as much research as I have and I can honestly say she's been one step ahead of me so far. The second one is my son. It occurred to me the other day that he has never had a father that wasn't hopped up on nicotine (other than a year or so that I'm sure he doesn't remember). Seeing how happy he is that I've been quit even for this short period of time really feels good.

I have posted roll today and made my promise. Have you?

[SRains918]

Srains,

Congratulations on your quit and your succcess thus far and welcome to the group.

As you know, the main way to be successful is to just decide that you have quit. Once you stop the negotiating in your head as to whether you will do one more or not the rest becomes far more simple.

Next, you will learn to distract your attention from your desire for a dip to anything else that interests you. This ability to change your focus will guarantee your success and make your quit that much easier.

When you place a dip in your mouth, your brain releases sugars. Well, those sugars are now going to be gone.

However, you can replace them with OJ or other fruit juices with sugar. This will provide some comfort, especially in your initial quit days.

Make sure to exercise with weights and cardio when you feel that nagging tension in your muscles, you feel that rage, when you can not sleep and when you can not focus. Exercise really helps.

Here is one that most people overlook. Get at least 3 square meals a day. Hunger can really bring on those urges so squash those urges before they come. Eat full healthy meals and do not let yourself get excessively hungry. You will see this helps a great deal.

I waited until I was 59 quit after using tobacco for 40 years. You are wise to quit now.

I quit with you today.

Dundippin day 760

[SRains918]

Yep srains, one day at a time.  You are doing great.  hopefully you are starting to experience some good days.  The roller coaster of emotions is very real.  I did that crap for 35 years and it is amazing how much of a pull it can have on you after such a period of time.  

Proud to quit with you!!

[SRains918]

10/12/17 @ 07:39

Day 14 - I made it two weeks!!! Next goal: three weeks quit.

You know what? That's not true. I'm at 14 and I've posted roll for today. The next goal is day 15. Then day 16. Then day 17...

I already knew in the back of my mind that once I got past the first few days things were going to be up and down for quite a while. This isn't my first quit. It's my first quit with KTC though. Posting roll, texting other quitters daily for support, accountability. These are the things that make this quit different for me.

If I'm honest, day 13 was my toughest so far. Not the physical cravings or the fogginess or any of the actual physical things associated with quitting. Yesterday was the first real "mental" hurdle day for me. Stress at work, crap in my personal life, everything seemed to just come to a head all at once. I heard the whispers of the nicotine bitch in the back of my mind. Any other quit in the past, this is where I would have caved. I didn't. Part of that was my personal commitment to this quit. Part of that was my promise to KTC via roll that I wouldn't use nicotine. Part of that was because I woke up yesterday and texted FishFlorida and JeffW and INKcogKNEEdough and promised THEM PERSONALLY that I wouldn't. Accountability. I kept my word.

Today is Day 14. I will NOT use nicotine today. I have made my promise. I will keep my word. I will make the exact same promise as soon as I get up tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I will WUPPEDD, and I will stay quit one day at a time.

[SRains918]

10/9/17 @ 07:21

Day 11 - I made double digits!!! Next goal: two weeks quit.

I probably won't post as much on weekends but I will get on and post roll (I did this past weekend). I live on my laptop for work and try to keep my weekends as "electronics free" as possible. Hopefully I'll get to the point that I'm comfortable posting from my phone and I can go back to leaving my laptop in the bag over the weekend. I'll do what I have to do to post roll EVERY DAMN DAY!!!

It sucked seeing JTack drop out. He got about to where I am now and I haven't seen him back yet for a new "Day 1". It sucked seeing a Day 1 post from the Colonel after him having quit for so long. Both of those were very sobering to me, and neither was particularly surprising. I don't mean that I wasn't surprised because of them personally. I don't know either one. I mean that it's not particularly surprising to see someone drop out within a couple of weeks, or even after a year or more. I've done both in the past. Like probably everyone on KTC I've got more "two week quits" than I can count, and one that I caved after more than a year (probably closer to a year and a half).

So, why should things be different for me this time around? I've shown in the past that I can't do this. Honestly, KTC. That's what's different for me this time. As ridiculous as it may sound to someone thinking about quitting, a simple fucking promise to a bunch of strangers every morning posting roll is enough to make me think twice. FishFlorida and JeffW are getting texts from me first thing every morning with my Day # and that same promise. Accountability. That's the difference for me this time.

Having made it through Day 10, most of the worst physical parts are done. I'm still not sleeping worth a damn, but I expected that. I'm taking naps and going to bed earlier (who knew as kids that we'd appreciate naps and spankings later in life   ). It's not ideal but even though I wake up a lot, when you add it all up I'm probably sleeping enough. I had my first ever "dip dream" over the weekend. That was weird. I honestly thought whoever posted that was full of crap because I'd never experienced it before. Well, now I can tell you that it's a real thing. I still have cravings several times a day, some pretty intense, but I've been able to power through them all with sunflower seeds and finding distractions. They pass pretty quickly for the most part, although for some reason I'm freaking useless and really craving between about 5:00p-6:00p daily. If someone gets a text because I need support, it's going to be that time of day. I have no idea why that time is bad for me (I'm normally in a place I wouldn't have been dipping anyway) right now, but it is. For now, I'm just going to make sure I'm not in a place where I even CAN buy crap during that time to minimize the temptation.

I'm proud of the Jan '18 Ball Droppers. This is the worst part. The first few weeks and the first 100 days. We can do this together with help from past quitters. Post roll EDD. Text or call someone BEFORE you buy a can and cave. PM me for my number if you don't have enough support already. I'm happy to talk you down off the cliff and to have you do that for me when I need it.

[SRains918]

10/6/17 @ 07:28

Today is Day 8 - I have posted roll and promise to remain nic free today. It's funny how simple yet incredibly powerful that is to do.

Day 7 was much, much easier in terms of the cravings and the mood swings. The hardest part was staying focused and staying awake at work because I haven't been sleeping as well as I normally do. I did sleep better last night, so I'm hopeful that I'll be a little more alert today. I did find myself standing at a counter looking at the dip rack last night (we were in the store for something completely unrelated to that, but they always seem to have the dip right there behind the register). I excused myself and left my S/O to purchase what she needed and walked outside. I wasn't tempted to buy, but didn't want to stand there and tempt fate either. I think if it had been a couple of days ago I'd be here trying to explain why I was an idiot and starting my count over. Yesterday, no problem.


I found this a while back and thought it was appropriate for here. I'm not sure where it came from originally, so I can't give it proper credit:

An addict fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The addict called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him to buy a ladder, but the addict could not find a ladder in this hole he was in. A doctor walked by. The addict said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him some drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The addict said thanks, but when the pills ran out he was still in the hole. A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the addict's cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get in there? Were you born there? Did your parents put you there? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the addict talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The addict thanked him, but was still in his hole. A priest came by and heard the addict calling for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said, "I'll pray for you." The priest got down on his knees and prayed for the addict, then left. The addict was very grateful and he read the whole Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole. A recovering addict happened to be passing by. The addict cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering addict jumped in the hole with him. The addict said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here!" But the recovering addict said, "It's okay. I've been here before. I know the way out."
- Anonymous


I'm proud to quit with you all today. Thank you to those that have jumped down into this hole with me!!!