Embarrassed to be addicted!!

[markr]

Amen Brother!
Welcome to the site there is a wealth of info here. They people here want to see you reach your goal of quitting. We have all been in your shoes. I can tell you you are in for a rough ride. The one thing you will get here is no BS. It is tough love tell it like it is no sugar and spice. They are right the extra cans may cause an issue. I had a safety can for a week I never used it but I also realized that it was too easy to get to it so I flushed it.

Be prepared for the fog that will start very soon it sucks you will not able to concentrate everything will be hazy and out of focus.

Last but not least Thank You for your service to this country!

Stay Quit!!!

[embarrassed]

OK, OK!

I just got home and threw ALL the cans away!

Since it is day 7 for me, the trigger/cravings do not affect me the way that they did on the first through the third day (I do not have to yell at myself in my head to "fucking man up").

Now it is more of a "well that was just a dip moment".

I know I am not supposed to drink because my "strong will" may disappeear, but to me the concept of that statement means you are weak willed.

I gave my WORD, to MYSELF that I will not take another dip, and if I do take another than that means (to ME) that I am not the person that I see myself as being.

I bet you guys/girls hear this all the time, however I have been through a lot of "WILL TESTERS" that not many people have defeated.

I will stay here on the site and will probably be a member for a long, long, time.

Oh, I forgot to tell you I am also a Christian (although my language sometimes makes me sound unlike one).

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

[QuittinTime]

......and yeah, DITCH THE EFFEN CANS!!!! :o

[Kdip]

Embarresssed, Take the advice from some of the most bad-ass quitters on this site that have posted their response. THROW THOSE FUCKIN CANS OUT NOW!!! They will CALL to you UNTIL you crack one OPEN and PUT in a FATTY!!! You are STRONGER that that little round can of death!!! Welcome to the site and congrats on the best decision you will ever make!!! Embrace the SUCK!!! We have you back.

[klark]

throw the trophies out....it is a cave waiting to happen, many times my quit has been saved by having to make a conscious effort to get the crap...

I agree with cdforecheck, despite his problem of being an Ohio State fan. I am on day 33 and can guarantee if one of those cans had been in the house I would not be posting. Get rid of all of it, hell I will not even use a styrofoam coffee cup anymore as that was what my spitter was.

[cdforecheck]

throw the trophies out....it is a cave waiting to happen, many times my quit has been saved by having to make a conscious effort to get the crap...

[QuittinTime]

Welcome aboard, Embarrassed. Just when you think your own story might be all your own, you find a site full of folks that are/were just like you. We/I, was/were, a scoundrel; lying, cheating, stealing time, love, energy from our loved ones (depleting our very souls)....all in the name of some fucking poison they make bug killer out of in a little round can with and shiny lid. Here, you will meet some of the finest friends you'll
ever come to know. The ones that will save your face and quite possibly your life. Congratulations on a wise choice to quit killing yourself. Very wise choice. The choice takes wisdom. Now getting the job done doesn't really take that much wisdom, just an iron fucking will, and the blood and gutz kind of passion to rid nicotine  tobacco from your life. You have to get pissed at it and kick some fucking ass, because if you don't, addiction waits quietly for your guard to fall and for you to become complacent in your quit and your resolve. Remember, any crack, any weakness, any void and the Nico-Bitch will dig her claws in deep and re-open the chasm of mindless allegience to the fucking nicotine-god. So, never bow down again. Hold your head up high, stand tall, and be proud that your quit for good. Make your mind, body, and soul a fortress, and call in backup when you need it....you WILL need it. Ramble, ramble, ramble...Crap, to many words....Just congrats and welcome. B)

[vh5150]

The hardest thing is making the decision to quit. It's like losing an old friend. Except tobacco is no friend, it's evil wrapped in a nice little can with a silver top. Glad you made the decision. Now comes the really hard part. We're all in this together, and if you need anything, send a pm.

[Rkymtnman]

Well I am now a Computer Engineer and I have two boys (3 and 5).

My boys always want soda and they see me drink it sometimes. Whenever I have it they ask for some. Well a month ago my youngest son got into my computer room (that I normally keep locked) and he saw my spit bottle (happened to be a coke bottle this time). Well I caught him right as he was putting it to his lips to take a drink!

At that moment I felt like the lowest piece of shit on this earth! I have 2 little guys that love me to death and this damn addiction is taking time away from them!

Damn bro - you sure you aren't me? I have a 9 year old son and a 6 year old daughter - that is about the ONLY difference. (and I'm not nearly the bad ass you SEALs are :))

My son got in to my "Dr. Pepper" once and got a good swig of spit. Turned green and was not a happy camper for the next couple hours.

well, maybe there is one other difference between our stories. I was the selfish dumb ass who KEPT CHEWING for another 2 years after that little charade. My wife nearly divorced me over that episode. I was such an ass it never even crossed my mind that I should quit after hurting my own son with this filthy addiction.

Welcome to the best decision you could make. I found this place late last December and if you let it - it WILL change your life and keep your ass clean.

Reach out if you need anything - you are definitely NOT alone and you most certainly CAN do this.

[Skoal Monster]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but if I am in the wrong place then Mods plaease move it.

I used to dip a can a day for 16 years.

It started when I was in SEAL training in 1993.

I would do a dip here and there when some of the other guys offered it.

Well I am now a Computer Engineer and I have two boys (3 and 5).

My boys always want soda and they see me drink it sometimes. Whenever I have it they ask for some. Well a month ago my youngest son got into my computer room (that I normally keep locked) and he saw my spit bottle (happened to be a coke bottle this time). Well I caught him right as he was putting it to his lips to take a drink!

At that moment I felt like the lowest piece of shit on this earth! I have 2 little guys that love me to death and this damn addiction is taking time away from them!

I read "the contract to give up" on another website and it really hit home about how I was being such a puss for not quitting.

So last Monday I decided to quit (my first time ever trying to quit) and I will not fail!

I rationalize quitting chew just like I did when I was in SEAL training and the instructors were trying to make class members quit. Whenever I have a craving or hit a trigger I say to myself "Fuck You" I will not go back to chewing EVER!!

The reason I chose the name embarrassed is because I was lying to my wife telling her that I only dip sometimes, etc... and I would not "man up" to the fact that I was addicted!

I still have and will continue to keep 3 brand new cans of Kodiak sitting in front of my computer screen to entice me to start dipping again. I have them there because for me it is a reminder/motivation for me that I can have one whenever I want, I just have to let down myself and my family.

Quitting is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I always rationalized it thinking I can quit whenever I want, but I am now realizing that it is much harder than I imagined because of the triggers/cravings.

Thanks for listening!

First you gotta throw those fucking trophy cans out. Either that or piss in em. You don't need that added temptation. Your not the first to try to hold onto a can and believe me it isnt the best way to do it.

2nd go to cancer and quitter stories and read the Tom and Jenny Kern Story. Then follow the link there to the caring bridge site and read the daily blogs from Jenny and her kids. THAT my nicotine addled friend is what your trying to avoid.

you can do this

SM

[loot]

welcome to the site bro

LOOT was just like you in many respects. we are all liars, cheats, and thieves because of our addictions.

sounds like you got your attitude right. keep it positive....even when it seems like you can't/shouldn't.

now...find your group and post roll every day. and really...reach out for help when you need it. PM LOOT anytime.

thanks for your service.

never again...for any reason.

[embarrassed]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but if I am in the wrong place then Mods plaease move it.

I used to dip a can a day for 16 years.

It started when I was in SEAL training in 1993.

I would do a dip here and there when some of the other guys offered it.

Well I am now a Computer Engineer and I have two boys (3 and 5).

My boys always want soda and they see me drink it sometimes. Whenever I have it they ask for some. Well a month ago my youngest son got into my computer room (that I normally keep locked) and he saw my spit bottle (happened to be a coke bottle this time). Well I caught him right as he was putting it to his lips to take a drink!

At that moment I felt like the lowest piece of shit on this earth! I have 2 little guys that love me to death and this damn addiction is taking time away from them!

I read "the contract to give up" on another website and it really hit home about how I was being such a puss for not quitting.

So last Monday I decided to quit (my first time ever trying to quit) and I will not fail!

I rationalize quitting chew just like I did when I was in SEAL training and the instructors were trying to make class members quit. Whenever I have a craving or hit a trigger I say to myself "Fuck You" I will not go back to chewing EVER!!

The reason I chose the name embarrassed is because I was lying to my wife telling her that I only dip sometimes, etc... and I would not "man up" to the fact that I was addicted!

I still have and will continue to keep 3 brand new cans of Kodiak sitting in front of my computer screen to entice me to start dipping again. I have them there because for me it is a reminder/motivation for me that I can have one whenever I want, I just have to let down myself and my family.

Quitting is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I always rationalized it thinking I can quit whenever I want, but I am now realizing that it is much harder than I imagined because of the triggers/cravings.

Thanks for listening!