18 days...the slog is on!!; Quitttttt

[CopeFiend]

Got the last of my tests done today...upper GI series (Barium tastes awful) and sonograms...I won't know the results until I return to the doctor on Tuesday, but I take it as a good sign that I didn't get a call today saying I think you better come in early there's some stuff we need to talk about.

Going to the dentist next week. I am scared stiff about this. I have not been to a dentist in 28 years...that's right 28 years. I take good care of the choppers...but was afraid to go while dipping. Now I have no idea what they'll find in there. Don't seem to have any sores or anything, but just thought it would be a good idea to go. we'll see.

Wow...28 years...

Brian

Wow Brian, I hope all the tests go well!! 'nuff said. And dentist too!

I put off going to the dentist for 12 years. Same reasons, well, except my wife talked me into going before I quit dipping. And, she didn't know I was dipping - man, I hit the can hard before that first visit and I kept whispering to the hygenist to not tell my wife that I was dipping. The wife was getting her teeth cleaned at the same time in the room next door. Well, the ninja dipping continued for another year before I got busted. The last dental appointment I had was 2 weeks ago. I did the Zoom teeth whitening as a reward for the quit. Yay!

Bottom line, the dentist will find what the dentist will find, and he or she will fix it. In my case, it was two fillings refilled and one getting infected and requiring a root canal and crown. Strangely enough, I've looked forward to going to the dentist the last 6 months because I've been able to say to him twice that I'm still quit!

[O.D.]

It has been fifteen years since I went to my military dentist. At first, it was just plain inconvient dealing with private insurance, finding a dentist, all that stuff that the military does for you. Soon, though, that excuse wore off. I was, and still am, just plain chicken of the dentist because of dip.

[bnlelliott]

Got the last of my tests done today...upper GI series (Barium tastes awful) and sonograms...I won't know the results until I return to the doctor on Tuesday, but I take it as a good sign that I didn't get a call today saying I think you better come in early there's some stuff we need to talk about.

Going to the dentist next week. I am scared stiff about this. I have not been to a dentist in 28 years...that's right 28 years. I take good care of the choppers...but was afraid to go while dipping. Now I have no idea what they'll find in there. Don't seem to have any sores or anything, but just thought it would be a good idea to go. we'll see.

Wow...28 years...

Brian

[bnlelliott]

Well...Day 52 coming. Day's 52 and 53 promise to be memorable days in my quit. Checked in at the Doctors office again today and he is not liking something that he sees in the esophagus and some of the things I'm telling him about upper GI...so tomorrow and Friday are tests.

Tomorrow mostly blood tests and a sonogram...Friday the upper GI thing where I have to fast and then drink the nasty crap while they are taking pics. Doc tells me it could be something as "innocent" as acid reflux...or hiatal (?) hernia...or it could be 33 years of Cope coming back for it's haunt...

We'll see...and I'll keep you all informed...I'm reasonably optimistic as is the doc. But here's to a great reason for me and for you all to STAY Quit.

[MikeCO]

I am at that place in my mind right now that going back seems impossible because I keep recounting everyday what it was like those first few days. Hopefully I'll keep that thought n mind.

Congrats with your success thus far Brian! I think you just spelled out EXACTLY how I feel (and others too I'd bet) about my quit. The fact that it's easier to remain quit than to fail and start all over whipping that ugly bitch into submission.....

Thanks,
Mike

[ScooterScum]

Day -43

Made it 6 weks so far...amazing, or at least it amazes me. I have found that it is the little things like a 6 week mark or even 40 days...just some kind of milestone that makes me happy...seems to take off the pressure.

I still seem to be doing the depression and anger thing right now. As of yesterday the doc wants me to keep fighting through it rather than medicate it. He says if I can do the cold turkey on nic, that I can fight this as well, and I think he is probably right. I have told him about this site and he has told me that he has several other guys that have been trying to quit without much success. He's going to give them my email address and maybe we can help them out as well. The doc seems impressed with what we have going here...says that peer pressure and accounability are the keys once someone really wants to quit.

I am at that place in my mind right now that going back seems impossible because I keep recounting everyday what it was like those first few days. Hopefully I'll keep that thought n mind.

Brian

Everyday is a milestone in my opinion, however, I tend to mark days that end in 0 as major milestones. I celebrated 10, 20, 30, 40 ..... 120 etc.. you get the picture. Quitting is something that we will be doing for the rest of our lives, so I think we each deserve a pat on the back for a job well done!!!

[bnlelliott]

Day -43

Made it 6 weks so far...amazing, or at least it amazes me. I have found that it is the little things like a 6 week mark or even 40 days...just some kind of milestone that makes me happy...seems to take off the pressure.

I still seem to be doing the depression and anger thing right now. As of yesterday the doc wants me to keep fighting through it rather than medicate it. He says if I can do the cold turkey on nic, that I can fight this as well, and I think he is probably right. I have told him about this site and he has told me that he has several other guys that have been trying to quit without much success. He's going to give them my email address and maybe we can help them out as well. The doc seems impressed with what we have going here...says that peer pressure and accounability are the keys once someone really wants to quit.

I am at that place in my mind right now that going back seems impossible because I keep recounting everyday what it was like those first few days. Hopefully I'll keep that thought n mind.

Brian

[bnlelliott]

Day 36...

Wow...I have put on the pounds. SkoalMonster just hit something in may 09 roll about smokeys weight loss solution. I'm not sure I am going to go there...but I need to do smoething. I have gained more than 20 pounds in 36 days.

My fault, I know. However, I'll deal with that once I have dealt with this. I spoke with my doctor...his recommendation was first things first...lose the snuff, then we'll lose the weight. Heading to Wal-Mart TONIGHT to buy about 4 pair of $9 size 38 waist (or should I say waste) jeans so I have clothes to wear for a while.

Doc says if I can beat the snuff devil, I can beat this too.

e mail, PM or ask for my number if you need anything guys...we'll get through this together!

Brian

[bnlelliott]

Thanks monster...by the way, I just went and checked out the may 09 page for the first time since Friday and that is a GREAT post you just out up. I appreciate it. I went in their lurking...and I was pretty good til I got back to Friday again!

Maybe I'll just leave Friday behind...beg everyone for their indulgence for a couple of days and start posting roll again myself tomorrow...maybe even tonight.

Thanks man

[Skoal Monster]

Thanks Monster...I'll be back...I just have to get my anger issues under control, and at this point I'm not sure if the answer is stay away so there is no danger...or get back in the middle of the fray and fight it. Right now it feels a little more comfortable staying away...but I also wonder if that isn't kind of CS if you know what I mean.

I'm quit and strong...someone said they were going to post roll for me...I don't know if they did or not...know you can count on me if you need anything PM or email anytime

Brian

Brian,
Im in your May group, I get why you left and I have some of the same anger issues. I read this yesterday and thought it was pretty interesting. What it made me think about is that as nic users we have not had to truly deal with our emotions for years. (22 in my case) Without it, we are re-learning how to handle conflict and life from a true perspective. I have been a absolute jerk to my wife and many others around me, Its put me into marriage counseling and onto anti anxiety drugs, AND I've ONLY been quit 56 days. I am learning how to deal with it. Thought it might help to know that anger as a trigger is common to alot of us, and its physiological as well as psychological. Hang tough and Stay quit


http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp

Justin

Hey Brian, yeah nmc has been posting for you, its good to know your still quit. Hermit up in here until your ready , We'll come and visit. Hell, I'll post with you

Skoal Monster 56 :)

[bnlelliott]

Thanks Monster...I'll be back...I just have to get my anger issues under control, and at this point I'm not sure if the answer is stay away so there is no danger...or get back in the middle of the fray and fight it. Right now it feels a little more comfortable staying away...but I also wonder if that isn't kind of CS if you know what I mean.

I'm quit and strong...someone said they were going to post roll for me...I don't know if they did or not...know you can count on me if you need anything PM or email anytime

Brian

Brian,
Im in your May group, I get why you left and I have some of the same anger issues. I read this yesterday and thought it was pretty interesting. What it made me think about is that as nic users we have not had to truly deal with our emotions for years. (22 in my case) Without it, we are re-learning how to handle conflict and life from a true perspective. I have been a absolute jerk to my wife and many others around me, Its put me into marriage counseling and onto anti anxiety drugs, AND I've ONLY been quit 56 days. I am learning how to deal with it. Thought it might help to know that anger as a trigger is common to alot of us, and its physiological as well as psychological. Hang tough and Stay quit


http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp

Justin

[Skoal Monster]

Brian,
Im in your May group, I get why you left and I have some of the same anger issues. I read this yesterday and thought it was pretty interesting. What it made me think about is that as nic users we have not had to truly deal with our emotions for years. (22 in my case) Without it, we are re-learning how to handle conflict and life from a true perspective. I have been a absolute jerk to my wife and many others around me, Its put me into marriage counseling and onto anti anxiety drugs, AND I've ONLY been quit 56 days. I am learning how to deal with it. Thought it might help to know that anger as a trigger is common to alot of us, and its physiological as well as psychological. Hang tough and Stay quit


http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp

Justin

[Ricko]

you know you and that is cool. keep quit and as your sign. says the decision has been made. your an awesome dude and your welcome to post in Feb 09 anytime you want. we are a bunch of mellow happy quitters except when I get pissed off because I really want a dip and cannot have one. that rarely happens but it does.
Happy Sunday

[bnlelliott]

Day -34..

No dreams last night...I was afraid that maybe they were going to be around for a while. Yesterday was a day full of yard work...fixing a sink, and doing some painting. In other words...honeydo's. Seemed to fare pretty well...even though this was the first day with a list of chores that I didn't have a dip in 33 years. The world didn't come to an end...what do ya know?

34 days and more than $300 saved!

Stay strong everyone.

Brian

[bnlelliott]

Day 33 is off and running. Had dip dreams again last night...this time it was my Mom and Grandma trying to get me back on?!? Wow. Other than at night I'm doing pretty well. Most of the craves can be kicked in about 30-45 seconds now with just a quick thought back to the morning.

I can tell you that I am going to miss my group...but I can't go back in there for a while. I have never been closer to caving than I have been inside the group the last few days. I don't need people coming in and screwing with my mind like that. I know that was not anybody's intent...but one of the things I have learned over the past 33 days is that anger is a huge trigger for me. 'bang head' My anger...even other people's anger. So, whether it is on here or anywhere else...I am still at the point where I just have to extricate myself from the situation when it comes up...especially when it comes from the outside.

I'll take anybody's support who wants to give it...but at this point I can't take it in any form. :wacko: Hopefully, after a few days I'll be able to come on back in, but right now I've got to let some things blow over.

Outernal...gettin close to 50 (maybe there?) congrats man...gooch, mrogers, done 12 right in front of me at 34...I've got your back...you ever need anything just email or PM I'm here...nmc, thanks for the help...I'll still see you at 50 in a couple of weeks. All the rest of May 09 thanks and keep at it. Hopefully some of the rest will back off in awhile...or my anger triggers will get better

By the way, 25  7 so far in the tourney...Cleveland State and Florida State are going to kill me though!

Brian