I am INKcogKNEEdough of the January 2015 class
I started dipping in Junior high school and have done so for about 30 years.( or 25 at least but more on that later). I remember my first dip vividly. At about 13, A friend gave it to me. I took it home and in order to hide from my mother and family decided to have it with my bath. Anyways, I put my first dip in, laid back my head on the back of the tub and promptly fell asleep to the pretty cool buzzed feeling . I woke up who knows how long later vomiting IN the tub from swallowing the juice in my sleep. HOW that led to 25-30 year habit is beyond me but it did. I have been quit this time for 12 full days in about 13 hours or so. I found this site somewhere around day three and really like it so far.
Like most all of us I have taken a break from dipping a number of times before. I once even managed to do something that I would qualify as "quitting" all on my own. Simply woke up one day and decided I didn't want to dip anymore and that I was done. That one lasted for a good 5 years before I went back.
I don't know if that makes me a precautionary tale (possibly) , just a dumbass(probably)..................... or both.
I don't know how many times during that five years I told myself "if you EVER have JUST one more dip you will NEVER be able to quit again” but now I am just trying to prove myself wrong one day at a time.
I think answering the 3 questions for all cavers is a very good idea. Even though I was not a member of KTC several years ago when I caved my answers to the questions are as follows.
1)What happened: After roughly 5 years dip free I started back up again and continued doing so for about 8 years or so.
2)Why did it happen: Thats a tough one in my mind.......I could blame it on my girlfriend at the time calling me up, dropping hints that she was going to kill herself, hanging up, not answering the phone and dissapppearing for 3 days. At the time that seemed like as good a reason as any to take her back(nic bitch not the girlfriend). Now looking back, not so much.
I could blame it on the addiction, but after 5 years clean I don't buy it( and dont think I ever did). I think I simply chose to go back to it plain and simple.
3) what will I do differntly: That time and everytime I tried to quit I did it all alone. I didn't share my dipping experience with anyone (ninja dipper is another term on here I have found I like and think is uber appropriate). So why would I even bother telling friends or family I am quitting. I am sure some of them know/knew I dipped but even now I would guess 85% of the people who know me would be shocked to learn that I dipped for 25 years or more. I won't tell them this time either......Why should I tell them? My mom doesn't know what quitting dipping is like has no clue. Nor does my boss, my sister, my brothers, my friends, my neighbors. What qualifies them to judge me on what I am going through? Thats where KTC comes in. A whole bunch of people who “get it”. Many who have come before me that I can look up to and follow whether they are 3 days or 3 years ahead of me. Many who will come behind me that I can hopefully help along their journey in some small way. At day 12 I hope there is a day sixer behind me looking at me and thinking 'I want to get there' just like I was 6 days ago.
At day 200 I want that same person to still be six days behind me and be thinking “ I followed and chased the right dude”. Thats the biggest difference.
Sorry I have rambled on and on. I am going to be here a long while, so you might as well find out now just how wordy I am sometimes. And by sometimes, I mean when I am awake. Take care fellow quitters, especially all my January 2015 quit brothers and sisters.
QUIT ON!!!!!
PS: this site DOES pay by the word right?
