Hello all,
I am starting my quit day today even though I joined yesterday. I must admit it is a hard thing to do since this is my fourth time to quit. I primarily dip to relieve stress in my life and the calm it provides...albeit temporary...gives me enough time to think out things and put things in perspective. I have cleared most of the stresses out of my life now that has caused me to dip. I said MOST, there is one stress I can't get rid of even though I KNOW I have to. The stress I am talking about is a girl. We have been friends, lovers, friends with benefits. I have gotten to know her and her daughters. She makes me smile a little bigger when we are together, she can make me smile by the simplest phone call or text when I am having a terrible day. I will do anything for her and her daughters. Those 2 little girls mean the world to me and they love me back even more. BUT she is also the reason I dip. I worry when we talk and I can tell she wants to tell me something but doesn't. I have told her how I feel and I can tell she feels the same way but for some reason won't say it. But it isn't that easy to say goodbye, even though I know I have to in order to make this quit stick. Last time I quit, she threw my can away and flushed the snuff down the toilet. She said if we were to be together she wasn't going to have me addicted to anything but her! So with her help I quit for almost a year. Then she left me. After a while she found me again, but she had changed. She wasn't the same girl I fell in love with so long ago, but I still carried feelings for her and still do to this day even though we are "just friends". Recently I told her I started dipping again (cause I never did it in front of her...ashamed), and her response was "I don't care if you dip or not". So I kept dipping, but decided yesterday that I am tired of depending on snuff.
So I am here to find help in quitting snuff. And a way to deal with stress WITHOUT snuff.