So, it is 3:30 a.m. and I just got home from work. I would normally take this time to check out some porn (i might need Kill the Porn when done with this chew stuff!!) and drink some adult beverages (might need Kill the booze also!!) All jokes aside, I am here posting on this website. I couldn't wait to get home and post how my day has been. As you might have noticed, I posted roll at 12:01 for Sunday, and added that "This Sucks". Not lying, this sucks!!! I will have to find another vice to keep me occupied. I am sure that I cleared the 3000 calorie mark with Werthers, butterscotch candy, Jolly Ranchers, and more. I am a little sick from all that candy. Might have to consider that Mountain chew stuff, for now. I have been drinking a ton of water. Probably drank a gallon, and sweated out a gallon and a half!! The reason I posted roll so quickly for Sunday, is because I have been thinking about chew about every 3 seconds, and for some reason, committing to quitting for a day makes it easier. So I had to get on quickly from my iPhone at work and commit to today. I will also admit, today was not easy hiding my frustration. I manage over 100 people a day, and keeping my cool was not an easy task. I need to remind myself to go back and apologize to Rachel, Steve A., Landon, Micheal, and Samantha.....not to mention my wife Michelle and daughter Berlyn. I know that my rages had a lot to do with the way I talked to them, and was uncalled for. Anyways, I would be lying to everyone to say that I didn't think about going and buying a can, and not telling anyone. Just continuing on and pretending it didn't happen. But, what would that solve? A temporary fix, and once again, I would be lying and deceiving everyone just like as if I didn't begin this journey. So, I didn't. I am going to keep posting what I am thinking and going through so that I can look back and remember what it was like, and know that I don't want to do this again. I posted yesterday about my daughter imitating me spitting, and I am going to post another reason I am quitting today. Once again, not for sympathy, but so "I" remember why I am doing this.
Reason #2 - In the past 8 months, my family has gone through a lot. I lost my job, was unemployed for some time, and accepted a job making significant amount of money less than I was. Through this, my family has remained united. We keep positive, and we love each other more each day. But, we are currently in the process of losing our home. We have lost our car already, and we continue down this downward spiral of financial burdens. But, how many times in the last 8 months did I go without a can of chew? How many times did I say to myself "we can't afford this?" NEVER!! I never went without my stupid habit so that I could afford things like a car or a home!!! What an insane thought process!! I can afford to spend $40 a week on something so selfish as chew, but we can not afford our car. Well, this is another reason I came to this site, and will commit to quitting for today.
Like Mthomas, I do think comedy is a great remedy to get through some desperate and dark times, so I am going to end on a little poem. Not a real, heartfelt poem, so a little stupid improv thing.
"There once was a man named Dave,
who never considered himself a slave,
Now he has chosen to quit,
all he wants is to spit,
and hoping to hell he doesn't cave"