Day 3 - Round 2

[Done4Me]

Happy Birthday Conbud...

Mr Bud - Indeed have an exceedingly happy birthday. Hope the fiance is taking good care of you. Oh to be 32 again...

[CavMan83]

Happy Birthday Conbud...

[dandago]

I was a alcoholic as well.. Keep going strong brother.. Kick that nic bitch in her face!!

[30isEnuff]

So, I'm sitting here at 2 weeks quit, reading over my ignorant, excuse filled intro, justifying, justifying... It's one of those days, I've been a year and 1/2 sober now (I work a very strong AA program to achieve that), 2 weeks nic free and for reasons unknown to me at this moment, which I will need to examine more deeply, all I want to do is get fucked up in some way. This is my addiction trying to kill me yet again. This does not happen often, and I have no real desire for any one drug at the moment, just simply an altered state, so that addiction has an open door way to set it hooks in me with whatever it can. Luckily, for me I have tools to beat this shit down, and I know this wave is going surge and energize the crave and the thoughts of my drugs of choice (booze and nic) throughout the day today.

It sucks and it's hard but I'm not scared because I am strong, I have support, I know the next right things to do. I have no reservations left in me that I can ever continue to use my drugs of choice. If I do they will lead me to do death, insanity, imprisonment, cancer, loss of self-worth and availability to others. I have recently discovered that I dearly love myself and my life and this is the keystone to my survival and beating down addiction. So that I can be available to my family and others around me, like you guys.

I have surrendered, and surrendering to me means doing it someone elses way (the KTC way in this case), and not doing it on my own anymore. Doing shit on my own is what got me using booze and chew in the first place. Self medicating... We build an awesome web of quit here, we're all a single link in that web holding each other together, and I'm very proud to be one link of that web. Together, with that web we can keep the nic whore at bay each day and never again have to experience the deep hooks she sets into us, drawing us back to her time and time again. Shortening our life with each and every chew we put in our face.

I'm sober and nic free with the support of people like you, a day at a time, and I'm ultimately grateful for that. You help me stay alive everyday. I'll power through today, and tomorrow is a new day.

Just writing this out - booze and nic has already lost a great deal of it's power. Talking through and writing out your struggles gives you amazing strength over your addiction.

Con this shit is hard.. you are doing a great job. Please let me know if I can help you put in any way. Proud as fuck to quit w you today.

Just worry about today brother. You got today. Enjoy it!

I think you get it brother con. Keep up the good work and use this for catharsis. You are winning. Breath it in. Stay vigilant.

nice word there doc, catharsis. Didn't know you had that in you. haha.

I saw a very wise person telling someone in the live chat to use the intro as a journal specially in tough situations. My sponsor is NY unavailable visiting family, my normal contacts were unavailable, luckily I met some new friends here on KTC that have been sober and nic free a long time and they happen to be available today. What a miracle all this is shaping up to be. Between my new friends here on KTC and writing out my shit it pulled me through another day. And, now I'm even stronger than before.

Thanks guys for your words... Proud to QLF with all you guys!

"Sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed  rearranged to relocate us to the place we are meant to be".

You can do this conbud...I promise You!
You're not alone and were not born with the poison in your mouth.
Do this ODAAT with the brotherhood and you'll "be quit".
I dipped thirty years, 1-2 cans a day. My life is totally better in every way.
Alcohol and nictoine took my Mom and her entire family. Nicotine took my dad. You're not here by accident. Your path is opening up...just keep quitting Today, just Today.
Welcome to the best of your life.

[Diesel2112]

So, I'm sitting here at 2 weeks quit, reading over my ignorant, excuse filled intro, justifying, justifying... It's one of those days, I've been a year and 1/2 sober now (I work a very strong AA program to achieve that), 2 weeks nic free and for reasons unknown to me at this moment, which I will need to examine more deeply, all I want to do is get fucked up in some way. This is my addiction trying to kill me yet again. This does not happen often, and I have no real desire for any one drug at the moment, just simply an altered state, so that addiction has an open door way to set it hooks in me with whatever it can. Luckily, for me I have tools to beat this shit down, and I know this wave is going surge and energize the crave and the thoughts of my drugs of choice (booze and nic) throughout the day today.

It sucks and it's hard but I'm not scared because I am strong, I have support, I know the next right things to do. I have no reservations left in me that I can ever continue to use my drugs of choice. If I do they will lead me to do death, insanity, imprisonment, cancer, loss of self-worth and availability to others. I have recently discovered that I dearly love myself and my life and this is the keystone to my survival and beating down addiction. So that I can be available to my family and others around me, like you guys.

I have surrendered, and surrendering to me means doing it someone elses way (the KTC way in this case), and not doing it on my own anymore. Doing shit on my own is what got me using booze and chew in the first place. Self medicating... We build an awesome web of quit here, we're all a single link in that web holding each other together, and I'm very proud to be one link of that web. Together, with that web we can keep the nic whore at bay each day and never again have to experience the deep hooks she sets into us, drawing us back to her time and time again. Shortening our life with each and every chew we put in our face.

I'm sober and nic free with the support of people like you, a day at a time, and I'm ultimately grateful for that. You help me stay alive everyday. I'll power through today, and tomorrow is a new day.

Just writing this out - booze and nic has already lost a great deal of it's power. Talking through and writing out your struggles gives you amazing strength over your addiction.

Con this shit is hard.. you are doing a great job. Please let me know if I can help you put in any way. Proud as fuck to quit w you today.

Just worry about today brother. You got today. Enjoy it!

I think you get it brother con. Keep up the good work and use this for catharsis. You are winning. Breath it in. Stay vigilant.

nice word there doc, catharsis. Didn't know you had that in you. haha.

I saw a very wise person telling someone in the live chat to use the intro as a journal specially in tough situations. My sponsor is NY unavailable visiting family, my normal contacts were unavailable, luckily I met some new friends here on KTC that have been sober and nic free a long time and they happen to be available today. What a miracle all this is shaping up to be. Between my new friends here on KTC and writing out my shit it pulled me through another day. And, now I'm even stronger than before.

Thanks guys for your words... Proud to QLF with all you guys!

"Sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed  rearranged to relocate us to the place we are meant to be".

[conbud]

So, I'm sitting here at 2 weeks quit, reading over my ignorant, excuse filled intro, justifying, justifying... It's one of those days, I've been a year and 1/2 sober now (I work a very strong AA program to achieve that), 2 weeks nic free and for reasons unknown to me at this moment, which I will need to examine more deeply, all I want to do is get fucked up in some way. This is my addiction trying to kill me yet again. This does not happen often, and I have no real desire for any one drug at the moment, just simply an altered state, so that addiction has an open door way to set it hooks in me with whatever it can. Luckily, for me I have tools to beat this shit down, and I know this wave is going surge and energize the crave and the thoughts of my drugs of choice (booze and nic) throughout the day today.

It sucks and it's hard but I'm not scared because I am strong, I have support, I know the next right things to do. I have no reservations left in me that I can ever continue to use my drugs of choice. If I do they will lead me to do death, insanity, imprisonment, cancer, loss of self-worth and availability to others. I have recently discovered that I dearly love myself and my life and this is the keystone to my survival and beating down addiction. So that I can be available to my family and others around me, like you guys.

I have surrendered, and surrendering to me means doing it someone elses way (the KTC way in this case), and not doing it on my own anymore. Doing shit on my own is what got me using booze and chew in the first place. Self medicating... We build an awesome web of quit here, we're all a single link in that web holding each other together, and I'm very proud to be one link of that web. Together, with that web we can keep the nic whore at bay each day and never again have to experience the deep hooks she sets into us, drawing us back to her time and time again. Shortening our life with each and every chew we put in our face.

I'm sober and nic free with the support of people like you, a day at a time, and I'm ultimately grateful for that. You help me stay alive everyday. I'll power through today, and tomorrow is a new day.

Just writing this out - booze and nic has already lost a great deal of it's power. Talking through and writing out your struggles gives you amazing strength over your addiction.

Con this shit is hard.. you are doing a great job. Please let me know if I can help you put in any way. Proud as fuck to quit w you today.

Just worry about today brother. You got today. Enjoy it!

I think you get it brother con. Keep up the good work and use this for catharsis. You are winning. Breath it in. Stay vigilant.

nice word there doc, catharsis. Didn't know you had that in you. haha.

I saw a very wise person telling someone in the live chat to use the intro as a journal specially in tough situations. My sponsor is NY unavailable visiting family, my normal contacts were unavailable, luckily I met some new friends here on KTC that have been sober and nic free a long time and they happen to be available today. What a miracle all this is shaping up to be. Between my new friends here on KTC and writing out my shit it pulled me through another day. And, now I'm even stronger than before.

Thanks guys for your words... Proud to QLF with all you guys!

[Doc Chewfree]

So, I'm sitting here at 2 weeks quit, reading over my ignorant, excuse filled intro, justifying, justifying... It's one of those days, I've been a year and 1/2 sober now (I work a very strong AA program to achieve that), 2 weeks nic free and for reasons unknown to me at this moment, which I will need to examine more deeply, all I want to do is get fucked up in some way. This is my addiction trying to kill me yet again. This does not happen often, and I have no real desire for any one drug at the moment, just simply an altered state, so that addiction has an open door way to set it hooks in me with whatever it can. Luckily, for me I have tools to beat this shit down, and I know this wave is going surge and energize the crave and the thoughts of my drugs of choice (booze and nic) throughout the day today.

It sucks and it's hard but I'm not scared because I am strong, I have support, I know the next right things to do. I have no reservations left in me that I can ever continue to use my drugs of choice. If I do they will lead me to do death, insanity, imprisonment, cancer, loss of self-worth and availability to others. I have recently discovered that I dearly love myself and my life and this is the keystone to my survival and beating down addiction. So that I can be available to my family and others around me, like you guys.

I have surrendered, and surrendering to me means doing it someone elses way (the KTC way in this case), and not doing it on my own anymore. Doing shit on my own is what got me using booze and chew in the first place. Self medicating... We build an awesome web of quit here, we're all a single link in that web holding each other together, and I'm very proud to be one link of that web. Together, with that web we can keep the nic whore at bay each day and never again have to experience the deep hooks she sets into us, drawing us back to her time and time again. Shortening our life with each and every chew we put in our face.

I'm sober and nic free with the support of people like you, a day at a time, and I'm ultimately grateful for that. You help me stay alive everyday. I'll power through today, and tomorrow is a new day.

Just writing this out - booze and nic has already lost a great deal of it's power. Talking through and writing out your struggles gives you amazing strength over your addiction.

Con this shit is hard.. you are doing a great job. Please let me know if I can help you put in any way. Proud as fuck to quit w you today.

Just worry about today brother. You got today. Enjoy it!

I think you get it brother con. Keep up the good work and use this for catharsis. You are winning. Breath it in. Stay vigilant.

[slinger]

So, I'm sitting here at 2 weeks quit, reading over my ignorant, excuse filled intro, justifying, justifying... It's one of those days, I've been a year and 1/2 sober now (I work a very strong AA program to achieve that), 2 weeks nic free and for reasons unknown to me at this moment, which I will need to examine more deeply, all I want to do is get fucked up in some way. This is my addiction trying to kill me yet again. This does not happen often, and I have no real desire for any one drug at the moment, just simply an altered state, so that addiction has an open door way to set it hooks in me with whatever it can. Luckily, for me I have tools to beat this shit down, and I know this wave is going surge and energize the crave and the thoughts of my drugs of choice (booze and nic) throughout the day today.

It sucks and it's hard but I'm not scared because I am strong, I have support, I know the next right things to do. I have no reservations left in me that I can ever continue to use my drugs of choice. If I do they will lead me to do death, insanity, imprisonment, cancer, loss of self-worth and availability to others. I have recently discovered that I dearly love myself and my life and this is the keystone to my survival and beating down addiction. So that I can be available to my family and others around me, like you guys.

I have surrendered, and surrendering to me means doing it someone elses way (the KTC way in this case), and not doing it on my own anymore. Doing shit on my own is what got me using booze and chew in the first place. Self medicating... We build an awesome web of quit here, we're all a single link in that web holding each other together, and I'm very proud to be one link of that web. Together, with that web we can keep the nic whore at bay each day and never again have to experience the deep hooks she sets into us, drawing us back to her time and time again. Shortening our life with each and every chew we put in our face.

I'm sober and nic free with the support of people like you, a day at a time, and I'm ultimately grateful for that. You help me stay alive everyday. I'll power through today, and tomorrow is a new day.

Just writing this out - booze and nic has already lost a great deal of it's power. Talking through and writing out your struggles gives you amazing strength over your addiction.

Con this shit is hard.. you are doing a great job. Please let me know if I can help you put in any way. Proud as fuck to quit w you today.

Just worry about today brother. You got today. Enjoy it!

You're doing great, brother. Keep up the good work. Proud to quit with you today.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

So, I'm sitting here at 2 weeks quit, reading over my ignorant, excuse filled intro, justifying, justifying... It's one of those days, I've been a year and 1/2 sober now (I work a very strong AA program to achieve that), 2 weeks nic free and for reasons unknown to me at this moment, which I will need to examine more deeply, all I want to do is get fucked up in some way. This is my addiction trying to kill me yet again. This does not happen often, and I have no real desire for any one drug at the moment, just simply an altered state, so that addiction has an open door way to set it hooks in me with whatever it can. Luckily, for me I have tools to beat this shit down, and I know this wave is going surge and energize the crave and the thoughts of my drugs of choice (booze and nic) throughout the day today.

It sucks and it's hard but I'm not scared because I am strong, I have support, I know the next right things to do. I have no reservations left in me that I can ever continue to use my drugs of choice. If I do they will lead me to do death, insanity, imprisonment, cancer, loss of self-worth and availability to others. I have recently discovered that I dearly love myself and my life and this is the keystone to my survival and beating down addiction. So that I can be available to my family and others around me, like you guys.

I have surrendered, and surrendering to me means doing it someone elses way (the KTC way in this case), and not doing it on my own anymore. Doing shit on my own is what got me using booze and chew in the first place. Self medicating... We build an awesome web of quit here, we're all a single link in that web holding each other together, and I'm very proud to be one link of that web. Together, with that web we can keep the nic whore at bay each day and never again have to experience the deep hooks she sets into us, drawing us back to her time and time again. Shortening our life with each and every chew we put in our face.

I'm sober and nic free with the support of people like you, a day at a time, and I'm ultimately grateful for that. You help me stay alive everyday. I'll power through today, and tomorrow is a new day.

Just writing this out - booze and nic has already lost a great deal of it's power. Talking through and writing out your struggles gives you amazing strength over your addiction.

Con this shit is hard.. you are doing a great job. Please let me know if I can help you put in any way. Proud as fuck to quit w you today.

Just worry about today brother. You got today. Enjoy it!

[E&C's Dad]

So, I'm sitting here at 2 weeks quit, reading over my ignorant, excuse filled intro, justifying, justifying... It's one of those days, I've been a year and 1/2 sober now (I work a very strong AA program to achieve that), 2 weeks nic free and for reasons unknown to me at this moment, which I will need to examine more deeply, all I want to do is get fucked up in some way. This is my addiction trying to kill me yet again. This does not happen often, and I have no real desire for any one drug at the moment, just simply an altered state, so that addiction has an open door way to set it hooks in me with whatever it can. Luckily, for me I have tools to beat this shit down, and I know this wave is going surge and energize the crave and the thoughts of my drugs of choice (booze and nic) throughout the day today.

It sucks and it's hard but I'm not scared because I am strong, I have support, I know the next right things to do. I have no reservations left in me that I can ever continue to use my drugs of choice. If I do they will lead me to do death, insanity, imprisonment, cancer, loss of self-worth and availability to others. I have recently discovered that I dearly love myself and my life and this is the keystone to my survival and beating down addiction. So that I can be available to my family and others around me, like you guys.

I have surrendered, and surrendering to me means doing it someone elses way (the KTC way in this case), and not doing it on my own anymore. Doing shit on my own is what got me using booze and chew in the first place. Self medicating... We build an awesome web of quit here, we're all a single link in that web holding each other together, and I'm very proud to be one link of that web. Together, with that web we can keep the nic whore at bay each day and never again have to experience the deep hooks she sets into us, drawing us back to her time and time again. Shortening our life with each and every chew we put in our face.

I'm sober and nic free with the support of people like you, a day at a time, and I'm ultimately grateful for that. You help me stay alive everyday. I'll power through today, and tomorrow is a new day.

Just writing this out - booze and nic has already lost a great deal of it's power. Talking through and writing out your struggles gives you amazing strength over your addiction.

Con this shit is hard.. you are doing a great job. Please let me know if I can help you put in any way. Proud as fuck to quit w you today.

[conbud]

So, I'm sitting here at 2 weeks quit, reading over my ignorant, excuse filled intro, justifying, justifying... It's one of those days, I've been a year and 1/2 sober now (I work a very strong AA program to achieve that), 2 weeks nic free and for reasons unknown to me at this moment, which I will need to examine more deeply, all I want to do is get fucked up in some way. This is my addiction trying to kill me yet again. This does not happen often, and I have no real desire for any one drug at the moment, just simply an altered state, so that addiction has an open door way to set it hooks in me with whatever it can. Luckily, for me I have tools to beat this shit down, and I know this wave is going surge and energize the crave and the thoughts of my drugs of choice (booze and nic) throughout the day today.

It sucks and it's hard but I'm not scared because I am strong, I have support, I know the next right things to do. I have no reservations left in me that I can ever continue to use my drugs of choice. If I do they will lead me to do death, insanity, imprisonment, cancer, loss of self-worth and availability to others. I have recently discovered that I dearly love myself and my life and this is the keystone to my survival and beating down addiction. So that I can be available to my family and others around me, like you guys.

I have surrendered, and surrendering to me means doing it someone elses way (the KTC way in this case), and not doing it on my own anymore. Doing shit on my own is what got me using booze and chew in the first place. Self medicating... We build an awesome web of quit here, we're all a single link in that web holding each other together, and I'm very proud to be one link of that web. Together, with that web we can keep the nic whore at bay each day and never again have to experience the deep hooks she sets into us, drawing us back to her time and time again. Shortening our life with each and every chew we put in our face.

I'm sober and nic free with the support of people like you, a day at a time, and I'm ultimately grateful for that. You help me stay alive everyday. I'll power through today, and tomorrow is a new day.

Just writing this out - booze and nic has already lost a great deal of it's power. Talking through and writing out your struggles gives you amazing strength over your addiction.

[conbud]

Yeah, you could call it normalcy... Bad day, no one to talk to or reach out to about this. At that moment of time caving was the easier option. I put that first chew in and it was a bit disgusting but then the all too familiar feelings of ease and calm set in. The old lost friend being back and everything in the world was right again. And, no absolutely not great at all, it quit being great about an hour after I put it in... But the addictive mind is powerful, cunning, baffling. Life finally became more of a struggle and unpleasant with chew than it was without... So here I am again.

I got the double whammy and also go to AA, been a year and half sober now. I tried to apply AA techniques to chewing, but as I recently found each addiction has it's own uniqueness to it. And, its best to not mix the recovery of the two between each other. It's amazingly wonderful this site is here for the insane amount of info, support, and accountability.

Could you explain the roll call quit group? I read up on it but I'm still a little confused on how that works. Would I post to the "Pre HOF May 2014 Roll Call" quit group? I'm one of those people that really need accountability or I allow the excuses and lies to deviate me.

Are you powerless over alcohol?..... Are you powerless over nicotine? You are an addict, period. You have a disease, you will have the disease of addiction until the day that you die, regardless if it's an addiction to alcohol or nicotine.

Good job at posting roll. Don't stop, have your ass here every single day, join in discussions, join live chat, read everything on KTC and most importantly DO NOT CAVE!

You're absolutely right. However, what I meant by this is when you get into the rooms of AA no one wants to hear about your nicotine issues. They are there to focus on and to get help for their main addiction. That was my initial group or place I turned to when having chew cravings or the mental games were going on... which didn't turn out to well, they didn't wanna hear it. They had "bigger issues", than my "tobacco problems". I didn't know this site and support existed until just recently, so now I have all of you here for support/understanding when it comes to chewing.

Thanks everyone for your info and support. I've changed "hope" to WILL. And, I don't wanna be a doosh. I'm staying married to my quit!

[rtpope]

Why was that? A search for "normalcy" again? Did you find it? Did going back to the can after 90 days make everything "ok" again? I'm serious in asking this question, as I often wonder. I guess it couldn't have been too great if your back to quitting again.

Yeah, you could call it normalcy... Bad day, no one to talk to or reach out to about this. At that moment of time caving was the easier option. I put that first chew in and it was a bit disgusting but then the all too familiar feelings of ease and calm set in. The old lost friend being back and everything in the world was right again. And, no absolutely not great at all, it quit being great about an hour after I put it in... But the addictive mind is powerful, cunning, baffling. Life finally became more of a struggle and unpleasant with chew than it was without... So here I am again.

I got the double whammy and also go to AA, been a year and half sober now. I tried to apply AA techniques to chewing, but as I recently found each addiction has it's own uniqueness to it. And, its best to not mix the recovery of the two between each other. It's amazingly wonderful this site is here for the insane amount of info, support, and accountability.

Could you explain the roll call quit group? I read up on it but I'm still a little confused on how that works. Would I post to the "Pre HOF May 2014 Roll Call" quit group? I'm one of those people that really need accountability or I allow the excuses and lies to deviate me.

Great honest answer. Sounds like being married and then cheating on your wife.
Might feel good to bang an old whore for a bit. But the minute you bust a nut, you realize you're a doosh and shame, regret and the reality of you're fuck up sets in.

Don't be a Fucking doosh. Stay married to your quit.

Diesel puts this perfectly. Don't be a doosh. And thanks for honestly answering his questions. You made my quit stronger today. Proud to be quit w you today

[Grady]

Yeah, you could call it normalcy... Bad day, no one to talk to or reach out to about this. At that moment of time caving was the easier option. I put that first chew in and it was a bit disgusting but then the all too familiar feelings of ease and calm set in. The old lost friend being back and everything in the world was right again. And, no absolutely not great at all, it quit being great about an hour after I put it in... But the addictive mind is powerful, cunning, baffling. Life finally became more of a struggle and unpleasant with chew than it was without... So here I am again.

I got the double whammy and also go to AA, been a year and half sober now. I tried to apply AA techniques to chewing, but as I recently found each addiction has it's own uniqueness to it. And, its best to not mix the recovery of the two between each other. It's amazingly wonderful this site is here for the insane amount of info, support, and accountability.

Could you explain the roll call quit group? I read up on it but I'm still a little confused on how that works. Would I post to the "Pre HOF May 2014 Roll Call" quit group? I'm one of those people that really need accountability or I allow the excuses and lies to deviate me.

Are you powerless over alcohol?..... Are you powerless over nicotine? You are an addict, period. You have a disease, you will have the disease of addiction until the day that you die, regardless if it's an addiction to alcohol or nicotine.

Good job at posting roll. Don't stop, have your ass here every single day, join in discussions, join live chat, read everything on KTC and most importantly DO NOT CAVE!

[chewie]

This time I hope to do things differently

'Popcorn'

Hope will have your ass back to the category of ACTIVE addict in no time.

Lose the chickenshit words from your vocabulary.

WILL...there is a good word. Try it out sunshine.

Hope is not a strategy... change that vocabulary.

http://blog.killthecan.org/2009/12/chan ... ocabulary/