What got you to quit? I understand you can't make someone quit who isn't ready. But something got everyone on this site to make that decision. I've read lots of stories about alcoholics who seek help after they've hit rock bottom -- like waking up in the gutter or losing their job or something. What is it that makes someone kick tobacco? SOMETHING got all of you to make the choice to get help. What was it? Should I try to get his twin brother or sister to talk to him? I can't just stand by and watch my son slowly kill himself.
There definitely isn't one answer to that question. If you read through the Intro pages here, you'll find a bunch of different catalysts that led to people posting here. I've seen everything from a cancer scare to trying to give it up for Lent. I think for many of us, we just got tired of the constant cycle of addiction, lying, hiding, wasting money and giving up control.
I can't tell you what will prompt your son to quit, but I can tell you what won't. Fear, outside pressure, nagging, trying to please friends and family. All of those things might be a catalyst, but if the underlying desire to be quit isn't there, it isn't going to happen.
I do have an idea though. Make a bet with him. Posting Roll is the quit program here and basically it's a promise not to use any nicotine product for one day. We use 100 days as the first major milestone, so that might be a good place to start. Bet him to create an account and post roll with us here for 100 days straight. Offer up a prize that will catch his interest and put no conditions on it other than he post roll every day for 100 days. At the end of 100 days, follow up on your end of the bet. You don't tell him he has to quit forever, don't get preachy or dramatic, just appeal to his competitive side and make a wager.
What you're hoping to see is that somewhere along those 100 days he actually discovers that he wants it. It's possible that on day 101, he goes right back to the can, but what that means is that he truly wasn't ready to quit and there was nothing you could have done anyway.
I will warn you that it won't be pretty. If he comes in here with a "I'm only here because my mommy said she'd buy me a pony" he's going to get straightened out right quick. This community is serious about quitting and we only accept people who are serious. His choice will be to get serious or fail. He will also have to have some integrity and put some value behind his word. Dishonesty is completely unacceptable here and he needs to know that going into it.
Anyway, that's my idea. See if you can at least get him in the door and maybe he'll discover along the way that it really is time to quit.
