The suck has been hard today. Throat sore, find myself chewing on the inside of mouth subconsciously. Seems that she has been on my mind most of the day. But I understand that I have been cheating on my wife and family with this home wrecker. I could have had many more happy hours with my family.. my son that I lost and miss so much. Its just hard. But each time I had a mouth full of that shit, I was not communicating with the ones that I love. I was with the one that I was infatuated with instead. I feel ashamed having spent so much time with what I see as a disease ridden whore.
Concerning your addiction, it is important to remember as hard as it is, that the past is done. Do not beat yourself up for missing time with your family, because there is nothing that can be done to change the past. I am very sorry for your loss as well. I will not pretend to be in your situation, but please accept my condolences.
We do understand how you feel though, most of us have or will have wondered how our lives would be different if we had not been addicts. I was not a "ninja" but I can't count how many times I left my family to spend time with the bitch. Let alone the 100's of thousands of dollars spent feeding the very same addiction that could have killed me. But once again, dwelling on this subject will not do any good (a little reflection is ok as that can be a motivator to hate the poison that took you away from your life).
Think of today, today you won! Today you slammed your fist on the table and said NO! Today you posted roll and let the world know that you were taking your life back. Today you said 'Finger' to that disease ridden whore!
Yesterday is done
Tomorrow is just a dream
Today I will control my actions and take my life back
I quit with you today Emulator
