Today is day 8, I've been reading things here for about 2 weeks after a relative turned me here who is a member. I am 26 years old, and have chewed since I was 20. I started on long leaf, then to pouches, and then nothing but snuff, about 3 cans a week. I have known I had a problem for a while, and wanted to quit but haven't. I am now. I want to thank my relative for sending me here, I think I will be able to hold on to my resolve this way. I felt like I didn't need to join, I could do it without, but I was texting my uncle everyday to tell him I was still quit, if I didn't he would text me. That is similar to role call as I understand it, so here I am.
I am new to forums, I just never did this sort of thing, so bare with me as I try to navigate and do role call, if I can't figure it out, Ill still post something.....
Hopefully I will see my dad here soon. He quit once before for a long time....Then I started, and we had a dip together one day. Then I saw a can in the garage one day at his house, and I see it has increased a lot since then, and that is partially my fault.
So I quit July 1st, his birthday, while he was on vacation. He got back Sunday. Today I told him I quit, and he needs to also. I am hoping since he did once, he will again if I do, we can do this together, then I can fix it.
Don't get me wrong, I am quitting for me, I have to, before its to late, but I feel like I need to for him to be able to, and of course my wife, who has put up with it, and been silent, though her facial expressions sometimes told it all.
Like the time my landlord asked us to stop in, we're within shouting distance, and they were grilling with their family. I hid that I dipped because it embarrassed me around certain people, it made me feel dumb. Well I thought I could hide it, and then they offered me a fork of meat right of the grill to try, one of those quick "here try this" and I couldn't cause I had to spit my dip out first, which I couldn't do on his side walk, in front of his grandkids, and their parents. I had to refuse, and he looked at me like I was weird, and then it clicked to him. He and my wife just looked at me like some silly disgusting thing, just standing there.....I could tell she was more embarrassed than me, saying to herself, "this one time, you couldn't just not have one"
I know that story may sound silly to some, but its one of those, you had to be there.....I felt like an idiot, and think of it every time I'm around that family now.
This bring me to my next issue, I have had mild symptoms of quitting, compared to what I've read on here, mostly bad craves, but the worst are like chew memories. When Im driving, or working, zoned out, I am remembering specific days or events I chewed. Days which I would never think about other wise. Try to think of every day for the last 3 weeks....they're a little foggy right, you can't possibly remember every mundane detail of your life. Yet I am remembering mundane events in my past life that I had a dip in for. It's strange, something just triggers it. It tell you how potent this stuff is, and the hold it gets on your brain. It doesn't make me want one any more than usual, but I am just thinking about it. Has anyone ever experienced this?
