For you guest and lurkers, a short reading from a post in Oct 20 group on placing appropriate purpose on why we quit - why we really quit.
(W/ some minor edits)
BMC 995
Welcome mtrentin.
Just a quick comment about your day 2 post. Make sure you are quitting for the right reason. While sacrificing your own needs for your family or others is a noble endeavor, it may not serve a purpose when it comes to quitting dip.
Your wife and children or loved ones will not be the ones who have to suffer the withdrawals, are not the ones who drove to the c-store 4 hours after you swore off dipping, they are not the ones who stuffed cat shit in your face.
They are not the ones who will crawl and slog through the gaunlet of anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, over eating, mind-fuckery, the shakes, and the obstacles and challenges that are associated with quitting. They will not be the ones seeking clarity in the fog. They will not be the ones who'll want to sink in the mire when the bitch puts a death grip around your ankles and pulls you down.
Nor will it be your family who needs to text a fellow quitter in a far off land somewhere across the country when you need a little support. It will not be your family who feels the subtle and cautious pride of a hundred days quit. It will not be your family who writes your HOF speech, or advances t the 2nd floor, or getting that solid year of quit in the rear view. It will not be your family who wants - at times - to say fuck it while you search for a higher resolution when MEANING and truth become pixelated.
It will be YOU.
BMC 992 - Father of 4, one on the way, 15 years married.
I quit for none of them.
I stay quit for none of them.
My quit is my own.
For some fucking reason i decided to go back and read some of my own stuff,and came across this post from 7 months ago. It's related to the "why" of quitting.
To update you, i talked to the guy last week. He still smokes, and he still talks about Chantix. [/i]
(Posted from 12/15/19)
Last night (12/14/19) I was at a work retreat dinner high up in the Idaho mountains when I stepped outside to get some fresh, zero degree night air.
As it happens couple of smokers came out as well. I overhear one of my work buddies, talking about how he is getting on chantix and quitting in two weeks.
Since it was quit talk, I listened a little closer and something about what he said about why was quitting caught my attention. I wander over there and ask 'so, Tony, why are you quitting?'. And he goes something like, 'aw, I gotta quit for my wife and my kids. They want me to quit.'. And he says this sincerely wanting to quit for them.
And I get to thinking about why we preach here that if you are going to be successful, you must quit for yourself and ONLY yourself.
Think about it - all the withdrawals of quitting like the fog, the anxiety, quick anger, the depression, the grind, the lack of motivation, the agony and the utter misery you feel while quitting will be placed at the feet of those you are quitting for.
This will cause resentment and contempt - and possibly you'll rage against those you care for because in your twisted addict brain you'll blame them for the misery.
You must quit for you. This is your quit and no one else's. This is your trial and no one else's. You dug the hole you are in and you must climb your way out.
It is not easy but quitters before you know the way out. That is why brotherhood is important here
Since this is your quit, remember that you are in the driver's seat. Also know that you can do this because you have the power.
So, go ahead and be a badass today. Walk a little taller. Hold your head up high. You're quit now, and you are doing it for yourself and for yourself only.
And if you are a guest reading this, quit for YOU and you only. That there is the best reason to quit.
BMC 799 ODAAT.
