Husker connections

[Phil16]

Today is my HOF day. 100 days ago Lord I turned to you with tears streaming down my face, holding up your cross aloft, saying I can not quit without you. I am not strong enough to fight off this demon alone. I am nothing without you.

Lord, you answered my prayers and carried my cross when I was too weak. When I felt alone, depressed, defeated you picked me up.

Six days after I quit Lord you turned me to KTC and showed me I am not alone. Lord you are most happy when we show love and kindness to each other. On bended knee I thank you Lord for all you have done for me.

Brothers on KTC thank you for your help. God Bless.

When I wrote that 31 days ago I wanted to place into my intro but was afraid of the reaction of others. I did place it into the verse of the week instead, but I felt like Peter denying Jesus. Fixed


As I near my wedding May 18th, I looked back on my intro. I wrote about my addictive mind and the planned cave due to the "stress". I am so much stronger in my quit now. I have only the fear of the marriage 'crackup' to deal with. I have the support and the tools to overcome any craves that may crop up.

When this quit journey started, the craves were like the Andes. Long time to go around them. Slowly, the craves were easier to pass by, now they are mere road bumps. Only dangerous if I am not aware of them and drive too fast (miss roll call).
Thank you again and again for all the help I have received from KTC.

Good stuff there brother. Glad to be quit with you.

Never be afraid of giving Him credit (I know your not), don't let others reaction hinder you. My story is similar to yours I can not deny the fact that I was led to KTC.

Proud to quit with you Omaha! Glad to call u brother.

[Wt57]

Today is my HOF day. 100 days ago Lord I turned to you with tears streaming down my face, holding up your cross aloft, saying I can not quit without you. I am not strong enough to fight off this demon alone. I am nothing without you.

Lord, you answered my prayers and carried my cross when I was too weak. When I felt alone, depressed, defeated you picked me up.

Six days after I quit Lord you turned me to KTC and showed me I am not alone. Lord you are most happy when we show love and kindness to each other. On bended knee I thank you Lord for all you have done for me.

Brothers on KTC thank you for your help. God Bless.

When I wrote that 31 days ago I wanted to place into my intro but was afraid of the reaction of others. I did place it into the verse of the week instead, but I felt like Peter denying Jesus. Fixed


As I near my wedding May 18th, I looked back on my intro. I wrote about my addictive mind and the planned cave due to the "stress". I am so much stronger in my quit now. I have only the fear of the marriage 'crackup' to deal with. I have the support and the tools to overcome any craves that may crop up.

When this quit journey started, the craves were like the Andes. Long time to go around them. Slowly, the craves were easier to pass by, now they are mere road bumps. Only dangerous if I am not aware of them and drive too fast (miss roll call).
Thank you again and again for all the help I have received from KTC.

Good stuff there brother. Glad to be quit with you.

Never be afraid of giving Him credit (I know your not), don't let others reaction hinder you. My story is similar to yours I can not deny the fact that I was led to KTC.

[srans]

Today is my HOF day. 100 days ago Lord I turned to you with tears streaming down my face, holding up your cross aloft, saying I can not quit without you. I am not strong enough to fight off this demon alone. I am nothing without you.

Lord, you answered my prayers and carried my cross when I was too weak. When I felt alone, depressed, defeated you picked me up.

Six days after I quit Lord you turned me to KTC and showed me I am not alone. Lord you are most happy when we show love and kindness to each other. On bended knee I thank you Lord for all you have done for me.

Brothers on KTC thank you for your help. God Bless.

When I wrote that 31 days ago I wanted to place into my intro but was afraid of the reaction of others. I did place it into the verse of the week instead, but I felt like Peter denying Jesus. Fixed


As I near my wedding May 18th, I looked back on my intro. I wrote about my addictive mind and the planned cave due to the "stress". I am so much stronger in my quit now. I have only the fear of the marriage 'crackup' to deal with. I have the support and the tools to overcome any craves that may crop up.

When this quit journey started, the craves were like the Andes. Long time to go around them. Slowly, the craves were easier to pass by, now they are mere road bumps. Only dangerous if I am not aware of them and drive too fast (miss roll call).
Thank you again and again for all the help I have received from KTC.

Good stuff there brother. Glad to be quit with you.

[omahaflyer]

Today is my HOF day. 100 days ago Lord I turned to you with tears streaming down my face, holding up your cross aloft, saying I can not quit without you. I am not strong enough to fight off this demon alone. I am nothing without you.

Lord, you answered my prayers and carried my cross when I was too weak. When I felt alone, depressed, defeated you picked me up.

Six days after I quit Lord you turned me to KTC and showed me I am not alone. Lord you are most happy when we show love and kindness to each other. On bended knee I thank you Lord for all you have done for me.

Brothers on KTC thank you for your help. God Bless.

When I wrote that 31 days ago I wanted to place into my intro but was afraid of the reaction of others. I did place it into the verse of the week instead, but I felt like Peter denying Jesus. Fixed


As I near my wedding May 18th, I looked back on my intro. I wrote about my addictive mind and the planned cave due to the "stress". I am so much stronger in my quit now. I have only the fear of the marriage 'crackup' to deal with. I have the support and the tools to overcome any craves that may crop up.

When this quit journey started, the craves were like the Andes. Long time to go around them. Slowly, the craves were easier to pass by, now they are mere road bumps. Only dangerous if I am not aware of them and drive too fast (miss roll call).
Thank you again and again for all the help I have received from KTC.

[omahaflyer]

A shout out to all my April BB2 quit brothers as we have reached/reaching a quit milestone. Thank you, just seeing your names day after day on the roll have aided me in countless ways. Yes, we tend to be a quiet group, not much drama in our family. For that I am thankful. I do realize that "drama" does help shift our focus away from the addiction for a short time.

We have come together, joined forces to battle our addiction. We are making our first stop on a endless journey. Scary ? The unknown can be, what is known is that we have learned to rely on each other for support and together we are a unbeatable combination.
Again thank you all.

[omahaflyer]

Thank you for clearing that up, very appreciative. God Bless

[cbird65]

Ok, day 46. had heart to hearts with a couple of members. Funny, how strangers are more apt to open up to each other and share feelings. Nice if the world was more like this. Enough of the hugfest. It is offical, I am old, diagnosed with hypertension,blood pressure pills. High blood pressure for someone who has the world by the balls. How will I handle the marriage and two teenage boys? I am thinking the same as my quit, one day at a time and alot of help from the Lord. I am very fatigued, wake up and yawning two hrs later. Craves: a few, fake has helped. I have made an effort not imagine the things associated with chew. Prior fails, I have thought about the taste,feel,smell etc. IMO this has lessened the amount and duration of my craves. I also make the sign of the cross when I have a thought about chew, asking for strength and hearty thank you if it has been a long time since chew crossed my mind. I get scared when I read about vets that have caved after hundereds of days. Luckily for me they have come back, payed their penance and I can profit from their mistakes. One day at a time on my honor.

Omaha-hang in there, bro! You are doing great ODAAT. Keep the faith and stay quit.

At all costs protect your quit. If you are basing your success on some vet you are doomed for failure. Also, what is the common thread with all failed quits - they stopped posting roll thus removing any accountability from themselves or to their brothers. That is the truest definition of a planned fail. I think we should remove the word cave from our vocabulary as it can be misconstrued as an accident. It just happened to me- it caved in - I didn't do anything.... well there you go - you doing nothing is part of the fricken problem

We are accountable for our decisions and my decision is to be quit. You with me?

By all means I am with you in being quit. The rest of your message has left me scratching my head as it relates to my post. I agree that the only " person " I can rely on is myself. I understand your reasoning for eliminating the word cave from our (quitters) vocabulary. On the other side of this coin it could be debated that not saying or writing the word cave will not make failures disappear.
What I wrote is also a snippet in the fabric of my quit. What will my thoughts be in 25 50 100 days ? I do not know either. With the grace of God I will be quit.

maybe my message wasn't clear - very little sleep last night. My point was donÂ’t put too much weight into older quitters who failed - let it piss you off that they didnÂ’t fully utilize the tools and support this site has to offer but nothing else.
The Lord will lift and support your soul but you will need to do the heavy lifting down here on this earthly sojourn. Continue to sharpen the skills and tools of being quit. Post every damned day and take nicotine off the table and add another nail to her coffin.

[omahaflyer]

Ok, day 46. had heart to hearts with a couple of members. Funny, how strangers are more apt to open up to each other and share feelings. Nice if the world was more like this. Enough of the hugfest. It is offical, I am old, diagnosed with hypertension,blood pressure pills. High blood pressure for someone who has the world by the balls. How will I handle the marriage and two teenage boys? I am thinking the same as my quit, one day at a time and alot of help from the Lord. I am very fatigued, wake up and yawning two hrs later. Craves: a few, fake has helped. I have made an effort not imagine the things associated with chew. Prior fails, I have thought about the taste,feel,smell etc. IMO this has lessened the amount and duration of my craves. I also make the sign of the cross when I have a thought about chew, asking for strength and hearty thank you if it has been a long time since chew crossed my mind. I get scared when I read about vets that have caved after hundereds of days. Luckily for me they have come back, payed their penance and I can profit from their mistakes. One day at a time on my honor.

Omaha-hang in there, bro! You are doing great ODAAT. Keep the faith and stay quit.

At all costs protect your quit. If you are basing your success on some vet you are doomed for failure. Also, what is the common thread with all failed quits - they stopped posting roll thus removing any accountability from themselves or to their brothers. That is the truest definition of a planned fail. I think we should remove the word cave from our vocabulary as it can be misconstrued as an accident. It just happened to me- it caved in - I didn't do anything.... well there you go - you doing nothing is part of the fricken problem

We are accountable for our decisions and my decision is to be quit. You with me?

By all means I am with you in being quit. The rest of your message has left me scratching my head as it relates to my post. I agree that the only " person " I can rely on is myself. I understand your reasoning for eliminating the word cave from our (quitters) vocabulary. On the other side of this coin it could be debated that not saying or writing the word cave will not make failures disappear.
What I wrote is also a snippet in the fabric of my quit. What will my thoughts be in 25 50 100 days ? I do not know either. With the grace of God I will be quit.

[cbird65]

Ok, day 46. had heart to hearts with a couple of members. Funny, how strangers are more apt to open up to each other and share feelings. Nice if the world was more like this. Enough of the hugfest. It is offical, I am old, diagnosed with hypertension,blood pressure pills. High blood pressure for someone who has the world by the balls. How will I handle the marriage and two teenage boys? I am thinking the same as my quit, one day at a time and alot of help from the Lord. I am very fatigued, wake up and yawning two hrs later. Craves: a few, fake has helped. I have made an effort not imagine the things associated with chew. Prior fails, I have thought about the taste,feel,smell etc. IMO this has lessened the amount and duration of my craves. I also make the sign of the cross when I have a thought about chew, asking for strength and hearty thank you if it has been a long time since chew crossed my mind. I get scared when I read about vets that have caved after hundereds of days. Luckily for me they have come back, payed their penance and I can profit from their mistakes. One day at a time on my honor.

Omaha-hang in there, bro! You are doing great ODAAT. Keep the faith and stay quit.

At all costs protect your quit. If you are basing your success on some vet you are doomed for failure. Also, what is the common thread with all failed quits - they stopped posting roll thus removing any accountability from themselves or to their brothers. That is the truest definition of a planned fail. I think we should remove the word cave from our vocabulary as it can be misconstrued as an accident. It just happened to me- it caved in - I didn't do anything.... well there you go - you doing nothing is part of the fricken problem

We are accountable for our decisions and my decision is to be quit. You with me?

[Phil16]

Ok, day 46. had heart to hearts with a couple of members. Funny, how strangers are more apt to open up to each other and share feelings. Nice if the world was more like this. Enough of the hugfest. It is offical, I am old, diagnosed with hypertension,blood pressure pills. High blood pressure for someone who has the world by the balls. How will I handle the marriage and two teenage boys? I am thinking the same as my quit, one day at a time and alot of help from the Lord. I am very fatigued, wake up and yawning two hrs later. Craves: a few, fake has helped. I have made an effort not imagine the things associated with chew. Prior fails, I have thought about the taste,feel,smell etc. IMO this has lessened the amount and duration of my craves. I also make the sign of the cross when I have a thought about chew, asking for strength and hearty thank you if it has been a long time since chew crossed my mind. I get scared when I read about vets that have caved after hundereds of days. Luckily for me they have come back, payed their penance and I can profit from their mistakes. One day at a time on my honor.

Omaha-hang in there, bro! You are doing great ODAAT. Keep the faith and stay quit.

[omahaflyer]

Ok, day 46. had heart to hearts with a couple of members. Funny, how strangers are more apt to open up to each other and share feelings. Nice if the world was more like this. Enough of the hugfest. It is offical, I am old, diagnosed with hypertension,blood pressure pills. High blood pressure for someone who has the world by the balls. How will I handle the marriage and two teenage boys? I am thinking the same as my quit, one day at a time and alot of help from the Lord. I am very fatigued, wake up and yawning two hrs later. Craves: a few, fake has helped. I have made an effort not imagine the things associated with chew. Prior fails, I have thought about the taste,feel,smell etc. IMO this has lessened the amount and duration of my craves. I also make the sign of the cross when I have a thought about chew, asking for strength and hearty thank you if it has been a long time since chew crossed my mind. I get scared when I read about vets that have caved after hundereds of days. Luckily for me they have come back, payed their penance and I can profit from their mistakes. One day at a time on my honor.

[omahaflyer]

Some random thoughts for me to reflect on later.

How messed up am I. Making mental preparations for my mother's death ( at this time my mom is fine) and My first thoughts.... can I get thru it without chew. My grief is mine alone and YOU (nic) can not share it. YOU will not be included in any of my experiences. Die a slow painfull lonely death.
Remember when you and Kathy became serious. The kids telling you that you were a drug addict because of your chew. Man were you mad at the school and the teachers. How dare they, after all you knew about addictions, you saw results everyday. Over the years alcohol,drugs,paint,glue etc. Compare my"habit" to an addiction... why I outta.. pow to the moon. Fast forward to today. realization, awareness , half part being ashamed and half looking toward the future.
Remember, don't look up. don't be cocky. NOT FOREVER BUT TODAY.

 

Well, buddy 21 days w/o chew. head down one step @ a time,no hurry, we will get where we are going. Be the tortoise.
Observations : Very fidgety. Tasks have to be short duration. thought process is starting to come back, still moments of fog, reading posts here, that may come and go. I am not as cold, better circulation I am guessing. Friends and family have been supportive. How do I write this for the reader ? I feel blessed that the friends I have that still chew don't act like ass-holes and try to get me to chew. I will work on them. I have mentioned this site as a keystone to being quit. When they are ready I guess. Back to the circulation thing, my libido has markedly improved. oh yeah ! One temptation, handled with fake chew and then made tactical w/draw to safer ground. The fake does not thrill my fiance but whatever it takes to keep nic out of my mouth, 35 yrs w/ chew, Rome was not built in a day. THANK YOU to the people who have me in their thoughts and prayers on this site and elsewhere.

To anybody that is or knows of a GSD breeder let me know I need a pet quality pup.

[vh5150]

That's probably the hardest part of quitting. Quitting thru "normal" days is hard. Quitting when the trials of life slap you square upside the head is incredibly and overwhelming hard. Hang in there. Keep reminding yourself of why you quit. If you're struggling come on here and post. We'll support you.

[cbird65]

Some random thoughts for me to reflect on later.

How messed up am I. Making mental preparations for my mother's death ( at this time my mom is fine) and My first thoughts.... can I get thru it without chew. My grief is mine alone and YOU (nic) can not share it. YOU will not be included in any of my experiences. Die a slow painfull lonely death.
Remember when you and Kathy became serious. The kids telling you that you were a drug addict because of your chew. Man were you mad at the school and the teachers. How dare they, after all you knew about addictions, you saw results everyday. Over the years alcohol,drugs,paint,glue etc. Compare my"habit" to an addiction... why I outta.. pow to the moon. Fast forward to today. realization, awareness , half part being ashamed and half looking toward the future.
Remember, don't look up. don't be cocky. NOT FOREVER BUT TODAY.

It appears the fog is lifting and you are being to focus on addressing other areas in your life you want to improve.

We have no control over the length of time God gives us or anyone we know.

Do not allow circumstances to control your behavoir.

There is no finish line here but making small corrections of the wheel now will have a huge impact on where you will be when your race is over.

[omahaflyer]

Some random thoughts for me to reflect on later.

How messed up am I. Making mental preparations for my mother's death ( at this time my mom is fine) and My first thoughts.... can I get thru it without chew. My grief is mine alone and YOU (nic) can not share it. YOU will not be included in any of my experiences. Die a slow painfull lonely death.
Remember when you and Kathy became serious. The kids telling you that you were a drug addict because of your chew. Man were you mad at the school and the teachers. How dare they, after all you knew about addictions, you saw results everyday. Over the years alcohol,drugs,paint,glue etc. Compare my"habit" to an addiction... why I outta.. pow to the moon. Fast forward to today. realization, awareness , half part being ashamed and half looking toward the future.
Remember, don't look up. don't be cocky. NOT FOREVER BUT TODAY.

Well, buddy 21 days w/o chew. head down one step @ a time,no hurry, we will get where we are going. Be the tortoise.
Observations : Very fidgety. Tasks have to be short duration. thought process is starting to come back, still moments of fog, reading posts here, that may come and go. I am not as cold, better circulation I am guessing. Friends and family have been supportive. How do I write this for the reader ? I feel blessed that the friends I have that still chew don't act like ass-holes and try to get me to chew. I will work on them. I have mentioned this site as a keystone to being quit. When they are ready I guess. Back to the circulation thing, my libido has markedly improved. oh yeah ! One temptation, handled with fake chew and then made tactical w/draw to safer ground. The fake does not thrill my fiance but whatever it takes to keep nic out of my mouth, 35 yrs w/ chew, Rome was not built in a day. THANK YOU to the people who have me in their thoughts and prayers on this site and elsewhere.

To anybody that is or knows of a GSD breeder let me know I need a pet quality pup.