Accountability -
We've got a shit ton of people in our October pre HOF class. Its hard to keep track of everyone. I don't know if this is the right way to feel about this, but I figure if the people you are quitting with start out with dishonesty and defensive anger, its hard to trust them going forward. If I can't trust them, how can I rely on them in this difficult quitting process? I want their quit to go well, and I hope it does, but I'm not going to put my faith in them to facilitate my quit. Like I said, there are a ton of people in our group and there are plenty of accountable, honest and dedicated people to lean on. I don't need to worry myself about someone that is shaky to start. I'm happy to be leaned on, but I won't lean on you, and I think if you are only taking from KTC, and you aren't giving back (or people don't need you to give back), you're setting yourself up for failure.
The annonimity of this site, to a certain extent, should facilitate openness and honesty. That in and of itself is cathartic and is assisting with my quit everyday. Like many of you, I was hiding my habit from everyone I know. Like many of you, the people I love the most are some of my worst triggers. It is helpful to be able to come here be honest about myself and my loved ones without having to adversely affect my relationships with them. If a person that I am quitting with cannot provide an honest answer in an annonymous setting, I definitely can't trust them. If I can't trust them, I can't rely on them to help me in my quit. And I won't.
So, in my humble noob opinion, guys that aren't being honest aren't getting the value out of this site. I'm not ranting and raving about it, because I don't intend to rely on them. If they want help, I'm all for helping, but I'm not going to reach out.
What I keep having to tell myself is something that the vets told me when I first posted my gay little introduction. Do this for yourself. I think this also applies on KTC. While we are relying on the support of our quit brothers (and sisters) and the force of will that accountability to them can provide, we are quitting on our own and for ourselves. I think with such a large Oct. group, we may see more than our fair share of cavers. I hope not. If any of our quits are reliant upon someone else's quit being successful, we are setting ourselves up to lose. Remember to do this for yourself first, and don't let anyone else's failure become your failure.
I quit FOR me today, and WITH the rest of my October quitters. If you need help, I'm here to help. I will reach out for help when I need it too, and I know I can rely on most of you.
Good luck today, gentlemen and gentleladies.
