Day 8 today, this story is from Day 7....
Backstory: My parents live just about a mile from my wife and I. My wife has health issues where she can't eat without throwing up. Her condition is called gastroparesis if anyone wants to look it up. So it's tough for her to be around food, so I go to eat at my parents house from time to time.
Last night, I stopped to get gas and bought a 6 pack of beer. Figured I'd have a couple with dinner at my parents house. It's been quite a while since i had a beer or two and it sounded tasty. So 3 beers and a steak dinner later, I'm getting ready to leave. My grandmother lives in NY (I'm in FL) and she visits the Indian reservation for cheap tobacco for my mother who smokes hard to find cigarettes. Recently she had been buying rolls of Cope for me. Well there is a box that just came in. 2 rolls of 5 cans of Cope Long Cut with probably a May xx date.
It took every ounce of everything I had to walk out the door without taking just one can. Not a roll, but just one can. I had it in my head that I was going to just pull one big pinch and throw the can out. I'm sure I would have done just that, too. Out of those 2 rolls, I would have had just that one dip.
What got me away from it was that if I could cave this easily, what was going to keep me from running into a gas station when I got gas to get a can, take a fatty, and toss the can in the can at the station? I knew I needed to show strength now or I'd fall every time I had the chance down the road. It would start just like that and then snowball from there.
I've read a few times on here to stay away from drinking because it lessens your inhibitions and makes you weak. I have no doubt that it would have been easy for me to not even think twice about leaving those cans where they were if I was 100% sober.
Bottom line....for all of you who are just starting this journey.....be careful of where you are and who you are with if you are drinking (or even sober and around peer pressure). If you think it's tough fighting craves sober, just wait until you are even just slightly bombed. I am hell bent on staying nic free forever, but a couple of beers almost derailed me in my first week.
