Day one or two

[traumagnet]

Before I read all these posts I used to think no one knows anything about me I am unique here no one knows what I have to deal with no one knows my guilt what Ihave been guilty of. When I read Diesels post about daddys special gum. I used to tell my boys (as I nearly wrecked the truck trying to hide it from them at first then just started doing it in from of them)...its daddys adult gum and no you cant have any. I just blew right past a teaching moment for them and me. If I dont want them to do it then why do I put this shit in my mouth. and the not listening to them I was rolling down the road trying to get as much poison into my system before spitting it out I didnt listen to them and see the world through their eyes. I was focused on my need to get my fix. It appears we are all the same just different parts of the country...ugh asshat here.
Thanks SRANS good post thanks for opening up...it is important that we not only see what it did to us but what we did to our "loved ones" ...

[Leahy16]

Day 82.

Nebraskadad's intro caused me to do some thinking today.  Maybe this will strengthen some quits,, it has mine. 

When I started reading his thread and trying to help him,,,   I thought,  How can you keep dipping from your family?  This seems so hard to me.  I never even fathomed keeping it from my family.  He's not the only one of course,,  I have heard this from numerous dippers.  How I ask is this possible?  Stay with me now!

Then I thought,,  I wonder which one is worse,  keeping them in the dark and lying about it or like me,,  not even caring when, where and who I dipped around. 

I must have been the most embarrassing dad and husband ever.  I would have spit bottles laying around the house when people would come over,, I didn't care.  My girls would have to ask if I spit in there coke cans, because they were scared they would accidentally drink my shit.  One more thing I think about,   riding in the car with my family, I would spit right out the window.  I would open the door and spit when necessary. I didn't care if they were in the car.   How embarrassing it must have been to them!  I apologized to them for this, but damn they had been living with it for so long it didn't even bother them.  I was such an asshat.  I know I
must move on,,,  but this has really bothered me.  I'm going to give them big hugs and kisses tonight for putting up with my shit. 

I don't deserve them.  I still don't know what I did to get blessed with the family I have.  I won't live long enough to make up for all the krap I've subjected them to, but I'll try.      

Not now, not ever,, for any reason.  Glad to be quit with all of you.

For all the right reasons, I really enjoyed reading that. That helped me see the other side of it. When I was married, my wife caught me twice, I think, but I always played it off as an occasional stress reliever. My daughter never saw me dip. I did it when she wasn't around or after she went to bed. She doesn't know I'm quitting anything. Kinda neat to hear the other side of the story. If it makes you feel any better, this makes both of us asshats. We are all asshats. Stupid fucking asshats. Thanks for posting that.

srans....I was right there with you.....totally open with my family. And the thing that pisses me off more than anything (other than being a disgusting douchebag) is that I let that fucking snake nic bitch into my house and share the best times with me and my family. I always had a dip in (all outlined in my HOF speech) but Christmas, ball games, movies....you know the drill......the fucking bitch was with our family in every freaking picture for years....yup, there I was on christmas morning with cat turd in my mouth....fantastic

Hidden, in the open, it didn't matter. We WERE all ass hats.

WERE is the word I like to focus on now, because thinking back to me driving and telling my daughter "this is Daddys special gum" when she asked what was in my mouth and if she could have some. Makes me want to punch myself in the face.

Or knowing my son was getting older and not wanting to have him mention anything to mom, I would hand him my cell phone or ipod and tell him to play games so I could pretend to drink out of a root beer bottle (dark plastic made it hard to see brown sludge) while I was really spitting into it on the down pull, and not wanting him to pay attention. That's a winner move. Could have actually been talking to my 9 year old son. He has some cool shit to say and an interesting view of things. Oh well, Ill catch him next time he's 9. Fucking idiot.

WERE is the word now, as we albeit late , have changed our ways for the best.

We can use the past as reminder of where we WERE, but their ain't no use dwelling on it, because their isn't a mother fucking thing we can do to change it.

Deisel - you are a rock god of quit

booyah!!!!!!

Outstanding thread!! So glad to be quit with all of you. So good to be 'past tense' asshats! Looking back was one of the hardest things for me to get over. Living today is where I found my freedom and happiness.

Reminds me of what a fucking asshole I was. What a bunch of wasted time spent with a disgusting addiction.

[Wt57]

Day 82.

Nebraskadad's intro caused me to do some thinking today.  Maybe this will strengthen some quits,, it has mine. 

When I started reading his thread and trying to help him,,,   I thought,  How can you keep dipping from your family?  This seems so hard to me.  I never even fathomed keeping it from my family.  He's not the only one of course,,  I have heard this from numerous dippers.  How I ask is this possible?  Stay with me now!

Then I thought,,  I wonder which one is worse,  keeping them in the dark and lying about it or like me,,  not even caring when, where and who I dipped around. 

I must have been the most embarrassing dad and husband ever.  I would have spit bottles laying around the house when people would come over,, I didn't care.  My girls would have to ask if I spit in there coke cans, because they were scared they would accidentally drink my shit.  One more thing I think about,   riding in the car with my family, I would spit right out the window.  I would open the door and spit when necessary. I didn't care if they were in the car.   How embarrassing it must have been to them!  I apologized to them for this, but damn they had been living with it for so long it didn't even bother them.  I was such an asshat.  I know I
must move on,,,  but this has really bothered me.  I'm going to give them big hugs and kisses tonight for putting up with my shit. 

I don't deserve them.  I still don't know what I did to get blessed with the family I have.  I won't live long enough to make up for all the krap I've subjected them to, but I'll try.      

Not now, not ever,, for any reason.  Glad to be quit with all of you.

For all the right reasons, I really enjoyed reading that. That helped me see the other side of it. When I was married, my wife caught me twice, I think, but I always played it off as an occasional stress reliever. My daughter never saw me dip. I did it when she wasn't around or after she went to bed. She doesn't know I'm quitting anything. Kinda neat to hear the other side of the story. If it makes you feel any better, this makes both of us asshats. We are all asshats. Stupid fucking asshats. Thanks for posting that.

srans....I was right there with you.....totally open with my family. And the thing that pisses me off more than anything (other than being a disgusting douchebag) is that I let that fucking snake nic bitch into my house and share the best times with me and my family. I always had a dip in (all outlined in my HOF speech) but Christmas, ball games, movies....you know the drill......the fucking bitch was with our family in every freaking picture for years....yup, there I was on christmas morning with cat turd in my mouth....fantastic

Hidden, in the open, it didn't matter. We WERE all ass hats.

WERE is the word I like to focus on now, because thinking back to me driving and telling my daughter "this is Daddys special gum" when she asked what was in my mouth and if she could have some. Makes me want to punch myself in the face.

Or knowing my son was getting older and not wanting to have him mention anything to mom, I would hand him my cell phone or ipod and tell him to play games so I could pretend to drink out of a root beer bottle (dark plastic made it hard to see brown sludge) while I was really spitting into it on the down pull, and not wanting him to pay attention. That's a winner move. Could have actually been talking to my 9 year old son. He has some cool shit to say and an interesting view of things. Oh well, Ill catch him next time he's 9. Fucking idiot.

WERE is the word now, as we albeit late , have changed our ways for the best.

We can use the past as reminder of where we WERE, but their ain't no use dwelling on it, because their isn't a mother fucking thing we can do to change it.

Deisel - you are a rock god of quit

booyah!!!!!!

Outstanding thread!! So glad to be quit with all of you. So good to be 'past tense' asshats! Looking back was one of the hardest things for me to get over. Living today is where I found my freedom and happiness.

[CleanFuel]

Day 82.

Nebraskadad's intro caused me to do some thinking today.  Maybe this will strengthen some quits,, it has mine. 

When I started reading his thread and trying to help him,,,   I thought,  How can you keep dipping from your family?  This seems so hard to me.  I never even fathomed keeping it from my family.  He's not the only one of course,,  I have heard this from numerous dippers.  How I ask is this possible?  Stay with me now!

Then I thought,,  I wonder which one is worse,  keeping them in the dark and lying about it or like me,,  not even caring when, where and who I dipped around. 

I must have been the most embarrassing dad and husband ever.  I would have spit bottles laying around the house when people would come over,, I didn't care.  My girls would have to ask if I spit in there coke cans, because they were scared they would accidentally drink my shit.  One more thing I think about,   riding in the car with my family, I would spit right out the window.  I would open the door and spit when necessary. I didn't care if they were in the car.   How embarrassing it must have been to them!  I apologized to them for this, but damn they had been living with it for so long it didn't even bother them.  I was such an asshat.  I know I
must move on,,,  but this has really bothered me.  I'm going to give them big hugs and kisses tonight for putting up with my shit. 

I don't deserve them.  I still don't know what I did to get blessed with the family I have.  I won't live long enough to make up for all the krap I've subjected them to, but I'll try.      

Not now, not ever,, for any reason.  Glad to be quit with all of you.

For all the right reasons, I really enjoyed reading that. That helped me see the other side of it. When I was married, my wife caught me twice, I think, but I always played it off as an occasional stress reliever. My daughter never saw me dip. I did it when she wasn't around or after she went to bed. She doesn't know I'm quitting anything. Kinda neat to hear the other side of the story. If it makes you feel any better, this makes both of us asshats. We are all asshats. Stupid fucking asshats. Thanks for posting that.

srans....I was right there with you.....totally open with my family. And the thing that pisses me off more than anything (other than being a disgusting douchebag) is that I let that fucking snake nic bitch into my house and share the best times with me and my family. I always had a dip in (all outlined in my HOF speech) but Christmas, ball games, movies....you know the drill......the fucking bitch was with our family in every freaking picture for years....yup, there I was on christmas morning with cat turd in my mouth....fantastic

Hidden, in the open, it didn't matter. We WERE all ass hats.

WERE is the word I like to focus on now, because thinking back to me driving and telling my daughter "this is Daddys special gum" when she asked what was in my mouth and if she could have some. Makes me want to punch myself in the face.

Or knowing my son was getting older and not wanting to have him mention anything to mom, I would hand him my cell phone or ipod and tell him to play games so I could pretend to drink out of a root beer bottle (dark plastic made it hard to see brown sludge) while I was really spitting into it on the down pull, and not wanting him to pay attention. That's a winner move. Could have actually been talking to my 9 year old son. He has some cool shit to say and an interesting view of things. Oh well, Ill catch him next time he's 9. Fucking idiot.

WERE is the word now, as we albeit late , have changed our ways for the best.

We can use the past as reminder of where we WERE, but their ain't no use dwelling on it, because their isn't a mother fucking thing we can do to change it.

Deisel - you are a rock god of quit

booyah!!!!!!

[Diesel2112]

Day 82.

Nebraskadad's intro caused me to do some thinking today.  Maybe this will strengthen some quits,, it has mine. 

When I started reading his thread and trying to help him,,,   I thought,  How can you keep dipping from your family?  This seems so hard to me.  I never even fathomed keeping it from my family.  He's not the only one of course,,  I have heard this from numerous dippers.  How I ask is this possible?  Stay with me now!

Then I thought,,  I wonder which one is worse,  keeping them in the dark and lying about it or like me,,  not even caring when, where and who I dipped around. 

I must have been the most embarrassing dad and husband ever.  I would have spit bottles laying around the house when people would come over,, I didn't care.  My girls would have to ask if I spit in there coke cans, because they were scared they would accidentally drink my shit.  One more thing I think about,   riding in the car with my family, I would spit right out the window.  I would open the door and spit when necessary. I didn't care if they were in the car.   How embarrassing it must have been to them!  I apologized to them for this, but damn they had been living with it for so long it didn't even bother them.  I was such an asshat.  I know I
must move on,,,  but this has really bothered me.  I'm going to give them big hugs and kisses tonight for putting up with my shit. 

I don't deserve them.  I still don't know what I did to get blessed with the family I have.  I won't live long enough to make up for all the krap I've subjected them to, but I'll try.      

Not now, not ever,, for any reason.  Glad to be quit with all of you.

For all the right reasons, I really enjoyed reading that. That helped me see the other side of it. When I was married, my wife caught me twice, I think, but I always played it off as an occasional stress reliever. My daughter never saw me dip. I did it when she wasn't around or after she went to bed. She doesn't know I'm quitting anything. Kinda neat to hear the other side of the story. If it makes you feel any better, this makes both of us asshats. We are all asshats. Stupid fucking asshats. Thanks for posting that.

srans....I was right there with you.....totally open with my family. And the thing that pisses me off more than anything (other than being a disgusting douchebag) is that I let that fucking snake nic bitch into my house and share the best times with me and my family. I always had a dip in (all outlined in my HOF speech) but Christmas, ball games, movies....you know the drill......the fucking bitch was with our family in every freaking picture for years....yup, there I was on christmas morning with cat turd in my mouth....fantastic

Hidden, in the open, it didn't matter. We WERE all ass hats.

WERE is the word I like to focus on now, because thinking back to me driving and telling my daughter "this is Daddys special gum" when she asked what was in my mouth and if she could have some. Makes me want to punch myself in the face.

Or knowing my son was getting older and not wanting to have him mention anything to mom, I would hand him my cell phone or ipod and tell him to play games so I could pretend to drink out of a root beer bottle (dark plastic made it hard to see brown sludge) while I was really spitting into it on the down pull, and not wanting him to pay attention. That's a winner move. Could have actually been talking to my 9 year old son. He has some cool shit to say and an interesting view of things. Oh well, Ill catch him next time he's 9. Fucking idiot.

WERE is the word now, as we albeit late , have changed our ways for the best.

We can use the past as reminder of where we WERE, but their ain't no use dwelling on it, because their isn't a mother fucking thing we can do to change it.

[CleanFuel]

Day 82.

Nebraskadad's intro caused me to do some thinking today.  Maybe this will strengthen some quits,, it has mine. 

When I started reading his thread and trying to help him,,,  I thought,  How can you keep dipping from your family?  This seems so hard to me.  I never even fathomed keeping it from my family.  He's not the only one of course,,  I have heard this from numerous dippers.  How I ask is this possible?  Stay with me now!

Then I thought,,  I wonder which one is worse,  keeping them in the dark and lying about it or like me,,  not even caring when, where and who I dipped around. 

I must have been the most embarrassing dad and husband ever.  I would have spit bottles laying around the house when people would come over,, I didn't care.  My girls would have to ask if I spit in there coke cans, because they were scared they would accidentally drink my shit.  One more thing I think about,  riding in the car with my family, I would spit right out the window.  I would open the door and spit when necessary. I didn't care if they were in the car.  How embarrassing it must have been to them!  I apologized to them for this, but damn they had been living with it for so long it didn't even bother them.  I was such an asshat.  I know I
must move on,,,  but this has really bothered me.  I'm going to give them big hugs and kisses tonight for putting up with my shit. 

I don't deserve them.  I still don't know what I did to get blessed with the family I have.  I won't live long enough to make up for all the krap I've subjected them to, but I'll try.     

Not now, not ever,, for any reason.  Glad to be quit with all of you.

For all the right reasons, I really enjoyed reading that. That helped me see the other side of it. When I was married, my wife caught me twice, I think, but I always played it off as an occasional stress reliever. My daughter never saw me dip. I did it when she wasn't around or after she went to bed. She doesn't know I'm quitting anything. Kinda neat to hear the other side of the story. If it makes you feel any better, this makes both of us asshats. We are all asshats. Stupid fucking asshats. Thanks for posting that.

srans....I was right there with you.....totally open with my family. And the thing that pisses me off more than anything (other than being a disgusting douchebag) is that I let that fucking snake nic bitch into my house and share the best times with me and my family. I always had a dip in (all outlined in my HOF speech) but Christmas, ball games, movies....you know the drill......the fucking bitch was with our family in every freaking picture for years....yup, there I was on christmas morning with cat turd in my mouth....fantastic

[Erussell]

Day 82.

Nebraskadad's intro caused me to do some thinking today. Maybe this will strengthen some quits,, it has mine.

When I started reading his thread and trying to help him,,, I thought, How can you keep dipping from your family? This seems so hard to me. I never even fathomed keeping it from my family. He's not the only one of course,, I have heard this from numerous dippers. How I ask is this possible? Stay with me now!

Then I thought,, I wonder which one is worse, keeping them in the dark and lying about it or like me,, not even caring when, where and who I dipped around.

I must have been the most embarrassing dad and husband ever. I would have spit bottles laying around the house when people would come over,, I didn't care. My girls would have to ask if I spit in there coke cans, because they were scared they would accidentally drink my shit. One more thing I think about, riding in the car with my family, I would spit right out the window. I would open the door and spit when necessary. I didn't care if they were in the car. How embarrassing it must have been to them! I apologized to them for this, but damn they had been living with it for so long it didn't even bother them. I was such an asshat. I know I
must move on,,, but this has really bothered me. I'm going to give them big hugs and kisses tonight for putting up with my shit.

I don't deserve them. I still don't know what I did to get blessed with the family I have. I won't live long enough to make up for all the krap I've subjected them to, but I'll try.

Not now, not ever,, for any reason. Glad to be quit with all of you.

Srans U R A BA Quiter! I am proud to be quit with you bro!

[Dlee3]

Day 82.

Nebraskadad's intro caused me to do some thinking today. Maybe this will strengthen some quits,, it has mine.

When I started reading his thread and trying to help him,,, I thought, How can you keep dipping from your family? This seems so hard to me. I never even fathomed keeping it from my family. He's not the only one of course,, I have heard this from numerous dippers. How I ask is this possible? Stay with me now!

Then I thought,, I wonder which one is worse, keeping them in the dark and lying about it or like me,, not even caring when, where and who I dipped around.

I must have been the most embarrassing dad and husband ever. I would have spit bottles laying around the house when people would come over,, I didn't care. My girls would have to ask if I spit in there coke cans, because they were scared they would accidentally drink my shit. One more thing I think about, riding in the car with my family, I would spit right out the window. I would open the door and spit when necessary. I didn't care if they were in the car. How embarrassing it must have been to them! I apologized to them for this, but damn they had been living with it for so long it didn't even bother them. I was such an asshat. I know I
must move on,,, but this has really bothered me. I'm going to give them big hugs and kisses tonight for putting up with my shit.

I don't deserve them. I still don't know what I did to get blessed with the family I have. I won't live long enough to make up for all the krap I've subjected them to, but I'll try.

Not now, not ever,, for any reason. Glad to be quit with all of you.

For all the right reasons, I really enjoyed reading that. That helped me see the other side of it. When I was married, my wife caught me twice, I think, but I always played it off as an occasional stress reliever. My daughter never saw me dip. I did it when she wasn't around or after she went to bed. She doesn't know I'm quitting anything. Kinda neat to hear the other side of the story. If it makes you feel any better, this makes both of us asshats. We are all asshats. Stupid fucking asshats. Thanks for posting that.

[srans]

Day 82.

Nebraskadad's intro caused me to do some thinking today. Maybe this will strengthen some quits,, it has mine.

When I started reading his thread and trying to help him,,, I thought, How can you keep dipping from your family? This seems so hard to me. I never even fathomed keeping it from my family. He's not the only one of course,, I have heard this from numerous dippers. How I ask is this possible? Stay with me now!

Then I thought,, I wonder which one is worse, keeping them in the dark and lying about it or like me,, not even caring when, where and who I dipped around.

I must have been the most embarrassing dad and husband ever. I would have spit bottles laying around the house when people would come over,, I didn't care. My girls would have to ask if I spit in there coke cans, because they were scared they would accidentally drink my shit. One more thing I think about, riding in the car with my family, I would spit right out the window. I would open the door and spit when necessary. I didn't care if they were in the car. How embarrassing it must have been to them! I apologized to them for this, but damn they had been living with it for so long it didn't even bother them. I was such an asshat. I know I
must move on,,, but this has really bothered me. I'm going to give them big hugs and kisses tonight for putting up with my shit.

I don't deserve them. I still don't know what I did to get blessed with the family I have. I won't live long enough to make up for all the krap I've subjected them to, but I'll try.

Not now, not ever,, for any reason. Glad to be quit with all of you.

[robbie]

I was looking through my intro and It became clear to me that maybe I needed to do an intro. Never did one.

On February 15, 71 days ago. I was looking for any information to help me get rid of this substance that had me bound for over 25 years. I don't know exactly what age I started. Over 25 years sounds better than almost 30, so that's what I'll go with.
I stumbled on ktc and started reading all the information and decided to give it a try. I figured if it didn't work I would slip away and no one would even notice.

I'm very leery of intranet sites, forums and such. I don't do face book, so letting people into my life like this was very new to me. That's why no intro yet. After much reading,, posting roll a few times and getting support indirectly I decided to start interacting a little. As you can see, I'm well out of my comfort zone, but it is just what the doctor ordered.

I truly thank everyone that makes this site possible. Without it I would be going to the store right now and wasting another $4.50. I would still be a slave with no hope.

Stay strong-Stay quit

Thanks for sharing brother

[srans]

I was looking through my intro and It became clear to me that maybe I needed to do an intro. Never did one.

On February 15, 71 days ago. I was looking for any information to help me get rid of this substance that had me bound for over 25 years. I don't know exactly what age I started. Over 25 years sounds better than almost 30, so that's what I'll go with.
I stumbled on ktc and started reading all the information and decided to give it a try. I figured if it didn't work I would slip away and no one would even notice.

I'm very leery of intranet sites, forums and such. I don't do face book, so letting people into my life like this was very new to me. That's why no intro yet. After much reading,, posting roll a few times and getting support indirectly I decided to start interacting a little. As you can see, I'm well out of my comfort zone, but it is just what the doctor ordered.

I truly thank everyone that makes this site possible. Without it I would be going to the store right now and wasting another $4.50. I would still be a slave with no hope.

[30isEnuff]

Day 68,,  
Have come a long ways in my quit.  I no longer have the allusion that nicotine is or was, my lover, best friend.  I am going through more and more of the day without thinking of the krap, but sometimes it still hits hard.   
Thanks to ktc, I know all the lies,  and I will never go back.  It is so nice being free.  I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT PLACE AGAIN!!!!   

Have been having a little trouble mentally lately.  To a lot of my friends I'm known as someone that is always upbeat, playful and a good person to talk to.  Not doing so well in those departments lately.   I have actually shed a few tears over the last week or so,  for really nothing.  I've never been a person that is depressed, but I think I'm feeling that way.  I know it's just another part of the quit that I must endure, but depression sucks!  I grow weary of this emotional roller-coaster.  One week feeling like your on top of the world, next week, you would think my dog has been shot.  I know it gets better and I will endure, because I've got to many phone numbers of good people that will help me when I need it.   

To everyone here,,  Glad to be quit with you and thank you for all the support.

"One day I freel I'm ahead of the wheel, and the next its rolling over me.
I can get back on, I can get back on"

Some days your the pigeon and some days your the statute. But every day you must fight knowing that you are doing the right thing and that eventually the easy days will far our number the hard ones.

I'm 322 days quit and have had some tough days the last couple days. Not with big craves but just feeling blah. I just ride it out because I've done it before and know I will feel great for a long stretch. Easy stretches get longer and longer...ill tell you that

We fucked our shit up pretty good by literally posioning our body for years. Even though chew wasn't our friend it still was a part of our life, albeit a shitty one.

Going to take some time before we not have thoughts of something that was such a big part of our lives, but it can be done and will be done.

Even now I think to myself, "I used to do that shit?"

I try to think if it as a phase I went through. Like in college when I went out with those dudes and we would get drunk and give eachother....hmmmm nevermind.

Just stay QUIT!!!!

Srans you are one bad ass shark! Welcome to stage 4 of D.A.B.D.A fucking depression. Embrace the suck brother. Don't let the Bitch mess with your swagger.

Without the bad times the good times would not feel so good...

A wise man once said "Well Yes I am depressed, but at the same time I am really happy that something can make me feel this way. It's like, it makes me feel alive. You Know? It makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I am feeling is a beautiful sadness"

Keep doing what you do--keep reaching out to newbies--stay strong and active with your May brothers

Call or text me anytime, get Jaynellie's digits and text the shit out of him also he is up 23 hours a day--most importantly Keep on Keeping on...

One day when I am south of the MD line we'll have boat drinks

-robbie day 71

Srans,

You are a badass quitter and I am proud to be quit with you!

'clap' 'clap' 'clap'

This is how quitting is done!

Keep on keeping on brother!

Great post srans,

Please realize that it is all part of the healing process. I think that what you are feeling is completely normal and very common at this stage. When I look back at my intro, I remember that I was feeling just like you. As diesel said, we poisoned ourselves for years and years. It is gonna take some time man. Allow yourself to feel this way sometimes. Accept the good days and bad days. Just dont string too many bad ones together.

If you are really feeling deeply down and not finding joy in anything you may need to consult a professional? I considered a psychologist or maybe getting on some meds but I never did either. Instead I just accepted the counseling that was available here on these threads and in live chat. Dont know how smart that was on my part but I survived and I am still here. Getting better one day at a time. Shoot me a PM if you need another number.

This is the brotherhood and support that makes KTC work! Keep on quitting 1 day at a time!!

What tangled Web we weave. I can't even get two simple tasks done today.... Wtf.. I've stated before that the first three days were the hardest. I take that back!!! Day 69, 70 and counting is the hardest.

I feel ya brother the mid to late 70's for me absolutely fucking brutal. Pissed off and irritable all the time. Cravings and all not bad just really really REALLY edgy. Thankful 81 today and maybe just a mentsl frame of mind but all is right in my world again. QLF today with you proudly.

It's gets much better, I promise YOU!
"When you're going through hell, keep going!"

Quit on Mister, you got this, ODAAT and NAFAR!! 'bang head'

[jaynellie]

Day 68,,  
Have come a long ways in my quit.  I no longer have the allusion that nicotine is or was, my lover, best friend.  I am going through more and more of the day without thinking of the krap, but sometimes it still hits hard.   
Thanks to ktc, I know all the lies,  and I will never go back.  It is so nice being free.  I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT PLACE AGAIN!!!!   

Have been having a little trouble mentally lately.  To a lot of my friends I'm known as someone that is always upbeat, playful and a good person to talk to.  Not doing so well in those departments lately.   I have actually shed a few tears over the last week or so,  for really nothing.  I've never been a person that is depressed, but I think I'm feeling that way.  I know it's just another part of the quit that I must endure, but depression sucks!  I grow weary of this emotional roller-coaster.  One week feeling like your on top of the world, next week, you would think my dog has been shot.  I know it gets better and I will endure, because I've got to many phone numbers of good people that will help me when I need it.   

To everyone here,,  Glad to be quit with you and thank you for all the support.

"One day I freel I'm ahead of the wheel, and the next its rolling over me.
I can get back on, I can get back on"

Some days your the pigeon and some days your the statute. But every day you must fight knowing that you are doing the right thing and that eventually the easy days will far our number the hard ones.

I'm 322 days quit and have had some tough days the last couple days. Not with big craves but just feeling blah. I just ride it out because I've done it before and know I will feel great for a long stretch. Easy stretches get longer and longer...ill tell you that

We fucked our shit up pretty good by literally posioning our body for years. Even though chew wasn't our friend it still was a part of our life, albeit a shitty one.

Going to take some time before we not have thoughts of something that was such a big part of our lives, but it can be done and will be done.

Even now I think to myself, "I used to do that shit?"

I try to think if it as a phase I went through. Like in college when I went out with those dudes and we would get drunk and give eachother....hmmmm nevermind.

Just stay QUIT!!!!

Srans you are one bad ass shark! Welcome to stage 4 of D.A.B.D.A fucking depression. Embrace the suck brother. Don't let the Bitch mess with your swagger.

Without the bad times the good times would not feel so good...

A wise man once said "Well Yes I am depressed, but at the same time I am really happy that something can make me feel this way. It's like, it makes me feel alive. You Know? It makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I am feeling is a beautiful sadness"

Keep doing what you do--keep reaching out to newbies--stay strong and active with your May brothers

Call or text me anytime, get Jaynellie's digits and text the shit out of him also he is up 23 hours a day--most importantly Keep on Keeping on...

One day when I am south of the MD line we'll have boat drinks

-robbie day 71

Srans,

You are a badass quitter and I am proud to be quit with you!

'clap' 'clap' 'clap'

This is how quitting is done!

Keep on keeping on brother!

Great post srans,

Please realize that it is all part of the healing process. I think that what you are feeling is completely normal and very common at this stage. When I look back at my intro, I remember that I was feeling just like you. As diesel said, we poisoned ourselves for years and years. It is gonna take some time man. Allow yourself to feel this way sometimes. Accept the good days and bad days. Just dont string too many bad ones together.

If you are really feeling deeply down and not finding joy in anything you may need to consult a professional? I considered a psychologist or maybe getting on some meds but I never did either. Instead I just accepted the counseling that was available here on these threads and in live chat. Dont know how smart that was on my part but I survived and I am still here. Getting better one day at a time. Shoot me a PM if you need another number.

This is the brotherhood and support that makes KTC work! Keep on quitting 1 day at a time!!

What tangled Web we weave. I can't even get two simple tasks done today.... Wtf.. I've stated before that the first three days were the hardest. I take that back!!! Day 69, 70 and counting is the hardest.

I feel ya brother the mid to late 70's for me absolutely fucking brutal. Pissed off and irritable all the time. Cravings and all not bad just really really REALLY edgy. Thankful 81 today and maybe just a mentsl frame of mind but all is right in my world again. QLF today with you proudly.

[srans]

Day 68,,  
Have come a long ways in my quit.  I no longer have the allusion that nicotine is or was, my lover, best friend.  I am going through more and more of the day without thinking of the krap, but sometimes it still hits hard.   
Thanks to ktc, I know all the lies,  and I will never go back.  It is so nice being free.  I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT PLACE AGAIN!!!!   

Have been having a little trouble mentally lately.  To a lot of my friends I'm known as someone that is always upbeat, playful and a good person to talk to.  Not doing so well in those departments lately.   I have actually shed a few tears over the last week or so,  for really nothing.  I've never been a person that is depressed, but I think I'm feeling that way.  I know it's just another part of the quit that I must endure, but depression sucks!  I grow weary of this emotional roller-coaster.  One week feeling like your on top of the world, next week, you would think my dog has been shot.  I know it gets better and I will endure, because I've got to many phone numbers of good people that will help me when I need it.   

To everyone here,,  Glad to be quit with you and thank you for all the support.

"One day I freel I'm ahead of the wheel, and the next its rolling over me.
I can get back on, I can get back on"

Some days your the pigeon and some days your the statute. But every day you must fight knowing that you are doing the right thing and that eventually the easy days will far our number the hard ones.

I'm 322 days quit and have had some tough days the last couple days. Not with big craves but just feeling blah. I just ride it out because I've done it before and know I will feel great for a long stretch. Easy stretches get longer and longer...ill tell you that

We fucked our shit up pretty good by literally posioning our body for years. Even though chew wasn't our friend it still was a part of our life, albeit a shitty one.

Going to take some time before we not have thoughts of something that was such a big part of our lives, but it can be done and will be done.

Even now I think to myself, "I used to do that shit?"

I try to think if it as a phase I went through. Like in college when I went out with those dudes and we would get drunk and give eachother....hmmmm nevermind.

Just stay QUIT!!!!

Srans you are one bad ass shark! Welcome to stage 4 of D.A.B.D.A fucking depression. Embrace the suck brother. Don't let the Bitch mess with your swagger.

Without the bad times the good times would not feel so good...

A wise man once said "Well Yes I am depressed, but at the same time I am really happy that something can make me feel this way. It's like, it makes me feel alive. You Know? It makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I am feeling is a beautiful sadness"

Keep doing what you do--keep reaching out to newbies--stay strong and active with your May brothers

Call or text me anytime, get Jaynellie's digits and text the shit out of him also he is up 23 hours a day--most importantly Keep on Keeping on...

One day when I am south of the MD line we'll have boat drinks

-robbie day 71

Srans,

You are a badass quitter and I am proud to be quit with you!

'clap' 'clap' 'clap'

This is how quitting is done!

Keep on keeping on brother!

Great post srans,

Please realize that it is all part of the healing process. I think that what you are feeling is completely normal and very common at this stage. When I look back at my intro, I remember that I was feeling just like you. As diesel said, we poisoned ourselves for years and years. It is gonna take some time man. Allow yourself to feel this way sometimes. Accept the good days and bad days. Just dont string too many bad ones together.

If you are really feeling deeply down and not finding joy in anything you may need to consult a professional? I considered a psychologist or maybe getting on some meds but I never did either. Instead I just accepted the counseling that was available here on these threads and in live chat. Dont know how smart that was on my part but I survived and I am still here. Getting better one day at a time. Shoot me a PM if you need another number.

This is the brotherhood and support that makes KTC work! Keep on quitting 1 day at a time!!

What tangled Web we weave. I can't even get two simple tasks done today.... Wtf.. I've stated before that the first three days were the hardest. I take that back!!! Day 69, 70 and counting is the hardest.

[Wt57]

Day 68,,  
Have come a long ways in my quit.  I no longer have the allusion that nicotine is or was, my lover, best friend.  I am going through more and more of the day without thinking of the krap, but sometimes it still hits hard.   
Thanks to ktc, I know all the lies,  and I will never go back.  It is so nice being free.  I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT PLACE AGAIN!!!!   

Have been having a little trouble mentally lately.  To a lot of my friends I'm known as someone that is always upbeat, playful and a good person to talk to.  Not doing so well in those departments lately.   I have actually shed a few tears over the last week or so,  for really nothing.  I've never been a person that is depressed, but I think I'm feeling that way.  I know it's just another part of the quit that I must endure, but depression sucks!  I grow weary of this emotional roller-coaster.  One week feeling like your on top of the world, next week, you would think my dog has been shot.  I know it gets better and I will endure, because I've got to many phone numbers of good people that will help me when I need it.   

To everyone here,,  Glad to be quit with you and thank you for all the support.

"One day I freel I'm ahead of the wheel, and the next its rolling over me.
I can get back on, I can get back on"

Some days your the pigeon and some days your the statute. But every day you must fight knowing that you are doing the right thing and that eventually the easy days will far our number the hard ones.

I'm 322 days quit and have had some tough days the last couple days. Not with big craves but just feeling blah. I just ride it out because I've done it before and know I will feel great for a long stretch. Easy stretches get longer and longer...ill tell you that

We fucked our shit up pretty good by literally posioning our body for years. Even though chew wasn't our friend it still was a part of our life, albeit a shitty one.

Going to take some time before we not have thoughts of something that was such a big part of our lives, but it can be done and will be done.

Even now I think to myself, "I used to do that shit?"

I try to think if it as a phase I went through. Like in college when I went out with those dudes and we would get drunk and give eachother....hmmmm nevermind.

Just stay QUIT!!!!

Srans you are one bad ass shark! Welcome to stage 4 of D.A.B.D.A fucking depression. Embrace the suck brother. Don't let the Bitch mess with your swagger.

Without the bad times the good times would not feel so good...

A wise man once said "Well Yes I am depressed, but at the same time I am really happy that something can make me feel this way. It's like, it makes me feel alive. You Know? It makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I am feeling is a beautiful sadness"

Keep doing what you do--keep reaching out to newbies--stay strong and active with your May brothers

Call or text me anytime, get Jaynellie's digits and text the shit out of him also he is up 23 hours a day--most importantly Keep on Keeping on...

One day when I am south of the MD line we'll have boat drinks

-robbie day 71

Srans,

You are a badass quitter and I am proud to be quit with you!

'clap' 'clap' 'clap'

This is how quitting is done!

Keep on keeping on brother!

Great post srans,

Please realize that it is all part of the healing process. I think that what you are feeling is completely normal and very common at this stage. When I look back at my intro, I remember that I was feeling just like you. As diesel said, we poisoned ourselves for years and years. It is gonna take some time man. Allow yourself to feel this way sometimes. Accept the good days and bad days. Just dont string too many bad ones together.

If you are really feeling deeply down and not finding joy in anything you may need to consult a professional? I considered a psychologist or maybe getting on some meds but I never did either. Instead I just accepted the counseling that was available here on these threads and in live chat. Dont know how smart that was on my part but I survived and I am still here. Getting better one day at a time. Shoot me a PM if you need another number.

This is the brotherhood and support that makes KTC work! Keep on quitting 1 day at a time!!