Here goes....gonna drop this in newer groups.
Some thoughts on building relationships:
I think IÂ’ve been here long enough and been involved enough to see some trends here. Everybody stresses the importance of getting phone numbers but never really tells you what to do with those numbers. I text 37 quitters my promise every day. Of those, I get into other conversations with maybe 20 of them from time to time. Of those, I get into deeper conversations with 10-12 of them at least weekly. Of those, there are 6 that I would feel comfortable calling at any hour of the day/night, and 2 that I have done that with. Those relationships keep me quit. ItÂ’s easy to make a promise to a bunch of nameless, faceless strangers that are a little difficult to imagine as actually existing in real life. When you text your promise to somebody that youÂ’ve shared life challenges with, somebody that youÂ’ve seen pics of and pics of their family, and know what they go through on a regular basis, youÂ’re telling a friend that you wonÂ’t dip that day. We arenÂ’t trading numbers just to enhance our rolodex. We should be building relationships with these people so when you need them, you wonÂ’t be apprehensive about calling them.
I was on my second week of quit, around day 12. I had been out to dinner with a lady friend and was driving home. I stopped at a gas station for a Dr.Pepper, and when I went to the counter, I also bought a can. It was muscle memory. I opened the can and smelled it. It was absolutely divine, but I had given my promise and I had relationships made. I felt I needed to announce my intentions so I could keep my word as a man. I texted Casus Belli. What made me pick him, I have no idea. He wasnÂ’t even in my group. He was August, but he reached out to me early in my quit and he was one of my few numbers. I was on the verge. I had bought a can, opened a can, and smelled that shit. There were only two more steps to take, and IÂ’d be a caver AGAIN, posting a new day 1. What Casus did after I texted him saved my quit. He didnÂ’t text back. He freaking CALLED me. And he talked to me for probably 15 minutes about the chemicals in dip, his story, hell I canÂ’t remember what all he talked to me about. But in that time, I decided to walk to the toilet and dump this brand new can of cancer that I had just paid $5 for not 30 minutes earlier. His actions were a result of our relationship, and that saved my quit.
Fast forward to day 77. At this point in my quit, I felt like I had things whipped pretty good. One day, I went to the gas station on my lunch break at work to grab a drink and a burger from the fry cook. As soon as I pulled in the lot, I felt a deep crave out of nowhere. I was right on the verge of going in and buying a can. Once again, I had made my promise early and I had relationships. I texted a brother, then I realized text is too slow, probably exactly what Casus realized that day 2 months earlier. I decided to call Phuctup. He answered, and I kept him on the phone the whole time I was in the store. If I had him on the line, I couldnÂ’t very well order a can of dip without him coming to Texas and kicking me in the nuts. RelationshipsÂ…
Develop these relationships guys. I just posted a 145 day promise, and I could easily have a crave so solid that I need to make a call. I have multiple people that I wouldnÂ’t hesitate to pick up the phone and do that with. I have people that I really want to meet and I would drive hours to do so. I have made friends here. If anybody here needs digits, mine are a PM away, but IÂ’ll want yours too, and a daily text promise at a minimum. The people that donÂ’t have those relationships are much more likely to cave on the site. This is no joke and itÂ’s life and death. DonÂ’t you think you should do everything you can to stay quit?
