Hello. My name is Paul. IÂ’m 38 years old, and IÂ’m from Utah. I have been a "closet chewing" for 16 years. I know, closet chewing and for fÂ’n 16 years thatÂ’s pretty sad! I have been lying to my awesome wife and amazing kids and myself. I started chewing as a senior in high school because I liked the high and I was a pussy to any degree of peer pressure. I actually quit and cleaned up my life for 3 years serving a church mission and getting married after meeting my wife-to-be but caved back into my old ways of drinking and chewing when I rekindled old buddy relationships. IÂ’ve tried to quit several times in the past 4 years but havenÂ’t been able to overcome the addiction. I somehow convinced myself that since I quit for 3 years I wasnÂ’t able to be addicted and can quit anytime. Well, I am addicted and quitting is going to be tough, especially since I really loved the smell, taste, and relax time of dipping with copenhagen.
Now, IÂ’m 5 days quit (again). And it hasnÂ’t been swell. I have pissed off everyone around me with my horrible attitude. IÂ’m just thankful that I found this website for some reinforcement. I damn near cried (fÂ’n mood swings) reading some of the articles of loss as people like myself who choose to chew have screwed up the lives of people they love. It reminded me of why I have been trying to quit for the past 4 years. I love my family and most of my dip shit friends. I have come to the conclusion that I would give my life for my wife and family, so why wouldnÂ’t I give up tobacco for them?
I’m quitting because I’m scared of losing my face and life and the destructive wake that will wreak havoc on my wife and family who I love with all my heart and soul. I’m also quitting for myself because deep down I know that no one sees chewing as a good idea, something that smart, educated, respectable, and attractive people do. It’s not cool and I now realize that’s the reason I have been “closet chewing” all these years.
Thanks,
i hate cope
P.S. Future note to self: Even though you think you are a copenhagen ninja, youÂ’re not! Hiding a nasty addiction like chewing and keeping close relationships is IMPOSSIBLE. They all know dumbass, you have been busted too many times to count.