Hello IÂ’m Hootie and I am an addictÂ…
YepÂ…hard to say them words and harder still to do something about it. Or at least it was for way too long until now. Regardless of the rhetoric concerning how ungrateful and conniving this so called Nic Bitch (a term I hear a lot in this forum) was and still isÂ…she was my friend for 33 years. I am forty-five years old. I took my first dip at age 8 and got sicker than a dog and higher than a kite on Skoal. Four years later at the age of twelve I received as a birthday gift from my father a roll of Skoal (back when it came 10 cans to a roll) and a nice brass spittoon that had a train engraved on it.
I don’t blame my dad for my addiction. It isn’t his fault. Back then…12 years old was old enough to chew. All the cool kids did it. He didn’t hold my mouth open and pour it in for me. It was a part of “growing up” and “fitting in” that I wanted more than anything else to share in. When I got that worn-out ring on the back pocket of my jeans…I would be with the “in” crowd.
That was 1978 – flash forward to 2011
Here I sit for the “second” third consecutive nicotine-free day since 2002 introducing myself to strangers that have been or are in the same boat as I am.
Wait a minute you sayÂ…2011-2002 only makes 9 where are the other twenty four years?
I wonÂ’t lie to you. I had a break (as IÂ’ve heard it referred to as on this forum) from 2002-2003. ThatÂ’s rightÂ…I caved after a whole year due to stress from a crazy job and thinking 1 dip wouldnÂ’t hurt. You know the story from there. That 1 dip I took in 2003 lasted until 2 days ago. There itÂ’s outÂ…I once quit my quit in a moment of weakness. I wonÂ’t do it again I promise. You got my word on itÂ…
Why is this time different and why should you trust me? I really canÂ’t answer that honestlyÂ…I have great resolveÂ…I have this awesome support group nowÂ…I know the consequences of thinking just 1Â…and to be frankÂ…the temptation just isnÂ’t there. I am the only one I know of around me who dipped nowadays. Back then I was constantly surrounded by 20-30 guys who all dipped...at the same timeÂ…it was a dippers communeÂ…sharing a common spitterÂ…. I digress. While those guys will forever be my brothersÂ…I left that community a few years back to move on to other things.
One more thingÂ…I will never have to make myself go through this fog/suck again. I have been through some pretty tough stuff in my life and done a few crazy things but this takes the cake. And the second time around is worse I feel.
Why am I quitting? Good question. I am quitting because its time. It has gotten too expensiveÂ…I am/or was up to a can and a half a dayÂ…and I am just tired of being owned by that bear on that red can.
I am not quitting for my wife. She has never once complained anyhow. I am not quitting for my kids because I donÂ’t have any. I am not quitting for insurance reasons (what sense does that make). I am not quitting because I am afraid of cancer. If I was afraid of cancer I would have quite years ago. SoÂ…that leaves just plain ole me. I quit for me!
Welcome to HootieÂ’s World
Hootie Out!
