So I guess it's time to write my story. For 5 days now I've been reading story after story, and it seems like each one relates directly to me. I started stealing my grandma's cigs when I was in approx 3rd grade. I had my first Kodiak dip in my friends closet in 6th grade. I wasn't smoking and chewing this entire time, but it def got me used to that euphoric nicotine feeling that we all love. I always knew that I shouldn't be doing it, but that just added to the pleasure.
Fast forward 15 yrs and nothing has changed. I chew when I don't wanna smoke, and I smoke when I don't wanna chew. I smoke when I drink with my friends, and I chew by myself. I chew after a workout and smoke after work. It really has gotten bad! Honestly, I've been trying to quit for years now. Maybe not "quitting", but just taking breaks. I just tried "quitting" last month!! Didn't work!!
So here I sit, admittedly an addict, knowing that this shit is killing me slowly. It's killing me, but I HAVEN'T stopped. I watched my grandma be on O2, fucked from dementia, couldn't move, but knew she needed a smoke!! The thing driving her to her grave is what kept her alive. I DON'T WANNA DIE LIKE THAT!
I'm 30 now want nothing more than to be healthy. How do I do that?? Quit tobacco forever. The time has to be now, I cannot wait. My mouth hurts, my lungs hurt, my body hurts. Life is too short to be worried about getting my Nic fix. I'm over it.
I know this won't be easy, but reading post after post allows me to believe in a nicotine free life. Good luck to everyone quitting with me one day atta time.
