Here Again

Started by Dieselchick87, October 10, 2016, 12:41:00 PM

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Steakbomb18

Quote from: dieselchick87273


Welp it was bound to happen. 273 days in no nic and dumbass dr's and nurses. I hate this view the man I love who I swore to love in sickness and health laying in a hospital bed because M.S. wants to take him out, but just as bad I hate that my jaw is twitching because past visits would have me shoving a cat turd in my lip then spit in a bottle hide it from the doc and not kill the dumbass. I give my word that I will not use nicotine today (tuesday july 6th 2017) A whole new set of coping skills are coming into play ........ mindful relaxation of my jaw muscles peaceful meditation centering and grounding ....I dont need that poison in my lip to support my husband. He will push through and beat this flare up we are going to have a bad day tomorrow because the are going to want a new MRI which is going to show further progression of the disease but together we can conquer this its 2 am I am going to quit rambling
night night
1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems

It's never a solution only a detriment. Appreciate you showing us how to QLF in what could potentially be seen as a moment of weakness. You, on the other hand, have shown us how to turn it into a moment of strength. I'm QLF with you Diesel and will keep you and your husband in my thoughts as you plow through this.
Certified Grade A Badass

Dieselchick87

273


Welp it was bound to happen. 273 days in no nic and dumbass dr's and nurses. I hate this view the man I love who I swore to love in sickness and health laying in a hospital bed because M.S. wants to take him out, but just as bad I hate that my jaw is twitching because past visits would have me shoving a cat turd in my lip then spit in a bottle hide it from the doc and not kill the dumbass. I give my word that I will not use nicotine today (tuesday july 6th 2017) A whole new set of coping skills are coming into play ........ mindful relaxation of my jaw muscles peaceful meditation centering and grounding ....I dont need that poison in my lip to support my husband. He will push through and beat this flare up we are going to have a bad day tomorrow because the are going to want a new MRI which is going to show further progression of the disease but together we can conquer this its 2 am I am going to quit rambling
night night

eyehatecope

Quote from: dieselchick87263

Where has time gone? Is the road easy after 6 months?

NO

I have gone through more fake in the last 2 months and to be honest it concerns me. Maybe it's the stress level that I have been under, maybe it's boredom, hell it could be the depression I have slid into ........
But here is the thing that drives me I know there is no and I mean no such thing as just one . I will take fake over the nic bitch everyday so for the new quitter who may read this dont knock fake don't knock a tool while maybe not ideal it's not a cat turd.

That's my thought for today
690 here lady. It still hits me. And you are damned correct, the fake is def better than the real deal any day. Hang in there. Keep kicking it's ass.
Jenny and Tom Kern

RIP My Brother!

Dieselchick87

263

Where has time gone? Is the road easy after 6 months?

NO

I have gone through more fake in the last 2 months and to be honest it concerns me. Maybe it's the stress level that I have been under, maybe it's boredom, hell it could be the depression I have slid into ........
But here is the thing that drives me I know there is no and I mean no such thing as just one . I will take fake over the nic bitch everyday so for the new quitter who may read this dont knock fake don't knock a tool while maybe not ideal it's not a cat turd.

That's my thought for today

Stranger999

Quote from: dieselchick87
Quote from: Steakbomb18
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: dieselchick87Day 182

Mainly rambling

I went to the corner store this morning to get milk and the lady behind the counter asked me if I was still "doing that quit thing" I told her yes for 182 days now!! Her husband asked me why do I keep track of the days so I explained KTC to him
And the accountability brotherhood and support and by committing everyday not to use nicotine the reason to stay quit is even greater because I gave my word.
But as I sit here I am not sure I explained the depth of the reason at 182 days that I am still here posting.......hell I am not always sure what keeps me here but I know if I am not here my resolve definitely suffers and I struggle with head games more 182 days is nothing in the larger picture and my quit is such a priority in my life 5 minutes out of my day to post roll and communicate with my quit family is worth every second so I will continue to keep track of my days and post roll daily
EDD! ODAAT! Great job
6 months DC. You have been quit for 6 freaking months. The magnitude of that, in and of itself is insane. But, you ...don't see it that way. It's just another day in a bigger picture and you couldn't be more right. Every day you quit, everyone else around you benefits from it. Here's to staying on your quit train
That is so true every day is just a day it took me typing day 180 a few times before it clicked to 6 months even now looking at that seems overwhelming but just day 182 its just another day one more then yesterday and I can do that!
Wait until you submit 365 - that one will really make you think. :)

I'm really glad that we have you here and double glad that you are sharing your quit with the rest of us. I think the short amount of time it takes to share my quit with others every day is the key to staying quit. Post your number sure, but really connecting with others locks it in.

Dieselchick87

Quote from: Steakbomb18
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: dieselchick87Day 182

Mainly rambling

I went to the corner store this morning to get milk and the lady behind the counter asked me if I was still "doing that quit thing" I told her yes for 182 days now!! Her husband asked me why do I keep track of the days so I explained KTC to him
And the accountability brotherhood and support and by committing everyday not to use nicotine the reason to stay quit is even greater because I gave my word.
But as I sit here I am not sure I explained the depth of the reason at 182 days that I am still here posting.......hell I am not always sure what keeps me here but I know if I am not here my resolve definitely suffers and I struggle with head games more 182 days is nothing in the larger picture and my quit is such a priority in my life 5 minutes out of my day to post roll and communicate with my quit family is worth every second so I will continue to keep track of my days and post roll daily
EDD! ODAAT! Great job
6 months DC. You have been quit for 6 freaking months. The magnitude of that, in and of itself is insane. But, you ...don't see it that way. It's just another day in a bigger picture and you couldn't be more right. Every day you quit, everyone else around you benefits from it. Here's to staying on your quit train
That is so true every day is just a day it took me typing day 180 a few times before it clicked to 6 months even now looking at that seems overwhelming but just day 182 its just another day one more then yesterday and I can do that!

Steakbomb18

Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: dieselchick87Day 182

Mainly rambling

I went to the corner store this morning to get milk and the lady behind the counter asked me if I was still "doing that quit thing" I told her yes for 182 days now!! Her husband asked me why do I keep track of the days so I explained KTC to him
And the accountability brotherhood and support and by committing everyday not to use nicotine the reason to stay quit is even greater because I gave my word.
But as I sit here I am not sure I explained the depth of the reason at 182 days that I am still here posting.......hell I am not always sure what keeps me here but I know if I am not here my resolve definitely suffers and I struggle with head games more 182 days is nothing in the larger picture and my quit is such a priority in my life 5 minutes out of my day to post roll and communicate with my quit family is worth every second so I will continue to keep track of my days and post roll daily
EDD! ODAAT! Great job
6 months DC. You have been quit for 6 freaking months. The magnitude of that, in and of itself is insane. But, you ...don't see it that way. It's just another day in a bigger picture and you couldn't be more right. Every day you quit, everyone else around you benefits from it. Here's to staying on your quit train
Certified Grade A Badass

pab1964

Quote from: dieselchick87Day 182

Mainly rambling

I went to the corner store this morning to get milk and the lady behind the counter asked me if I was still "doing that quit thing" I told her yes for 182 days now!! Her husband asked me why do I keep track of the days so I explained KTC to him
And the accountability brotherhood and support and by committing everyday not to use nicotine the reason to stay quit is even greater because I gave my word.
But as I sit here I am not sure I explained the depth of the reason at 182 days that I am still here posting.......hell I am not always sure what keeps me here but I know if I am not here my resolve definitely suffers and I struggle with head games more 182 days is nothing in the larger picture and my quit is such a priority in my life 5 minutes out of my day to post roll and communicate with my quit family is worth every second so I will continue to keep track of my days and post roll daily
EDD! ODAAT! Great job
Tobacco is so addictive it took me a year after a massive heart attack, in which doctor confirmed caused from dipping to finally put a lid on the bitch! ODAAT EDD

Dieselchick87

Day 182

Mainly rambling

I went to the corner store this morning to get milk and the lady behind the counter asked me if I was still "doing that quit thing" I told her yes for 182 days now!! Her husband asked me why do I keep track of the days so I explained KTC to him
And the accountability brotherhood and support and by committing everyday not to use nicotine the reason to stay quit is even greater because I gave my word.
But as I sit here I am not sure I explained the depth of the reason at 182 days that I am still here posting.......hell I am not always sure what keeps me here but I know if I am not here my resolve definitely suffers and I struggle with head games more 182 days is nothing in the larger picture and my quit is such a priority in my life 5 minutes out of my day to post roll and communicate with my quit family is worth every second so I will continue to keep track of my days and post roll daily

JGlav

Quote from: dieselchick87Day 173 'chew2'
I am pretty sure that I am having my favorite and best nic free experience!!! We added a 4 month old puppy to our family yesterday and in the past I would have gone through a can maybe more getting up every couple of hours knocked over or chewed on spitters would be a concern as well as making sure my can didnt become a toy......all of those are mute concerns while I cuddle and play with my new baby boy Harley!
Excellent. Like hearing the success stories free from nic. Congrats on the puppy

Dieselchick87

Day 173 'chew2'
I am pretty sure that I am having my favorite and best nic free experience!!! We added a 4 month old puppy to our family yesterday and in the past I would have gone through a can maybe more getting up every couple of hours knocked over or chewed on spitters would be a concern as well as making sure my can didnt become a toy......all of those are mute concerns while I cuddle and play with my new baby boy Harley!

CavMan83

Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: Steakbomb18
Quote from: Law1358
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: JGlav
Quote from: dieselchick87Day 143 *possible trigger for women trying to get pregnant *

I am not sure at what point this quit became entirely personal but at some point my shred of "I am only quitting cause the doctors said to get fertility testing I had to go off nicotine" well 2 days ago I miscarried at 14weeks (I never once got a positive test ) part of my brain said fuck it quitting didnt keep your child but a bigger side said being quit isnt about a kid(s) its about you......
.
.I dont have anyone else to share with sorry in advance
.
.
.
.
As I laid on my couch crying I felt cheated that I had already made my promise not to use nicotine......it was the 1st out of 12 that I had to deal with the emotions of loss head on.... I ranted and raved to my husband and he told he wouldnt stop me (he had gone through a pack at that time) I got on the site and went to my inbox and looked at all the people I have been talking too and I knew I couldn't throw my quit away without hurting theirs at the same time .......the positive that came out of this was we found out that its nicotine that is causing my issues for some reason my body is rejecting implantation therefore I am getting prego but my body isn't accepting the child that my husband and I create more testing must be done and while it may never happen but I know that through all of this I will remain quit because I made it nicotine is not needed to survive the emotional death its just another damn thing that I am conquering while nicotine free
So sorry for your loss and anguish. I cannot even begin to understand your pain, but I hope you know there is comfort, concern, support and prayers here from this community.
God Bless you DC. You have support here 29,000 +
You, quitter woman, have a great attitude and resolve.
Stay strong in faith and know you have support here always.
So sorry and I pray for healing and successes. ❤
Never give up.
So sorry. Prayers to you
Never give up!!!Im extremly proud to be quit with you, and I will most certainly be praying for you and your family.
My condolences DC. My wife and I have been there. In times like this, you'll need the same guts, determination, and passion that got you to day 143 and beyond. Quit with you.
Oh, diesel girl, I am so sorry to read this. Keeping you and your husband in my prayers.
I am so sorry. Sitting here reading that and hurt with you. My prayer is that you somehow find peace in this.

FLLipOut

Quote from: Steakbomb18
Quote from: Law1358
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: JGlav
Quote from: dieselchick87Day 143 *possible trigger for women trying to get pregnant *

I am not sure at what point this quit became entirely personal but at some point my shred of "I am only quitting cause the doctors said to get fertility testing I had to go off nicotine" well 2 days ago I miscarried at 14weeks (I never once got a positive test ) part of my brain said fuck it quitting didnt keep your child but a bigger side said being quit isnt about a kid(s) its about you......
.
.I dont have anyone else to share with sorry in advance
.
.
.
.
As I laid on my couch crying I felt cheated that I had already made my promise not to use nicotine......it was the 1st out of 12 that I had to deal with the emotions of loss head on.... I ranted and raved to my husband and he told he wouldnt stop me (he had gone through a pack at that time) I got on the site and went to my inbox and looked at all the people I have been talking too and I knew I couldn't throw my quit away without hurting theirs at the same time .......the positive that came out of this was we found out that its nicotine that is causing my issues for some reason my body is rejecting implantation therefore I am getting prego but my body isn't accepting the child that my husband and I create more testing must be done and while it may never happen but I know that through all of this I will remain quit because I made it nicotine is not needed to survive the emotional death its just another damn thing that I am conquering while nicotine free
So sorry for your loss and anguish. I cannot even begin to understand your pain, but I hope you know there is comfort, concern, support and prayers here from this community.
God Bless you DC. You have support here 29,000 +
You, quitter woman, have a great attitude and resolve.
Stay strong in faith and know you have support here always.
So sorry and I pray for healing and successes. ❤
Never give up.
So sorry. Prayers to you
Never give up!!!Im extremly proud to be quit with you, and I will most certainly be praying for you and your family.
My condolences DC. My wife and I have been there. In times like this, you'll need the same guts, determination, and passion that got you to day 143 and beyond. Quit with you.
Oh, diesel girl, I am so sorry to read this. Keeping you and your husband in my prayers.
Just one and you will be back to where you started, and where you started was desperately wishing you were where you are now.
"The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost
"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" - Samwise Gamgee
HOF: 10.29.16 | FL 2: 02.06.17 | FL 3: 05.17.17 | Y1: 07.22.17 | FL 4: 08.25.17 | FL 5: 12.03.17 | FL 6: 03.13.18 | FL 7: 06.21.18 | Y2: 07.22.18 | FL 8: 09.29.18 | FL 9: 01.07.19 | COMMA , : 04.17.19 | Y3: 07.22.19 | FL 11: 07.26.19 | FL 12: 11.03.19 | FL 13: 02.11.20 | FL 14: 05.21.20 | Y4: 07.22.20 | FL 15: 08.29.20  | FL 16: 12.07.20 | FL 17: 03.17.21 | FL 18: 06.25.21 | Y5: 07.22.21 | FL 19: 06.25.21 | FL 20 ,, : 01.11.22 | FL 21: 04.21.22 | Y6: 07.22.22 | FL 22: 07.30.22 | FL 23: 11.07.22 | FL 24: 02.15.23 | FL 25: 05.26.23 | Y7: 07.22.23 | FL 26: 09.03.23 | FL 27: 12.12.23 | FL 28: 03.21.24 | FL 29: 06.29.24 | Y8: 07.22.24 | FL 30 ,,,: 10.07.24 | FL 31: 01.15.25 | FL 32: 04.25.25 | Y9: 07.22.23 | FL 33: 08.03.25 | FL 34: 11.11.25 | FL 35: 02.19.26 | FL 36: 05.30.26 | Y10 07.22.26 | FL 37: 09.07.26

Steakbomb18

Quote from: Law1358
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: JGlav
Quote from: dieselchick87Day 143 *possible trigger for women trying to get pregnant *

I am not sure at what point this quit became entirely personal but at some point my shred of "I am only quitting cause the doctors said to get fertility testing I had to go off nicotine" well 2 days ago I miscarried at 14weeks (I never once got a positive test ) part of my brain said fuck it quitting didnt keep your child but a bigger side said being quit isnt about a kid(s) its about you......
.
.I dont have anyone else to share with sorry in advance
.
.
.
.
As I laid on my couch crying I felt cheated that I had already made my promise not to use nicotine......it was the 1st out of 12 that I had to deal with the emotions of loss head on.... I ranted and raved to my husband and he told he wouldnt stop me (he had gone through a pack at that time) I got on the site and went to my inbox and looked at all the people I have been talking too and I knew I couldn't throw my quit away without hurting theirs at the same time .......the positive that came out of this was we found out that its nicotine that is causing my issues for some reason my body is rejecting implantation therefore I am getting prego but my body isn't accepting the child that my husband and I create more testing must be done and while it may never happen but I know that through all of this I will remain quit because I made it nicotine is not needed to survive the emotional death its just another damn thing that I am conquering while nicotine free
So sorry for your loss and anguish. I cannot even begin to understand your pain, but I hope you know there is comfort, concern, support and prayers here from this community.
God Bless you DC. You have support here 29,000 +
You, quitter woman, have a great attitude and resolve.
Stay strong in faith and know you have support here always.
So sorry and I pray for healing and successes. ❤
Never give up.
So sorry. Prayers to you
Never give up!!!Im extremly proud to be quit with you, and I will most certainly be praying for you and your family.
My condolences DC. My wife and I have been there. In times like this, you'll need the same guts, determination, and passion that got you to day 143 and beyond. Quit with you.
Certified Grade A Badass

Law1358

Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: JGlav
Quote from: dieselchick87Day 143 *possible trigger for women trying to get pregnant *

I am not sure at what point this quit became entirely personal but at some point my shred of "I am only quitting cause the doctors said to get fertility testing I had to go off nicotine" well 2 days ago I miscarried at 14weeks (I never once got a positive test ) part of my brain said fuck it quitting didnt keep your child but a bigger side said being quit isnt about a kid(s) its about you......
.
.I dont have anyone else to share with sorry in advance
.
.
.
.
As I laid on my couch crying I felt cheated that I had already made my promise not to use nicotine......it was the 1st out of 12 that I had to deal with the emotions of loss head on.... I ranted and raved to my husband and he told he wouldnt stop me (he had gone through a pack at that time) I got on the site and went to my inbox and looked at all the people I have been talking too and I knew I couldn't throw my quit away without hurting theirs at the same time .......the positive that came out of this was we found out that its nicotine that is causing my issues for some reason my body is rejecting implantation therefore I am getting prego but my body isn't accepting the child that my husband and I create more testing must be done and while it may never happen but I know that through all of this I will remain quit because I made it nicotine is not needed to survive the emotional death its just another damn thing that I am conquering while nicotine free
So sorry for your loss and anguish. I cannot even begin to understand your pain, but I hope you know there is comfort, concern, support and prayers here from this community.
God Bless you DC. You have support here 29,000 +
You, quitter woman, have a great attitude and resolve.
Stay strong in faith and know you have support here always.
So sorry and I pray for healing and successes. ❤
Never give up.
So sorry. Prayers to you
Never give up!!!Im extremly proud to be quit with you, and I will most certainly be praying for you and your family.