I'm here as a support person

[worktowin]

Thank you to each of you who replied to me. I read Tom Kern's story to my husband late last night. He said "That's really sad", but this morning the kitchen trash can smells like his stinky little dip wads. When he tiptoed out of the bedroom at 4am, I figured he was slipping away for a dip. I didn't say anything. This morning I was reading Curt Schilling's letter on my phone. My hubby said "What are you looking at?" I said "a 48 year old (my husband's age) baseball player wrote a letter to his 16 year old self" I asked him if he would like to hear it, he did. After a few paragraphs he stopped me from reading it. The thought of losing my husband to cancer terrifies me, we have a 4 year old daughter, I him to be here for her. I wish that I could lovingly get through to him. Is there a forum for spouses of dip addicts on here?
God Bless you all.

Men are stubborn creatures. Nicotine is as addictive as heroin.

You are a great spouse and he is lucky to have you. Unfortunately, this is an individual choice. Nagging, pleading, offering examples of those who have been stricken by this addiction... Yeah in theory it would help. In reality it doesn't. Let him know that you love humans want him to quit. Let him know about this site- which has helped thousands of us do what we couldn't do alone - and when (if) he is ready he will quit.

In the meantime, you are always welcome here.

[Deleted User]

Thank you to each of you who replied to me. I read Tom Kern's story to my husband late last night. He said "That's really sad", but this morning the kitchen trash can smells like his stinky little dip wads. When he tiptoed out of the bedroom at 4am, I figured he was slipping away for a dip. I didn't say anything. This morning I was reading Curt Schilling's letter on my phone. My hubby said "What are you looking at?" I said "a 48 year old (my husband's age) baseball player wrote a letter to his 16 year old self" I asked him if he would like to hear it, he did. After a few paragraphs he stopped me from reading it. The thought of losing my husband to cancer terrifies me, we have a 4 year old daughter, I him to be here for her. I wish that I could lovingly get through to him. Is there a forum for spouses of dip addicts on here?
God Bless you all.

[Supplehands]

Uggh. Lori, so many of us have been your husband. We've lied to our spouses and anyone who would listen. We allowed tobacco to rob us of countless things, not the least of which is our health. Unfortunately the more you push, the more he may pull. Screw it though, something brought each and every one of us to finally give it up here, something will ultimately click with him. Have him read this little story: Kerns Story or have him read about Sean Marsee. Of course he has to quit when he's ready but when he is, point him here.

I'm going to support what Dano said. Sometimes we can be moved by another's story. Sometimes, all in one random moment we have had enough and quit spontaneously. I'm 25 and dipped for at least 7 years. Everyone above me is right, the desire to quit MUST be an internal desire, however, the catalyst to ignight that desire can sometimes be external.

Try to get him to read the stories that Dano mentioned. They had a powerful impact on me. another one was an open letter by Curt Schilling he wrote to himself, I don't have a link because I'm on my phone but I'll try to find it later.

[danojeno]

Uggh. Lori, so many of us have been your husband. We've lied to our spouses and anyone who would listen. We allowed tobacco to rob us of countless things, not the least of which is our health. Unfortunately the more you push, the more he may pull. Screw it though, something brought each and every one of us to finally give it up here, something will ultimately click with him. Have him read this little story: Kerns Story or have him read about Sean Marsee. Of course he has to quit when he's ready but when he is, point him here.

[Rawls]

Hi, My name is Lori. I live in South Jersey. I'm here as a support for my spouse. I love him. I'm worried about him. I do not nag. I pray a lot. I don't want to lose my best friend and husband to cancer. 2 years ago he admitted to me that he hadn't quit, he felt guilty for lying to me, but because I was happy and proud of him "for his quit lie" he just kept going with it. 2 years ago he said "I want to quit... just not yet" now he says "I don't want to quit, I enjoy it too much, maybe I'll quit in year 2025" How can I convince him to make this decision for himself. I write quit quotes in a white sharpie with a pen. I read him the list of the top 100 reasons to quit, he laughed so much. We've been married 17 years, I believe that he has been smoking or chewing for about 30 years. I love and support him, and I really want him to decide to quit, I will walk this road with him. Is there a place for spouses on here?

Wooooolf.
Lori you sound like my wife and best friend.
Keep praying.
It worked for My wife.
And KTC was HIS answer for me.
Just get him to read some truth in here.
He can call me....... Send me PM
Im 51.... Dipped 38 years.
Quit for 436 days.
Feel like I'm in 6th grade again.
Free.
Dont give up...... He hates it.
He is eating with the pigs.
He will come home.
Patience
Respect you.... Towards Him!

[Wt57]

Lori as a lying scum that hid and lied about my addiction to my wife for 35 years of our marriage I can tell you with almost a certainty that there is nothing that you can do until he is ready to quit for himself. That is a sad situation but a fact. Addiction of nicotine is so strong that even when we want to quit it is a real bitch to deal with. My wife never said anything, she knew I dipped even though I thought she was unaware. Keep praying that's what my wife did! And thank God she did I finally did it.

[Deleted User]

Hi, My name is Lori. I live in South Jersey. I'm here as a support for my spouse. I love him. I'm worried about him. I do not nag. I pray a lot. I don't want to lose my best friend and husband to cancer. 2 years ago he admitted to me that he hadn't quit, he felt guilty for lying to me, but because I was happy and proud of him "for his quit lie" he just kept going with it. 2 years ago he said "I want to quit... just not yet" now he says "I don't want to quit, I enjoy it too much, maybe I'll quit in year 2025" How can I convince him to make this decision for himself. I write quit quotes on his cans in a white sharpie. I read him the list of the top 100 reasons to quit, he laughed so much. We've been married 17 years, I believe that he has been smoking or chewing for about 30 years. I love and support him, and I really want him to decide to quit, I will walk this road with him. Is there a place for spouses on here?