Day 1766
I was stopped at a traffic light yesterday and the guy in front of me opened his driver door, leaned out and spit a mouthful of brown slimy dip juice onto the street, then reached in his vestibule and swiped out the poisonous plant leaf and proceeded to throw it on the ground before slamming his door shut. As I watched this happen I realized that was me a few short years ago. Addicted to the same poison, doing the same mantra at each traffic light, disappointed in myself for ever starting this shit and not having the strength to stop using it. I mean, that was the worst part of dipping, the feeling of slavery to it. I couldn't go anywhere with out a can or I would freak out, like the world was going to explode if I didn't get my fix. When I saw this guy leaning out his car door yesterday, I had this flood of emotion return and I remembered vividly what the helplessness of tobacco addiction felt like. I also remembered how fucking hard it was to quit in the beginning, easily the hardest thing I have EVER done. However, with posting daily roll and participating in a strong support structure, I am still here every day. Life is better without dip, I guarantee it.
