Day 99
Here it is - the day before the FIRST big milestone. I realize it is a minor one in the scheme of things. I understand we quit one day at a time. I really get that and that is why I'm still here. But this first milestone makes me feel proud. Wait, my mom isn't reading this. I feel like a fucking beast - I feel like I have balls of mother fucking steel - I'm feeling that crazy voodoo quit shit that Souliman speaks of. I feel free!
And let me be clear, what this site has done for me is so profound that it is virtually impossible to articulate into text. I wish I could stand before so many of you who have offered support and give you a big ol' bro hug - the kind that squeezes your friggin' ribs together (not homo....well, maybe a little homo).
Let me be clear now about two things. First, over the course of my 99 days, I have enjoyed commenting about my journey here in MY little thread. That is what I'm doing here, so this is NOT my HOF speech. I'm gonna write one but want to put some thought into it and not just shoot from the hip like I am now. Besides, I haven't hit it yet...this is only Day 99. Second, on Saturday morning I'll be doing the same thing I've done for the last 99 days. I'll be waking up and posting roll. While I feel great success in ALMOST hitting that sacred 100, I know without question that continued success in this quit will require this ADDICT to quit again, one day at a time.
But for now, I'm just really pumped and proud. I actually logged into KTC at least 20 times today to just go to my group and look again at what Flashman put, "Next up Friday is the station of Aglawyer. Please be on the loading docks and ready to board." I had to make sure I wasn't mistaken. Indeed it is real and I am packed and ready!
Adios amigos.