day zero - tired of the lies

[srans]

Your a man. A F-ing man!, you got this brother I know you do.

I agree with erussell. I'm going to word things a little different. Time to grow some balls.

Nebrask,, a lot of your worrying right now is probably due to the fact your in the suck. Your brain is not going to work right for 3 or 4 days. This is the reason why you take this one day at a time. Slow down and take some deep breaths.

Do you really think your wife didn't know. I bet she did. You probably didn't know she new. That would be the deception that nicotine causes. By small chance she didn't there is no way you keep quitting from her. To many changes coming.

See what nicotine has done to you. You've now begun to
Take your life back. One day at a time bro. Don't worry about day three until you get there. Don't worry about tomorrow until it gets here. I quit with you today.

[Erussell]

Oh I love the word invidious. But you got this man. You've been together a long time. She is going to be pissed until she sees you are truly done. Show her this site and even your post. She will get it.

[Erussell]

Your a man. A F-ing man!, you got this brother I know you do.

[nebraskadad58]

Man let me tell you people hear what you say, people know what they see you do. She will most likely think you are full of crap again, I would, but you have to tell her and in a manly way not sheepish. You are a bad ass if you quit. You are going to show her and us that you are a bad ass not a sheep. Man up go thru the pain and on the other side you look back at sheep until you look in the mirror and get scared for a second cause you almost don't recognize the bad ass standing there looking at you. Most awesome feeling in the world. Biggest key don't quit because your afraid of her quit because you are a bad ass man!

russell,

I quit drinking before i met her. We've been married for going on 23 yrs. This monkey is incidious..

I mowed the lawn came in did the dishes and a craving smacked me. didn't run to the store. :-)
Small victories for now, i just feel so shitty about disappointing her. I am kind of fearful of her reaction. how often she has asked and how often i've said no.. She knew. I just didn't want to admit it.

[Erussell]

Man let me tell you people hear what you say, people know what they see you do. She will most likely think you are full of crap again, I would, but you have to tell her and in a manly way not sheepish. You are a bad ass if you quit. You are going to show her and us that you are a bad ass not a sheep. Man up go thru the pain and on the other side you look back at sheep until you look in the mirror and get scared for a second cause you almost don't recognize the bad ass standing there looking at you. Most awesome feeling in the world. Biggest key don't quit because your afraid of her quit because you are a bad ass man!

[nebraskadad58]

Did the ninja chewing for years... Every time I got caught I would promise to stop then a day or two later new can of the crap.
Finally had to man up tell her I was still doing it - she knew all along, I wasn't really hiding anything from her.
181 days later, I know I am honest with her and she supports me.
Your wife will do the same just honest and ask for her support in this.
You can do this... it will be tough but we are all here for one reason, to quit and we are all here to help.

ladog,
Thanks.. I did admit it sheepishly when busted. Man i feel like shit more about that than anything. Promising myself stop days several times over the last ten years.. I've been good at hiding the can, there are times i knew she knew and she'd ask and i'd lie bold face over the years. I am sick of the dishonesty crap. i can't stand myself right now..

She left for out of town to teach a class at a small college and she spends the night with her mom.. I usually will do stuff around the house. (including a perpetual pinch..)
Mowed the lawn, and just trying to get the lying crap out of my head, i know she will call later i won't know what to say except "i'm am sorry" for the thousandth time..
:ph43r:

[LA_deskdog]

Did the ninja chewing for years... Every time I got caught I would promise to stop then a day or two later new can of the crap.
Finally had to man up tell her I was still doing it - she knew all along, I wasn't really hiding anything from her.
181 days later, I know I am honest with her and she supports me.
Your wife will do the same just honest and ask for her support in this.
You can do this... it will be tough but we are all here for one reason, to quit and we are all here to help.

[flyby]

Bean, thanks.  I just went out and mowed the lawn. Brain is racing. worried about the discussion with wife when she gets home tomorrow night from out of town visit.. I know that is tomorrow and can't do anything about it now.

We went through separation in 2000 for my lying bullsh*t. I am playing out the whole nine yards in my head. Don't know if any other ninja chewer has ever felt the same but that is kicking my ass right now.

Good work! Just make through the fog/suck and I promise it gets easier. Buy some jerky  gum if you find yourself in the gas station. For me jerky was a good sub for the first few days. I'm happy to be quitting with you Nebraskadad

[nebraskadad58]

Bean, thanks. I just went out and mowed the lawn. Brain is racing. worried about the discussion with wife when she gets home tomorrow night from out of town visit.. I know that is tomorrow and can't do anything about it now.

We went through separation in 2000 for my lying bullsh*t. I am playing out the whole nine yards in my head. Don't know if any other ninja chewer has ever felt the same but that is kicking my ass right now.

[Bean]

Great choice, Nebraska!!! It will get worse before it gets better. But that's the thing about freedom...you gotta earn it.

Post roll, read all you can, exercise, water, seeds, fake stuff, jerk off...whatever you have to do.

YOU CAN DO THIS, BROTHER!!!

[nebraskadad58]

Thanks Mich. i think i got in the correct roll call thing.. Not sure. Need to go out and mow the lawn..

[mich 34]

I've had it with myself. Just pitched a full can of griz on way home from work. I've been dipping since a divorce in 2000, was off and on more on than off. Marriage repaired but trust isn't.. I am sick of living to myself, my wife, my kids.. Sick of feeling fear about getting busted by spouse or worse getting jaw or mouth cancer.

On way home i had a dip in, and drove by a trash can at the local ball park and threw it all away.

Now i am here. i want in the worst way to be done, but i know me.. My best plan for setting a date has always been passed by the next friggin' quit day.

Don't know if anyone else has felt this way, i am scared i will run done to the local convenience store when the 1st craving smacks me upside the head.
I know it is a second at a time, a minute, hour, day at a time thing in my mind.
But i am sick of dying one dip at a time. I need help..

My last attempt at quitting lead 3 days of misery and i gave up.
My wife busted me with a can in the coat pocket, I am sick of the hiding and shame..

read the welcome center then post roll. The rules are easy, post roll, honor your word, repeat. Quitting is not easy, time to act like a man and push through something that is going to suck. It gets better and the support here is second to none.

[nebraskadad58]

I've had it with myself. Just pitched a full can of griz on way home from work. I've been dipping since a divorce in 2000, was off and on more on than off. Marriage repaired but trust isn't.. I am sick of living to myself, my wife, my kids.. Sick of feeling fear about getting busted by spouse or worse getting jaw or mouth cancer.

On way home i had a dip in, and drove by a trash can at the local ball park and threw it all away.

Now i am here. i want in the worst way to be done, but i know me.. My best plan for setting a date has always been passed by the next friggin' quit day.

Don't know if anyone else has felt this way, i am scared i will run done to the local convenience store when the 1st craving smacks me upside the head.
I know it is a second at a time, a minute, hour, day at a time thing in my mind.
But i am sick of dying one dip at a time. I need help..

My last attempt at quitting lead 3 days of misery and i gave up.
My wife busted me with a can in the coat pocket, I am sick of the hiding and shame..