For those who don't know me

[jlewis1]

You wanna know how someone can be sideswiped? Just look in the fucking mirror dude.
Don't put yourself in positions where you could cave.
Have a documented protocol to follow before you can cave.
Mine includes smashing my dick with a hammer before I am allowed to dip.

It is either all-in or all-out here. Half-assed quitters equals half-assed "quits" equals slave to the nic bitch AGAIN.

You decide. Do you wanna stay quit? We have already established that your way doesn't work. Why not quit with this one? [/QUOTE]
Not your fault... Huh. Well who's fault is it that you caved and had no plan? News flash -- it is your fault!

No deeper meaning to why you caved... Based on your answers you don't appear to want it bad enough.

Do you want to be quit or are you just giving it a go?

I can tell you that the only way it will work is if you want it more than anything. You can not half ass this thing. You either go after it and be quit or you continue to use and cave.

Which is it?

Your obviously not reading what I'm saying... But I like the protocol idea.

Next, did I even say it wasn't my fault I caved? Hell fucking No. Actually "read" my posts prior this one, or don't post on my thread. Thanks :)

[Derk40]

I am not the sharpest pencil in the cup, jlewis, so I am confused.  Are the three questions appearing under Traumanet's username some how your responses to the three questions?  Why are they not posted under your name?  Are you some how posting them via PM?  Like the only guys relying on your roll and caring about your quit were those you PM or texted with?  We had the same 1/6/14 quit date.  I look for the five souls that quit that day everyday in roll.  Ya, it might seem strange but I felt like that was a group with in the April group.  It was the people that chose to take control of their lives the same day I did.  I reached out to you as soon as I saw you missed roll, never got a response, maybe I should have reached out sooner.  I saw you posted roll yesterday, came to your intro and found nothing.  Came back to check this morning and found what I found which as I already stated somewhat confuses me. PM me your questions?  Why so you cannot reply again? You ended with "Join Me Brothers"....we never left you, you left us.  Join us brother!  Commit to your quit.  I would like to understand this better.  I would like to feel like YOU have answered the questions not your surrogate.  I would like to quit with you.

I moved them to his thread so they would not be lost in the roll thread.

Thanks, I missed that on the first read of your post Trauma....again not the sharpest pencil....

I stand by the rest of my comments JT, and really hope you take a serious look at what happened. You have to own your quit. My girlfriend txt me to pick her a pack of smokes two days ago on my way home.....I felt betrayed, like she was asking an alcoholic to stop at the liquor store and pick up a bottle of Jack. Something she asked me to do a hundred times in the three years we have lived together, but the first time since I quit using nic. I picked them up for her, I am not going to avoid convenience stores for the rest of my life. It was not intentional, and she knew of my quit (hell she's tolerated my assholeness the past three weeks); but the fact that I did not put a can in my pocket two nights ago had nothing to do with her. No one can sideswipe you, you can only kid yourself and cave to your own mind games. Telling people you have quit is good and provides additional accountability, especially if you care about those people, but the quit comes from within. I hope you stick around and remain quit, but I really think you need to look into why you caved a bit deeper, I think it is more internal than external. "Oops, forgot to tell that guy and he offered me a dip....back to Day 1?" I think you have a lot of Day 1's in your future if that is your only plan. Again, I quit with you, will you quit with us?

Ok, so there was a lot said here, and I will try to do my best to answer everything.

Yes those are responses to the 3 questions.
They are posted under my name in both May 2014, and April 2014. I did not think to put them here. So I am not avoiding it if that's what your saying.

I like your ideas that you just posted here, and I am doing a better job of keeping in contact with people. I have sent messages to everyone in the May group, and added each in a contact list as they respond.
(which is in my quit plan I will post later tonight before I retire)

I do not check my email regularity.

It is my fault for not making a plan the first time

as far as the statement "no one can sideswipe you." I dissagree fully. Think about it. If you don't plan ahead, yes you can be sideswiped at any moment.

Mind games hurt my head. So there aren't any mind games of any sort going on in my head.

There was not a plan, so I failed.
I realize that. That is what I am trying to convey to you guys.


There really isn't any deeper meaning to why I caved.

You wanna know how someone can be sideswiped? Just look in the fucking mirror dude.
Don't put yourself in positions where you could cave.
Have a documented protocol to follow before you can cave.
Mine includes smashing my dick with a hammer before I am allowed to dip.

It is either all-in or all-out here. Half-assed quitters equals half-assed "quits" equals slave to the nic bitch AGAIN.

You decide. Do you wanna stay quit? We have already established that your way doesn't work. Why not quit with this one?

Not your fault... Huh. Well who's fault is it that you caved and had no plan? News flash -- it is your fault!

No deeper meaning to why you caved... Based on your answers you don't appear to want it bad enough.

Do you want to be quit or are you just giving it a go?

I can tell you that the only way it will work is if you want it more than anything. You can not half ass this thing. You either go after it and be quit or you continue to use and cave.

Which is it?

[ppolcyn]

I am not the sharpest pencil in the cup, jlewis, so I am confused.  Are the three questions appearing under Traumanet's username some how your responses to the three questions?  Why are they not posted under your name?  Are you some how posting them via PM?  Like the only guys relying on your roll and caring about your quit were those you PM or texted with?  We had the same 1/6/14 quit date.  I look for the five souls that quit that day everyday in roll.  Ya, it might seem strange but I felt like that was a group with in the April group.  It was the people that chose to take control of their lives the same day I did.  I reached out to you as soon as I saw you missed roll, never got a response, maybe I should have reached out sooner.  I saw you posted roll yesterday, came to your intro and found nothing.  Came back to check this morning and found what I found which as I already stated somewhat confuses me. PM me your questions?  Why so you cannot reply again? You ended with "Join Me Brothers"....we never left you, you left us.  Join us brother!  Commit to your quit.  I would like to understand this better.  I would like to feel like YOU have answered the questions not your surrogate.  I would like to quit with you.

I moved them to his thread so they would not be lost in the roll thread.

Thanks, I missed that on the first read of your post Trauma....again not the sharpest pencil....

I stand by the rest of my comments JT, and really hope you take a serious look at what happened. You have to own your quit. My girlfriend txt me to pick her a pack of smokes two days ago on my way home.....I felt betrayed, like she was asking an alcoholic to stop at the liquor store and pick up a bottle of Jack. Something she asked me to do a hundred times in the three years we have lived together, but the first time since I quit using nic. I picked them up for her, I am not going to avoid convenience stores for the rest of my life. It was not intentional, and she knew of my quit (hell she's tolerated my assholeness the past three weeks); but the fact that I did not put a can in my pocket two nights ago had nothing to do with her. No one can sideswipe you, you can only kid yourself and cave to your own mind games. Telling people you have quit is good and provides additional accountability, especially if you care about those people, but the quit comes from within. I hope you stick around and remain quit, but I really think you need to look into why you caved a bit deeper, I think it is more internal than external. "Oops, forgot to tell that guy and he offered me a dip....back to Day 1?" I think you have a lot of Day 1's in your future if that is your only plan. Again, I quit with you, will you quit with us?

Ok, so there was a lot said here, and I will try to do my best to answer everything.

Yes those are responses to the 3 questions.
They are posted under my name in both May 2014, and April 2014. I did not think to put them here. So I am not avoiding it if that's what your saying.

I like your ideas that you just posted here, and I am doing a better job of keeping in contact with people. I have sent messages to everyone in the May group, and added each in a contact list as they respond.
(which is in my quit plan I will post later tonight before I retire)

I do not check my email regularity.

It is my fault for not making a plan the first time

as far as the statement "no one can sideswipe you." I dissagree fully. Think about it. If you don't plan ahead, yes you can be sideswiped at any moment.

Mind games hurt my head. So there aren't any mind games of any sort going on in my head.

There was not a plan, so I failed.
I realize that. That is what I am trying to convey to you guys.


There really isn't any deeper meaning to why I caved.

You wanna know how someone can be sideswiped? Just look in the fucking mirror dude.
Don't put yourself in positions where you could cave.
Have a documented protocol to follow before you can cave.
Mine includes smashing my dick with a hammer before I am allowed to dip.

It is either all-in or all-out here. Half-assed quitters equals half-assed "quits" equals slave to the nic bitch AGAIN.

You decide. Do you wanna stay quit? We have already established that your way doesn't work. Why not quit with this one?

[jlewis1]

I am not the sharpest pencil in the cup, jlewis, so I am confused.  Are the three questions appearing under Traumanet's username some how your responses to the three questions?  Why are they not posted under your name?  Are you some how posting them via PM?  Like the only guys relying on your roll and caring about your quit were those you PM or texted with?  We had the same 1/6/14 quit date.  I look for the five souls that quit that day everyday in roll.  Ya, it might seem strange but I felt like that was a group with in the April group.  It was the people that chose to take control of their lives the same day I did.  I reached out to you as soon as I saw you missed roll, never got a response, maybe I should have reached out sooner.  I saw you posted roll yesterday, came to your intro and found nothing.  Came back to check this morning and found what I found which as I already stated somewhat confuses me. PM me your questions?  Why so you cannot reply again? You ended with "Join Me Brothers"....we never left you, you left us.  Join us brother!  Commit to your quit.  I would like to understand this better.  I would like to feel like YOU have answered the questions not your surrogate.  I would like to quit with you.

I moved them to his thread so they would not be lost in the roll thread.

Thanks, I missed that on the first read of your post Trauma....again not the sharpest pencil....

I stand by the rest of my comments JT, and really hope you take a serious look at what happened. You have to own your quit. My girlfriend txt me to pick her a pack of smokes two days ago on my way home.....I felt betrayed, like she was asking an alcoholic to stop at the liquor store and pick up a bottle of Jack. Something she asked me to do a hundred times in the three years we have lived together, but the first time since I quit using nic. I picked them up for her, I am not going to avoid convenience stores for the rest of my life. It was not intentional, and she knew of my quit (hell she's tolerated my assholeness the past three weeks); but the fact that I did not put a can in my pocket two nights ago had nothing to do with her. No one can sideswipe you, you can only kid yourself and cave to your own mind games. Telling people you have quit is good and provides additional accountability, especially if you care about those people, but the quit comes from within. I hope you stick around and remain quit, but I really think you need to look into why you caved a bit deeper, I think it is more internal than external. "Oops, forgot to tell that guy and he offered me a dip....back to Day 1?" I think you have a lot of Day 1's in your future if that is your only plan. Again, I quit with you, will you quit with us?

Ok, so there was a lot said here, and I will try to do my best to answer everything.

Yes those are responses to the 3 questions.
They are posted under my name in both May 2014, and April 2014. I did not think to put them here. So I am not avoiding it if that's what your saying.

I like your ideas that you just posted here, and I am doing a better job of keeping in contact with people. I have sent messages to everyone in the May group, and added each in a contact list as they respond.
(which is in my quit plan I will post later tonight before I retire)

I do not check my email regularity.

It is my fault for not making a plan the first time

as far as the statement "no one can sideswipe you." I dissagree fully. Think about it. If you don't plan ahead, yes you can be sideswiped at any moment.

Mind games hurt my head. So there aren't any mind games of any sort going on in my head.

There was not a plan, so I failed.
I realize that. That is what I am trying to convey to you guys.


There really isn't any deeper meaning to why I caved.

[Minny]

Nice try to keep this out of your thread. You want accountability but you want responses sent to your PM so you don't have to see the responses publicly. You have to slam the door on her you cant leave the door cracked.

I was not intentionally keeping my answers out of my thread. I just thought of posting in my intro thread again a day ago. give me a break. im still new at this.

1) what happened?
I was sideswiped with an offer of a dip from a "friend". He was oblivious of my quit.
Which is ultimately my fault.


BS

What part? because all I see is admission of the ultimate fault. If it's not my fault, then who the hecks fault is it? (that is accountability).

2) why did it happen?
It happened because I was complacent. I did not stop and think about how far along I was, and how much better off I was without nic.

Complacent after 12 days do you want to be quit? We quit only once!

Yes, I was complacent. keyword: was, emphasis on the past tense. Unless im being fooled, many people fail (even before comming here). So unless you are God, or some higher power, you've quit more than once.

I am not avoiding accountability, because I am open to talking to you guys, about this. I admit that I am not perfect. NOR will I ever be.


---To Be Continued---
I have things to do before my class.
I will answer people back, just be patient.

Look, man, here's the thing: you're going to be around nicotine for the rest of your life and it's nearly always going to be within a proverbial arm's reach. C stores, friends, coworkers, ballgames, whatever. Nic will always be within reach. You're doomed to a life of addiction if you don't have the balls to stand up to it right now. Right now as in, draw a line in the fucking sand and say no more. In other words: QUIT.

Each morning you gotta post roll with your group and say "DAY X - I won't have nic today for any reason". Then, get prepared for life to throw shit at your plan, because guess what: things don't always go according to plan.

Quitting is acknowledging that from now on you're running a gauntlet and that you're gonna be attacked from all sides, be it excuses to have just one because of a good time or excuses to have just one because of a bad time.

I didn't "get" KTC at first. I caved, too, but I stuck around, got back on the horse, and started drinking the kool aid. I hope you do the same. What you're doing right now (staying engaged and having KTC show you TRUTH) is what you need to do. Fight it if you want, argue if you want. In the end they will show you flaws in your thinking and it will HELP YOU. So stick around, keep talking, and get your head straight.

PM me if you want another layer of accountability.

NTFAR
ODAAT

[jlewis1]

Nice try to keep this out of your thread. You want accountability but you want responses sent to your PM so you don't have to see the responses publicly. You have to slam the door on her you cant leave the door cracked.

I was not intentionally keeping my answers out of my thread. I just thought of posting in my intro thread again a day ago. give me a break. im still new at this.

1) what happened?
I was sideswiped with an offer of a dip from a "friend". He was oblivious of my quit.
Which is ultimately my fault.


BS

What part? because all I see is admission of the ultimate fault. If it's not my fault, then who the hecks fault is it? (that is accountability).

2) why did it happen?
It happened because I was complacent. I did not stop and think about how far along I was, and how much better off I was without nic.

Complacent after 12 days do you want to be quit? We quit only once!

Yes, I was complacent. keyword: was, emphasis on the past tense. Unless im being fooled, many people fail (even before comming here). So unless you are God, or some higher power, you've quit more than once.

I am not avoiding accountability, because I am open to talking to you guys, about this. I admit that I am not perfect. NOR will I ever be.


---To Be Continued---
I have things to do before my class.
I will answer people back, just be patient.

[Scowick65]

waiting for lewis...mr j lewis...

[peters6278]

I am not the sharpest pencil in the cup, jlewis, so I am confused.  Are the three questions appearing under Traumanet's username some how your responses to the three questions?  Why are they not posted under your name?  Are you some how posting them via PM?  Like the only guys relying on your roll and caring about your quit were those you PM or texted with?  We had the same 1/6/14 quit date.  I look for the five souls that quit that day everyday in roll.  Ya, it might seem strange but I felt like that was a group with in the April group.  It was the people that chose to take control of their lives the same day I did.  I reached out to you as soon as I saw you missed roll, never got a response, maybe I should have reached out sooner.  I saw you posted roll yesterday, came to your intro and found nothing.  Came back to check this morning and found what I found which as I already stated somewhat confuses me. PM me your questions?  Why so you cannot reply again? You ended with "Join Me Brothers"....we never left you, you left us.  Join us brother!  Commit to your quit.  I would like to understand this better.  I would like to feel like YOU have answered the questions not your surrogate.  I would like to quit with you.

I moved them to his thread so they would not be lost in the roll thread.

Thanks, I missed that on the first read of your post Trauma....again not the sharpest pencil....

I stand by the rest of my comments JT, and really hope you take a serious look at what happened. You have to own your quit. My girlfriend txt me to pick her a pack of smokes two days ago on my way home.....I felt betrayed, like she was asking an alcoholic to stop at the liquor store and pick up a bottle of Jack. Something she asked me to do a hundred times in the three years we have lived together, but the first time since I quit using nic. I picked them up for her, I am not going to avoid convenience stores for the rest of my life. It was not intentional, and she knew of my quit (hell she's tolerated my assholeness the past three weeks); but the fact that I did not put a can in my pocket two nights ago had nothing to do with her. No one can sideswipe you, you can only kid yourself and cave to your own mind games. Telling people you have quit is good and provides additional accountability, especially if you care about those people, but the quit comes from within. I hope you stick around and remain quit, but I really think you need to look into why you caved a bit deeper, I think it is more internal than external. "Oops, forgot to tell that guy and he offered me a dip....back to Day 1?" I think you have a lot of Day 1's in your future if that is your only plan. Again, I quit with you, will you quit with us?

Solid advice SAM83. Jlewis1, I hope you take it....correction, DO take it. It will save you. By all means form a quit group within your quit group. I look for my fellow April 2014 quitters that started their quit (new life) on the same day as I did (1/10/14) every single day on roll.

Havoc, K9 Seducer, Knockout, ssever122, SpencerF

I scrutinize the roll call list for these folks every day and reach out if they miss roll even a single day. They are no more important that my other quit brother in April, or the vets that I correspond with on this forum, but they represent the inner circle of my quit, if only by date association. I may not be able to look out for all 77 of my April quit brothers all of the time, but I can look out for these few every day.

Just part of the network of accountability that SAM83 refers to.

[T-Cell]

JT, when you get it together please post your quit plan here. ok to also post in your HOF group as well.
No more half-assed, wishful attempts. You have now started an actual quit. One day at a time.

[SAM83]

I am not the sharpest pencil in the cup, jlewis, so I am confused.  Are the three questions appearing under Traumanet's username some how your responses to the three questions?  Why are they not posted under your name?  Are you some how posting them via PM?  Like the only guys relying on your roll and caring about your quit were those you PM or texted with?  We had the same 1/6/14 quit date.  I look for the five souls that quit that day everyday in roll.  Ya, it might seem strange but I felt like that was a group with in the April group.  It was the people that chose to take control of their lives the same day I did.  I reached out to you as soon as I saw you missed roll, never got a response, maybe I should have reached out sooner.  I saw you posted roll yesterday, came to your intro and found nothing.  Came back to check this morning and found what I found which as I already stated somewhat confuses me. PM me your questions?  Why so you cannot reply again? You ended with "Join Me Brothers"....we never left you, you left us.  Join us brother!  Commit to your quit.  I would like to understand this better.  I would like to feel like YOU have answered the questions not your surrogate.  I would like to quit with you.

I moved them to his thread so they would not be lost in the roll thread.

Thanks, I missed that on the first read of your post Trauma....again not the sharpest pencil....

I stand by the rest of my comments JT, and really hope you take a serious look at what happened. You have to own your quit. My girlfriend txt me to pick her a pack of smokes two days ago on my way home.....I felt betrayed, like she was asking an alcoholic to stop at the liquor store and pick up a bottle of Jack. Something she asked me to do a hundred times in the three years we have lived together, but the first time since I quit using nic. I picked them up for her, I am not going to avoid convenience stores for the rest of my life. It was not intentional, and she knew of my quit (hell she's tolerated my assholeness the past three weeks); but the fact that I did not put a can in my pocket two nights ago had nothing to do with her. No one can sideswipe you, you can only kid yourself and cave to your own mind games. Telling people you have quit is good and provides additional accountability, especially if you care about those people, but the quit comes from within. I hope you stick around and remain quit, but I really think you need to look into why you caved a bit deeper, I think it is more internal than external. "Oops, forgot to tell that guy and he offered me a dip....back to Day 1?" I think you have a lot of Day 1's in your future if that is your only plan. Again, I quit with you, will you quit with us?

[traumagnet]

I am not the sharpest pencil in the cup, jlewis, so I am confused. Are the three questions appearing under Traumanet's username some how your responses to the three questions? Why are they not posted under your name? Are you some how posting them via PM? Like the only guys relying on your roll and caring about your quit were those you PM or texted with? We had the same 1/6/14 quit date. I look for the five souls that quit that day everyday in roll. Ya, it might seem strange but I felt like that was a group with in the April group. It was the people that chose to take control of their lives the same day I did. I reached out to you as soon as I saw you missed roll, never got a response, maybe I should have reached out sooner. I saw you posted roll yesterday, came to your intro and found nothing. Came back to check this morning and found what I found which as I already stated somewhat confuses me. PM me your questions? Why so you cannot reply again? You ended with "Join Me Brothers"....we never left you, you left us. Join us brother! Commit to your quit. I would like to understand this better. I would like to feel like YOU have answered the questions not your surrogate. I would like to quit with you.

I moved them to his thread so they would not be lost in the roll thread.

[SAM83]

I am not the sharpest pencil in the cup, jlewis, so I am confused. Are the three questions appearing under Traumanet's username some how your responses to the three questions? Why are they not posted under your name? Are you some how posting them via PM? Like the only guys relying on your roll and caring about your quit were those you PM or texted with? We had the same 1/6/14 quit date. I look for the five souls that quit that day everyday in roll. Ya, it might seem strange but I felt like that was a group with in the April group. It was the people that chose to take control of their lives the same day I did. I reached out to you as soon as I saw you missed roll, never got a response, maybe I should have reached out sooner. I saw you posted roll yesterday, came to your intro and found nothing. Came back to check this morning and found what I found which as I already stated somewhat confuses me. PM me your questions? Why so you cannot reply again? You ended with "Join Me Brothers"....we never left you, you left us. Join us brother! Commit to your quit. I would like to understand this better. I would like to feel like YOU have answered the questions not your surrogate. I would like to quit with you.

[traumagnet]

1) what happened?
I was sideswiped with an offer of a dip from a "friend". He was oblivious of my quit.
Which is ultimately my fault.

BS

2) why did it happen?
It happened because I was complacent. I did not stop and think about how far along I was, and how much better off I was without nic.

Complacent after 12 days do you want to be quit? We quit only once!

3) what will be different this time?
This time, I've told everyone I know that I quit. I told people to respect my wishes, and to also not dip around me. I am also a lot stronger than last time. Will prove it to you.

Again, I am sorry brothers. It will not happen again.
Any questions, please just pm me. I probably will not see replies here, unless they are in my inbox.

Nice try to keep this out of your thread. You want accountability but you want responses sent to your PM so you don't have to see the responses publicly. You have to slam the door on her you cant leave the door cracked.

[traumagnet]

Moved to this thread so they are not lost in the roll thread

Hey guys.. I'm on day 5. After a cave 12 days in with the April group.
I'm not proud of it. Say what you will. But I would appreciate some understanding, because this time is different.

1) what happened?
I was sideswiped with an offer of a dip from a "friend". He was oblivious of my quit.
Which is ultimately my fault.

2) why did it happen?
It happened because I was complacent. I did not stop and think about how far along I was, and how much better off I was without nic.

3) what will be different this time?
This time, I've told everyone I know that I quit. I told people to respect my wishes, and to also not dip around me. I am also a lot stronger than last time. Will prove it to you.

Again, I am sorry brothers. It will not happen again.
Any questions, please just pm me. I probably will not see replies here, unless they are in my inbox.

[jlewis1]

We'll guys. I'm back. No words can express the pain and ashamed feelings I've had since I left. Thank God for people who kept me accountable. (Mn_ben). Today is they day I take it to another level. With the help of new people, and old friends, I posted day 5 today. Be as mean as you'd like. I deserve it. I let the bitch get me. I will be posting role, and weaving an even bigger web of accountability for my quit . Join me brothers!