Hey guys, on day 2 and just did my first roll call. I've dipped steady for 15 years, last 4 years on cope pouches. I know they are just as bad but they "felt" like they were safer.
I was just at a sales conference last week, not sleeping much, stressed out and not dipping as normal (being in meetings all day) then suddenly felt some bumps on the gum. They now look like little white ulcerations and just slightly painful - not getting bigger but not gone by day 2.
This has NEVER happened in all my years of dipping - I've always kept everything in check, clean, nice non-dipper smile style. This scared me straight but I'm freaking out wondering if I'm insane that my brain keeps thinking this is the early signs of the big C, that I could become disfigured and live shamed in front of my beautiful new wife who I've hidden this from all along. She's caught me occasionally and I've always 'promised' I'd not do it again - but I always continued to hide it well ---- never before until now have I been ready to quit for MYSELF - prompted in large part to reading this site back to front and reading about some of the guys who have set some great examples (oh also the hilarious 100 best things about quitting article - I was literally rolling out of my chair).....
Its sad I had to get some blisters in the mouth to push me to this point but i am THANKFUL I did so I could do the research, get on this site, quit bullshitting myself and thinking I am invincible and do the right thing.
If anyone can ease my mind about these gum ulcers before I get to the dentists ASAP tomorrow please do my mind is running wild with this shit especially without my normal adult security blanket, aka the stupid dip pouches!!! Thanks for this site!!!!
Thanks and God Bless,
Al
