Hey there. Introductions are great in a way of showing people exactly what you want them to know about you. Internet ones are even easier since its just the words your typing and people cannot determine tone or other verbal cues. I could sit here and type the least amount of information possible to gain your initial trust and gain the motivation from you guys to stay quit. But... I'm an asshole and a liar.
I am currently in the Air Force serving as a Staff Sergeant at Beale AFB, CA. I have been dipping for 14 years. 12 of said years, I constantly lied to my wife, my family, and myself about being quit over and over. I was not held accountable at any other moment than to hide more cans, or explain how a can just showed up somewhere in my house or my car.
I don't know about you guys but I have made promise after fucking promise to those who love me to stay quit, or to quit in general. I never have been able to uphold that promise to them. I never have internalized why I should quit in the first place. I have been just trying to satisfy their requests and it has never worked.
So recently my wife found out that I had been dipping again. The poor woman has put up with 12 years in this relationship of empty promises and has finally had it. We have a beautiful 2 year old daughter (and were planning on having more) and she is no longer willing to force her to grow up with a Dad who is going to kill himself and loves a fucking leaf more than his family. I understand. I made one final promise. I am done with fucking tobacco.
That said, I hovered about this website for about a week deciding if I could live up to the cold turkey no bullshit attitude you all bring to your members. I decided last night was the last piece of poison I would ever put in my lip again. All day clean with no nicotine, I log in to post this Intoduction, wondering after I write all this shit if trust and accountability can be EARNED instead of given. I almost caved before I got to the intro page. I going the Live Chat, talked to Lady G, MCO, and Knockout, flushed the hidden stash, and got in here to pour this intro out.
Day one is gone. Day two has begun. Fuck the Nicotine bitch. Roll has been posted. I quit with all of you today.
You sound ready AS. I want to point out a few things from your intro:
1. This quit has to be about you. The fact is we are selfish fucking addicts, and if you don't do this for yourself, you aren't going to last. Outside motivators are great, they are weapons to help fuel you during the rough times, but a selfish addiction requires a selfish quit. You have a lot to live for, so understand that it's now or never, life or death. Never Again For Any Reason (NAFAR)
2. You are not alone. Every person here has experienced the lies, hiding, and addict actions which plagued you during usage. Your family could not understand what this addiction is like because they were not users. We were, which makes lying here, to those fighting the same battle, unacceptable.
3. This is not like your other attempts. This place can save your life if you buy into the system. Read everything you can on the site; story's, speeches, words of wisdom. You were a slave to nic for 14 years. Educate yourself here, build relationships by reaching out (the people in your group are a good start), and DO NOT USE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
This will not be easy, but we can do it.
Post roll, keep your promise, and hold your brothers and sisters accountable. Repeat each day.
Welcome to KTC brother.
