How did a crave feel then and how about now?

[LLCope]

Day 170

Doing well. I have slept good for well over 60 days now. I am still having rough patches--extended craves occassionally and funky days (some times several in a row), but for the most part I have good days. The good "normal" days are exceeding the bad!

I just wanted to share some thoughts today. To me there are two parts to this nicotine withdrawal process.

The first part is the realization that we are addicts. We must realize and accept this. When it comes to nicotine we will always be addicts. That, however, is not a bad realization---all it means is that we can never just have one. It does not mean that we will always be thinking or craving nicotine, it just means we can never use again. The Law: Never ONCE!

The second part is recovery. Recovery (to me) is a process not an event. The vets on this site have finished and shut the door on recovery;however, the rest of us are still wading through this process. Recovey is different for every person, but we all share certain parts (maybe at different times) of the process.
LOOT's LAW--Don't forget the worst part of recovery--DAY ONE

Recovery:

If you are anxious and depressed--that is normal and for most it will be temporary (probably for 99%)

If you can't sleep--that is normal---for most sleep will be resolved and be restored--some have sleep issues early--some later in the recovery.

If you crave--that is normal--craving will become less and less

If you are angry--that is normal-- anger will subside as you move further from the bitch

If your mouth hurts --that is normal--- your mouth is healing itself

If you can't concentrate--that is normal-- it will return.

ETC ETC

For all you newbies--RECOVERY is a process that you will eventually be able to shut the door on. You need two things---change of mind and faith in the process that the body/mind will bring itself back into balance. It will bring BALANCE. You just need TIME!

[Scowick65]

Day 154-- 5 whole months

Just wanted to record this day in my thread. Five months ago I made a great choice. I became a free man. This has been the most rewarding accomplishment of my life outside my wife and three kids.

This journey was not easy, but I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I can't tell the distance from me to the light, but I can see the light.

I am still having a few craves daily, but nothing major. I am no longer fearing craves or funks--bring it on! I know I can't get around them and that I must go THROUGH.

Today is a good day---feeling great---my Quit is EPIC. Let's fight the beast. The more we fight the weaker the beast becomes...

Louisiana Lance!

:)

[LLCope]

Day 154-- 5 whole months

Just wanted to record this day in my thread. Five months ago I made a great choice. I became a free man. This has been the most rewarding accomplishment of my life outside my wife and three kids.

This journey was not easy, but I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I can't tell the distance from me to the light, but I can see the light.

I am still having a few craves daily, but nothing major. I am no longer fearing craves or funks--bring it on! I know I can't get around them and that I must go THROUGH.

Today is a good day---feeling great---my Quit is EPIC. Let's fight the beast. The more we fight the weaker the beast becomes...

Louisiana Lance!

[nicofiend]

Day 140

Sunday morning me and the family went hiking at a nearby state park. I craved from the time we left until we returned.

Monday--craved in the morning, but then shook it off for the rest of the day

Yesterday, I craved from around 10 am to 2pm --right out of nowhere.



WTF!

Pisses me off--things were going well and then this funk out of nowhere. I keep kicking the bitch to the street!

'finger point'

Cope I have craves that just comes out of the blue and hits me with the same intensity that I experienced in preHOF, about the 1-30 day quit period! These suckers come in at just about any given time, and if your not strong, caving could be possible! Thats why I have got to post roll and give my word daily or I will cave!! Stay strong brother! Proud to be quit with you today. nico

[Scowick65]

Thanks Gump and Dante! I appreciate the words of encouragement. This funk is discouraging, but it is nothing like pre-HOF funks in intensity. The healing process continues and I fully embrace it!

Dante--congrats on the expected baby--that is awesome. Quitheads for Life.

I have had some funks lately myself. Day 280. I think she just likes to check in every so often. A booty call of sorts. I told her to get the fuck out of my life again. I am in a happily committed relationship with freedom.

[LLCope]

Thanks Gump and Dante! I appreciate the words of encouragement. This funk is discouraging, but it is nothing like pre-HOF funks in intensity. The healing process continues and I fully embrace it!

Dante--congrats on the expected baby--that is awesome. Quitheads for Life.

[Gump]

Day 140

Sunday morning me and the family went hiking at a nearby state park. I craved from the time we left until we returned.

Monday--craved in the morning, but then shook it off for the rest of the day

Yesterday, I craved from around 10 am to 2pm --right out of nowhere.



WTF!

Pisses me off--things were going well and then this funk out of nowhere. I keep kicking the bitch to the street!

'finger point'

Ha, keep on being pissed off.

I had a tobacco dream two nights ago, after more than two years Quit. This looked like a cigarette, no filter, the size of a cigar, with the paper all tattered and chew spilling out of it (I know, seriously convoluted). In my dream I took it and stuck it in my mouth, then did a Clinton and didn't inhale.

I remember having chew stuck on my lips though, and trying frantically to spit it out, wondering if any crossed the membrane, where I would have to go back to day 1. I dreamed that I woke up, and couldn't quite tell if it was a dream or not. Then I really did wake up, relieved.

You don't control the craves, or the dreams. But you control your actions.

[dante]

LL,

I feel your pain. I've been really busy at work and home is getting more and more anxious (wating on a baby). I've been really craving too! Hang in there bro...we will get through this together! Quitheads for life!

Dante

[LLCope]

Day 140

Sunday morning me and the family went hiking at a nearby state park. I craved from the time we left until we returned.

Monday--craved in the morning, but then shook it off for the rest of the day

Yesterday, I craved from around 10 am to 2pm --right out of nowhere.



WTF!

Pisses me off--things were going well and then this funk out of nowhere. I keep kicking the bitch to the street!

'finger point'

[tazmed]

Old folks would rally together and take over Canada.

Stop the Canadians!!! 'archer'

[Souliman]

I would have got up, gone down to the barber shop and got my high and tight and a clean shave. Had a nice breakfast of eggs, sausage and toast, had my coffee. Then I would have put my Sunday best on and pulled that old Bible of Quit out of the night stand (the old testament version...the BIG book) tucked that thing under my arm and marched down to the center of town to the steps of the church and unleashed a sermon of pain on your ass like never before seen. Children would age years as my words hit their ears. Old folks would rally together and take over Canada. Dogs and cats exploding instantaneously in the streets. The tongue lashing would actually inspire the Mets to make the playoffs. Newt would ask Hillary for political advice. All this chaos has been averted thankfully because it was just a dream and in fact, you are a world class quitter and someone we admire.

[LLCope]

Day 136

Last night I had a long dip dream. However, it wasn't really a dip dream--it was a cigarette dream (I smoked for 16 years and only dipped for the last two years before quitting).

This dream seemed to last all night and it covered the whole process of caving.


Here is how the dream went--the setting was an all day birthday party for my wife with all our family and friends there:

# 1---I made the conscious choice to smoke just one since it was offered to me.

# 2--- I remember saying to myself--that one would not hurt

# 3--- I kept smoking an occassional cigarette as the dream progressed

# 4-- By the end of the dream I was telling my wife that I was hooked again and could not quit---she was pisssed! I had to go and buy a pack at the store.

#5 -- I thought of coming in here to explain my cave--I knew Souliman would give me HELL. I knew my August quit brothers would be ashamed.


The thing that really struck me about the dream, however, Is the feeling of helplessness once I became hooked again. I remember that feeling well when I smoked and then dipped. I wanted to quit, but felt helpless to take action.

This dream has made my quit stronger. We need to be constantly reminded (especially as it gets easier) about the prison we once occupied. I am on day 136 and the quit is very easy right now. It is when the quit is easy, that we need to help Newbs and be involved on this site to remind us of the two most important laws---- #1 The Law of Addiction---NOT ONCE! #2 Loot's Law --Remember day 1 (remember the prison).


Peace Out

[LLCope]

Day 127

I want to take this opportunity to plead with the 2011 August quit group to continue to post roll. Do not leave this acountability and this resource.


My quit is going great! This is the time that I need this place the most. This morning, the thought crept in my head that soon I won't need this place--"All is Smooth".

I think that was the addiction talking. I said: 'finger point' and then I said: 'Finger'



Peace Out

[Wild_Bill]

LouLance,
You are awesome and truly an inspiration to me.

I am proud to quit with you today.

whsii - Day 14

[LLCope]

Day 121

Still going OK. I am in a small funk (not as bad as before) and having some decent sized craves. I keep kicking the bitch to the curb and moving on. All you newbs listen up---wow does it get better---stay the course--JUST TODAY.


Whenever, I have a crave or am in a funk, I start to dwell on everything positive in my life. There are a lot. I always start with my family----I have an awesome wife (smoking hot!! and smart too...). She fucking rocks my quit with support. I have three wonderful sons. The first wants to be a scientist ---he already knows this in 4th grade. My second son already has movement on his fastball--had a MLB scout driving by my house the other day!!!. My third son is my shadow--never leaves my side---my lil bud! These thoughts of my family always make craves and funks look really, really, really small and insignificant.

Let's see--am I going to choose my wonderful family or the cancerous turd....hmmm.....?

LL (Louisiana Lance)