Help my 16 yr old son is addicted!

[outdoortexan]

I hope you still check this thread. I wish there was a magical answer to this. But there isn't. I talk to kids all the time and the one thing you can count on is the "I'm bulletproof" additude. And I can't fault them for that, I had it too.

Support is going to be the key. He will have to realize the dangers of tobacco on his own. But that doesn't mean you stop caring and sharing with him everything you find. Never give up your efforts but realize when they begin to ire him and give a little room. Chasing him too much with the truth can turn him away from your message.

Kids need to belong. They gravitate towards those they feel most like them. And some will shy away from my story since I was over 40 when I found my cancer. A good source to use that may be closer to his age is that of Gruen Von Behrens. Just google his name and you can find tons on him. He started dipping young, 14 I think, and got hit with cancer at 17.

At any rate, should you check back in, my best wishes and prayers go out to you and your son. Stay strong in the fight.

[CoachDoc]

Hi.  I have a 16yr old son who has been battling the dip addiction on  off for the last 3 years.  It's only getting worse.  I realize that punishing him or taking things away has not helped.  I've put accountability measures in place, but I can't be with him all day.  His friends at school buy him dip. 

He doesn't think it's a big deal.  I know what a big deal it is and I want to do everything in my power to help him kick this addiction before he moves away to college and is out on his own.

I don't know where to start.  Of course, keep in mind...he's 16 so he knows EVERYTHING!  :)

Do you have any advice?

I appreciate your help. 

Whatever it takes,
D :(

i'm going to step out of character a moment here. i hate to tell you this, but other than then links to the pictures and the story in the first response, we really can't help. if your son wants to fight the addiction (there is no off  on - it's always on) that's one thing, but he doesn't. we can't make him quit. you can't make him quit. the prettiest girl in school can't make him quit. he's bound and determined to continue poisoning his body, and the only one who can do anything about it is him. whether it's peer pressure, the feeling of rebellion, or that he thinks he enjoys it, he will continue as a user until he decides he want to quit.

by all means, share the jenny and tom kern story. share the pictures you see here. find more pictures to show him. just realize there is only one person who can make him a successful quitter, and that is him. i know, as a parent, we want to do everything we can to protect our children from harm. but we can't always do it. short of home schooling and confining him to the house 24/7 there is no way to keep him from getting the fix he craves. i'm sorry. i can only hope he comes to his senses before it's too late.

dbrawley,
I have to say that I agree wholeheartedly with Syndrome. If your son doesn't want to quit, he won't quit.

To counter his wanting to dip, by all means, you as his father can show him this site. You can show him the cancer stories and the heart wrenching Kern letter, but unfortunately, we couldn't allow your son to become a member of this site.

We are currently set up to help adults fight this addiction. Adult topics are posted on this site, with adult language, and as a distraction, there are also adult only links posted by some members. Most are in a humorous vein, but they are still intended for adults only.

With all of that said, we have a wonderful member of our site, a cancer survivor (you can see his pictures on KTC if you like), named outdoortexan (Curtis).

Outdoortexan has dedicated a good part of his life working with kids, to keep them off of dip and to get them to quit dipping. He visits schools, he speaks at anti tobacco events, and he may very well be our best resource for helping kids in this battle. I've had the privilege of seeing ODT work with kids in person and he is definitely someone you would want in your corner.

I recommend sending him a personal message (PM) and asking for his advice. I will also send him a message, directing him to this thread.

I wish you and your son the best. Thank you for being proactive with your son instead of turning a blind eye.

Bump this.

I know Ricko has done a TON of work at his high school. I think he's a teacher or coach.

Look him up too.

Hell, there are a ton of coaches here (myself included) that work with young people that would be willing to help.

Sent a PM earlier...

Although this site isn't going to be appropriate for your son, it is, however, appropriate for you. I'd like you to continue posting up how things are going with your boy. If nothing else, it gives you a place to vent - and you staying sane in dealing with this is going to be important. Hell, unless you have been a dipper or smoker, you might not understand where he is coming from. We could help you in that sense.

I promise that there are tons of people on here that want to see your boy succeed in kicking this habit...and there are plenty of us that would be willing to help in whatever way we can. Let us know.

Also, it is kinda important to know...do or did you dip or smoke?

[Nolaq]

Hi.  I have a 16yr old son who has been battling the dip addiction on  off for the last 3 years.  It's only getting worse.  I realize that punishing him or taking things away has not helped.  I've put accountability measures in place, but I can't be with him all day.  His friends at school buy him dip. 

He doesn't think it's a big deal.  I know what a big deal it is and I want to do everything in my power to help him kick this addiction before he moves away to college and is out on his own.

I don't know where to start.  Of course, keep in mind...he's 16 so he knows EVERYTHING!  :)

Do you have any advice?

I appreciate your help. 

Whatever it takes,
D :(

i'm going to step out of character a moment here. i hate to tell you this, but other than then links to the pictures and the story in the first response, we really can't help. if your son wants to fight the addiction (there is no off  on - it's always on) that's one thing, but he doesn't. we can't make him quit. you can't make him quit. the prettiest girl in school can't make him quit. he's bound and determined to continue poisoning his body, and the only one who can do anything about it is him. whether it's peer pressure, the feeling of rebellion, or that he thinks he enjoys it, he will continue as a user until he decides he want to quit.

by all means, share the jenny and tom kern story. share the pictures you see here. find more pictures to show him. just realize there is only one person who can make him a successful quitter, and that is him. i know, as a parent, we want to do everything we can to protect our children from harm. but we can't always do it. short of home schooling and confining him to the house 24/7 there is no way to keep him from getting the fix he craves. i'm sorry. i can only hope he comes to his senses before it's too late.

dbrawley,
I have to say that I agree wholeheartedly with Syndrome. If your son doesn't want to quit, he won't quit.

To counter his wanting to dip, by all means, you as his father can show him this site. You can show him the cancer stories and the heart wrenching Kern letter, but unfortunately, we couldn't allow your son to become a member of this site.

We are currently set up to help adults fight this addiction. Adult topics are posted on this site, with adult language, and as a distraction, there are also adult only links posted by some members. Most are in a humorous vein, but they are still intended for adults only.

With all of that said, we have a wonderful member of our site, a cancer survivor (you can see his pictures on KTC if you like), named outdoortexan (Curtis).

Outdoortexan has dedicated a good part of his life working with kids, to keep them off of dip and to get them to quit dipping. He visits schools, he speaks at anti tobacco events, and he may very well be our best resource for helping kids in this battle. I've had the privilege of seeing ODT work with kids in person and he is definitely someone you would want in your corner.

I recommend sending him a personal message (PM) and asking for his advice. I will also send him a message, directing him to this thread.

I wish you and your son the best. Thank you for being proactive with your son instead of turning a blind eye.

Bump this.

I know Ricko has done a TON of work at his high school. I think he's a teacher or coach.

Look him up too.

Hell, there are a ton of coaches here (myself included) that work with young people that would be willing to help.

[kcah]

Like the others said he will only quit if he wants it, he has to own the quit.


Coming from an addict I wouldn't start with storys, that shit happens to other people, not to me.



Show him the pictures, the cancer pics, the bad ones. Make him look.

I am a pretty tough guy, 3 tour combat veteran, I have put my boots on 6 of the 7 continents, I hunt and fish all year long.

To this day, even after chewing for years I can not look at those pictures, they scare the hell out of me. And I bet if you ask most of the guys on this site they are the same way. They may glance at them but I bet it scares the hell out of them to really look.


KC


True that, KC. I WON'T look at those pictures. Hell, I'm not even ready to look in my own mouth yet and haven't had a hard look in there in a few years. For my 6 month anniversary I'm going to take myself to the dentist, where I also haven't been in about 5 years. That oughta be fun, but at least I'll be spared "the lecture."


dslisonit

dont wait 6 months, go on day 30. You will thank yourself.


I went around day 30, at about day 70 i had a deep scaling and root planing done, it hurt like hell but man do I feel good now.

I never got any lectures they were happy to see me, even after a couple years.


I dont want to take away from this threads original subject but if you have any questions PM me.


KC

[dslisonit]

Like the others said he will only quit if he wants it, he has to own the quit.


Coming from an addict I wouldn't start with storys, that shit happens to other people, not to me.



Show him the pictures, the cancer pics, the bad ones. Make him look.

I am a pretty tough guy, 3 tour combat veteran, I have put my boots on 6 of the 7 continents, I hunt and fish all year long.

To this day, even after chewing for years I can not look at those pictures, they scare the hell out of me. And I bet if you ask most of the guys on this site they are the same way. They may glance at them but I bet it scares the hell out of them to really look.


KC


True that, KC. I WON'T look at those pictures. Hell, I'm not even ready to look in my own mouth yet and haven't had a hard look in there in a few years. For my 6 month anniversary I'm going to take myself to the dentist, where I also haven't been in about 5 years. That oughta be fun, but at least I'll be spared "the lecture."


dslisonit

[kcah]

Like the others said he will only quit if he wants it, he has to own the quit.


Coming from an addict I wouldn't start with storys, that shit happens to other people, not to me.



Show him the pictures, the cancer pics, the bad ones. Make him look.

I am a pretty tough guy, 3 tour combat veteran, I have put my boots on 6 of the 7 continents, I hunt and fish all year long.

To this day, even after chewing for years I can not look at those pictures, they scare the hell out of me. And I bet if you ask most of the guys on this site they are the same way. They may glance at them but I bet it scares the hell out of them to really look.


KC

[Remshot]

Hi.  I have a 16yr old son who has been battling the dip addiction on  off for the last 3 years.  It's only getting worse.  I realize that punishing him or taking things away has not helped.  I've put accountability measures in place, but I can't be with him all day.  His friends at school buy him dip. 

He doesn't think it's a big deal.  I know what a big deal it is and I want to do everything in my power to help him kick this addiction before he moves away to college and is out on his own.

I don't know where to start.  Of course, keep in mind...he's 16 so he knows EVERYTHING!  :)

Do you have any advice?

I appreciate your help. 

Whatever it takes,
D :(

i'm going to step out of character a moment here. i hate to tell you this, but other than then links to the pictures and the story in the first response, we really can't help. if your son wants to fight the addiction (there is no off  on - it's always on) that's one thing, but he doesn't. we can't make him quit. you can't make him quit. the prettiest girl in school can't make him quit. he's bound and determined to continue poisoning his body, and the only one who can do anything about it is him. whether it's peer pressure, the feeling of rebellion, or that he thinks he enjoys it, he will continue as a user until he decides he want to quit.

by all means, share the jenny and tom kern story. share the pictures you see here. find more pictures to show him. just realize there is only one person who can make him a successful quitter, and that is him. i know, as a parent, we want to do everything we can to protect our children from harm. but we can't always do it. short of home schooling and confining him to the house 24/7 there is no way to keep him from getting the fix he craves. i'm sorry. i can only hope he comes to his senses before it's too late.

dbrawley,
I have to say that I agree wholeheartedly with Syndrome. If your son doesn't want to quit, he won't quit.

To counter his wanting to dip, by all means, you as his father can show him this site. You can show him the cancer stories and the heart wrenching Kern letter, but unfortunately, we couldn't allow your son to become a member of this site.

We are currently set up to help adults fight this addiction. Adult topics are posted on this site, with adult language, and as a distraction, there are also adult only links posted by some members. Most are in a humorous vein, but they are still intended for adults only.

With all of that said, we have a wonderful member of our site, a cancer survivor (you can see his pictures on KTC if you like), named outdoortexan (Curtis).

Outdoortexan has dedicated a good part of his life working with kids, to keep them off of dip and to get them to quit dipping. He visits schools, he speaks at anti tobacco events, and he may very well be our best resource for helping kids in this battle. I've had the privilege of seeing ODT work with kids in person and he is definitely someone you would want in your corner.

I recommend sending him a personal message (PM) and asking for his advice. I will also send him a message, directing him to this thread.

I wish you and your son the best. Thank you for being proactive with your son instead of turning a blind eye.

[syndrome]

Hi.  I have a 16yr old son who has been battling the dip addiction on  off for the last 3 years.  It's only getting worse.  I realize that punishing him or taking things away has not helped.  I've put accountability measures in place, but I can't be with him all day.  His friends at school buy him dip. 

He doesn't think it's a big deal.  I know what a big deal it is and I want to do everything in my power to help him kick this addiction before he moves away to college and is out on his own.

I don't know where to start.  Of course, keep in mind...he's 16 so he knows EVERYTHING!  :)

Do you have any advice?

I appreciate your help. 

Whatever it takes,
D :(

i'm going to step out of character a moment here. i hate to tell you this, but other than then links to the pictures and the story in the first response, we really can't help. if your son wants to fight the addiction (there is no off  on - it's always on) that's one thing, but he doesn't. we can't make him quit. you can't make him quit. the prettiest girl in school can't make him quit. he's bound and determined to continue poisoning his body, and the only one who can do anything about it is him. whether it's peer pressure, the feeling of rebellion, or that he thinks he enjoys it, he will continue as a user until he decides he want to quit.

by all means, share the jenny and tom kern story. share the pictures you see here. find more pictures to show him. just realize there is only one person who can make him a successful quitter, and that is him. i know, as a parent, we want to do everything we can to protect our children from harm. but we can't always do it. short of home schooling and confining him to the house 24/7 there is no way to keep him from getting the fix he craves. i'm sorry. i can only hope he comes to his senses before it's too late.

[ChewCrewRetiree]

Hi.  I have a 16yr old son who has been battling the dip addiction on  off for the last 3 years.  It's only getting worse.  I realize that punishing him or taking things away has not helped.  I've put accountability measures in place, but I can't be with him all day.  His friends at school buy him dip. 

He doesn't think it's a big deal.  I know what a big deal it is and I want to do everything in my power to help him kick this addiction before he moves away to college and is out on his own.

I don't know where to start.  Of course, keep in mind...he's 16 so he knows EVERYTHING!  :)

Do you have any advice?

I appreciate your help. 

Whatever it takes,
D :(

D,

Frankly in this situation, more is more. You need to get your son on here, and like my comrade Dipp said, you need to show him pics, stories, posts, etc. Take a moment yourself and look around. At the top left of the page, there is a pink link "Welcome Center". This will show you the concept of KTC and how we operate on a daily basis. Also, the KillTheCan.org link to the right of the Welcome Center will take you to the main page with links to more stories, pictures, and what have you.

This is the most crucial element of this site. I know I speak for more than myself when I say that, the more reading you do on this site, be it words of wisdom, hall of fame speeches, pictures from the past etc, the more it fuels your quit.

Personally, I was in a similar boat as your son when I first started. I was one of the "young, dumb, and invincible" variety that seem to become more and more common. Thought I was saving my life by not turning my lungs black and hackin up big lung biscuits. Ha, fuck that. This place is a savior. If you can get your son here and get him to take the bait, this brotherhood will do everything in our power to help fuel his quit. The comradery here is incredible, we're all a band fighting towards the same goal, battling the same addiction, each and every day.

Crew

[UK23]

Hi. I have a 16yr old son who has been battling the dip addiction on  off for the last 3 years. It's only getting worse. I realize that punishing him or taking things away has not helped. I've put accountability measures in place, but I can't be with him all day. His friends at school buy him dip.

He doesn't think it's a big deal. I know what a big deal it is and I want to do everything in my power to help him kick this addiction before he moves away to college and is out on his own.

I don't know where to start. Of course, keep in mind...he's 16 so he knows EVERYTHING! :)

Do you have any advice?

I appreciate your help.

Whatever it takes,
D :(

i was the same way. thought i could do anything and not get hurt and i still do that alot thats the thing about being young. my parents found out i was dipping and i eventually got good at hiding it so if you think he stopped just cuz u dont see it look again. all i can say is show him some pictures and try to talk him into quiting. might not work but worth a try and introduce him to this site. maybe he will do what i did and just realize one day that this stuff is killing him and needs to quit.

[dippshit]

Hi. I have a 16yr old son who has been battling the dip addiction on  off for the last 3 years. It's only getting worse. I realize that punishing him or taking things away has not helped. I've put accountability measures in place, but I can't be with him all day. His friends at school buy him dip.

He doesn't think it's a big deal. I know what a big deal it is and I want to do everything in my power to help him kick this addiction before he moves away to college and is out on his own.

I don't know where to start. Of course, keep in mind...he's 16 so he knows EVERYTHING! :)

Do you have any advice?

I appreciate your help.

Whatever it takes,
D :(

D,

If anyone understands, it's us. You will not change him, fix him or cure his addiction. All that you can do is try to educate him. Show him some Pictures. Read him a Story. Get him into our Chat Room, on the forum, and around some positive role models who don't romanticize the shit. Whenever people come on here trying to help a son, brother, husband or friend... This is always the hardest part to tell them. All you can do is bring a horse to water. It is fundamentally up to him if he wants to quit. If he doesn't want it, it isn't gonna happen. I know it hurts hearing that, but its the cold hard truth.

Try getting him around this place though, the power free addicts have over those still using a substance can be powerful stuff.

Reach out if you need anything.

dipp - 108

[dbrawley]

Hi. I have a 16yr old son who has been battling the dip addiction on  off for the last 3 years. It's only getting worse. I realize that punishing him or taking things away has not helped. I've put accountability measures in place, but I can't be with him all day. His friends at school buy him dip.

He doesn't think it's a big deal. I know what a big deal it is and I want to do everything in my power to help him kick this addiction before he moves away to college and is out on his own.

I don't know where to start. Of course, keep in mind...he's 16 so he knows EVERYTHING! :)

Do you have any advice?

I appreciate your help.

Whatever it takes,
D :(