Okay, my original intro sucked, so updating it now. Probably gonna take a page from ddodgesÂ’ book and use the intro page to rant and express my thoughts. My username is ghey by the way. Wish I would have thought of something a little better.
I am an addict. When I like something, I do it a lot. I had my first dip my senior year in high school. It was a pouch, and it was great. I felt like I had a perfect buzz going. I barely made it back home that night without shitting my pants though (loosens you up).
Next time I dipped it was long cut. We went to a high school house party on Friday night after consuming copious amounts of chicken wings at Hooters. It was Grizzly mint long cut. I had it in for about 5 minutes before I started dry heaving. Immediately my stomach was in knots. I only knew the people I came with. I ended up going to the bathroom , and I was in there for about 10 minutes shitting my brains out. It smelled awful. People were banging on the door, because they needed to use the restroom, and I was still finishing up my business. When I finally felt that my stomach was okay, I proceeded to exit the bathroom to a crowd of staring faces. I said, “You may want to give it a minute,” and promptly walked straight the fuck out the door.
Why the fuck I kept dipping after that embarrassment is beyond me. I continued to poison my body for 11 years. IÂ’ll be 28 in 18 days, and I have been addicted to dip since I was 17.
The millennial generation is big on rewards. I considered dip a reward. Got out of bed today – reward, dip. Worked until lunch – reward, bathroom dip. The after work dip was one of my favorites. After dinner wasn’t necessarily a reward, but more of a routine.
Then there are the routines. It’s baseball season, dip. It’s hockey season, dip. Taking a shit, dip. After any food consumption whatsoever, dip. In the car, dip. Drunk, dip. Getting warm outside, dip. Getting cold outside, dip. You get the drift. I could rationalize anything – still can.
Do I miss dip? You bet your ass. I loved feeling like a badass throwing that fucking dirt in my mouth and the way it deceived me into thinking it helped me focus. Am I an addict? Most definitely. I have an addictive personality. So why quit? Fuck dip. I want freedom. I donÂ’t want to be a slave to nic anymore. I donÂ’t want to cope with problems with a crutch of nicotine. I want to actually experience life without it. I used nic when I was sad and when I was happy and all the in-betweens. Now I want to be free.
IÂ’m thankful for this website, and for all of you BAQs that encourage me every single day. IÂ’m thankful for my August class and for the people who are taking the quit seriously and fighting the cravings hard. IÂ’m thankful that I stumbled upon this fucking website and that I actually started using it in the fog of day 3, which was 9 days ago. I used to think I could quit and sometime down the roadÂ… maybe 1 year or 5 yearsÂ… or even 10 years have another dip. But I know that would be suicide. ODAAT. Every day, ODAAT and freedom. Thanks everyone.
