Withdrawal sux

[Souliman]

Dale my deepest sympathies friend.

[Bruce]

I'm sorry 30, I STAY quit with you

[dippshit]

30, you are in my prayers. I truly feel for you and your family. Stay strong.

[30yraddict]

Day 75

I just found out today that my 50 year old brother's throat cancer has come back with a vengeance.  He now has a trach. He has a tumor growing on his cardioid artery, which the doctors don't have any way to treat.  A max of 5 years is what they give him. 5 years lived more like a sentence than a life....Indeed a sad day for me.  He was a smoker for the last 36 years or so.  He was still smoking in Feb when I saw him, despite going through chemo and radiation.  Reminded me of watching my mother smoking and then strapping the oxygen to her nose.  The oxygen that she needed because of emphysema.  As loot said the other day Addiction is a motherfucker.  And while we are all responsible for ourselves, and nobody forces us to use nicotine, the fact is there is a pusher out there.  That pusher doesn't give a damn about the lives, the misery, the destroyed families. Doesn't care about widows, or orphans.  Doesn't care about cancer. Doesn't care about someone who will never be able to talk again. Doesn't care that I lost my mother when she was 54.  A slow death by asphyxiation.  Or that I will probably loose my brother by the time he is 54.  Doesn't care that he will have surgery after surgery.  Doesn't care that my father has to watch his son in so much misery just like he watched his wife of 35 years. It's enough to break even the strongest of men - and it has.

That pusher only cares to keep you addicted. So the pusher can make money. I am ANGRY.  I HATE THE PUSHER, There is no justice.  There is no revenge to be had except this:  The only thing I can do to get even is to stay quit. And help you do the same.

I'll be back here tomorrow.  And my mission has more resolve than it ever has.  God help big tobacco.

I just got the sad news that Hospice has been called in for my brother. It is going to be a sad Christmas...not much to say except I am filled with sorrow. He is now 51 and it is unlikely that he will see 52.

My brother makes the third person in my family that has been murdered by big tobacco

Grandfather- emphysema

Mother - emphysema

Brother- Throat Cancer

Stay Quit.

[30yraddict]

Withdrawals do suck.  I do best when I embrace the suck.  When I realize it's my addict throwing a childish temper tantrum, I can smile....even chuckle at its lame efforts to stay alive.  "Is that the best you got" is my favorite response.

But, I'm not always so strong.  The addict bitch keep chewing at the heels.  Sometimes I just want to rest.  But I can't...it's like a war...the last person standing wins.  I might get tired, but I can't lie down.  You see, I believe my addict is also getting tired.  Now is not the time to lie down, it's the time to remind my addict who is boss!

I take control back when I lose strength.  I can take it back by reminding myself why I'm doing this.  Reading and posting on KTC helps more than anything.  Sometimes my rants (like this one) stem from winning another bitch of a battle, other times I just post when I'm having a hard time finding the energy to stay with it.  Either I feel great and can share things that motivated me, or I'm struggling and I ask for help.  Give help, ask for help.  That's how I see it. 

If I can't get to a computer, then I have 3 cell #'s to text.  They're always there when I need them.  I like doing the same for other quitters.  You want a good quit buddy?  Try me.  PM or Email your number and I'll text back.

WE CAN DO THIS ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Cornholio....stay on that path...it is the correct one. I quit with you today

[Cornholio]

Withdrawals do suck. I do best when I embrace the suck. When I realize it's my addict throwing a childish temper tantrum, I can smile....even chuckle at its lame efforts to stay alive. "Is that the best you got" is my favorite response.

But, I'm not always so strong. The addict bitch keep chewing at the heels. Sometimes I just want to rest. But I can't...it's like a war...the last person standing wins. I might get tired, but I can't lie down. You see, I believe my addict is also getting tired. Now is not the time to lie down, it's the time to remind my addict who is boss!

I take control back when I lose strength. I can take it back by reminding myself why I'm doing this. Reading and posting on KTC helps more than anything. Sometimes my rants (like this one) stem from winning another bitch of a battle, other times I just post when I'm having a hard time finding the energy to stay with it. Either I feel great and can share things that motivated me, or I'm struggling and I ask for help. Give help, ask for help. That's how I see it.

If I can't get to a computer, then I have 3 cell #'s to text. They're always there when I need them. I like doing the same for other quitters. You want a good quit buddy? Try me. PM or Email your number and I'll text back.

WE CAN DO THIS ONE DAY AT A TIME.

[30yraddict]

30's quit resources

A Word to the Retreads

I wanted to wait until all of the drama died down to have a word with you....

So you are back...and posting roll...Doing the things I would expect to see from someone who is serious about their quit...In addition to posting roll, I sure hope you are living, breathing, drinking the kool aid here.

You can believe 2 things about this place: It's nothing more than a tool to help you quit and the people here are just strangers in cyberspace........ or this is a place full of dead serious quitters intent on saving their own life and helping others save theirs.

In the short time I have been here, I have actually met several quitters, talked to some more on the phone, texted still others, and keep in contact with others through facebook, pm, and email. I have moved the KTC experience far beyond some self help website in cyberspace. I have no place to hide...In order to get away from these folks I would have to change my home number, email address, cell number, move (yes some of them know where I live), abandon my facebook account, and ask my kids and wife to abandon theirs.

In other words- this is my last quit- and I am all in. I have built my accountability to the point that there is no going back...no hedged bets, no retreat clause, no surrender.

My question for you is: Have you decided this is your last quit? Then box yourself in...build your accountability to the point there is no escape. Take every opportunity to be held accountable to other quitters. Stay in constant contact with people that will not tolerate addict thinking. In short put all your chips in the center of the table...go all in.


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Is Posting Roll Enough?

So you've got a handle on how the site works, right? Post roll, honor that promise, repeat...is that all it takes? Technically, yes that is all it takes- if you do those three things every day without fail, you will quit for the rest of your life one today at a time- except -it doesn't seem to play out that way for many folks....That program is the foundation, the cornerstone of the program here. It is the bare minimum. That's the problem right there- people who do the bare minimum for their quit tend not to stick with it over the long haul. I can tell these people right away- they are the ones that you almost never see here as they are only here long enough to post roll. Those are the folks that you have to PM and/or use multiple posts to get their attention, because they don't even take the time to scroll down to find out what happened to their quit brothers/sisters throughout the day....hell they don't even look over the roll they are posting in to see what others are going through. I am pretty convinced I could change the header to "December Druids in Favor of Clubbing Baby Seals to Death" and they would come in, hit the quote button post their roll and leave... These people contribute nothing to the site- they are just a name followed by a number. Just as they were on the site they tend to just fade away into oblivion...and when they are gone, nobody really notices...sometimes they come back and post a day 1...usually it doesn't matter though. Because they usually just do the same thing all over again....post roll, leave the site quickly, fade away....

Then there are those that "get it". Those that understand the more they have invested in their quit, the better. Those that post roll every day and then build on it with developing accountability by exchanging numbers, reading the treasure chest of knowledge that is found throughout the site, by stepping up an helping other quitters- those are the people who stay quit.

Is your quit worth more than the bare minimum? If it's not- I predict a cave in your future. Post Roll, Honor Your Promise, Repeat. Exchange Numbers, Read, Take the time to help quitters new and old. Invest in your quit.

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A Word to Those That Know More than the Vets

Imagine that you are standing in front of a minefield...on the other side of that minefield stands a soldier...not only has he walked that minefield safely, but he has guided thousands of others through that minefield safely as well.. He hails you from the other side and offers to guide you across safely...

do you:

a) tell him he is well meaning but really doesn't know shit about minefields

or

b.) shut  up and listen  to what he has to say, treading the path of thousands of others before you.


one way guarantees you safe passage, Why tread a new path?

drink the kool aid...drink long. drink deep.

Don't be a casualty.

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30 the Roll Nazi:

You might be wondering why the emphasis on posting first thing in your day? Remember that your roll post is a promise not to use nicotine for just one day.....also know that your addict mind is always trying to get a fix of nicotine. Your addict mind is an expert on rationalization....For example : "I didn't post roll yet, so I'm really not breaking a promise by having just one....I can just quit tomorrow again..." Shut the door on your addict mind- post up first thing.

The other aspect of posting roll early and every day is that it is an investment in your accountability...if I post whenever I feel like it, nobody is going to pay attention when I am missing, whereas if I post every morning, it is going to raise a warning when folks don't see my post by the afternoon. I want my inbox blown up by dinnertime if I don't post...don't you?

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Want vs Decision

So what happened to those that disappeared to never be heard from again? While we can't be sure of a cave, it is possible that they just didn't want this bad enough. For those of you who are left: How bad do you want to quit? Because your success is predicted with perfect accuracy from the true answer to that question. Most of my 33 years dipping I strongly "wanted" to quit. If quitting's a strong "want" in your life- you will fail. It may not be today, it may not be next week, you may make it to your HOF day and beyond, but eventually you will cave. For those of you in this category- no advice you receive is going to be effective over the long term until you decide to shut the door on nicotine. Until you make the decision that you will pursue a lifestyle of quit. Go look at the cancer pics, do some research on what big tobacco has done over the years to keep you as their Marionette....read about Tom and Jenny Kern. go over to whyquit.com and read some of the stories there. Do whatever it takes to get you to the point of closing the door on nicotine. While we can give advice on how to quit, we cannot close the door for you. That, dear reader, is up to you.

If you are truly sick of this stupid addiction, really sick of being the lackey of big tobacco, sick of worrying about cancer, sick of hiding your addiction from others, and you want this quit more than anything else..and you drink the KTC kool aid - you will succeed- guaranteed. The program is foolproof:

Post Roll
Honor your promise for today
Repeat

One last thing: Quitters find a way to quit. Caver's find a way to cave.

Be a quitter.

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No Reservations Allowed

I was talking to a friend of mine about his AA meeting...he was telling me that there were several types of people there: ..the hard nosed in your face types who know that one drink will never be permissible, then there are the quieter ones, who also know that alcohol is off limits forever... the ones that are there because they are quitting for someone else: for their spouse, or for the judge...and then you will find some that are quit for today..but they are not really sure if they are an alcoholic...That is what is known as having a reservation...they are not really sure that they are quit for good...The first two types are the ones most likely to be successful in building a lifetime of sobriety one day at a time...The rest...well the failure rate is off the charts....

Do YOU have any reservations? Is there a circumstance that would push you over the edge? Is there a crave that would get too strong? Is there a limit to what you would do to protect your quit?

To quote one badass quitter:

No more- not for any reason!

_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
M LooT's first post

Tomorrow never comes

11X4's Epiphany

Loot on brotherhood

MChewie on Cavers

MTwo Wolves

M Tools by WildBill

Nicotine over Legs

Skoal Monster's letter to UST

M What I know- by Skoal Monster

An open letter to non-regular posters

M Rick bender

M How bad do you want to quit?

M Tough Love

quitter vs stopper

Mundeniable truth

M Why not just one

Every day I post roll

M silly rabbits

pickles vs cucumbers

A welcome to the newbs

Nicotine over legs

There is no "just one"

M What's the hardest thing you can do

What are you willing to do to stay quit?

M Who does big tobacco think you are?

What you need to hear

M A quit plan

The caver

I take them out all the time

Mskoal monster's intro

the decision to quit- by chewie

M Tell your damn story

M Gruen shares the cold, hard facts


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[magnum9]

Day 288

Logging the journey...

It is surprising how little it takes to reawaken the psychological addiction. I quit using the fake several weeks ago now, and I picked up some seeds, just in case...I got through the craves of quitting the fake without the seeds, so about a week ago I figured why waste the seeds? Over the course of the week I ate both bags that I bought...wouldn't you know it brought back the craves...finished the seeds a couple of days ago and have been craving ever since....pathetically weak craves, but craves nonetheless. I actually have come to like those little craves- I love laughing at my addict mind...as charlie sheen says "WINNING!"...ok Charlie Sheen prolly isn't the poster child for freedom from addiction, but you get my drift.....

To those of you that are new- I have battled thousands of craves since I quit. The longer I stay quit the more pathetically weak they get. Most days, the nic-bitch doesn't even try...... Stay quit my friends

Keepin it real...

Hey 30,

I know we had a few texts about this before and I hope you remember me saying that the best part of the quit is when you are finally free from every crutch. I wanted to advise against the seeds but you are a bad ass quitter and I knew you could handle yourself in any situation.

The real reason I am posting is to let you know that I sincerely think that your best days yet will be about 3 weeks from when you lay down any oral fixation like gum, seeds, or fake.

Keep it up, 300 is just around the corner.

[Souliman]

Channeling Charlie one day at a time...

[30yraddict]

Day 288

Logging the journey...

It is surprising how little it takes to reawaken the psychological addiction. I quit using the fake several weeks ago now, and I picked up some seeds, just in case...I got through the craves of quitting the fake without the seeds, so about a week ago I figured why waste the seeds? Over the course of the week I ate both bags that I bought...wouldn't you know it brought back the craves...finished the seeds a couple of days ago and have been craving ever since....pathetically weak craves, but craves nonetheless. I actually have come to like those little craves- I love laughing at my addict mind...as charlie sheen says "WINNING!"...ok Charlie Sheen prolly isn't the poster child for freedom from addiction, but you get my drift.....

To those of you that are new- I have battled thousands of craves since I quit. The longer I stay quit the more pathetically weak they get. Most days, the nic-bitch doesn't even try...... Stay quit my friends

Keepin it real...

[30yraddict]

Day 274

On my way to BigBrotherJack's yesterday...First long-ish trip with no dip in my lip...fake or otherwise...on the way there I thought about what I was going to tell my children about my struggle with nicotine....This morning I talked to my son(17) and daughter(14) both knew that I chewed- as I suspected...but both thought I had stopped a long time ago..I am 99% sure that my son has never and will never try tobacco....but I hope that what I told him will stick with him just in case. My daughter- well I am not sure if she has experimented with cigarettes. She was pretty quiet when I told her....I just hope that if she has tried cigarettes, my words will resonate with her and she will turn her back on them...

I pray that my children will never know the hell of nicotine addiction...

and I pray that their generation has the wisdom and compassion to ban its use...

because my generation has failed at that.

[30yraddict]

Day 270

Keepin it real....

I haven't used the fake in 12 days...I can tell you that the craves are definitely way more frequent. As a matter of a fact, when I was using the fake I had virtually no craves...now they are a daily and frequent occurrence...Annoying as hell, but manageable...At this point I am once again doing the unimaginable- living a life with nothing stuck in my lip...feels really strange- like I'm no longer me. After these craves go away, I know I am going to enjoy not having a dip of anything in my lip....as far as no longer being me...I could use a little improvement anyhow...

[30yraddict]

30's quit resources

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Is Posting Roll enough? [in progress]

So you've got a handle on how the site works, right? Post roll, honor that promise, repeat...is that all it takes? Technically, yes that is all it takes- if you do those three things every day without fail, you will quit for the rest of your life one today at a time- except -it doesn't seem to play out that way for many folks....That program is the foundation, the cornerstone of the program here. It is the bare minimum. That's the problem right there- people who do the bare minimum for their quit tend not to stick with it over the long haul. I can tell these people right away- they are the ones that you almost never see here as they are only here long enough to post roll. Those are the folks that you have to PM and/or use multiple posts to get their attention, because they don't even take the time to scroll down to find out what happened to their quit brothers/sisters throughout the day....hell they don't even look over the roll they are posting in to see what others are going through. I am pretty convinced I could change the header to "December Druids in favor of clubbing baby seals to death" and they would come in, hit the quote button post their roll and leave... These people contribute nothing to the site- they are just a name followed by a number. Just as they were on the site they tend to just fade away into oblivion...and when they are gone, nobody really notices...sometimes they come back and post a day 1...usually it doesn't matter though. Because they usually just do the same thing all over again....post roll, leave the site quickly, fade away....

Then there are those that "get it". Those that understand the more they have invested in their quit, the better. Those that post roll every day and then build on it with developing accountability by exchanging numbers, reading the treasure chest of knowledge that is found throughout the site, by stepping up an helping other quitters- those are the people who stay quit.

Is your quit worth more than the bare minimum? If it's not- I predict a cave in your future. Post Roll, Honor Your Promise, Repeat. Exchange Numbers, Read, Take the time to help quitters new and old. Invest in your quit.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

30's word to those that think they know more than the vets......

Imagine that you are standing in front of a minefield...on the other side of that minefield stands a soldier...not only has he walked that minefield safely, but he has guided thousands of others through that minefield safely as well.. He hails you from the other side and offers to guide you across safely...

do you:

a) tell him he is well meaning but really doesn't know shit about minefields

or

b.) shut  up and listen  to what he has to say, treading the path of thousands of others before you.


one way guarantees you safe passage, Why tread a new path?

drink the kool aid...drink long. drink deep.

Don't be a casualty.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

330 the Roll Nazi:

You might be wondering why the emphasis on posting first thing in your day? Remember that your roll post is a promise not to use nicotine for just one day.....also know that your addict mind is always trying to get a fix of nicotine. Your addict mind is an expert on rationalization....For example : "I didn't post roll yet, so I'm really not breaking a promise by having just one....I can just quit tomorrow again..." Shut the door on your addict mind- post up first thing.

The other aspect of posting roll early and every day is that it is an investment in your accountability...if I post whenever you feel like it, nobody is going to pay attention when I am missing, whereas if I post every morning, it is going to raise a warning when folks don't see my post by the afternoon. I want my inbox blown up by dinnertime if I don't post...don't you?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So what happened to Olivahpowah you might ask? While we can't be sure that he caved, it is possible that he just didn't want this bad enough. For those of you who are left: How bad do you want to quit? Because your success is predicted with perfect accuracy from the true answer to that question. If it's a strong "want" in your life- you will fail. It may not be today, it may not be next week, you may make it to your HOF day and beyond, but eventually you will cave. For those of you in this category- no advice you receive is going to be effective over the long term until you decide to shut the door on nicotine. Go look at the cancer pics, do some research on what big tobacco has done over the years to keep you as their Marionette....read about Tom and Jenny Kern. go over to whyquit.com and read some of the stories there. Do whatever it takes to get you to the point of closing the door on nicotine. While we can give advice on how to quit, we cannot close the door for you. That, dear reader, is up to you.

If you are truly sick of this stupid addiction, really sick of being the lackey of big tobacco, sick of worrying about cancer, sick of hiding your addiction from others, and you want this quit more than anything else..and you drink the KTC kool aid - you will succeed- guaranteed. The program is foolproof:

Post Roll
Honor your promise for today
Repeat

One last thing: Quitters find a way to quit. Caver's find a way to cave.

Be a quitter.

_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
M Mule21's first post

Tomorrow never comes

11X4's Epiphany

Loot on brotherhood

MChewie on Cavers

MTwo Wolves

Tools by WildBill

Nicotine over Legs

Skoal Monster's letter to UST

M What I know- by Skoal Monster

An open letter to non-regular posters

Rick bender

How bad do you want to quit?

Tough Love

quitter vs stopper

Mundeniable truth

Why not just one

Every day I post roll

silly rabbits

pickles vs cucumbers

A welcome to the newbs

Nicotine over legs

There is no "just one"

What's the hardest thing you can do

What are you willing to do to stay quit?

Who does big tobacco think you are?

What you need to hear

M A quit plan

The caver

I take them out all the time

Mskoal monster's intro

the decision to quit- by chewie

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[30yraddict]

Am I going to see you in PA next weekend?

I am pretty sure you will...probably be there Saturday 11am and stay for a few hours.

[AgLawyer]

I didn't know Hootie well but did look at his photo album and spoke with him briefly once about that. He did seen like an active member here so it was quite shocking to hear of his cave. I, too, hope to learn something from this as his quit group is also trying to make sense of it. Almost 300 days and tossing it all aside and knowing that as soon as he put that first dip in he felt like shit. But it was too late. He was hooked again. Just a very clear reminder of how vulnerable we really are to this addiction if we get complacent for only a moment. Scary.