Withdrawal sux

[srans]

Those of you that know me know that I lost my brother in 2011 of throat cancer. The story is in this introÃ,… I think somewhere in here is the fact that I lost my mother to emphysema at 56. So tobacco has directly claimed 2 in my family to date. AnywayÃ,….

A couple of years ago my other brother goes to the doctor for a checkupÃ,… they find his prostate cancer markers highÃ,… They do some tests and give him a clean bill of health.

He went back to the doctors about 6 months ago because he was having pain in his hip. HeÃ,’s 51 at this point, so hip pain isnÃ,’t so normalÃ,… they run some tests and he is stage 4 prostate cancerÃ,… metastasized to the bone, hence the hip pain , no cure, chemo and hormone therapy will prolong his life, but eventually this terrible disease will ravage his body, just like it did with my oldest brotherÃ,… different type of cancer, same result.

Now prostate cancer may not be the first cancer to come to mind when you think of cancers caused by tobacco, but prostate cancers found in smokers tend to me much more aggressiveÃ,… so at the very least, smoking is a contributing factor to the number of days that my brother has to be with his wife. The number of days to hug his children. He has 3: a 21 year old son and two daughters, 16 and 15.

Tonight I went to a family gathering to see my brotherÃ,… His hair is thin courtesy of the latest round of chemoÃ,… teeth are starting to turn black, also courtesy of chemo. His complexion is pale. His hands shake when he tries to do the simplest of tasks. As much as he puts on his game face, you can tell that the chemo and cancer are knocking the shit out of him. He confessed to me that depression descends on him like a dark cloud as he thinks about the days that are inevitably going to come. When he thinks about the suffering, When he thinks about the hardship his family is going to go through. When he thinks about leaving the 4 people in this world that he loves most of all. His wife, his rockÃ,… well she looks tired. She is already grieving inside. I can see it in her eyes. In her tone. They both put on their game face, but it is easy to see what lies beneath.

Know that what has happened to my brother can happen to any one of usÃ,… and each day that we choose to continue to use tobacco increases the chances that it will happen to us. Put yourself in my brotherÃ,’s shoesÃ,… think about what it would be like to come back to the doctors and tell your wife. To know that you are dying and wait until your children are off from school to tell them. To watch them as you tell them that you are dying. To watch them as their eyes well up with tears. To know that you could have made a single decision that would have protected them from all of this painÃ,….

The decision to quit, and to stay that way. Never Again - For Any Reason.

I'm posting roll first thing tomorrow. Prayers 30.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Those of you that know me know that I lost my brother in 2011 of throat cancer. The story is in this introÃ,… I think somewhere in here is the fact that I lost my mother to emphysema at 56. So tobacco has directly claimed 2 in my family to date. AnywayÃ,….

A couple of years ago my other brother goes to the doctor for a checkupÃ,… they find his prostate cancer markers highÃ,… They do some tests and give him a clean bill of health.

He went back to the doctors about 6 months ago because he was having pain in his hip. HeÃ,’s 51 at this point, so hip pain isnÃ,’t so normalÃ,… they run some tests and he is stage 4 prostate cancerÃ,… metastasized to the bone, hence the hip pain , no cure, chemo and hormone therapy will prolong his life, but eventually this terrible disease will ravage his body, just like it did with my oldest brotherÃ,… different type of cancer, same result.

Now prostate cancer may not be the first cancer to come to mind when you think of cancers caused by tobacco, but prostate cancers found in smokers tend to me much more aggressiveÃ,… so at the very least, smoking is a contributing factor to the number of days that my brother has to be with his wife. The number of days to hug his children. He has 3: a 21 year old son and two daughters, 16 and 15.

Tonight I went to a family gathering to see my brotherÃ,… His hair is thin courtesy of the latest round of chemoÃ,… teeth are starting to turn black, also courtesy of chemo. His complexion is pale. His hands shake when he tries to do the simplest of tasks. As much as he puts on his game face, you can tell that the chemo and cancer are knocking the shit out of him. He confessed to me that depression descends on him like a dark cloud as he thinks about the days that are inevitably going to come. When he thinks about the suffering, When he thinks about the hardship his family is going to go through. When he thinks about leaving the 4 people in this world that he loves most of all. His wife, his rockÃ,… well she looks tired. She is already grieving inside. I can see it in her eyes. In her tone. They both put on their game face, but it is easy to see what lies beneath.

Know that what has happened to my brother can happen to any one of usÃ,… and each day that we choose to continue to use tobacco increases the chances that it will happen to us. Put yourself in my brotherÃ,’s shoesÃ,… think about what it would be like to come back to the doctors and tell your wife. To know that you are dying and wait until your children are off from school to tell them. To watch them as you tell them that you are dying. To watch them as their eyes well up with tears. To know that you could have made a single decision that would have protected them from all of this painÃ,….

The decision to quit, and to stay that way. Never Again - For Any Reason.

Thanks for sharing. My heartfelt sympathies for your family and you. These stories, though extremely painful to go through and share, help a lot of us quitters by keeping us motivated.

Thank you and I am truly sorry.

[30yraddict]

Those of you that know me know that I lost my brother in 2011 of throat cancer. The story is in this introÃ,… I think somewhere in here is the fact that I lost my mother to emphysema at 56. So tobacco has directly claimed 2 in my family to date. AnywayÃ,….

A couple of years ago my other brother goes to the doctor for a checkupÃ,… they find his prostate cancer markers highÃ,… They do some tests and give him a clean bill of health.

He went back to the doctors about 6 months ago because he was having pain in his hip. HeÃ,’s 51 at this point, so hip pain isnÃ,’t so normalÃ,… they run some tests and he is stage 4 prostate cancerÃ,… metastasized to the bone, hence the hip pain , no cure, chemo and hormone therapy will prolong his life, but eventually this terrible disease will ravage his body, just like it did with my oldest brotherÃ,… different type of cancer, same result.

Now prostate cancer may not be the first cancer to come to mind when you think of cancers caused by tobacco, but prostate cancers found in smokers tend to me much more aggressiveÃ,… so at the very least, smoking is a contributing factor to the number of days that my brother has to be with his wife. The number of days to hug his children. He has 3: a 21 year old son and two daughters, 16 and 15.

Tonight I went to a family gathering to see my brotherÃ,… His hair is thin courtesy of the latest round of chemoÃ,… teeth are starting to turn black, also courtesy of chemo. His complexion is pale. His hands shake when he tries to do the simplest of tasks. As much as he puts on his game face, you can tell that the chemo and cancer are knocking the shit out of him. He confessed to me that depression descends on him like a dark cloud as he thinks about the days that are inevitably going to come. When he thinks about the suffering, When he thinks about the hardship his family is going to go through. When he thinks about leaving the 4 people in this world that he loves most of all. His wife, his rockÃ,… well she looks tired. She is already grieving inside. I can see it in her eyes. In her tone. They both put on their game face, but it is easy to see what lies beneath.

Know that what has happened to my brother can happen to any one of usÃ,… and each day that we choose to continue to use tobacco increases the chances that it will happen to us. Put yourself in my brotherÃ,’s shoesÃ,… think about what it would be like to come back to the doctors and tell your wife. To know that you are dying and wait until your children are off from school to tell them. To watch them as you tell them that you are dying. To watch them as their eyes well up with tears. To know that you could have made a single decision that would have protected them from all of this painÃ,….

The decision to quit, and to stay that way. Never Again - For Any Reason.

[30yraddict]

Day 1246

I have battled the nic bitch for 1246 days. The beginning of the battle was a frontal attack.. no way to forget I was an addict... no way not to acknowledge just one dip would lead to another, and another, and another. I hit about day 30, and REALLY started to enjoy my newly found freedom. You know what? It scared the shit out of me. I had failed too many times before, and I knew that the minute I became complacent the nic-bitch was going to start whispering in my ear.

1246 days- I still have occasional cravings. When they hit the first thing I think about is my promise that I made. The people that I would let down. 1246 days I have posted roll. It means as much to me today as it did on day 1. It has to. To let it fade is to be careless with the freedom that I have. 33 years a slave. 3+ years free. I REFUSE to be a slave again.

1246 days of posting roll. A promise. A celebration, A chance to say Thank You KTC, Thank you to the hundreds of people here that helped get me this far.

I wouldnÃ,’t miss it for the world.

[cbird65]

:WastedPanel:

I quit with this quitter ^^^^^ EDD, ODAAT and NAFAR, period

30's back....fuck yeah. Still one of my favorite MODS all-time.

'BanDog'

roll model extraordinaire!

[Coach Steve]

:WastedPanel:

I quit with this quitter ^^^^^ EDD, ODAAT and NAFAR, period

30's back....fuck yeah. Still one of my favorite MODS all-time.

'BanDog'

[30isEnuff]

:WastedPanel:

I quit with this quitter ^^^^^ EDD, ODAAT and NAFAR, period

[wastepanel]

:WastedPanel:

[Mike from AB]

Prayers sent up for sure!

[ranger520]

ile keep you in my prayers 30 year.......

[30yraddict]

Thanks Roam and Copen.

It's been quite a week. I received news that my Cousin was in the hospital with pneumonia, on a respirator and unable to be weaned off. The longer he stayed on the respirator, the more likely that his lungs would "forget" how to breathe. My cousin is 58, a lifelong smoker. He has blood clots in his legs and has heart damage. He is now off the respirator and is recovering from pneumonia. The heart damage will not heal, however. It was a really close call for him.

A couple of days later, I received news that my brother has prostate cancer. It has spread, so there is no cure. They believe he will live a few more years with treatments, but it is a death sentence, albeit a slow (and painful) one. My brother is 50, also a lifelong smoker. Smoking not only adds to the risk of contracting prostate cancer, but also makes the cancer more aggressive.

Regardless of the delivery method, nicotine addiction has many ways to kill you.

Stay quit, my friends. Your life depends on it.

[Roamcountry]

I apologize in advance for being self indulgent. and feeling sorry for myself.

But DAMMIT!!!

I am sick of the endless tragedy that has ravaged my family for the last couple of years! 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head'

no f*cking way am I even thinking about caving...

but I have had ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very sorry for your losses and the tragedies that have befallen your family. Deepest prayers of peace lifted for your family.

[copingwithoutcopen]

I apologize in advance for being self indulgent. and feeling sorry for myself.

But DAMMIT!!!

I am sick of the endless tragedy that has ravaged my family for the last couple of years! 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head'

no f*cking way am I even thinking about caving...

but I have had ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The value of suffering.

[30yraddict]

I apologize in advance for being self indulgent. and feeling sorry for myself.

But DAMMIT!!!

I am sick of the endless tragedy that has ravaged my family for the last couple of years! 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head'

no f*cking way am I even thinking about caving...

but I have had ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Coach Steve]

ahem...

you folks that come back under a new name know that the magic of this site is accountability, right???

without it you might just as well try to paint the wind. Man (or woman) up ferfucksake! Come clean, take your lumps, and be a man (woman) of your word!

(*30 goes back under the porch, muttering to himself*)

I'm curious as to whom you are referring? PM it to me if you don't want to air it in public?