Thank you all, especially WastePanel, he helped me re-find my intro, so this morning I am reading all of your replies (again thank you). Quick update and tactical report.
1. I will post roll each morning. This is the most important thing to me. I am trying to find time to read and respond on the site (God knows how much your comments mean), but the bottom line is I post. It reminds me what is going on. For me, I just randomly think "Time for a dip", especially when I get to the office. NOW when I get to the office, I post.
2. I don't remember if I said it in my intro, but I quit successfullyish in October. Made it till the yearly Fishing trip, was drunk and bummed a pinch. Stayed off until about a month ago and started the daily bumming from an assortment of coworkers. Final straw was when I bought a can. This being said, I know I am weak, but I also know I should have the benefit of not being a full time user.
3. I started riding bikes this year again. I ride to keep quit, loose some belly and be outdoors with friends and family. (If you a KC person and interested, we have been blasting Indian, Mill and Tomahawk Creek Trails)
What I am writing above is for you if you are reading, but mostly for me just venting and declaring. I am keeping in my mind that, "There is nothing bad from quitting and nothing good from caving"
Much love and respect.
Kev