Derk40

[Derk40]

Meeting over.  Lucky I am just a paper pusher these days and no ones life is in danger, ship aint getting ready to run aground, etc... since I was not paying attention to anything anyone was telling me.  I am literally shaking and ready to start throwing haymakers... JRIZZ, KKLJINC and SIRDerek... thanks for the guidance and comment.  So basically what ur telling me is that I am at the point right now where it is either put up or shut up.  It is time to find out what I am I made of!  Either all in or get out.  Lay down like a bitch or f-in fight for this quit. 

Here is where I am.  I am major addict and I got to get out from the grips of this evil m-f-er.  Part of me wants to think - whoa is me... how did I get to this point?  That is weakness speaking cuz it don't matter - I am in the fight now.  Who gives a crap how I got here.  This is not a pause or a temp shut down for ME.  I have done that for too many years and it was not this hard cuz I was just putting my toe in the pool.  I am all in here.  I got to fight this nic B today like I have never fought for anything before.  My life is on the F-in line.  I am not going down here!  I am gonna fight the fight!  This is mine for the taking and I will have my life back!  I am quit!  I will stay quit!  Not laying down!

Now you are getting it you keep swinging for the fences one minute, one hour, one day at a time. You are getting through the suck its the physical addiction that you are fighting right now. YOu can do this you are not alone we are all here. Keep fight Derk for you are in the fight of your life...it is for your life. Your days of playing a slow game of Russion roulette are over.

What helped me early in my quit other than this site and everything it brings, is playing in my heard over and over in my head NEVER AGAIN FOR ANY REASON!!!!
Remember what it you feel like the 2x4 cracking through your skull embrace it...keep quit and no more 2x4s crashing through your skull...no more sweats...then after that comes the head games...

You dont have to work through the head games alone...start filling your tool bag to help you combat the Nic WHore well at least hold her off til we get there to help you.

By now you should have numbers in your phone and you should be reaching for that way before you reach for that contract. I am not bull shitting you that contract is not to be used first. your tools first then that.

PM me if you need anything.

Trauma, thanks for the advice. Need a few numbers for reach out, so I will work on that. Did not have a lifeline this am so went straight to guns.. That contract. It worked because everything on there is totally fucked. Who the hell would sign that fuckin contract? I ain't gonna sign it. She was working on me this morning and thought she had me going her way... but i hate her. Cant stand her. I hate dip and what it has done for me which is not a damn thing. I am working day by day here to build back my rep. It is gonna be a roller coaster for a while, but I'm ready to hold the ground I've taken. Retreat is not an option...as Patton said..."don't like paying for the same real estate twice." This is gonna be the last first 5 days for Derk. I quit with y'all today! Feels pretty damn good.

[traumagnet]

Meeting over. Lucky I am just a paper pusher these days and no ones life is in danger, ship aint getting ready to run aground, etc... since I was not paying attention to anything anyone was telling me. I am literally shaking and ready to start throwing haymakers... JRIZZ, KKLJINC and SIRDerek... thanks for the guidance and comment. So basically what ur telling me is that I am at the point right now where it is either put up or shut up. It is time to find out what I am I made of! Either all in or get out. Lay down like a bitch or f-in fight for this quit.

Here is where I am. I am major addict and I got to get out from the grips of this evil m-f-er. Part of me wants to think - whoa is me... how did I get to this point? That is weakness speaking cuz it don't matter - I am in the fight now. Who gives a crap how I got here. This is not a pause or a temp shut down for ME. I have done that for too many years and it was not this hard cuz I was just putting my toe in the pool. I am all in here. I got to fight this nic B today like I have never fought for anything before. My life is on the F-in line. I am not going down here! I am gonna fight the fight! This is mine for the taking and I will have my life back! I am quit! I will stay quit! Not laying down!

Now you are getting it you keep swinging for the fences one minute, one hour, one day at a time. You are getting through the suck its the physical addiction that you are fighting right now. YOu can do this you are not alone we are all here. Keep fight Derk for you are in the fight of your life...it is for your life. Your days of playing a slow game of Russion roulette are over.

What helped me early in my quit other than this site and everything it brings, is playing in my heard over and over in my head NEVER AGAIN FOR ANY REASON!!!!
Remember what it you feel like the 2x4 cracking through your skull embrace it...keep quit and no more 2x4s crashing through your skull...no more sweats...then after that comes the head games...

You dont have to work through the head games alone...start filling your tool bag to help you combat the Nic WHore well at least hold her off til we get there to help you.

By now you should have numbers in your phone and you should be reaching for that way before you reach for that contract. I am not bull shitting you that contract is not to be used first. your tools first then that.

PM me if you need anything.

[Derk40]

Meeting over. Lucky I am just a paper pusher these days and no ones life is in danger, ship aint getting ready to run aground, etc... since I was not paying attention to anything anyone was telling me. I am literally shaking and ready to start throwing haymakers... JRIZZ, KKLJINC and SIRDerek... thanks for the guidance and comment. So basically what ur telling me is that I am at the point right now where it is either put up or shut up. It is time to find out what I am I made of! Either all in or get out. Lay down like a bitch or f-in fight for this quit.

Here is where I am. I am major addict and I got to get out from the grips of this evil m-f-er. Part of me wants to think - whoa is me... how did I get to this point? That is weakness speaking cuz it don't matter - I am in the fight now. Who gives a crap how I got here. This is not a pause or a temp shut down for ME. I have done that for too many years and it was not this hard cuz I was just putting my toe in the pool. I am all in here. I got to fight this nic B today like I have never fought for anything before. My life is on the F-in line. I am not going down here! I am gonna fight the fight! This is mine for the taking and I will have my life back! I am quit! I will stay quit! Not laying down!

[kkljinc]

Feel like I got hit in face with 2X4 this am.  Posted roll, but cravings are hitting me heavy and hard.  Actually pulled out my contract out of my wallet this morning.  WTF.  Yesterday went to bed feeling good.  Today I have doubts and need to resort to my wallet to refocus?  Is this impossible?  Do I love dipping more than I love myself?  Do I love dipping more than I love my family?  F no... so why do I keep trying to think of ways to throw in the towel and do just one to keep me even keeled. Fuck!!!!!!!!!!! Holding strong here, but it aint ez.  Need to go sit in a F-in meeting.  Should be fun.  No dip allowed zone, so I am good.  I am quit dammit!

There's two important things here:

1) You've recognized that you're an addict
2) You're using logic and facts to fight your cravings

I like seeing both of those. You are an addict. So am I. So is anyone else using this site. We are all addicts. And you're fighting the emotions of craving by making it a matter of priority, a matter of choice by asking "Do I love dipping more than I love myself or my family?". We all hit tough patches in our quit. When going through those patches, it's important to remember why we initially quit and to choose to remain faithful to our quit even when it's inconvenient or we don't want to.

You got this. Stay committed to your quit. Choose to quit. I choose to quit with you.

Derk, right now is when you find out your abilities. Your life is on the line are you going to fight for it, or are you going to lay down like a bitch?

Fight, I promise you it's worth it. I promise, that 100 day mark feels fanfuckingtastic! do it!!

[JRizzle]

Feel like I got hit in face with 2X4 this am. Posted roll, but cravings are hitting me heavy and hard. Actually pulled out my contract out of my wallet this morning. WTF. Yesterday went to bed feeling good. Today I have doubts and need to resort to my wallet to refocus? Is this impossible? Do I love dipping more than I love myself? Do I love dipping more than I love my family? F no... so why do I keep trying to think of ways to throw in the towel and do just one to keep me even keeled. Fuck!!!!!!!!!!! Holding strong here, but it aint ez. Need to go sit in a F-in meeting. Should be fun. No dip allowed zone, so I am good. I am quit dammit!

There's two important things here:

1) You've recognized that you're an addict
2) You're using logic and facts to fight your cravings

I like seeing both of those. You are an addict. So am I. So is anyone else using this site. We are all addicts. And you're fighting the emotions of craving by making it a matter of priority, a matter of choice by asking "Do I love dipping more than I love myself or my family?". We all hit tough patches in our quit. When going through those patches, it's important to remember why we initially quit and to choose to remain faithful to our quit even when it's inconvenient or we don't want to.

You got this. Stay committed to your quit. Choose to quit. I choose to quit with you.

[SirDerek]

Feel like I got hit in face with 2X4 this am. Posted roll, but cravings are hitting me heavy and hard. Actually pulled out my contract out of my wallet this morning. WTF. Yesterday went to bed feeling good. Today I have doubts and need to resort to my wallet to refocus? Is this impossible? Do I love dipping more than I love myself? Do I love dipping more than I love my family? F no... so why do I keep trying to think of ways to throw in the towel and do just one to keep me even keeled. Fuck!!!!!!!!!!! Holding strong here, but it aint ez. Need to go sit in a F-in meeting. Should be fun. No dip allowed zone, so I am good. I am quit dammit!

fight on man, you can do this, get yourself busy (work, exercise, hobby) to get your mind off it.

make the promise today and then the option is off the table. And enjoy the rollercoaster ride (ok maybe not enjoy but remember this so you never want to do it again)

[Derk40]

Feel like I got hit in face with 2X4 this am. Posted roll, but cravings are hitting me heavy and hard. Actually pulled out my contract out of my wallet this morning. Yesterday went to bed feeling good. Today I have doubts and need to resort to my wallet to refocus? Is this impossible? Do I love dipping more than I love myself? Do I love dipping more than I love my family? F no... so why do I keep trying to think of ways to throw in the towel and do just one to keep me even keeled. Holding strong here, but it aint ez. Need to go sit in a meeting. Should be fun. No dip allowed zone, so I am good. I am quit!

[30isEnuff]

Thanks everybody.  Last night I think it hit me... as I sat there bitching on the site, shaking, frustrated, wanting a dip... with sore throat... I realized that I am a drug addict.  I have been embarrassed to say that, but I am.  I am an addict.  You all were telling me to relax... I was not - I want this done.  I want it kicked now.  I want to be free of this nic B now.  In my fog last night read a post that hit me square in the junk... "Don't worry about tomoorow.  Tomorrow isn't here yet.  All you have to do now is whatever the fuck you have to to stay clean today.  Then wake up and post roll again."  I need to put in the work.  This ain't gonna be handed to me.  Gotta earn!  This morning I am relaxed... focused and more committed.  I will focus on today's quit!  1 day at a time.  I am proud of having logged 3 days quit.  Feels good.  I will be quit today!

The day I admitted I was a drug addict was the day I controlled nicotine instead of nicotine controlling me. It did not make quitting easy, but it did mean I now called the shots.

What Mr. Scowick said X 100 'bang head'

[Scowick65]

Thanks everybody.  Last night I think it hit me... as I sat there bitching on the site, shaking, frustrated, wanting a dip... with sore throat... I realized that I am a drug addict.  I have been embarrassed to say that, but I am.  I am an addict.  You all were telling me to relax... I was not - I want this done.  I want it kicked now.  I want to be free of this nic B now.  In my fog last night read a post that hit me square in the junk... "Don't worry about tomoorow.  Tomorrow isn't here yet.  All you have to do now is whatever the fuck you have to to stay clean today.  Then wake up and post roll again."  I need to put in the work.  This ain't gonna be handed to me.  Gotta earn!  This morning I am relaxed... focused and more committed.  I will focus on today's quit!  1 day at a time.  I am proud of having logged 3 days quit.  Feels good.  I will be quit today!

The day I admitted I was a drug addict was the day I controlled nicotine instead of nicotine controlling me. It did not make quitting easy, but it did mean I now call the shots.

[Derk40]

Thanks everybody.  Last night I think it hit me... as I sat there bitching on the site, shaking, frustrated, wanting a dip... with sore throat... I realized that I am a drug addict.  I have been embarrassed to say that, but I am.  I am an addict.  You all were telling me to relax... I was not - I want this done.  I want it kicked now.  I want to be free of this nic B now.  In my fog last night read a post that hit me square in the junk... "Don't worry about tomoorow.  Tomorrow isn't here yet.  All you have to do now is whatever the fuck you have to to stay clean today.  Then wake up and post roll again."  I need to put in the work.  This ain't gonna be handed to me.  Gotta earn!  This morning I am relaxed... focused and more committed.  I will focus on today's quit!  1 day at a time.  I am proud of having logged 3 days quit.  Feels good.  I will be quit today!

That's 3 days of freedom brother. 3 days you haven't went down to the corner store, spent your hard earned money on something that does absolutely nothing for you except take. It takes your money, freedom, health and integrity while slowly killing you.

FREEDOM BROTHER!! Taste it, feel it, smell it. Read my signature line right now man. Join me in the hate brother. I hated it all day yesterday. I hated it so much I woke up today hating it. Stay the course my friend. I quit with you.

I gotta embrace that HATE. That bitch wants me dead! It is on, bros.

[srans]

Thanks everybody.  Last night I think it hit me... as I sat there bitching on the site, shaking, frustrated, wanting a dip... with sore throat... I realized that I am a drug addict.  I have been embarrassed to say that, but I am.  I am an addict.  You all were telling me to relax... I was not - I want this done.  I want it kicked now.  I want to be free of this nic B now.  In my fog last night read a post that hit me square in the junk... "Don't worry about tomoorow.  Tomorrow isn't here yet.  All you have to do now is whatever the fuck you have to to stay clean today.  Then wake up and post roll again."  I need to put in the work.  This ain't gonna be handed to me.  Gotta earn!  This morning I am relaxed... focused and more committed.  I will focus on today's quit!  1 day at a time.  I am proud of having logged 3 days quit.  Feels good.  I will be quit today!

That's 3 days of freedom brother. 3 days you haven't went down to the corner store, spent your hard earned money on something that does absolutely nothing for you except take. It takes your money, freedom, health and integrity while slowly killing you.

FREEDOM BROTHER!! Taste it, feel it, smell it. Read my signature line right now man. Join me in the hate brother. I hated it all day yesterday. I hated it so much I woke up today hating it. Stay the course my friend. I quit with you.

[kkljinc]

One day at a time. Do it, you can do this. it's SACK UP TIME!!!

[Derk40]

Thanks everybody. Last night I think it hit me... as I sat there bitching on the site, shaking, frustrated, wanting a dip... with sore throat... I realized that I am a drug addict. I have been embarrassed to say that, but I am. I am an addict. You all were telling me to relax... I was not - I want this done. I want it kicked now. I want to be free of this nic B now. In my fog last night read a post that hit me square in the junk... "Don't worry about tomoorow. Tomorrow isn't here yet. All you have to do now is whatever the fuck you have to to stay clean today. Then wake up and post roll again." I need to put in the work. This ain't gonna be handed to me. Gotta earn! This morning I am relaxed... focused and more committed. I will focus on today's quit! 1 day at a time. I am proud of having logged 3 days quit. Feels good. I will be quit today!

[Scowick65]

Day 3 blows ... Throat hurting and can't get out of my head.  Been wanting a dip bad or just can't stop thinking about it.  Don't friggin know.    feel like that fucking cartoon with a devil on one shoulder in my ear telling me... you can do this alone, you dont need group, 1 dip is fine and an angel in the other ear telling me to hold strong and power the F thru u mother fucker.  I am assuming this is the cravings and nic talking and everyone goes thru this.   Trying to relax, embrace the suck... But it's suckin.  Ain't gonna dip either.   'bang head'

You are stronger than the weed my friend. Remember, craves typically only last 3-5 minutes. You can wait out a crave! I quit with you today.

Dipweez is right, you are stronger than a cancerous plant. Keep going man. Read everything this site has to offer. Just remember you are an addict, your brain is trying to trick you. You don't need dip to function, it was all lies. Just your addicted brain. Post early tomorrow. Keep your word. ODAAT.

Great advice from the quit Sherpas!

[Adigg]

Day 3 blows ... Throat hurting and can't get out of my head.  Been wanting a dip bad or just can't stop thinking about it.  Don't friggin know.    feel like that fucking cartoon with a devil on one shoulder in my ear telling me... you can do this alone, you dont need group, 1 dip is fine and an angel in the other ear telling me to hold strong and power the F thru u mother fucker.  I am assuming this is the cravings and nic talking and everyone goes thru this.  Trying to relax, embrace the suck... But it's suckin.  Ain't gonna dip either.  'bang head'

You are stronger than the weed my friend. Remember, craves typically only last 3-5 minutes. You can wait out a crave! I quit with you today.

Dipweez is right, you are stronger than a cancerous plant. Keep going man. Read everything this site has to offer. Just remember you are an addict, your brain is trying to trick you. You don't need dip to function, it was all lies. Just your addicted brain. Post early tomorrow. Keep your word. ODAAT.