Andrews Intro (Not as good as the one God took from me)
Days QUIT = 100
I have been a chewer since 2000. I had my first chew while on a bicycle ride out in the country, during the summer between my 8th grade and freshman year. It was Copenhagen Black, and I was so sick after chewing it that I thought I was going to die. I knew it was bad, it was tobacco, and tobacco made my grandmother a shriveled, weak, and unhealthy woman many years to early. But I "tried" it. And that was that.
I started by having older kids buy my cans for me. And at some point I started smoking as well. I donÂ’t remember my first cigarette, but I combo used until I was a freshman in college. The entire time I was living with my parents I was a ninja chew/smoker. My dad busted me once and had me use the patch my junior year in high school. The minute my patches ran out at the end of the month I was buying a can to feed my addiction.
The real heavy use started in college. I was open with my use back then and had a can a day problem. I never even thought about slowing down tell I graduated. And then I graduated, and I never slowed down.
After I graduated college, I moved home and somehow met my wife. She is incredibly out of my league. She is smarter, harder working, and better looking. I have no freaking idea what she saw in me (starting to question the smarter part of that last sentence). After 6 months we were engaged. I stopped the first time, and longest stoppage, in the fall of 2009. I caved in early June 2010, at my bachelor party; a nasty ass cigar got me. FUCK....
Want to know exactly the wrong way to start a marriage, Lying to your new wife about chewing while hiding it behind her back. She had an idea that I was hiding something; I was being even grouchier than normal and was sneaking around. Also, I was holding resent towards her, because my addict brain was telling me "That bitch wont let you kill yourself, how dare she?". It was a powder keg, and when she found my can stashed in my car. BOOM. But guess what, there was more BOOMS to come. Over the next 4 years I "tried" to quit, but each time I caved and hid it, and lied. Each time, I got caught, and ripped my wifeÂ’s trust in me to nada. The final time, after she took the kids for a few days too her folks, she came back and told me... "Kill yourself, with that plant. But don't you ever fucking lie to me again.". All, my dumbass addict brain could think at the time was ALL RIGHT!!! I get my wife and my chew. Yippee!!!
Everything seemed to be going fine for about a year. She seriously put up a front that she didnÂ’t care I was killing myself and I wasnÂ’t lying anymore about chewing. My mouth was turning into hamburger though, and my dentist said that some of the spots made her nervous. WHAT??? What does nervous mean? Well dumb ass that means she thinks you could seriously develop cancer in those areas soon. That appointment was in May and I quit June 1. I am still working on my lying and slipped up early in my quit and lied about drinking alcohol one day. BOOM!!! But since then the waters have been pretty smooth. I try hard to dump my crazy ass thoughts, on you poor assholes as much as I can, to save the people I love, no offense. All of my prior transgressions are in the past; I can only make promises for today.
As of June 1rst. 2015, I am quit for good, now.
P.S. It took me this long to do an intro, don't hold your breathe on a HOF speech.
