This is the wife of OP ( wantmylifeback) here. I appreciate all the motivation provided by you all. Thank you for that.
He said the same thing about quitting 10 months back except that there was no forum he joined at that time. He told me he was clean for 100 days and he started it only recently. I don't know how true that is. But why would a quitter start again after 100 days? If relapse like that is possible, what difference will it make now? How do I trust that he will quit and not go back like last time? How long should one go ( in days ) to be completely out of it?
Sorry if I am sounding skeptical. I have been hurt way too many times to believe anything my husband says about quitting.
Appreciate your inputs.
This is going to suck for both of you. Withdrawals are a bitch. sorry about the language but it is what it is.
Be sure to check out: http://www.killthecan.org/community/spousal-support/
This will help you understand what he is going through. Be supportive. Encourage him to Post Roll Daily
these are the rules here:
1). Post roll Daily
2). Be a man of your word
3). Be active here
I am clean for 222 days after dipping for 23 years. I applaud you for being on here but you need to be supportive. There are things he can use that will help. alternatives (Fake dip, Smokey Mountain, seeds, atomic fireballs, etc). He needs a ton of water, love, and support. The water will help flush the toxins. Motrin will help the headaches. Exercise will help it all.
EDIT: We are never out of the woods. We are addicts and always will be. It sucks now but it will be easier but it takes time.
I will also add that I previously "stopped" for 3 years only to start again for some stupid reason. That was before I found this amazing place.
Lot of tough questions here.
Why would a quitter start again after 100 days? That's not a quitter but someone who stopped. Nicotine is an extremely addictive drug- think crack- it's on par with that. Your husband is addicted to a drug called nicotine. Being 100 days quit doesn't mean he is free of this addiction. Most of us on here have stopped abusing nicotine at some point in our life because we all are aware of the danger it can cause.
If relapse is possible, what difference will it make now? We are dealing with an addictive drug so relapse is possible. This site has helped numerous people stay QUIT. As for as 'now' - what better time than now? This is a nasty addiction and most of us have promised to quit before and either didn't or just stopped for awhile. This site with the posting of roll for accountability is my new daily routine- MAKE THAT PROMISE early and everyday and then be a man of my word for 24 hours. Those promises before this site were 'forever' promises- this is just a daily promise but it you make it daily- well the numbers add up.
How do I trust that he will quit and not go back like last time? Read the spousal support page Raider (above) provided. Most of us at some point has made a 'quit' promise to someone only to break that promise but once I started making that promise to myself and to complete strangers on a web site something clicked.
How long should one go (in days) to be completely out of it? One of the science dudes on here should answer this but to put it simply- we've abused our bodies with this drug, we paved highways in our bodies that nicotine flowed through- they will always be there. The further we go without the drug the more barren those nicotine highways become but they will always be there.
The only thing I can say is to be supportive, be positive. Stopping for 5 days, 20 days or 100 days isn't the ultimate goal but it's still better than not stopping at all- that's taking the positive. QUITTING IS THE ULTIMATE GOAL and maybe after numerous failed attempts it will finally resonate with your husband.
We take things one day at a time (ODAAT) with our quit. My wife knows this. She doesn't ask me about 'forever' with my quit- she'll ask me what day I'm on a couple times a week. One day at a time can be applied to a lot of areas in life.
Support him one day at a time. The days will add up all by themselves.
