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Author Topic: Betrayal  (Read 4735 times)

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Offline Raider

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #39 on: October 08, 2014, 01:27:00 AM »
Chat is also an amazing tool: http://chat.killthecan.org/
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Offline Raider

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #38 on: October 08, 2014, 01:19:00 AM »
Quote from: srkspouse
This is the wife of OP ( wantmylifeback) here. I appreciate all the motivation provided by you all. Thank you for that.

He said the same thing about quitting 10 months back except that there was no forum he joined at that time. He told me he was clean for 100 days and he started it only recently. I don't know how true that is. But why would a quitter start again after 100 days? If relapse like that is possible, what difference will it make now? How do I trust that he will quit and not go back like last time? How long should one go ( in days ) to be completely out of it?

Sorry if I am sounding skeptical. I have been hurt way too many times to believe anything my husband says about quitting.

Appreciate your inputs.
This is going to suck for both of you. Withdrawals are a bitch. sorry about the language but it is what it is.

Be sure to check out: http://www.killthecan.org/community/spousal-support/

This will help you understand what he is going through. Be supportive. Encourage him to Post Roll Daily

these are the rules here:

1). Post roll Daily
2). Be a man of your word
3). Be active here

I am clean for 222 days after dipping for 23 years. I applaud you for being on here but you need to be supportive. There are things he can use that will help. alternatives (Fake dip, Smokey Mountain, seeds, atomic fireballs, etc). He needs a ton of water, love, and support. The water will help flush the toxins. Motrin will help the headaches. Exercise will help it all.

EDIT: We are never out of the woods. We are addicts and always will be. It sucks now but it will be easier but it takes time.

I will also add that I previously "stopped" for 3 years only to start again for some stupid reason. That was before I found this amazing place.
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Offline srkspouse

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #37 on: October 08, 2014, 01:06:00 AM »
This is the wife of OP ( wantmylifeback) here. I appreciate all the motivation provided by you all. Thank you for that.

He said the same thing about quitting 10 months back except that there was no forum he joined at that time. He told me he was clean for 100 days and he started it only recently. I don't know how true that is. But why would a quitter start again after 100 days? If relapse like that is possible, what difference will it make now? How do I trust that he will quit and not go back like last time? How long should one go ( in days ) to be completely out of it?

Sorry if I am sounding skeptical. I have been hurt way too many times to believe anything my husband says about quitting.

Appreciate your inputs.
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Offline Scowick65

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #36 on: October 07, 2014, 04:42:00 PM »
Quote from: canless2014
That's good — that's the NAFAR (Never Again For Any Reason) part of the equation. For me, when it gets really tough and the nicotine is whispering in my ear, I forget about NAFAR for a little while and just focus on my promise. I posted roll this morning (last night at 12:01 AM as the case may be) to promise to my quit group that I won't go near nicotine. And I'll do the same tomorrow: +1, ODAAT (One Day At A Time).

I quit with you today.
Getting off of the nicotine train will often tame the "racy" mind. Your mind does crazy shit to get its nicotine fix. Stay quit and enjoy the rewards. You will not regret your awesome decision.
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Offline canless2014

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #35 on: October 07, 2014, 04:18:00 PM »
That's good — that's the NAFAR (Never Again For Any Reason) part of the equation. For me, when it gets really tough and the nicotine is whispering in my ear, I forget about NAFAR for a little while and just focus on my promise. I posted roll this morning (last night at 12:01 AM as the case may be) to promise to my quit group that I won't go near nicotine. And I'll do the same tomorrow: +1, ODAAT (One Day At A Time).

I quit with you today.
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"Post roll. Post more if you want to. That's the beauty of the place: We ask you post roll. We ask you to be honest. That's all. No more. No less. Be there for your brothers and ask for help when you need it." - Wastepanel 10/6/14

"What would you do to save your own life? If you were fighting cancer today would you suffer through Chemo, surgeries, try new a therapy? change your diet, go to church? What intolerable hell would you endure to simply live. When you have thought long and hard about that, think on this. Why not apply that attitude to your quit. Suffer through the temporary discomfort of withdrawal to achieve your freedom from a slow painful demise via nicotine. Your in the ring already- fight like you mean it." - Skoal Monster 10/8/14

Quit Date: 6/30/2014 at 4:30 PM

HOF Date: 10/07/2014

Offline wantmylifeback

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #34 on: October 07, 2014, 03:57:00 PM »
I just met with a psychiatrist to explain my situation and get help. They say I have a racy mind, and if I don't fix it NOW, I may be on the walk towards bipolar disorder. WTF? 15 minutes fun and some dumbass doc calls me Mr Britney Spears. I will prove that doc wrong and come out clean in this whole crap. Enough of you tobacco nonsense - NEVER EVER TOUCHING YOU, EVER AGAIN.
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Offline Thumblewort

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #33 on: October 07, 2014, 01:01:00 PM »
I truly hope you have a clean bill of health. As far as quitting, we don't wish luck here, we just quit for the day.
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Some of my fondest and clearest memories are peeing in places that aren't bathrooms.

Offline wantmylifeback

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #32 on: October 07, 2014, 11:24:00 AM »
I started post rolling, posted at wrong place and was corrected. Its tough, but like you said posting roll here vs cancer wall (I could be there already due to past two times stopping and finally quitting 5 days ago - did it for few months each time), that's for my doctors to say. I am meeting with my ENT next week and dentist next weekend. Can't tell anything with certainty - but the thought of a leukoplakic patch or anything worse truly scares me like it has never before. Wish me luck.
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Offline Thumblewort

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #31 on: October 07, 2014, 10:03:00 AM »
What WP said. Without a roll call it's just words on a screen to me.


UPDATE - I see a roll call, now I quit with you all day long!
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Some of my fondest and clearest memories are peeing in places that aren't bathrooms.

Offline wastepanel

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #30 on: October 07, 2014, 10:02:00 AM »
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: wantmylifeback
Day 4 and 5 went OK. Temptations and cravings - but not strong enough. I don't know if it will come back strongly as before. Today is day 6 - successful so far.
Fucking proud, wanttakingmylifeback.

Who cares if it comes back as strong as before? Right now...right this instance, you are deciding to be quit. Plan for the future, but let me just say that 6 days if freaking awesome. Could you imagine saying that you'd be 6 days in a week ago? You've come a long way, man. Let's walk together today.

Get some numbers. Use them. Be proactive in this quit. What's your plan for the day? Will you find yourself around users or at the cancer wall? How will you react to these situations? We plan. We protect our quit. Promising that you won't use today (posting roll) is the first step. Keep your word.

Take your life back.
Learn how to post roll

Your quit group - January 2015
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In the end I Surrender, I and I alone accept that I have and always will have a Nicotene ADDICTION. It is my choice to quit, but I can't do it alone. I get to go down this path one time, I want to do it right. I recognize that my word, my integrety to you is on the line and is only as good as my actions. Caving is not an option in this plan-Eafman 7/11

I am not cured. I will quit one day at a time. I will continue to do what works. Posting roll everyday. To do otherwise would be foolish on my part. You can do this-Ready 12/11

To overcome your addiction you must comprehend what it means to fail-Razd 3/12

Theres a lot of people that come here, especially vets, that WANT to be reminded that they are addicts.-Tarpon 6/12

Just as a building starts with architectural drawings. Your daily quit begins with a promise.-Scowick 2/13

Here and now, focused on today, minute by minute, whatever it takes, I promise to all my bros and myself not to become a negative stat and stay quit!-krok 1/15

I want everyone to be quit. Even the assholes.-Probe1957 1/18

Ignoring history or erasing history fixes nothing and leads you inevitably down the same path.-69franx 04/30/2021

Offline wastepanel

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #29 on: October 07, 2014, 10:00:00 AM »
Quote from: wantmylifeback
Day 4 and 5 went OK. Temptations and cravings - but not strong enough. I don't know if it will come back strongly as before. Today is day 6 - successful so far.
Fucking proud, wanttakingmylifeback.

Who cares if it comes back as strong as before? Right now...right this instance, you are deciding to be quit. Plan for the future, but let me just say that 6 days if freaking awesome. Could you imagine saying that you'd be 6 days in a week ago? You've come a long way, man. Let's walk together today.

Get some numbers. Use them. Be proactive in this quit. What's your plan for the day? Will you find yourself around users or at the cancer wall? How will you react to these situations? We plan. We protect our quit. Promising that you won't use today (posting roll) is the first step. Keep your word.

Take your life back.
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In the end I Surrender, I and I alone accept that I have and always will have a Nicotene ADDICTION. It is my choice to quit, but I can't do it alone. I get to go down this path one time, I want to do it right. I recognize that my word, my integrety to you is on the line and is only as good as my actions. Caving is not an option in this plan-Eafman 7/11

I am not cured. I will quit one day at a time. I will continue to do what works. Posting roll everyday. To do otherwise would be foolish on my part. You can do this-Ready 12/11

To overcome your addiction you must comprehend what it means to fail-Razd 3/12

Theres a lot of people that come here, especially vets, that WANT to be reminded that they are addicts.-Tarpon 6/12

Just as a building starts with architectural drawings. Your daily quit begins with a promise.-Scowick 2/13

Here and now, focused on today, minute by minute, whatever it takes, I promise to all my bros and myself not to become a negative stat and stay quit!-krok 1/15

I want everyone to be quit. Even the assholes.-Probe1957 1/18

Ignoring history or erasing history fixes nothing and leads you inevitably down the same path.-69franx 04/30/2021

Offline wantmylifeback

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #28 on: October 07, 2014, 09:50:00 AM »
Day 4 and 5 went OK. Temptations and cravings - but not strong enough. I don't know if it will come back strongly as before. Today is day 6 - successful so far.
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Offline visamoht

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #27 on: October 04, 2014, 03:44:00 PM »
Quote from: wantmylifeback
Quote from: Tuco's
Quote from: wantmylifeback
Day 1 is gone. No craving really, but anxiety was too much. Day 2 is going good so far. But my real day 1 has not started yet.
Congrats on hitting Day 2. Now go post that shit up on roll.
I thought replying to messages and posting here was posting on the roll. Is it not? Clarify please.
Your quit group is January 2015:
topic/10564902/16/?x=90#new

These are the instructions for posting roll:
topic/1003072/1/?x=90
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Stay close, stay strong, stay quit!
QD - 02.24.08 / HOF - 06.02.08 / COMMA - 11.19.10
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Offline wantmylifeback

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #26 on: October 04, 2014, 03:23:00 PM »
Quote from: Tuco's
Quote from: wantmylifeback
Day 1 is gone. No craving really, but anxiety was too much. Day 2 is going good so far. But my real day 1 has not started yet.
Congrats on hitting Day 2. Now go post that shit up on roll.
I thought replying to messages and posting here was posting on the roll. Is it not? Clarify please.
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Offline wantmylifeback

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Re: Betrayal
« Reply #25 on: October 04, 2014, 03:21:00 PM »
Quote from: Frosty179
I am in the same bout you are man I have tired quitting for years now lying to my wife in the process, which in return makes her very angry and not trust me, but this time is different I got support from awesome people on this website, also people that will push you in the direction that you need to go. You can do this buddy after the first three days it gets easier not completely but easier. Just pledge and post roll every day it will help. Also hit me up if you have any questions.
Day 2 went by OK. Day three sees my very anxious, impatient and irritated. But since my wife is in pieces bitten by my dishonest act yet another time. I want her back, I want her normal self back. And (if and) when she's back, my real day 1 starts in the journey of leading a life resisting faltering ways, each time I face an ethical dilemma. Thanks for all your support.
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