I knew this day was going to be extremely difficult. I have been dreading it for days. I have such a fear of the pure hell that i am embarking on. I had my last chew for the rest of my life last night at 8pm. I spit it out at 10pm, and right now i am locked in my office at work on the verge of either screaming at the top of my lungs or putting my office chairs through the walls or the window. The urge is so intense right now, and the depressed feeling that has already set in is ridiculous, but my 18 month old daughter has handed me my spit bottle for the last time. When she looks at you and says "Daddy" and smiles, all while holding your f-ing spit bottle because you are too much of a coward to go through a day without your crutch (chew can) and bff (spit bottle).
I apologize for the rant, but i am so pissed at myself for even allowing me to get to this point of being an addict to nicotine. I don't care how difficult the next few days are, there is no way in hell that I am going to put that shit in my mouth ever again.