Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)

[wildirish317]

The Law of Addiction

Day 55. I'm not sure why I started adding titles to my intro posts, maybe so I can find them easier. This one comes about after a discussion with kbdavear about how many times a person should be allowed to post day #1 on this site. I'm not going to go into that discussion here. You can find it in July 2016's quit group thread on April 29, 2016.

The discussion led to research. The research led to the law of addiction.

The Law is rather simple. It states, “Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."

Mastering it requires acceptance of three fundamental principles:
(1) that dependency upon using nicotine is true chemical addiction, captivating the same brain dopamine reward pathways as alcoholism, cocaine or heroin addiction;
(2) that once established we cannot cure or kill an addiction but only arrest it; and
(3) that once arrested, regardless of how long we have remained nicotine free, that just one hit of nicotine will create a high degree of probability of a full relapse.

Once you have mastered the law of addiction, there is absolutely no legitimate excuse to put nicotine into your body in any form. As a nicotine addict, you have permanently altered the way your brain functions. This cannot be undone. The only way to stay quit is to stay quit.

There is a smoking cessation website named whyquit.com. They have zero tolerance for nicotine. You get one try per lifetime on this site. You have posting privileges as long as you remain nicotine free. If you ingest nicotine, your posting privileges are permanently revoked.

I've given this topic a lot of thought over the past two days. For now, I'm going to leave my comments brief. There is a lot to absorb in this post.

[wildirish317]

My Quit Plan

Everyone needs one of these, right? This is a work in progress, and I will edit it as life goes on.

Post roll first thing every morning. Then go back later in the morning and post in the Party Bus a Quit, every June group, and every 2016 group.

When I get a crave, text Danojeno and ask for permission to take a dip. So far, just thinking about doing this chases the crave away before I even touch the phone.

If Danojeno doesn't respond, go through all of my KTC phone contacts, asking permission to take a dip, until I find one that says "Yes". By the time I get to the end of the list, I'm sure my crave will be gone.

I'm open to suggestions for improvement.

This is a terrific plan. 'boob' 'boob' Mine is very similar and I've modified it to include texting wildirish317 when I get a crave.

Notice the talons! So scare!

[danojeno]

My Quit Plan

Everyone needs one of these, right? This is a work in progress, and I will edit it as life goes on.

Post roll first thing every morning. Then go back later in the morning and post in the Party Bus a Quit, every June group, and every 2016 group.

When I get a crave, text Danojeno and ask for permission to take a dip. So far, just thinking about doing this chases the crave away before I even touch the phone.

If Danojeno doesn't respond, go through all of my KTC phone contacts, asking permission to take a dip, until I find one that says "Yes". By the time I get to the end of the list, I'm sure my crave will be gone.

I'm open to suggestions for improvement.

This is a terrific plan. 'boob' 'boob' Mine is very similar and I've modified it to include texting wildirish317 when I get a crave.

[wildirish317]

My Quit Plan

Everyone needs one of these, right? This is a work in progress, and I will edit it as life goes on.

Post roll first thing every morning. Then go back later in the morning and post in the Party Bus a Quit, every June group, and every 2016 group.

When I get a crave, text Danojeno and ask for permission to take a dip. So far, just thinking about doing this chases the crave away before I even touch the phone.

If Danojeno doesn't respond, go through all of my KTC phone contacts, asking permission to take a dip, until I find one that says "Yes". By the time I get to the end of the list, I'm sure my crave will be gone.

I'm open to suggestions for improvement.

[brettlees]

Dip Dream #1

As a newbie, you always wonder about dip dreams. Will they happen to me? What will they by like? I had my first one last night, not really a dip dream, more of a cave dream. Here's how it played out:

Mrs. Irish and I were at our daughter's house, watching a TV show about Virginia cigarettes (may have been Virginia Slims, but I don't recall "Slims" in the name.) As it would be in a dream, there just happened to be a pack sitting on the coffee table in front of me. I was curious to experience what they were describing in the show, so I took one, lit it, and smoked it.

I was reaching for the second one when I realized what I had done. A wave of panic came over me. I looked at Mrs. Irish and said "Shit! I just caved!" I thought about how I was going to explain this to my June group, and the July group that I would have to join. How could I be so stupid not to realize that a cigarette is a cigarette, and they all have nicotine? "Sneaky bitch!" I thought as I woke up.

First time I've read your intro- great log all around, thanks for doing this, these sorts of stories of the progression of a person's quit really helped me a lot in my foggy days!

Great dream story too- crazy how that happens. I'm not even surprised when i get them, at almost 900 days free. As my friend Rdad points out, though, those dreams are good because you wake up and you're still free! That positive attitude actually helps your quit, i believe, because when you feel good about your quit you are reprogramming your brain about good life is without that ball and chain addiction.

Keep up the good, quit, i'm in your corner, and reach out if you need help- you're certainly helping others by doing it this way!

[wildirish317]

Dip Dream #1

As a newbie, you always wonder about dip dreams. Will they happen to me? What will they by like? I had my first one last night, not really a dip dream, more of a cave dream. Here's how it played out:

Mrs. Irish and I were at our daughter's house, watching a TV show about Virginia cigarettes (may have been Virginia Slims, but I don't recall "Slims" in the name.) As it would be in a dream, there just happened to be a pack sitting on the coffee table in front of me. I was curious to experience what they were describing in the show, so I took one, lit it, and smoked it.

I was reaching for the second one when I realized what I had done. A wave of panic came over me. I looked at Mrs. Irish and said "Shit! I just caved!" I thought about how I was going to explain this to my June group, and the July group that I would have to join. How could I be so stupid not to realize that a cigarette is a cigarette, and they all have nicotine? "Sneaky bitch!" I thought as I woke up.

[wildirish317]

The Lessons of Bowe

Occasionally, a tragic person passes through our life. You know the type, you look at them and realize they are a train wreck in progress and all you can do is watch. Bowe is one of these. She stormed into KTC on Friday, March 18th and was banned on Sunday, April 2nd.

There are not a lot of things you can learn from a person in two weeks and change, but it's not about quantity, it's about quality.

Lesson #1: KTC is about quitting nicotine. Leave it at that. Don't come here for anything else. Don't pretend to be something you're not. Don't strive to become something other than what you are. There is nothing to prove to anyone else here. There is only quit. We begin each day with quit. Hopefully, we end each day quit.

Lesson #2: When you lie on the internet, the primary person you are lying to is your self. When you make a statement that you know to be untrue on the internet, five days in a row, who exactly are you fooling? The people you think you're lying to cease to exist when you turn off your computer, but you're still here, one lying sack of shite.

Lesson #3: We are here to quit, for ourselves, nobody else. We join ranks with others who are here to quit, for ourselves, nobody else. This is our common cause. This is our Brotherhood.

Really, you have to judge education by the quality, not the quantity.

[MonsterMedic]

Day 35.

You only quit when you die.

I made that statement, some 20 years ago, after several attempts at quitting. I realized that I could stop for a period of time, but I would never know that I am completely quit, never again, until I'm dead.

The recent resurgence of serial cavers made me think of this. Twenty years ago, that statement made me lose hope. Five weeks ago, I came here. "Don't worry about tomorrow", they said, "Just stop for today."

I'm an engineer. I think logically. This made sense. I don't have to quit; let's take that off the table. I can stop for a day. When tomorrow comes, I can wake up and make a decision to do it again.

I'm at a place in my quit where I'm hunkered down for the long haul. I have no illusion of ever being "safe" in my quit. I think this happens to a lot of cavers; they reach a point in their quit where they feel safe, and let their guard down. They stop posting roll. They stop reading the horror stories of the newbies going through the suck. They lose touch with their brethren.

At some point in my quit I will probably feel safe. I hope I can remember that it's a signal to get my ass in here ASAP!

Complacency kills quits.

Keep looking at it one day at a time.

You're rocking it.

[wildirish317]

Day 35.

You only quit when you die.

I made that statement, some 20 years ago, after several attempts at quitting. I realized that I could stop for a period of time, but I would never know that I am completely quit, never again, until I'm dead.

The recent resurgence of serial cavers made me think of this. Twenty years ago, that statement made me lose hope. Five weeks ago, I came here. "Don't worry about tomorrow", they said, "Just stop for today."

I'm an engineer. I think logically. This made sense. I don't have to quit; let's take that off the table. I can stop for a day. When tomorrow comes, I can wake up and make a decision to do it again.

I'm at a place in my quit where I'm hunkered down for the long haul. I have no illusion of ever being "safe" in my quit. I think this happens to a lot of cavers; they reach a point in their quit where they feel safe, and let their guard down. They stop posting roll. They stop reading the horror stories of the newbies going through the suck. They lose touch with their brethren.

At some point in my quit I will probably feel safe. I hope I can remember that it's a signal to get my ass in here ASAP!

[wildirish317]

Hi wildirish. I just re read your intro post. Just curious if you've done anything about the other two addictions you mentioned.

Zing! I was wondering how long it would take for someone to ask that question.

No, I haven't. I can give you all kinds of addict excuses, but I won't. Alcohol is next on the list, but it will be tougher. It's very ingrained in my social life (I don't hide it like I did nicotine), and Mrs. Irish will have to join me on that quit.

Caffeine, I'm not as worried about. It may be more of a habit than addiction. I don't see caffeine pop up on too many addictive substances lists.

I rarely drink alcohol. If I average six drinks over a two month period, I'd be surprised.

I've never given caffeine a second thought. I drink coffee most mornings. I drink Coke and/or Mt. Dew most days. I doubt if I've had a caffeine free day in 30 years.

My blood pressure is very good, despite 25 years of constant nicotine and 30 years of average to maybe above average caffeine intake.

If a Dr. ever mentioned that I should give up caffeine, I'd do it, then I'd find out how hard it really is, I'm sure.

Addict speak? I'm not sure.

It's that circular conversation ... I can quit caffeine whenever I want to. Then why don't you? I don't want to. But could you? I can quit caffeine whenever I want to...

Have you had your BP checked since you started your quit to see what kind of impact it's had?

Annual physical exam scheduled for a week from tomorrow. I will post a report here afterward.

Edit: Instead of making a new post, I'll put it here. BP today is 124/84. A bit high, but much better than it's been.

[RDB]

Hi wildirish. I just re read your intro post. Just curious if you've done anything about the other two addictions you mentioned.

Zing! I was wondering how long it would take for someone to ask that question.

No, I haven't. I can give you all kinds of addict excuses, but I won't. Alcohol is next on the list, but it will be tougher. It's very ingrained in my social life (I don't hide it like I did nicotine), and Mrs. Irish will have to join me on that quit.

Caffeine, I'm not as worried about. It may be more of a habit than addiction. I don't see caffeine pop up on too many addictive substances lists.

I rarely drink alcohol. If I average six drinks over a two month period, I'd be surprised.

I've never given caffeine a second thought. I drink coffee most mornings. I drink Coke and/or Mt. Dew most days. I doubt if I've had a caffeine free day in 30 years.

My blood pressure is very good, despite 25 years of constant nicotine and 30 years of average to maybe above average caffeine intake.

If a Dr. ever mentioned that I should give up caffeine, I'd do it, then I'd find out how hard it really is, I'm sure.

Addict speak? I'm not sure.

It's that circular conversation ... I can quit caffeine whenever I want to. Then why don't you? I don't want to. But could you? I can quit caffeine whenever I want to...

Have you had your BP checked since you started your quit to see what kind of impact it's had?

[suthern_gntlman]

Would've, could've, should've...

You're an inspiration. I could be where you are right now, had I only started digging my hole sooner.

I'm having a hard time getting over myself. I keep kicking myself for lollygagging around my first 330 days.

Everyday is a new day. Sometimes the middle of the day needs a reboot.

Ctl+alt+delete

Re-start.

Thanks and keep digging!

[wildirish317]

Hi wildirish. I just re read your intro post. Just curious if you've done anything about the other two addictions you mentioned.

Zing! I was wondering how long it would take for someone to ask that question.

No, I haven't. I can give you all kinds of addict excuses, but I won't. Alcohol is next on the list, but it will be tougher. It's very ingrained in my social life (I don't hide it like I did nicotine), and Mrs. Irish will have to join me on that quit.

Caffeine, I'm not as worried about. It may be more of a habit than addiction. I don't see caffeine pop up on too many addictive substances lists.

[RDB]

Hi wildirish. I just re read your intro post. Just curious if you've done anything about the other two addictions you mentioned.

[wildirish317]

Okay, 33 days in, I updated my "three questions" post. You don't have to go back and find it. It's here.