Author Topic: Finally had enough  (Read 2365 times)

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Offline Stillamarine

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #22 on: December 15, 2017, 09:59:00 AM »
Quote from: pain108
I will Irish, i found a few supporting members now so I can be personally responsible. I started all wrong but he first time including my post in roll. I wonÂ’t insult members by putting anything in there until I am further in my real quit.

For the record I made it 20 hours not 6, not that that is any better but I am now the 6 hour guy in roll call until I prove otherwise, which is completely fair.
BS. Take your ass to roll call and post your promise. Then keep it. Post day 2, then day 3 etc. I promise you. On day 100 nobody will remember day 1. My digits are going in your inbox.
No day but today.

Semper Fi

24 years of dipping = 8,765 days of slavery to the nic-bitch (approximately)

Quit date June 12th, 2015

Offline canofbeans

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #21 on: December 15, 2017, 09:55:00 AM »
Quote from: pain108
I will Irish, i found a few supporting members now so I can be personally responsible. I started all wrong but he first time including my post in roll. I wonÂ’t insult members by putting anything in there until I am further in my real quit.

For the record I made it 20 hours not 6, not that that is any better but I am now the 6 hour guy in roll call until I prove otherwise, which is completely fair.
The only thing required to prove otherwise is to post your promise today. Keep nicotine out of your system all day. Post Day 2 tomorrow. Viola! you proved otherwise.

repeat everyday and keep nicotine out of your life every day one day at a time!

It is fucking hard, but really really simple
Rebel Rouser (retired)

Offline JMckay

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #20 on: December 14, 2017, 08:22:00 PM »
Well I'm gonna add my 2 cents. You said you have ptsd well I have anxiety disorder I have panic attacks probably had 1000s of them. A good deal of them I thought I was dying maybe not ptsd but a problem that is in the same realm for sure. I quit chewing to be healthier well those first few weeks felt anything but healthy made it super difficult to wonna stay quit. Well I had my ups and downs other people seemed to improve quicker than me or at least that is how it felt. What helped me was talking to people on here it saved my quit just texting them. I never connected with anyone who had issues like mine and pushed though the quit. I would have attacks that dropped me over and over but I pushed through one day at a time at first maybe an hour at a time if you have to. What I'm saying is if I can do it you can do it. Im almost to 250 days some days are still shit but its improved so dam much. If your gonna make this quit last you need to acknowledge the ptsd if youv never went to counselor therapists self-help stuff use it. I will pm you my number also. I still use the fake stuff but that does leave the habit flowing but one thing at a time. Im in the national guard so I understand not wanting to look weak in front of your coworkers but at times I stepped out and meditated. I told them I'm quitting and its rough on me gonna need some space sometimes. I quit with you

Offline pain108

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #19 on: December 14, 2017, 06:48:00 PM »
I will Irish, i found a few supporting members now so I can be personally responsible. I started all wrong but he first time including my post in roll. I wonÂ’t insult members by putting anything in there until I am further in my real quit.

For the record I made it 20 hours not 6, not that that is any better but I am now the 6 hour guy in roll call until I prove otherwise, which is completely fair.

Offline wildirish317

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #18 on: December 14, 2017, 03:28:00 PM »
Just quit for one day. Don't make it any more complicated than that. One friggin' day!!!

Even I can do that.
“Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else, everything". - Danny Trejo

Offline pain108

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #17 on: December 14, 2017, 03:21:00 PM »
Quote from: BrianG
OK Pain, going to say my peace and you can do with it what you want. I dipped for 35 years (as long as you have been alive). The last 10+ years, I dipped at least a can a day. Nobody liked dipping more than I did. Anyway, you have to get to the point where you want to quit. When you really reach that point, then you may be able to do this. The first thing you have to do is take tobacco off the table. No matter how bad it gets, tobacco is never going to be an option again. When you get your head straight and truly believe that, your mind will start to function differently. You have to get through today. Are you telling me you cant quit for 1 day? come on man, give me a break. We wake up and promise no nicotine today. No matter how bad it gets today, nicotine is not an option. Cry in you pillow if you have to, but not today. This shit is for real. You think you could quit if you got diagnosed with cancer today. would you quit then? Get your head straight and lets go!! Quit today and wake up tomorrow and do it again. That mentality has gotten me to day 331 today after a 35 years of dipping...It can be done.

One other thing, you seem to be a guy that likes to make excuses. Fuck that. You give all kinds of reasons why you can cave...poor you. Do a little reading on this site and tell me you are special...you are not. people quitting everyday on this site while they get kicked in the nuts by life. You ain't special...just week...learn how to quit by reading all you can on this site and you will grow strong in your quit. My number is in your inbox in the top right of screen...use it!!

Peace!
BrainG you nailed it, I made a weak excuse today.

Offline BrianG

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #16 on: December 14, 2017, 03:10:00 PM »
OK Pain, going to say my peace and you can do with it what you want. I dipped for 35 years (as long as you have been alive). The last 10+ years, I dipped at least a can a day. Nobody liked dipping more than I did. Anyway, you have to get to the point where you want to quit. When you really reach that point, then you may be able to do this. The first thing you have to do is take tobacco off the table. No matter how bad it gets, tobacco is never going to be an option again. When you get your head straight and truly believe that, your mind will start to function differently. You have to get through today. Are you telling me you cant quit for 1 day? come on man, give me a break. We wake up and promise no nicotine today. No matter how bad it gets today, nicotine is not an option. Cry in you pillow if you have to, but not today. This shit is for real. You think you could quit if you got diagnosed with cancer today. would you quit then? Get your head straight and lets go!! Quit today and wake up tomorrow and do it again. That mentality has gotten me to day 331 today after a 35 years of dipping...It can be done.

One other thing, you seem to be a guy that likes to make excuses. Fuck that. You give all kinds of reasons why you can cave...poor you. Do a little reading on this site and tell me you are special...you are not. people quitting everyday on this site while they get kicked in the nuts by life. You ain't special...just week...learn how to quit by reading all you can on this site and you will grow strong in your quit. My number is in your inbox in the top right of screen...use it!!

Peace!
He who has a why can bear almost any how.

Offline pain108

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #15 on: December 14, 2017, 03:01:00 PM »
Ok guys I failed on day one, I thought I was in a better place mentally yesterday to start my quit because things have been on an upswing lately and I have been wanting to do this for a long time. As I mentioned before I have been in Law Enforcement for 10 years and currently I am very unhappy with my career and looking to exit and move on to something else so I can better provide for my family. I have moved pretty damn high in my organization for my age (I made Lieutenant at 34, 35 now), but I have been suffering with some PTSD issues that I refused to acknowledge. Over the last 4 years my family has had a rough time (my wife nearly died during childbirth of our daughter, my wife's mother died shortly after that, my father was diagnosed with ALS and died within a year in 2016, and this year me and my wife have been having marital problems).

I hid my dipping (Grizzly Wintergreen pouches) from my family for a long time and my wife was really mad when she found out, but she did not make me quit. I want to quit for me, but the lingering thoughts of a marital issue that popped up today started creeping in my head while at work and the damn nicotine started whispering to me. I thought if I used a vape pen that I had and a really low dose of nicotine, I made me able to taper better when my brain started going crazy, but that was a lie.

30 minutes after using the vape pen I was buying a damn can, and here I am having to admit that I failed.

I am not proud of myself at this moment.

Offline canofbeans

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #14 on: December 14, 2017, 02:51:00 PM »
Quote from: pain108
Quote from: Stillamarine
Quote from: pain108
I just flushed it. Damn that was hard
Now you're talking. Get some seeds. Cinnamon candy worked great for me too.
I failed brother 'bang head' , this time is worse than the last 2
So I'm guessing you did not reach out to anyone for their number? Then you did not text any of those numbers you don't have before putting a turd in your mouth?

Everyone has stress in life, but dipping isn't changing it, I can tell you that much.

My Dad passed away unexpectedly in June. 56 years old, my best friend, can 't get myself to go golfing without him. Dip? Fuck that!
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Offline pain108

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #13 on: December 14, 2017, 02:35:00 PM »
Quote from: Stillamarine
Quote from: pain108
I just flushed it. Damn that was hard
Now you're talking. Get some seeds. Cinnamon candy worked great for me too.
I failed brother 'bang head' , this time is worse than the last 2

Offline Stillamarine

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2017, 12:33:00 PM »
Quote from: pain108
I just flushed it. Damn that was hard
Now you're talking. Get some seeds. Cinnamon candy worked great for me too.
No day but today.

Semper Fi

24 years of dipping = 8,765 days of slavery to the nic-bitch (approximately)

Quit date June 12th, 2015

Offline pain108

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2017, 11:23:00 AM »
I just flushed it. Damn that was hard

Offline Stillamarine

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2017, 10:46:00 AM »
Quote from: pain108
Quote from: Stillamarine
Quote from: pain108
Ok got my name added to roll call.

Definitely starting to feel the crazy surges this morning, I am heading to the store in a few minutes to grab some sunflower seeds and gum. I had to step back this morning and catch myself from loosing my cool on the kids while they were arguing before school. I had to remind myself that the lack of Nicotine was what was really causing me to be angry (although my oldest was most definitely being a smart mouth and talking back).

Anyway I remember the initial insanity, which is why I should have stuck with my guns the first two times, so I didn't have to go back through this part again. The first time I quit, I got hard core into the brain fog stage and caved in one night when I really needed to concentrate (For safety reasons at work - I am a police officer and I was on a dangerous SWAT call out), I shouldn't have caved in, but I did, that was two years ago.
I am convinced that first responders/military have some of the most difficult quits because dipping is a big part of the culture. When I quit I was an SRO. Normally during the school year I only dipped a couple times during the day and never outside of work because my wife thought I had quit years ago. Well when I quit it was the summer and we were working patrol. On patrol I dipped almost the entire shift except when I was eating. Day 4 of my quit was on a Monday. About 1pm I started getting the shakes and nausea so bad I had to go to the hole. 20 mins later a high risk call went out that occupied my mind for the next 4 hours. Didn't think about a dip the rest of the day. Don't know if your religious but I'm convinced that call saved me. (Everyone made it out ok btw). We as police officers have a hard time thinking of ourselves as addicts because we see addicts every day. I want you to sit back and reflect on your behavior over the last how ever many years you dipped. Do any of them look familiar? Scrounging pennies to buy a can? Changing your day around to get a dip in? Hiding it from those you love? Craving a dip? Even now. Not knowing how you can make it without it? Brother we are addicts. Maybe our addiction isn't as culturally abhorrent as narcotics or alcohol but it is an addiction all the same. You can make it through this. I promise you. You will have roadblocks. You will have people you trust trying to lure you back. I know. I still have buddies try to get me to take "just that one." Let your teammates and partners know that it is going to be an ordeal. Tell your family. You have an amazing support system here. Trade numbers with your quit group. (I know as cops we are hesitant to give out our numbers to strangers, I was when I first got here but it has been a lifesaver.) You still have to have support in the real world. You got this. No day but today.

1*
I am sitting in the office and I am mentally loosing my sh.t right now, I know it is the time to quit and I want to, but I have a partial can in my pocket from yesterday. I just grabbed some gum and seeds from the store, but some ongoing issues in my personal life and this evil addiction are hitting me really hard right now.
First thing you have to do is get rid of that shit. You can't tell me your brave enough to breach a door on an armed suspect and not brave enough to throw a can out? Brother you are better than that. Take all your life problems. Why add another one like this addiction? You'll still have all those problems and an addiction. So get rid of one of them. Flush that can. Don't let a plant rule you. Make the breach.
No day but today.

Semper Fi

24 years of dipping = 8,765 days of slavery to the nic-bitch (approximately)

Quit date June 12th, 2015

Offline pain108

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2017, 10:29:00 AM »
Quote from: Stillamarine
Quote from: pain108
Ok got my name added to roll call.

Definitely starting to feel the crazy surges this morning, I am heading to the store in a few minutes to grab some sunflower seeds and gum. I had to step back this morning and catch myself from loosing my cool on the kids while they were arguing before school. I had to remind myself that the lack of Nicotine was what was really causing me to be angry (although my oldest was most definitely being a smart mouth and talking back).

Anyway I remember the initial insanity, which is why I should have stuck with my guns the first two times, so I didn't have to go back through this part again. The first time I quit, I got hard core into the brain fog stage and caved in one night when I really needed to concentrate (For safety reasons at work - I am a police officer and I was on a dangerous SWAT call out), I shouldn't have caved in, but I did, that was two years ago.
I am convinced that first responders/military have some of the most difficult quits because dipping is a big part of the culture. When I quit I was an SRO. Normally during the school year I only dipped a couple times during the day and never outside of work because my wife thought I had quit years ago. Well when I quit it was the summer and we were working patrol. On patrol I dipped almost the entire shift except when I was eating. Day 4 of my quit was on a Monday. About 1pm I started getting the shakes and nausea so bad I had to go to the hole. 20 mins later a high risk call went out that occupied my mind for the next 4 hours. Didn't think about a dip the rest of the day. Don't know if your religious but I'm convinced that call saved me. (Everyone made it out ok btw). We as police officers have a hard time thinking of ourselves as addicts because we see addicts every day. I want you to sit back and reflect on your behavior over the last how ever many years you dipped. Do any of them look familiar? Scrounging pennies to buy a can? Changing your day around to get a dip in? Hiding it from those you love? Craving a dip? Even now. Not knowing how you can make it without it? Brother we are addicts. Maybe our addiction isn't as culturally abhorrent as narcotics or alcohol but it is an addiction all the same. You can make it through this. I promise you. You will have roadblocks. You will have people you trust trying to lure you back. I know. I still have buddies try to get me to take "just that one." Let your teammates and partners know that it is going to be an ordeal. Tell your family. You have an amazing support system here. Trade numbers with your quit group. (I know as cops we are hesitant to give out our numbers to strangers, I was when I first got here but it has been a lifesaver.) You still have to have support in the real world. You got this. No day but today.

1*
I am sitting in the office and I am mentally loosing my sh.t right now, I know it is the time to quit and I want to, but I have a partial can in my pocket from yesterday. I just grabbed some gum and seeds from the store, but some ongoing issues in my personal life and this evil addiction are hitting me really hard right now.

Offline DamnSasquatch

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Re: Finally had enough
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2017, 10:10:00 AM »
Quote from: Stranger999
Quote from: Big
Quote from: pain108
Alright everyone, I am here to make myself publicly responsible this time. My quit officially starts tomorrow morning. I am done, tired of this crap. I have been dipping for about seven years now and I have quit before (for 45 days and then 10 days), but I slipped back into the evil habit. I want to quit for the right reasons this time, not because my brother quit or because I have a test coming up for nicotine in my blood stream for life insurance, but because I want to for me and because I want to be here for a long time for my wife and two beautiful children.

Here comes the crazy times 'bang head'
Hi there!

Awesome to see you taking the correct steps in signing up on the website, let's make sure you succeed in quitting this time. By taking part in the KTC program then you will be joining a quit group, yours would be March 2018. MARCH 2018 LINK. Every morning you wake up and post your roll call promise which takes no more than 30 seconds.. Here is a link on how to post roll, HOW TO POST ROLL VIDEO..If you invest into your quit then I think we will see a good end result...

Please reach out to me or anyone if you need anything!

Big Red
Welcome and I hope to see you on roll tomorrow. The thing about tomorrow - you always have time to talk yourself out of your plans. Something can always come up in the meantime that prevents actual quitting. That is why we quit TODAY and succeed one day at a time.
WELCOME! This will be one of the best decisions you've ever made. I've found the first handful of days really suck, but it eases off after that. Stay strong, use the tools here and you'll have sucsess.
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