Adding a recent and current experience to the "journal" I'm keeping here. I'm at 220 days today.
I spent the first three days of my quit on Tylenol pm. I used jolly ranchers and atomic fireballs. Then I heard about the fake chew. I latched on to it like a drowning man. I have been unilaterally supportive of using the fake stuff since the beginning.
I'm not so much anymore.
I'm now going on two days without it and I'm finding that there is a severe psychological dependency that isn't broken until you stop putting shit in your lip. I'm anxious. I have chewed my lip raw. I have anxiety. I want that fake chew. I recognize these symptoms. I remember them from the nicotine part of this addiction. I feel like I am not free of this shit. Yes I'm nic free but the psychological hold the "lip" has is still there. I'm fighting it right now. This second. Right as I'm typing this.
It's frustrating. I'm disheartened. I feel like I'm in week one again.
I'm going to buy some seeds today.
I thought I was past this.
Well...I'm going to be. You can bet your ass. I'm not letting this shit, fake or not, control me one second longer.
I'm turning that frustration into anger and I refuse to allow that shit any toehold on my heart mind and soul.
If you are new here, just quitting and holding on to the fake stuff I'm going on record as saying its a bad idea. Don't go through the bullshit all over again. Rip the bandaid off in one shot.
Keep no crutches.
That's really what the fake stuff is. It's a crutch. I regret using it based on what I'm feeling right now.
Sorry to hear that you're going through this. But super pumped for 2 reason:
1) You're recognizing what you're going through and not chalking it up to "I want dip". You realize that you want the "act" of dipping which is very different.
2) You're recording it. This is super important too and adds a ton of value here. I personally never had a hard time putting down the fake (at around day 220 or so if I remember correctly) but I know that my experience isn't necessarily that of everyone.
That being said... I do find it ironic that you're having these issues at day 220. I had a REALLY rough stretch right around there as well. Call it a 200+ day funk of sorts. Seems you may be getting hit with a similar situation.
The good news (if there is any) is that if your quit follows the same trajectory as mine, you're in for hundreds and hundreds of days of smooth sailing after a few more days of funk.
Rock on!
chewie
Hey Bulldog, Chewie might be onto something . I never used the fake but I am going thru a funky time right now too. I know we will get thru this but it does suck when it sneaks up on you after feeling so good for quite awhile. You got this. We are definitely not alone.
Jerry 229
You got this man! I was also much in the same boat. I used fake for about the first 100 days or more, then just decided fuck it I was done; I have since used some fake from time to time when a circumstance of life presented itself. I always made it OK because it was better than caving. However, it was a crutch and I was damned if I needed a crutch or a cane. Since then I have found that Hot Tamales work great as my crutch, yet note to self if left in a pants pocket they fuck up a load of laundry.
During the transition I faced several dark days of life (death of a loved one, marital problems, mother's cancer...) it was never easy and it seemed as though life kept throwing me curveballs. Well just like when playing baseball I decided that it was time to swing at a curveball in lieu of staring at it as it passed. The can of Smokey Mountain in my bag is well over 6 months old and is still sealed up tight, yet reading your post just made me open it, dump it and flush it.
I am with you bud, fuck it neither of us need a crutch.
P
