Hey guys, sorry i'm late getting back. this site rocks. I'm on Day 5. tough.... But i am in control and am doing this. Let me tell you my logic of keeping my wife out of it. (I've maintained, and made it a big point to be aware and nice. haven't had a blow up at all yet on fam.)
during my addiction, wife busted me a couple of times. Everytime it happened, i became a wild animal... desperate for hunting down excuses. then I had her on my ass belittling me and such for such a nasty habit. She was right, it is a nasty habit. But i swear her way of helping, put me on defensive and i felt like it wasn't my decision. Then resorted to chewing because the quit wasn't for me.
My feable quit attempts lasted a day or so, and i went back to hiding it.
Now, i am very good at hiding it. I could continue hiding it for the next 25 years.
The difference with this quit is it was all me making a decision for myself ;Ironman: , not somebody telling me to. Right now my marriage has been awsome, even during this past few days of quit. I wonder if possibly unloading the baggage of hiding a habit helps offset the irritability coming with quit. either way, homelife been great.
I've reached out and been in contact with several members. i tell you, sharing experience, venting, with people that actually know the reality of this battle, helps a ton.
I don't know, chime in. am i backwards?? I just feel like its between me and the can, and you all are in my corner. My wife's personality, don't feel like it would help, probably make things worse.
Man this is deep...
Could backfire like with flrednek28.
But she might think relationship is stronger now your not hiding anything.
Sounds like as Strong as the marriage is.. You can't loose anyway.
Im gonna stay with the Truth.
I'm more concerned about quiting and being clean and having nothing to hide behind, rather than her being mad.
Do you think your failures in the past were because you were looking for a little respect or pat on the back?
Then when you don't get it... Back on the resentment train?
This is so hard two see sometimes in the Fog... But this quit is yours... And the more people you share it with the stronger it becomes. You have too shout it out and have more accountability than you have secrets and or places to hide behind!
The formula works... Same in here. At first... I wasn't giving a stranger my phone number... Don't need strangers bugging me!
Then I realized I'm an addict. And there's never been an addict quit alone.
Brother I need a army of people holding my feet to the fire.
Every person you add to your accountability list, the stronger your chance of defeating the enemy. Fact.
This isn't just a decision. This is war and will be a new way of life.
I would bring home Two books on addiction.. And tell her you are tired of struggling with the desires to have tobacco. Then teach and share with her what your learning.. Nicotine 101 also good read. She would have to respect that.
Either way you go at home and what ever happens don't let that effect what you have started here. Ask for some digits... I just sent you mine. And get involved with June. You need us... And we need you.
Thanks for sharing and being so transparent.
Sorry for rambling just my 2 cents and you can't buy a dang thing with it.
I quit with you today.
Rawls.
