Well, it's Ohio and spring is about a month away (seriously...it's still fucking cold here but we don't care. Calendar says it's spring...we'll act like it's spring.). Tax season is done, and that means my yard awaits.
Yesterday was the first day I got to go out and play around. The grass is mowed, and we edged the mulch beds (which were really easy as we just laid fresh mulch last year). I did a little weed whacking, but not too much as I hate that fucking thing. The only things that were driving me crazy were these gigantic bushes around my house. I have one right next to my patio that acts as a wall, but I can't do anything to that right now as some birds have decided to next there. I have one on the corner of my house that I cut down to 5 feet last year while quoting Ivan Drago (
If he dies...he dies.).
The last one sits right on my property line and is fucking out of control. It's like 10 feet in diameter, and while one side is manageable, the other side sits on a hill so I end up swinging the trimmer wildly above my head like a pussified Leatherface (Ohio Bushtrimmer Crisis?). I hate this fucking bush as it sits right in my mowing lines, and I get stuck on the (previously mentioned) hill if there is an ounce of moisture on the ground. It sits pretty close to my septic tank, so I'm always wondering if its roots are the reason I'll be shelling out $8000-$10000 here for a new one.
Well, I decided yesterday I was pulling that shit up.
When I announced this, my wife gave me a look and headed inside. I took a few swipes, and I began cutting into it. The outside stuff (the little branches) came off easily, but they left quite a mess on the ground. The inner branches were a little thicker and required a little more work. I brought out my big branch cutters, and I went to town. Before I knew it, I was 3 quarters into it. My wife was surprised as to how easily it was coming down, and commented that we'd now have a "good look at the un-kept house next door". Before I knew it, the bush had been disassembled and was sitting on the burn pile.
The roots were still sticking out of the ground, and I could see at least 7 places in this area where the bush has once emerged from the ground. Instead of clipping everything really close to the ground, I thought I'd probably just dig up the roots. I got 2 out in about an hour, and then I broke a shovel. I went to my back up, and that fucking broke too. I was tired. I was pissed.
And now I don't even have a shovel.
Maybe it was because I was wearing my KTC shirt, or maybe I was just remembering
THIS awesome post. Maybe it was because I was doing yard work without a single craving...
But I sat down, and I realized that I didn't have to kill this all off at once. Like nicotine, this bush doesn't magically just "disappear". The small branches come off easily, but there's some bigger stuff underneath that. Once I get rid of those, there's still some roots that I need to tend to. Each layer of my quit required a different tool: I can use the clippers (will power) to get through the initial branches, but I have to pull out my big clippers (attitude change) to get through those major branches. Once I clear through all that, I pull out my shovel (consistency, roll call). Along the way, I've broken a few tools. That shit doesn't stop me though. I just get another.
I'm an impatient man, and it urks me that I have a dead spot in my yard with some ankle slicing roots sticking out of it. But at lunch today, I'm getting another shovel.
It will be gone (at least the pieces I can get to). As long as I stay vigilant on this, it won't become the hassle it was before. That means I need to watch for any roots sprouting and clip those off immediately. If I ignore those things, I'll be right back to where I was before.
Stay quit. We can do this.