I am a sucker for horror movies.
I fucking love them. I don't know what it is, but there is just something about the creepiness, gratutitous blood and sex, and the fight for survival. Zombie movies are my absolute favorite, but I also love the unstoppable killers and I'm really getting into homicidal haunted house movies (especially point of view).
It's funny how closely quitting resembles a horror movie.
When we start out this journey, we get surrounded by friends and strangers alike. We don't know who to trust, and generally mistrust the creepy guy telling us to "get out if you know what's good for you". We pal around those first few days because we know we are out of place. We feel like the living in the place of the dead, yet we feel like zombies wandering the landscape.
Very shortly thereafter, the strangers start getting picked off. We've all seen them. They are the quitters that we run into at roll call, do their own thing, and wander off into the woods camping alone. They are usually sitting there quietly surviving on their own when the maniac
emplants a machete in their skull. They are the first to go simply because they chose to go it alone. They expect to ride along on this train because...well...we'll carry them. When they don't like our questions or answers, they lash out. They usually die out in broad daylight, but nobody notices.
Rule #1 to surviving a quit is not to be a stranger. Be involved. Make the camera follow you and the story about you.Now that everybody is getting settled in our
creepy desination, we get a feel for our characters. Some of them are characters that make very good choices. They stick with others (and never utter the phrase "I'll be right back"), and they are cautious of their surroundings. They do not let their guards down, and their will to live shines brightly throughout.
Then, there are the dumbasses. These people feed the gore quota, and usually die based upon how dumb they really are. The
impaired go pretty quickly. The
sluts go shortly thereafter. Both are feeding other vices that bring about their demise. They are followed by "collateral" characters. These characters make pretty good decisions, but then make one fatal one. Sometimes, it's from being
scared. Other times, it's because they think they can
take on the killer without proper planning. And then there are the ones that
have survived but not really bought into the survival plan..
Rule #2 to surviving a quit is Don't be a dumbass. Plan. Make good decisions. Learn to think on your feet, and react to the situation.Even though this story starts out with many characters, it's surprising how few are left at the end. And when those few have the final confrontation with the monster, you know the killer will not stay dead. It doesn't matter how badly maimed, there's one more good scare and a bunch of sequals that remind us that we are at the disadvantage.
We can die. It cannot.Rule #3 to a surviving a quit is that the bitch will never die. Never, ever, ever let your quard down.Pancakes, bitches.