First Week

[DWEIRICK]

Day 365 Sober!! ODAAT

I don't have some profound speech or life-changing wisdom to hand out today, but I do have a year of experience living sober, and that's worth something.
What I know for sure is this: this quit was and still is an absolute monster compared to nicotine.
That's not me minimizing nicotine addiction. Anyone who knows me knows how seriously I take my nicotine quit. Nicotine owned me for years, and I respect that addiction every single day.
But alcohol was different.
Alcohol has the ability to destroy my life a whole lot faster than a can of dip ever could. Alcohol will cost me my family, my career, my freedom, or even someone's life if I make the wrong decision and take that one drink. The stakes are higher, and deep down I know that if I didn't get this under control, eventually it was going to take everything from me.

The last 365 days haven't been perfect. There were cravings, rough days, stressful days, celebrations, holidays, and plenty of moments where my addict brain tried to convince me that one drink wouldn't matter.
The difference today is that I know exactly where "one drink" leads.
It never ends with one.
I also know I didn't get here alone.
To my brothers and sisters in the alcohol quit group, thank you.
Thank you for the support, the guidance, the accountability, the hard truths, and the willingness to share your experiences. There wasn't a single challenge I faced this year that somebody here hadn't already walked through before me.
When I needed advice, it was here.
When I needed perspective, it was here.
When I needed a kick in the ass, it was definitely here.
That support means everything when you're fighting for your sobriety.
A year ago, I was hoping I could do this.
Today, I know I can.
Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. I don't know what challenges are coming next, and I don't know what life will throw at me.
But I do know one thing:
I won't drink today.
Thank you all for helping me make it to one year sober.
Much love,

— Dustin
ODAAT

[DWEIRICK]

Day 352

As I inch closer to the coveted one-year mark, I'm reminded that I've stood in this position before. The difference this time is that I've learned some hard lessons along the way.

* Isolating myself while I was drowning was not the smartest move.
* Burning bridges when I should have been asking for help was not the smartest move.
* Neglecting my mental health and ignoring the warning signs was not the smartest move.
* Shitting on the brothers and sisters who had my back through my first stoppages was not the smartest move.
* Walking away from a system that I knew worked was not the smartest move.

The smartest move?

Finally manning the fuck up and throwing everything I have at this addiction.

I can't undo the damage I've caused. I can't erase the mistakes, broken promises, or wasted opportunities. What I can do is learn from them, grow from them, and make damn sure I never become that person again.

The goal isn't to pretend the past didn't happen. The goal is to use it as fuel to build a better future.

Today, I'm still quit. Today, I'm still learning. Today, I'm still fighting.

NAFAR.

[DWEIRICK]

Day 346

"Burn your Boats"

At the very start of your quit, you have to burn the boats.

You have to stop looking at smokeless tobacco like it’s still an option sitting there waiting for you on a bad day. You have to close that door completely. No “just in case.” No “maybe someday.” No romanticizing the buzz or bargaining with yourself after a stressful day.

The second you leave yourself an escape route, your addict brain will eventually try to use it.

Burning the boats means making a decision that there is no going back. It means understanding that nicotine never actually fixed anything in your life — it just kept you trapped in the cycle of needing relief from the very thing causing the discomfort in the first place.

A lot of us spent years believing dip was stress relief, a reward, a coping tool, or part of our identity. But once you get enough distance from it, you realize it was just dependency dressed up as comfort.

Closing the door on nicotine is uncomfortable because it forces you to face life without the crutch. But that’s also where growth happens. That’s where confidence comes from. Every hard day you get through without packing a lip proves you never actually needed it to begin with.

There’s freedom in reaching the point where relapse is no longer part of the conversation. Not because cravings magically disappear, but because you’ve already decided nicotine no longer belongs in your life.

Burn the boats. Close the door. Move forward and don’t look back.

[DWEIRICK]

Day 345/350

I finally feel like I’ve hit a good phase in both my nicotine and alcohol quits. There were times when things got harder than I could handle on my own, and that’s when I leaned on the tools and support around me instead of doing what the old Dustin would’ve done — burying it and using it as an excuse to crack the door back open for the nic-bitch. That door isn’t cracked anymore. I bolted it shut, welded it shut, then burned and sank the ship behind it so there’s no retreat back to that life. Even though I hit that good phase I have to remain vigilant always! Comfort kills quits and I refuse to get comfortable or to let my guard down.

Yesterday I had my second in-person therapy session, and saying it’s helping would be an understatement. Quitting both nicotine and alcohol at the same time comes with its own challenges because both require me to show up for myself every single day — even on the days I don’t feel like it. I also had a really good conversation with my daughter. She’s been struggling with people doubting her and not trusting her ability to stay quit. I shared something that really stuck with me from a conversation between me, a fellow retread and @bicycleptic  I recently told a fellow retread that even though Bike shows up every day, tags me, and supports me, I doubted he truly trusted me because of my past actions. Bikes response was simple: “You’re still a bitch, and no, I don’t trust you. The only thing you can do is show up every day and prove me wrong.”

Honestly? I respect that. I told my daughter the same thing. Trust isn’t rebuilt through promises — it’s rebuilt through consistency. Through showing up daily. Through action. She asked if that bothered me, and I told her absolutely not. I use that doubt as fuel. It pushes me to never become the version of Dustin who always left the door open. Every day quit is another weld on that door.

Sometimes we need that kick in the ass to force us to wake up and realize this is not a game; this is life and death.

[DWEIRICK]

Day 337/342

Yesterday, my wife brought our daughter home from rehab. It was good to see her again and to see her in a much better place than when she left. Her siblings were thrilled to have her back, and so were the damn dogs lol.

We had a good heart-to-heart conversation, and I explained to her that the road ahead won’t always be easy, but it’s not impossible. Here’s to moving forward and building the better life she deserves.

I’d be doing an injustice to KTC if I didn’t stop and thank everyone here who played a role in supporting me — calling, texting, and checking in on me. So many brothers and sisters reached out while my world was crashing down around me, and you all gave me the support I needed to keep my head in the game and stay nicotine- and alcohol-free.

This community saves lives every single day, and I will forever be grateful to the people who stood in hell with me and refused to let me drown.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[DWEIRICK]

Day 331

Got some really good news today!

Dakota, our 12-year-old son who has had to undergo back surgeries every year, is about to have his final surgery this year. By October, his spine will be fully fused, and he won’t need yearly surgeries anymore.

Our daughter is also making amazing progress in rehab and should be home by the end of the month. Little by little, everything is starting to come back together.

And on top of all that, I made it through without any cancer dirt! I may have leaned on this place a little heavily at times, but that’s exactly what this community is here for. Thank you all for the support.

[DWEIRICK]

Day 329 (Late Post)

Today I had my first therapy session ever and I have to say I came out feeling so much better. I had a weight lifted that I thought I had to carry forever and damn it feels good. I can’t believe I waited so long to actually go through with this. Huge respect to @BigRedDog for helping me and nudging me to actually go through with it. Also, my wife who convinced me that this was something needed.

Here’s to finally healing…

[DWEIRICK]

Day 326

It’s been a while since I’ve had an update on my daughter’s situation. After catching her multiple times abusing alcohol and drugs, along with a more recent incident involving her stealing and abusing her mother’s prescription medication, we had to make the difficult decision to put her in rehab.

It’s over an hour from our house, and she can only make contact once a week. Yesterday, we got a call from her, and for the first time in a long time, it was overwhelmingly positive. She’s actively participating in her recovery, and she’s doing so well that she could be released after 30 days. What really caught me off guard, though, was that she asked for an extension of another week or two because she feels like she’s making real progress and wants to keep building on it.

Her mother and I are incredibly proud of her. This is a huge step forward in her recovery. For once, I actually went to bed with tears of joy instead of the constant fear of my world crashing down around me.

I honestly don’t know how I would’ve made it through this without the support of my wife and this community. I received so much help and advice from people here who had once been in the same position my daughter is now in, and having that support was imperative to both my quit and getting through this entire situation.

KTC is huge, and not just for quitting nicotine. I’ve built so many relationships here, and without those connections, my quit would’ve never remained intact. KTC and its members are a huge reason I’m still nicotine-free after everything that’s happened. This experience has proven yet again that there is nothing life can throw at you that requires nicotine to get through it.

Burn your boats. NAFAR.

[DWEIRICK]

Day 312

Yesterday was a lot, to say the least.

I worked an overtime shift, and just before going in I got a call from the rehab where our daughter is staying. The report was positive—she’s actively participating in her recovery. I can’t help but wonder if she’s doing it to appease them or if she’s truly ready to get better, but either way, it’s something.

While at work, we took a 911 call from an officer at another dispatch center—his infant was in cardiac arrest. Unfortunately, the child didn’t make it. Calls involving kids are always hard in this line of work, and they hit even harder when you have children of your own.

On a more positive note, I also got a call about starting therapy. If I’m being honest, it’s been a long time coming. I need to take the armor off for a while and allow myself a break. I’m hoping this is a step in the right direction.

[DWEIRICK]

Day 309

Addiction really does suck. I can’t even fully describe the sense of loss I’m feeling right now. It’s a strange kind of grief—almost like losing someone, except they’re still here. It feels more like they’re just… missing.

I know where she is, and I know she’s safe, but what I don’t know is whether she’s ready for the fight ahead of her.

We spoke briefly on the phone the other day. After that, I went through her room and found more hidden items, along with a lot of papers with writing on them. I wasn’t sure at first if they were school-related or something else, but after skimming a few, it became clear they were journal entries—something she had been working on in therapy.

To be honest, before I even read them, I was scared I might find a suicide note. She had already made an attempt before I came across the papers, so that fear was very real.

Some of what I read was really concerning. She wrote about harming herself and not caring about the consequences, both for herself and for others. There were also parts where she talked about hurting people emotionally and seeming unaffected by it.

It was hard to read, honestly. I just hope she’s able to get the help she needs.

[MN_Engineer]

All love involves sacrifice. And to love is to will the good of others.

It sounds like your heart is full of love for your family and while it may not be reciprocated now, I know it won't go unnoticed.

On a less extreme scale, I'm the one always giving and stretching myself thin for my family and it wears on you mentally. I think for me it's partly what kicked off my alcohol abuse. But since quitting, I've channeled the pain and frustrations into trying to love my family more through being more present, kinder with my words, and putting their needs above my own. Because what I've learned by observing all the people who are so happy despite being dealt the crappiest hand in life, is that when you focus outwardly on others, it takes away the time you could spend wallowing in self-pity and despair.

I've utilized counseling off and on over the past few years. There is no shame in that and I've found it to certainly help in some areas. We have to take care of ourselves if we want to be able to provide the best care for our families. Continue to hang in there and break it down like we always say - one minute, one hour, one drive, one appointment, one evening, one day at a time.

[MN_Engineer]

Day 302

I’ve got a hard story to share. It shows just how deep addiction can go—and how it affects not just us, but the people we love most.

Last year, I quit drinking a few days before I quit nicotine. For years, alcohol was my main coping mechanism. I vividly remember one night taking a 9-1-1 call from a distraught mother who had fallen asleep on her child. The baby didn’t survive—suffocated while she was just trying to get some rest. The very next night, I took another call for an infant death.

I came home that morning and drank until I almost threw up, then passed out. That became the pattern—any time I drank, my goal was to black out.

Fast forward to this past Sunday. We were visiting my parents, and our teenage daughter—who’s been struggling with substance use—stole a bottle of liquor from them. She doesn’t have access at our house since I’m sober and my wife doesn’t drink. On top of that, she took my wife’s prescription Valium.

That night, she took two 10mg Valium and drank half the bottle. She’s 16 years old. That combination could have seriously harmed or even killed her.

She’s now going to rehab. The hard part is that we’re making her go. Will it open her eyes? Will it be the moment that helps her choose a different path? I don’t know. All I can do is try to guide her toward help.

I feel like I’ve failed as a father, and “heartbroken” doesn’t even begin to cover it. But I do know this: I am sober, and I will remain committed to my nicotine and alcohol quit. No matter what happens, I’m staying true to both.

I can't even begin to imagine the pain this situation has caused you and your family. I'll be praying your daughter finds it within herself to work towards healing and lasting positive change. If you ever need to vent/talk, my phone is always on.

[DWEIRICK]

Day 302

I’ve got a hard story to share. It shows just how deep addiction can go—and how it affects not just us, but the people we love most.

Last year, I quit drinking a few days before I quit nicotine. For years, alcohol was my main coping mechanism. I vividly remember one night taking a 9-1-1 call from a distraught mother who had fallen asleep on her child. The baby didn’t survive—suffocated while she was just trying to get some rest. The very next night, I took another call for an infant death.

I came home that morning and drank until I almost threw up, then passed out. That became the pattern—any time I drank, my goal was to black out.

Fast forward to this past Sunday. We were visiting my parents, and our teenage daughter—who’s been struggling with substance use—stole a bottle of liquor from them. She doesn’t have access at our house since I’m sober and my wife doesn’t drink. On top of that, she took my wife’s prescription Valium.

That night, she took two 10mg Valium and drank half the bottle. She’s 16 years old. That combination could have seriously harmed or even killed her.

She’s now going to rehab. The hard part is that we’re making her go. Will it open her eyes? Will it be the moment that helps her choose a different path? I don’t know. All I can do is try to guide her toward help.

I feel like I’ve failed as a father, and “heartbroken” doesn’t even begin to cover it. But I do know this: I am sober, and I will remain committed to my nicotine and alcohol quit. No matter what happens, I’m staying true to both.

[Keith0617]

300 Days


If you told me 300+ days ago I’d be back at KTC, I wouldn’t have believed you. I really thought I was done here. I had already slipped, and in my mind, that was it. I carried a lot of embarrassment and didn’t think I’d come back from it.

But I was still addicted.

No matter how I tried to frame it, I kept coming back to the same place. Somewhere along the way, I started telling myself that my situation was different—that I had more going on, that nicotine wasn’t the real problem. It was an easy story to believe, because it let me avoid dealing with what was actually right in front of me.

Looking back, I can see it more clearly now. I wasn’t dealing with things—I was avoiding them.

300 days ago, something shifted. I had to admit that this addiction still had a hold on me—on my health, my time, and the way I was showing up for the people in my life.

And I knew if I didn’t change something, nothing was going to change.

The biggest difference this time has been letting go of the idea that I could do it on my own. The truth is, without KTC, I won’t make it. Coming back, getting connected, and staying accountable—that’s what made this quit different.

Now, even on the hard days, I try to keep it simple:
Just focus on today. ODAAT!

No overthinking it. No looking too far ahead. Just doing what I need to do to stay quit right now.

I’m grateful for the people here who pushed me, supported me, and didn’t give up on me—even when I had already written myself off.

And to anyone new reading this: what you’re doing matters. More than you probably realize. It’s a reminder of where this starts—and why it’s worth fighting through.

300 days doesn’t make me immune to anything. I know I still have to stay aware and keep doing the work.

But today, I’m here. And I’m QLF with all of you!

Huge congrats @DWEIRICK   Just remember it isn’t a sprint. We can’t make up for a previous cave. Keep the focus on ODAAT, help others, and always keep your quit the most importsant thing. You area killing it dude.

[DWEIRICK]

300 Days


If you told me 300+ days ago I’d be back at KTC, I wouldn’t have believed you. I really thought I was done here. I had already slipped, and in my mind, that was it. I carried a lot of embarrassment and didn’t think I’d come back from it.

But I was still addicted.

No matter how I tried to frame it, I kept coming back to the same place. Somewhere along the way, I started telling myself that my situation was different—that I had more going on, that nicotine wasn’t the real problem. It was an easy story to believe, because it let me avoid dealing with what was actually right in front of me.

Looking back, I can see it more clearly now. I wasn’t dealing with things—I was avoiding them.

300 days ago, something shifted. I had to admit that this addiction still had a hold on me—on my health, my time, and the way I was showing up for the people in my life.

And I knew if I didn’t change something, nothing was going to change.

The biggest difference this time has been letting go of the idea that I could do it on my own. The truth is, without KTC, I won’t make it. Coming back, getting connected, and staying accountable—that’s what made this quit different.

Now, even on the hard days, I try to keep it simple:
Just focus on today. ODAAT!

No overthinking it. No looking too far ahead. Just doing what I need to do to stay quit right now.

I’m grateful for the people here who pushed me, supported me, and didn’t give up on me—even when I had already written myself off.

And to anyone new reading this: what you’re doing matters. More than you probably realize. It’s a reminder of where this starts—and why it’s worth fighting through.

300 days doesn’t make me immune to anything. I know I still have to stay aware and keep doing the work.

But today, I’m here. And I’m QLF with all of you!