20 years and scared

[MikeA]

Hey guys. Drinking has killed several of my past quit attempts. I start out thinking I can handle it, but 6 beers later I'm at the gas station buying a can. With the weather warming up, the barbecue grill is calling my name. And we all know what goes hand in hand with barbecue. Just wondering when in your quit, did you guys become able to drink a few without a strong desire to cave?

Protect your quit at all costs. Period.
Do not take any risks. Do not make yourself vulnerable.
Your quit is your priority.

You know what goes hand in hand with fishing, hunting, working, driving, showering, shitting.....yep, that's right, dip, and you quit that.
Looks like it is time to quit the alcohol also. It does not have to go hand in hand with something.

[Keddy]

Hey guys. Drinking has killed several of my past quit attempts. I start out thinking I can handle it, but 6 beers later I'm at the gas station buying a can. With the weather warming up, the barbecue grill is calling my name. And we all know what goes hand in hand with barbecue. Just wondering when in your quit, did you guys become able to drink a few without a strong desire to cave?

Protect your quit at all costs. Period.
Do not take any risks. Do not make yourself vulnerable.
Your quit is your priority.

[ballplayer76]

Thanks for the advice coach, Mr. V, and dippshit(feels weird calling someone that without being angry with them).

Ntartick-Huh???? Not going through anything. Just looking for some guidance from brothers who are well ahead of me. Yes, I can say no to a beer. But thanks for trying. :huh:

[ntartick]

Hey guys. Drinking has killed several of my past quit attempts. I start out thinking I can handle it, but 6 beers later I'm at the gas station buying a can. With the weather warming up, the barbecue grill is calling my name. And we all know what goes hand in hand with barbecue. Just wondering when in your quit, did you guys become able to drink a few without a strong desire to cave?

ballplayer,

I know what you are going through. I know it's tough to, but it does get better.

I am a simple man so I will put this as simply as I can. If you can't say no to a beer, then you need to be in another support group. You are trying to use drinking as an excuse to cave.

I'm not buying what you're selling. Sack up and quit like a man.

NTartick

[dippshit]

Many a quit has been destroyed by lack of resolve following a six pack of schlitz.

Be careful.

Everyone is different, but I wasn't able to catch a beer buzz without jonseing like a true addict until well after 100 days.

[ballplayer76]

Haven't been drinking. Don't "need" to drink. But do enjoy a few while cooking on the grill or watching the Cubs get their annual ass whoopin. Lol. Just wondering what the general rule of thumb is. I understand everyone is different. I won't put myself in a bad situation.

[mrvalentine21]

Hey guys. Drinking has killed several of my past quit attempts. I start out thinking I can handle it, but 6 beers later I'm at the gas station buying a can. With the weather warming up, the barbecue grill is calling my name. And we all know what goes hand in hand with barbecue. Just wondering when in your quit, did you guys become able to drink a few without a strong desire to cave?

I've heard from vets 40 days some say 70 days and some say 100 it all depends on your personal quit as long as you can handle a beer without the can go for it. But when you drink don't forget the promise you make by posting roll everyday.

[Coach Steve]

Lots of people advocate that you do not drink at all for at least the first 50-75 days. I think this is a "to each his/her own" practice. I have continued to drink beer during my quit, but I do not go out to bars much anymore since I'm married and my wife is pregnant. I have a rule that once I start drinking I can't drive anywhere so it's never been a problem for me.

As for you, if it has ruined quits in the past, then I would recommend you stop drinking for awhile. If you do want to continue drinking then you need to do it in moderation. My last suggestion is simple, it's called will power. Your brain is treating drinking beer as an excuse because that's what your addiction is telling your mind. Reverse the cycle, be strong. Tell the addiction to fuck off. If you can't do that then you have two options with each having a different result:

Option # 1: Keep drinking and cave

Option # 2: Stop drinking

Sounds like a no-brainer, right?

[Wt57]

I aint no vet but dont let us down get out of a bad situation

[ballplayer76]

Hey guys. Drinking has killed several of my past quit attempts. I start out thinking I can handle it, but 6 beers later I'm at the gas station buying a can. With the weather warming up, the barbecue grill is calling my name. And we all know what goes hand in hand with barbecue. Just wondering when in your quit, did you guys become able to drink a few without a strong desire to cave?

[Grizzly25]

So here I sit at day 15. Some days have been ok, but most have sucked ridiculous amounts of donkey dick!! I read quite a bit on this site. There's a lot of repetitively used phrases...drink the Kool-aid...quit for you...one day at a time..etc. I completely understand all of them except one..."embrace the suck"...until today. Normally, when a crave hits, I will do some push-ups, or something else that I've read about other people doing. But inside my head, I am not fighting the crave. I am feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I have to go through this, and other pussyish thoughts. Today I watched as my co-worker stuff a fatty in his lip. Watched him tongue it into place, throw a napkin in a paper cup and let out that first brown spit. Man, it is crazy how something that is sooooo disgusting to normal people, looks fucking delicious to an addict. BAM!!! The crave hit me so hard, I think I was drooling. I thought about asking him to spare one for a few seconds. Changed my mind, and walked away. As the self-pitying thoughts were flowing into my head, something changed. I got fucking pissed!!!! I was so sick of suffering and feeling sorry for myself day after day after day, that I got more pissed off than I can remember being in a very long time. I tried going to the men's restroom to splash some water on my face and cool down. Upon discovering the door was locked, I unleashed about 3 or 4 full force punches on the door. After hearing my boss scream like a 3 year old girl, I decided to take a brisk walk to the other side of the plant...and then it hit me...embrace the suck...it sucks so bad so that I won't forget it, and won't be stupid enough to put myself through it again. How simple? Why did it take me this long to figure out? Gentlemen, I have welcomed craves since that moment this morning. In a sick way, enjoying them even. I have been given TONS of excellent advice from you guys. But I definitely have a favorite piece now.

Really nice post. thanks for sharing that. it makes me realize that i too had a moment where i learned what that meant. didn't realize it until just now, but mine goes like this. It's day 28, massive crave hits and i jump my ass in the car to go get fake dip (I know I should have had it handy and I always do now). Leave my 13 year old daughter at home by herself (no biggie) but we are supposed to be spending time together. I feel pretty shitty about it, but still gotta do what I gotta do to protect the quit so i do it. Fast forward to the next day and I am coming home from work and the full weight of what i did hits me while a particularly enraging song is blasting on the radio (chevelle, "seeing red"). I have let nicotine control my life for 25 years and even now, on day 28 of my quit, it made me do something shitty to my family. I go from calm to ENRAGED in 2 seconds and pound the shit out of my steering wheel screaming I FUCKING HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU with spit flying all over my car and myself. That was my moment to learn "embrace the suck".

I ain't goin back dudes. It ain't happenin.

I am quit today with you and thanks for helping me.

Good stuff rangy  ballplayer!!

Its times like that that always put everyone who reads your stories perspective back into line!

I thank you for sharing and stay strong brother freedom is never easy but it is always worth it!

[rangy96]

So here I sit at day 15. Some days have been ok, but most have sucked ridiculous amounts of donkey dick!! I read quite a bit on this site. There's a lot of repetitively used phrases...drink the Kool-aid...quit for you...one day at a time..etc. I completely understand all of them except one..."embrace the suck"...until today. Normally, when a crave hits, I will do some push-ups, or something else that I've read about other people doing. But inside my head, I am not fighting the crave. I am feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I have to go through this, and other pussyish thoughts. Today I watched as my co-worker stuff a fatty in his lip. Watched him tongue it into place, throw a napkin in a paper cup and let out that first brown spit. Man, it is crazy how something that is sooooo disgusting to normal people, looks fucking delicious to an addict. BAM!!! The crave hit me so hard, I think I was drooling. I thought about asking him to spare one for a few seconds. Changed my mind, and walked away. As the self-pitying thoughts were flowing into my head, something changed. I got fucking pissed!!!! I was so sick of suffering and feeling sorry for myself day after day after day, that I got more pissed off than I can remember being in a very long time. I tried going to the men's restroom to splash some water on my face and cool down. Upon discovering the door was locked, I unleashed about 3 or 4 full force punches on the door. After hearing my boss scream like a 3 year old girl, I decided to take a brisk walk to the other side of the plant...and then it hit me...embrace the suck...it sucks so bad so that I won't forget it, and won't be stupid enough to put myself through it again. How simple? Why did it take me this long to figure out? Gentlemen, I have welcomed craves since that moment this morning. In a sick way, enjoying them even. I have been given TONS of excellent advice from you guys. But I definitely have a favorite piece now.

Really nice post. thanks for sharing that. it makes me realize that i too had a moment where i learned what that meant. didn't realize it until just now, but mine goes like this. It's day 28, massive crave hits and i jump my ass in the car to go get fake dip (I know I should have had it handy and I always do now). Leave my 13 year old daughter at home by herself (no biggie) but we are supposed to be spending time together. I feel pretty shitty about it, but still gotta do what I gotta do to protect the quit so i do it. Fast forward to the next day and I am coming home from work and the full weight of what i did hits me while a particularly enraging song is blasting on the radio (chevelle, "seeing red"). I have let nicotine control my life for 25 years and even now, on day 28 of my quit, it made me do something shitty to my family. I go from calm to ENRAGED in 2 seconds and pound the shit out of my steering wheel screaming I FUCKING HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU with spit flying all over my car and myself. That was my moment to learn "embrace the suck".

I ain't goin back dudes. It ain't happenin.

I am quit today with you and thanks for helping me.

[DeanTheCoot]

So here I sit at day 15. Some days have been ok, but most have sucked ridiculous amounts of donkey dick!! I read quite a bit on this site. There's a lot of repetitively used phrases...drink the Kool-aid...quit for you...one day at a time..etc. I completely understand all of them except one..."embrace the suck"...until today. Normally, when a crave hits, I will do some push-ups, or something else that I've read about other people doing. But inside my head, I am not fighting the crave. I am feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I have to go through this, and other pussyish thoughts. Today I watched as my co-worker stuff a fatty in his lip. Watched him tongue it into place, throw a napkin in a paper cup and let out that first brown spit. Man, it is crazy how something that is sooooo disgusting to normal people, looks fucking delicious to an addict. BAM!!! The crave hit me so hard, I think I was drooling. I thought about asking him to spare one for a few seconds. Changed my mind, and walked away. As the self-pitying thoughts were flowing into my head, something changed. I got fucking pissed!!!! I was so sick of suffering and feeling sorry for myself day after day after day, that I got more pissed off than I can remember being in a very long time. I tried going to the men's restroom to splash some water on my face and cool down. Upon discovering the door was locked, I unleashed about 3 or 4 full force punches on the door. After hearing my boss scream like a 3 year old girl, I decided to take a brisk walk to the other side of the plant...and then it hit me...embrace the suck...it sucks so bad so that I won't forget it, and won't be stupid enough to put myself through it again. How simple? Why did it take me this long to figure out? Gentlemen, I have welcomed craves since that moment this morning. In a sick way, enjoying them even. I have been given TONS of excellent advice from you guys. But I definitely have a favorite piece now.

YES!!! Excellent shit!

Enveloping yourself in the most lowly moments of a quit serves two purposes:

1. You will remember how much it sucked, which will help you think twice about going down this road from the start again. This is what you're alluding to.

2. Beating back a massive crave is a trophy. It's a source and emblem of pride. After beating back nine million craves, imagine how proud you're going to be? And how unlikely it will be to squander that pride just to go back to a mouthful of leukoplakia, irregular heartbeats and breath that smells like an ass rim?

Excellent, brother

[Suck-It]

So here I sit at day 15. Some days have been ok, but most have sucked ridiculous amounts of donkey dick!! I read quite a bit on this site. There's a lot of repetitively used phrases...drink the Kool-aid...quit for you...one day at a time..etc. I completely understand all of them except one..."embrace the suck"...until today. Normally, when a crave hits, I will do some push-ups, or something else that I've read about other people doing. But inside my head, I am not fighting the crave. I am feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I have to go through this, and other pussyish thoughts. Today I watched as my co-worker stuff a fatty in his lip. Watched him tongue it into place, throw a napkin in a paper cup and let out that first brown spit. Man, it is crazy how something that is sooooo disgusting to normal people, looks fucking delicious to an addict. BAM!!! The crave hit me so hard, I think I was drooling. I thought about asking him to spare one for a few seconds. Changed my mind, and walked away. As the self-pitying thoughts were flowing into my head, something changed. I got fucking pissed!!!! I was so sick of suffering and feeling sorry for myself day after day after day, that I got more pissed off than I can remember being in a very long time. I tried going to the men's restroom to splash some water on my face and cool down. Upon discovering the door was locked, I unleashed about 3 or 4 full force punches on the door. After hearing my boss scream like a 3 year old girl, I decided to take a brisk walk to the other side of the plant...and then it hit me...embrace the suck...it sucks so bad so that I won't forget it, and won't be stupid enough to put myself through it again. How simple? Why did it take me this long to figure out? Gentlemen, I have welcomed craves since that moment this morning. In a sick way, enjoying them even. I have been given TONS of excellent advice from you guys. But I definitely have a favorite piece now.

Good Stuff Ball:
Continue day by day. Recognizing your triggers and learning how to deal with all the emotions we used to cram back inside our souls, solidifies your quit. I am proud of you. Keep your quit vigilant and don't hesitate to reach out.

Vadge

Where do you work? Any chance you can ask this coworker that you're trying to unass the cancer dirt and to at least show some respect by stepping out to shovel that crap into his mouth? I honestly don't think that's too big of an imposition. If you feel skittish about that, don't. WTF is he doing dipping at work anyways. If he gives you shit about it, throw his can out the window and tell him to fuck off.

You're a beast. I'm lucky I don't have assholes around me loading their lips, that would make it rougher for sure. Screw those pricks.

I'm glad to see you getting pissed off about this stuff. I feel like Emperor Palpatine -- "I can FEEL your anger". It really helps you maintain focus against the addictive thought justifications that randomly come. Come over to the dark side, bro. Fuck tobacco, and fuck those assholes at work. This guy at work is an obstacle between you and your quit, regardless of how "cool" he is.

Great post ballplayer. Glad to be quit with you. Keep it up and enjoy the pain, embrace the suck. It will save our lives. Never go back so that never to endure this pain again. Great job

[teamgreen]

Great post. I remember when I had the same thing hit me. I was running from craves the first couple days trying to trick my mind into thinking it wasn't that bad. Then on the fourth or fifth day after not being able to sleep, having crippling craves, funk, fog, etc, it hit me. How in THE FUCK did I allow myself to use something for 20+ years that would make me feel this miserable if I didn't have it for a couple days? I was livid. I was furious at big tobacco. I was furious at myself for being such an idiot for so long. At that point I wrapped myself up in that anger quilt and stewed in it. Healthy anger can go a long way when things get rough. DO embrace the suck and don't ever forget.

It does get better, but hold onto that anger. It got me through a lot early on.

And nice work sharing this stuff. It helps you and everyone else here.