Day 2

[srans]

Jake, Ill be honest with you, I was really pissed when you had your problem. I have been watching you, your turning into a good quitter. Keep that shit up, and now enjoy my dancing lady, in your thread again.

I quit with you, today.

You played a valuable roll to ktc you know. You coming back showed that people should not be so quick to give up on an individual. You helped me to see that maybe there is still hope sometimes. Bottom line, a lot of us are not on this sight for money, recognition, glory or bored. I'm here to help people and at the same time it helps me stay quit. I like being part of something bigger than me. Thanks for coming back,, you may be savings someones life. Glad to be quit with you.

[kkljinc]

Yesterday while sitting in my office, nothing out of the ordinary, my arms and legs began to feel odd then I got this uneasy feeling in my gut, then I got the chills and my body felt similarly the same as when I am taking on the flu, then all out fucking panic. I knew it was just in my head, or did I? At moment I thought I'm having a stroke, or no a heart attack, wait a minute this is just stress, omg what do I do??? It was like I was trapped inside myself. Scariest shit I've ever had happen. Funny how yesterday afternoon and this am I have had so many brothers reach out to me. Made me ten times more comfortable.

I asked Srans if he had a camera on me, he said you know how I know your.... Me: "how" Srans: "I could see it in the shortness of your post with less of the wisdom you previously posted with"

Cbird called me out for not sharing more, then called me and helped a ton.

Applejack just listened to me panic on the phone and offered a simple calming example of his life.

Frazz posted a frown face with me this am. Lmao not sure I may have pissed that total bad ass quitter off in some way. Or mayb it was a subliminal message ha ha. Either way it woke me up.

Several others have reached out.
At the end of that horrible event I'm still quit. I feel like lieutenant Dan "you'll never sink this ship". I road that storm out and kicked the shit out of nicotine. Due to me posting my word yes, but Largely due to my brothers here. See if we just post roll and are not invested its unlikely help will be there before its too late. Invest yourself and if i dont have your number i will be pmiing you shortly for it. Being invested......if not saved, it damn sure helped my quit, i have no room for error so ill go with saved! I quit with all you guys.

Thank you to all that reached out to me on purpose or by accident yesterday.

You're a total bad ass Mo Fo Ed! I have no doubts about the strength of you  your quit. Keep it going  I quit with you today!

Thanks for the kind words Flyby.

'boob' and 'Cheers' quit wood.

[traumagnet]

read your pm I have an explanation of your terror yesterday

[Erussell]

Yesterday while sitting in my office, nothing out of the ordinary, my arms and legs began to feel odd then I got this uneasy feeling in my gut, then I got the chills and my body felt similarly the same as when I am taking on the flu, then all out fucking panic. I knew it was just in my head, or did I? At moment I thought I'm having a stroke, or no a heart attack, wait a minute this is just stress, omg what do I do??? It was like I was trapped inside myself. Scariest shit I've ever had happen. Funny how yesterday afternoon and this am I have had so many brothers reach out to me. Made me ten times more comfortable.

I asked Srans if he had a camera on me, he said you know how I know your.... Me: "how" Srans: "I could see it in the shortness of your post with less of the wisdom you previously posted with"

Cbird called me out for not sharing more, then called me and helped a ton.

Applejack just listened to me panic on the phone and offered a simple calming example of his life.

Frazz posted a frown face with me this am. Lmao not sure I may have pissed that total bad ass quitter off in some way. Or mayb it was a subliminal message ha ha. Either way it woke me up.

Several others have reached out.
At the end of that horrible event I'm still quit. I feel like lieutenant Dan "you'll never sink this ship". I road that storm out and kicked the shit out of nicotine. Due to me posting my word yes, but Largely due to my brothers here. See if we just post roll and are not invested its unlikely help will be there before its too late. Invest yourself and if i dont have your number i will be pmiing you shortly for it. Being invested......if not saved, it damn sure helped my quit, i have no room for error so ill go with saved! I quit with all you guys.

Thank you to all that reached out to me on purpose or by accident yesterday.

You're a total bad ass Mo Fo Ed! I have no doubts about the strength of you  your quit. Keep it going  I quit with you today!

Thanks for the kind words Flyby.

[kkljinc]

Jake, Ill be honest with you, I was really pissed when you had your problem. I have been watching you, your turning into a good quitter. Keep that shit up, and now enjoy my dancing lady, in your thread again.

I quit with you, today.

[flyby]

Yesterday while sitting in my office, nothing out of the ordinary, my arms and legs began to feel odd then I got this uneasy feeling in my gut, then I got the chills and my body felt similarly the same as when I am taking on the flu, then all out fucking panic. I knew it was just in my head, or did I? At moment I thought I'm having a stroke, or no a heart attack, wait a minute this is just stress, omg what do I do??? It was like I was trapped inside myself. Scariest shit I've ever had happen. Funny how yesterday afternoon and this am I have had so many brothers reach out to me. Made me ten times more comfortable.

I asked Srans if he had a camera on me, he said you know how I know your.... Me: "how" Srans: "I could see it in the shortness of your post with less of the wisdom you previously posted with"

Cbird called me out for not sharing more, then called me and helped a ton.

Applejack just listened to me panic on the phone and offered a simple calming example of his life.

Frazz posted a frown face with me this am. Lmao not sure I may have pissed that total bad ass quitter off in some way. Or mayb it was a subliminal message ha ha. Either way it woke me up.

Several others have reached out.
At the end of that horrible event I'm still quit. I feel like lieutenant Dan "you'll never sink this ship". I road that storm out and kicked the shit out of nicotine. Due to me posting my word yes, but Largely due to my brothers here. See if we just post roll and are not invested its unlikely help will be there before its too late. Invest yourself and if i dont have your number i will be pmiing you shortly for it. Being invested......if not saved, it damn sure helped my quit, i have no room for error so ill go with saved! I quit with all you guys.

Thank you to all that reached out to me on purpose or by accident yesterday.

You're a total bad ass Mo Fo Ed! I have no doubts about the strength of you  your quit. Keep it going  I quit with you today!

[Erussell]

With some of the recent caving that's been going on I decided to go back and read this thread! Probably the most powerful reading I had ever done. I didn't read it until after I had caved and come back and manned up. Erussell and Srans are two of the people I looked up to before and after I came back. The support here is far better then anything the NIC whore offers! When ever I have a moment where I think about giving up the fight, I read this! I'm glad you all held me accountable! Im glad Erussell made this post. It saved my life! Thank you!

Hope Matt F comes back and gets this same support! Tough love is good!

Jake you turned yourself back into an August badass, a Total damn badass quitter. All Erussell has to say bout dat.

[jake frawley]

With some of the recent caving that's been going on I decided to go back and read this thread! Probably the most powerful reading I had ever done. I didn't read it until after I had caved and come back and manned up. Erussell and Srans are two of the people I looked up to before and after I came back. The support here is far better then anything the NIC whore offers! When ever I have a moment where I think about giving up the fight, I read this! I'm glad you all held me accountable! Im glad Erussell made this post. It saved my life! Thank you!

Hope Matt F comes back and gets this same support! Tough love is good!

[Erussell]

Yesterday while sitting in my office, nothing out of the ordinary, my arms and legs began to feel odd then I got this uneasy feeling in my gut, then I got the chills and my body felt similarly the same as when I am taking on the flu, then all out fucking panic. I knew it was just in my head, or did I? At moment I thought I'm having a stroke, or no a heart attack, wait a minute this is just stress, omg what do I do??? It was like I was trapped inside myself. Scariest shit I've ever had happen. Funny how yesterday afternoon and this am I have had so many brothers reach out to me. Made me ten times more comfortable.

I asked Srans if he had a camera on me, he said you know how I know your.... Me: "how" Srans: "I could see it in the shortness of your post with less of the wisdom you previously posted with"

Cbird called me out for not sharing more, then called me and helped a ton.

Applejack just listened to me panic on the phone and offered a simple calming example of his life.

Frazz posted a frown face with me this am. Lmao not sure I may have pissed that total bad ass quitter off in some way. Or mayb it was a subliminal message ha ha. Either way it woke me up.

Several others have reached out.
At the end of that horrible event I'm still quit. I feel like lieutenant Dan "you'll never sink this ship". I road that storm out and kicked the shit out of nicotine. Due to me posting my word yes, but Largely due to my brothers here. See if we just post roll and are not invested its unlikely help will be there before its too late. Invest yourself and if i dont have your number i will be pmiing you shortly for it. Being invested......if not saved, it damn sure helped my quit, i have no room for error so ill go with saved! I quit with all you guys.

Thank you to all that reached out to me on purpose or by accident yesterday.

[nebraskadad58]

Ok so I had my first fucking dip dream. (several of you said this would happen) What kinda fucked up joke is mind playing in me. I am with my dad, (whom I never dipped around), I am smoking, ( I never smoked) then I decided I had some old dried out cope fine and I put it in. I remember every detail. So fucking real. The flavor being off due to the older date, the roughness on my lip from the course dry grains. Then all of a sudden I remembered I was quiting, I was upset. Then when I remembered my promise to KTC and all of you all i freaked, spit it out, washed my mouth out, and began pacing. My mind racing, I kept asking myself why? why? why? How could I screw up, how did I forget I was quit. What the fuck was I going to tell you guys? I woke up just before I had a stoke, and was still in a panic. Took a minute to calm down but as I did I was so thankful for the dream. I was terrified only because I want to be quit desperately and how much I intend to keep my word to you all! It was a great reminder of how I would feel if I did cave and put one in, ashamed, disappointed and heart broken. It felt worse than the craves by far. Glad to still be quit with you bad ass quitters.

Ed,

I've not had a dip dream yet, But over the years i've had quite a few drinking and drugging dreams so friggin' real you wake up in a sweaty panic. I've been clean and sober for a long time, and my most recent dream was a "weed dream" shortly after Colorado legalized pot. So real i smelled the buzz.

the mind plays tricks and luckily as reminders of what we can have back if we want it.
I never want the hell back that the booze and drugs gave me, and the same holds for the crap in a can.

[AppleJack]

Ok so I had my first fucking dip dream. (several of you said this would happen) What kinda fucked up joke is mind playing in me. I am with my dad, (whom I never dipped around), I am smoking, ( I never smoked)  then I decided I had some old dried out cope fine and I put it in. I remember every detail. So fucking real. The flavor being off due to the older date, the roughness on my lip from the course dry grains.  Then all of a sudden I remembered I was quiting, I was upset. Then when I remembered my promise to KTC and all of you all i freaked, spit it out, washed my mouth out, and began pacing. My mind racing, I kept asking myself why? why? why? How could I screw up, how did I forget I was quit. What the fuck was I going to tell you guys? I woke up just before I had a stoke, and was still in a panic. Took a minute to calm down but as I did I was so thankful for the dream. I was terrified only because I want to be quit desperately and how much I intend to keep my word to you all!  It was a great reminder of how I would feel if I did cave and put one in, ashamed, disappointed and heart broken. It felt worse than the craves by far. Glad to still be quit with you bad ass quitters.

Yea,,, dip dreams can be quite realistic. Like i've said before, I still think I caved the night I had my first dip dream. I couldn't find no proof when I awoke so I kept posting. If you didn't find a can around with your fingerprints I recommend you move on like nothing happened. Glad to be quit with you.

oh I hear ya you had yours around the same time I had mine. They are fucked up...all I could think of when I had mine was how disappointed everyone at KTC is going to be with me....and how above all I let myself down after I gave my word....I guess that is why this site works...
quit with you today...

Oh man! That first one suuuuucked! If you're gonna be sweaty in bed... That is NOT the most fun option! Quit on bro...

[traumagnet]

Ok so I had my first fucking dip dream. (several of you said this would happen) What kinda fucked up joke is mind playing in me. I am with my dad, (whom I never dipped around), I am smoking, ( I never smoked)  then I decided I had some old dried out cope fine and I put it in. I remember every detail. So fucking real. The flavor being off due to the older date, the roughness on my lip from the course dry grains.  Then all of a sudden I remembered I was quiting, I was upset. Then when I remembered my promise to KTC and all of you all i freaked, spit it out, washed my mouth out, and began pacing. My mind racing, I kept asking myself why? why? why? How could I screw up, how did I forget I was quit. What the fuck was I going to tell you guys? I woke up just before I had a stoke, and was still in a panic. Took a minute to calm down but as I did I was so thankful for the dream. I was terrified only because I want to be quit desperately and how much I intend to keep my word to you all!  It was a great reminder of how I would feel if I did cave and put one in, ashamed, disappointed and heart broken. It felt worse than the craves by far. Glad to still be quit with you bad ass quitters.

Yea,,, dip dreams can be quite realistic. Like i've said before, I still think I caved the night I had my first dip dream. I couldn't find no proof when I awoke so I kept posting. If you didn't find a can around with your fingerprints I recommend you move on like nothing happened. Glad to be quit with you.

oh I hear ya you had yours around the same time I had mine. They are fucked up...all I could think of when I had mine was how disappointed everyone at KTC is going to be with me....and how above all I let myself down after I gave my word....I guess that is why this site works...
quit with you today...

[srans]

Ok so I had my first fucking dip dream. (several of you said this would happen) What kinda fucked up joke is mind playing in me. I am with my dad, (whom I never dipped around), I am smoking, ( I never smoked) then I decided I had some old dried out cope fine and I put it in. I remember every detail. So fucking real. The flavor being off due to the older date, the roughness on my lip from the course dry grains. Then all of a sudden I remembered I was quiting, I was upset. Then when I remembered my promise to KTC and all of you all i freaked, spit it out, washed my mouth out, and began pacing. My mind racing, I kept asking myself why? why? why? How could I screw up, how did I forget I was quit. What the fuck was I going to tell you guys? I woke up just before I had a stoke, and was still in a panic. Took a minute to calm down but as I did I was so thankful for the dream. I was terrified only because I want to be quit desperately and how much I intend to keep my word to you all! It was a great reminder of how I would feel if I did cave and put one in, ashamed, disappointed and heart broken. It felt worse than the craves by far. Glad to still be quit with you bad ass quitters.

Yea,,, dip dreams can be quite realistic. Like i've said before, I still think I caved the night I had my first dip dream. I couldn't find no proof when I awoke so I kept posting. If you didn't find a can around with your fingerprints I recommend you move on like nothing happened. Glad to be quit with you.

[Erussell]

Ok so I had my first fucking dip dream. (several of you said this would happen) What kinda fucked up joke is mind playing in me. I am with my dad, (whom I never dipped around), I am smoking, ( I never smoked) then I decided I had some old dried out cope fine and I put it in. I remember every detail. So fucking real. The flavor being off due to the older date, the roughness on my lip from the course dry grains. Then all of a sudden I remembered I was quiting, I was upset. Then when I remembered my promise to KTC and all of you all i freaked, spit it out, washed my mouth out, and began pacing. My mind racing, I kept asking myself why? why? why? How could I screw up, how did I forget I was quit. What the fuck was I going to tell you guys? I woke up just before I had a stoke, and was still in a panic. Took a minute to calm down but as I did I was so thankful for the dream. I was terrified only because I want to be quit desperately and how much I intend to keep my word to you all! It was a great reminder of how I would feel if I did cave and put one in, ashamed, disappointed and heart broken. It felt worse than the craves by far. Glad to still be quit with you bad ass quitters.

[Nic10]

I am writing this in my own thread as I am too damn heart broken to write it in yours Jake. What the fuck man. You and I along with a select few in August put ourselves out there as leaders. We all make mistakes true, but we are the GD leaders of August man. I hope you quit and stay quit I really do, but man you have taken something you gave us that wasn't yours to take back. C once you step out and project yourself as a leader you have taken responsibility of the program. You have shit on our program Jake, not because you caved as much as you gave hope that you pissed on. You don't owe me shit man, but you owe a lot of newbies that came behind you that looked up to you.

I posted in roll yesterday that I quit with you specifically. You didn't even have the respect to call me and give me a chance to talk you off the ledge, so fuck you. Did you sign that little piece of paper in your pocket before you put the shit into your body, or did you even have it with you?

The only thing I can give you is at least you had the balls to come tell us. You owe those guys fighting for their lives right now a detailed explanation as to how it happened to you so that they may avoid alike fate. You owe them more than your sad ass can pay, more than "I can't post roll"!

I do not quit with you today. And as for me you selfish act strengthened my quit!



The rest of August,

There will be other men down, it will happen, it is inevitable. However the percentage of men down is up to us. We chose everyday if we post roll. From there we chose if we honor our word or not, yep we chose. Keeping ones word isn't always easy, but damn it, our word is what is left of us once we leave this world. August let's do this, let's stay strong, let's take this dishonest act of weakness and turn it into lesson for us all. We can quit this shit. Correction we have quit this shit, we will always be addicts but we will never again be slaves unless we chose to do so. Jake chose to be a slave, do you chose to be weak with Jake or go through unadulterated hell with the rest of August and own your freedome!

Erussell

Damn, I hate to hear this. I really thought he was in it for the long haul. Nonetheless I'm still glad to be quit with you eruss and the rest of august!